


Electrum

by Zoe__eoZ



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bellarke, F/M, Finntavia, Mind Meld, Sequel, also appears on fanfic.net, murven - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-08-30 01:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 92,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16755040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoe__eoZ/pseuds/Zoe__eoZ
Summary: Thanks to Clarke's and Bellamy's efforts, their tribes have reached a fragile peace. But a new threat is rising from the Neutral Zone and everyone's happiness is in jeopardy once again.Sequel of sorts to "The Princess and the Eternal."Because even after a happy ending, a story is never truly complete, not all is said and done, and happiness is flighty...Bellarke / Murven / FinntaviaCOMPLETE!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, my little follow up story to The Princess and the Eternal. It's my second attempt at writing it, and since I accidentally deleted most of what I already had (and wasn't happy with anyways), it's quite different from what I initially set out to write.
> 
> This, then, will feature Bellarke, and developing Raven / Murphy, and Finn / Octavia.
> 
> To anyone who's not put off by this: I'm happy to be sharing this with you. And fear not, I come prepared for a likely lack of feedback and finished the first draft of this story so I wouldn't feel discouraged continuing it.
> 
> That being said, I’d love to hear some feedback, the ugly, bad, and good. :)
> 
> I’ll simultaneously be posting this on fanfiction.net for anyone that prefers that site.

 

* * *

...

_**Electrum** _

...

* * *

...

After the Last War, when the lands had been devastated by the explosions of the Big Ones, when nearly all technology had been lost, the old hierarchies broken and vanished, the Old World collapsed almost silently. Like a building already hollowed out, crumbling and powdering into dust until barely anything was left.

But even then, a few people prevailed, suffered through the end to come out alive. To stay. The first survivors had been sick, injured, exhausted, scared and broken. Many had suffered from radiation sickness. Those who didn't die, fled into different parts of the world to find places suitable for living, no matter how long they had to look. Wherever they found a patch that could sustain them, they stayed for a very long time. Laid down roots.

Some in the west, some in the east. By the oceans and the mountains, in woods and forests. And life began to thrive again. Slowly. Gradually. Flora and fauna. Animals, humans...

Factions formed, oblivious to the fact that others had survived, too. Contact didn't happen. Couldn't happen.

It was a vast world. Vast continents, the old infrastructure destroyed, resources hard to come by. Traveling meant horses once again, or walking. Wherever people had ended up after time had stood still, they remained close to it.

America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia had been no more, just old names of an old time, a divide that made no sense anymore. What once was North America had become an island. Canada and the USA were no more. The people that had survived there didn't even know what had happened to the rest of their continent, to Europe, or Asia, or Australia. Whether anyone had survived there, too. Whether maybe the people there had fared much better.

Anything that was divided by the ocean might as well have been dead, sunken into the sea. There was no way, no desire anymore to find out. Disaster had struck too severely for anyone on the American continent to care about anything other than their own immediate needs.

Years passed. Decades. Centuries. New generations rose, replacing the ones that had still seen the War. And when even they had died, yet another generation followed. Then another.

Almost three centuries passed, and something strange happened. It was unsure whether maybe the radiation from the Big Ones was responsible, or whether it could have been a natural mutation.

But among a Western tribe that had come to be known as The Golden, a new ability began to take root: some of them, just a small number, developed the ability to link themselves to partners on a telepathic level. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to it, nothing that would explain why some had that ability and others didn't. It simply seemed to manifest out of nowhere around the end of puberty. Never later, sometimes earlier.

It was so rare, so special, that they soon learned to cherish it, and use it to their advantage. Suddenly, communication over distances was possible again.

Their immediate neighbors, however, known then as the Silveren, never succeeded in achieving the same, and they began to feel inferior, threatened by the powers of the others. By their sudden advantage.

They feared the Golden's powers, feared their own perceived weakness, feared a new war. So they came up with other means of enhancing themselves, creating a deathly weapon of defense, forged from metal only found near detonation sites of the Big Ones, a metal so blazing, so radioactive that even its mining already hurt many. But it didn't seem to kill them… The miners lived with blazing silvery oozing wounds on their bodies, in agony, yet they lived. For years.

This metal, then, would be turned into the vilest weapon to ever exist, a sword so blazing that its movements couldn't be followed, its bite so sharp it could cut through to the bone. Its bearers only able to withstand its vile powers if their bodies remained in direct contact with it: like a vein of silvery blood connecting them, flowing from the swords into their arms, then back.

Soon, the weapons became known as Eternal Weapons, for wounds inflicted by them never healed, just like the ones on the arms of their bearers.

Only the strongest and smartest of the Silveren were chosen to have a procedure done where the lower half of one of their arms was melded to the sword-like weapon, which could then only be taken off under excruciating pain to its bearer. As if a limb was being severed and the pain never dulled…

When the Golden found out about it, they, in turn, felt threatened, and thus a new war began as Silveren and Golden started to fight each other.

…

Until someone came to destroy those weapons. To end that war: Clarke Griffin, who accidentally bonded with a Silveren, Bellamy Blake, bearer of an Eternal Weapon.

Forced into a bond, they learned to live with each other despite their differences, learned that they had a common wish: to end the war.

When they got the chance to take it upon themselves to destroy the first of the Eternal mining sites and find a cure for the Eternal wounds, a fragile peace was finally established.

Finally.

But no war was ever the last, and soon their peace got threatened once again.


	2. How it was...

...

[ **Five** **years** **earlier** ]

...

Sometimes, life could take a weird turn. You thought you had it all planned out, or that the world, society got it all planned out for you, but then, then something happened, and everything changed.

It was like that for Raven Reyes. From an early age on she had known that her parents didn't much care about her. If she wanted a chance to make it in life, she would have to stop looking to them for guidance and support, would have to forego following her stupid dream of getting into science and become a soldier instead. Because the military paid for your expenses, you had a roof above your head and food to eat, which was more than her own family was willing to do for her.

Therefore she joined the academy as soon as she was old enough. Fourteen and full of squashed hopes and forgotten wishes, but with a desperate hunger to learn, she made her way to the top of her classes.

Soon, her instructors noticed just how talented, how smart she was, how above average. And for a glorious moment she wallowed in that feeling. Someone had finally seen her worth, her value. But then they decided that she was prime material not for their science departments or even the medical field, but for their deadliest weapon.

One morning, her instructor took her to the side, placing a too familiar arm around her neck and told her with a whisper that barely hid his excitement that he had suggested her to the Eternal Weapon's Department.

"You'll become an Eternal, Reyes, which - as you know - is the greatest honor we have to give."

Swallowing down a sudden surge of bile, Raven looked at him, trying to seem as exhilarated as he was, but her expression felt frozen and insincere. Because it was. She was terrified. Branded by a terrible blazing sword, she would have to become a blazing weapon herself, fused to her sword to fight the enemy; pain her constant companion, pain the one thing she would bring others.

Gone was her last hope of bringing change, bringing peace to the world.

When she went back to her room that day, she cried so hard that she had to stifle her sobs in her pillow for fear of someone hearing her through the paper thin walls. The plans they had with her, the "honor" they wanted to bestow on her, it had been her nightmare ever since her mom had first sung her the song of "The Princess and the Eternal" when she was a little girl. It had been too gruesome, too unsuitable for any child of course, but her unloving mother hadn't seen it that way, or hadn't cared, instead singing it to her daughter as if it was a lullaby. It had been so fitting.

The dashing soldier with his silvery arm on fire, braving the war, smiting his enemies, his bright shimmer leading his beautiful bride back to him…

Raven panicked thinking about it now. About that blazing sheen, the mind numbing pain it entailed, the mission. She didn't want the war and she didn't want to inflict wounds that would never heal. She didn't hate anyone enough to do that, not even the so-called enemy. She didn't want any of it, couldn't be a part of this. But of course she didn't have a choice. She would have to do what she was told. They never asked, instead assuming it was what any loyal Silveren would want. They expected compliance, gratefulness. The thought alone made her nauseous.

She had seen what it did. Poor Bellamy's face, once kind and with a smile for her, was constantly marred by pain and dark thoughts these days, even more so than before. If she even got to see him anymore, now that his duties kept him away from the academy more and more...

But there was no way out of it. There never was, never would be. For no one.

...

Except for Raven Reyes…

* * *

…

There was a knock on her door. No one ever knocked on her door here.

Ever since she moved out to go to the academy, she had been living on campus, a dark row of faceless houses with lightless corridors and too thin walls dividing its inside into a mass of tiny apartments for the soldiers to be and soldiers that were.

It was a sad environment really, dank and hopeless, forlorn. Yet Raven cherished it. There was a freedom here she never had before, and even the voices, the sounds from the apartments to her left and right, under and over, noises so incessant they could drive any sane person mad, she loved them. They made her feel like she was finally part of something, part of a bigger family almost. Of life.

The place was full of other sad kids like her. Young and often uncared for or abandoned by their families, they looked for the protection and purpose of the military, just like she did, even though most of them would come to regret it. But for a blissful while, this was their happy place. It was hers, too, and she felt liberated despite the hazy future looming ahead.

She had even met a few comrades, like Bellamy, the slightly intimidating Captain's son, who turned out to be so much gentler, so much more sensitive and kind than she had ever expected. Or Finn, the cocky goofy kid who lived to her left and who'd always leave an extra roll from breakfast rounds on her doorstep, or sometimes a funny little origami sculpture. A raven, of course, he was cheesy like that, and she rolled her eyes whenever she found one, or whenever they crossed paths and he smiled at her. But deep down she was grateful for him. Because he cared so sincerely and didn't want anything in return.

Not like her mom, who brought gifts so rarely, and when she did, it was always to make up for something bad… for having forgotten her, or having left her with some shady "friends" to entertain…

No, Finn was not like that. He was a decent person, if such a thing existed, and she couldn't quite tell why he had even taken a liking to her, but he was always so nice and never imposed himself on her, never seemed to expect anything. Not her kindness, not a word, not even a smile, and least of all her body.

...

Another knock, and Raven felt herself tense, reluctantly but swiftly spiraling out of deepest sleep.

...

When she first kissed him, he was the one to pull away, startled and suddenly shy, and she realized that he was actually quite inexperienced, innocent. But he was also cocky, sometimes daring, and once he sensed her allowance, there was soon more passion in his response, a passion that led to more so quickly that she backed away.

When she did, he apologized quickly, wiping a hand over his lips, retreating into his doorway like a shadow swallowed by the sun, and she had to be swift to grab his arm, keep him there before he would have completely vanished.

Their gazes met and she held his like she held his arm, feeling his pulse under her grip

"I'm sorry," he repeated, looking away, "I was coming on too strong, I'll—"

He was stammering, cheeks flushed, lips in an unhappy bow, and she had to smile, though it was a sad smile, an aching feeling taking a hold of her. Relationships never seemed to go anywhere good with her. When he looked back up at her, his face fell and she forced herself to regain her composure so she could try and salvage their friendship, salvage one of the only good things she had ever had in life.

"No," she breathed, swallowing a lump in her throat, her tongue feeling so sluggish in her too dry mouth that it was hard to get anything out. " _I'_ m sorry. I'm… damaged goods, you see? I… I might need to take it slower."

"Of course. Yeah…" He nodded, understanding, yet not understanding, but he smiled at her and didn't touch her, didn't leave her either. Her skin prickled, a scary kind of anticipation rushing over her body, lodging in her calves and the back of her thighs before traveling up, making the hairs on her arms stand on end.

She was worried he'd just let her go now, unwilling to spend more time with someone who clearly needed more effort than he might have been prepared for, but he didn't go anywhere, his gestures didn't stop, and sure enough there was another little origami by her door the next morning, a raven with a slight tear on one side and a piece of tape holding it together.

He was there when she found it, just casually standing among a group of friends, and he smiled over, said something to them, a pat on the shoulder here and there. She picked the sculpture up, rolling it in her palm, frowning at the tape, then staring over at him, watching as he swaggered over. Then he was by her side, arms crossed in front of him as he leaned against his doorframe, watching her where she still stood with the bird, just finally closing her door and grabbing her bag to leave for training.

"Damages can be patched up, you know," he informed her. "Maybe not fixed completely, but almost…" His smile was so kind and open that she felt unbidden tears well in her eyes. This kid was too good to her, for her, and she didn't understand why he was even interested in her.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Definitely…"

She couldn't help but smile, marvel at his kindness. People didn't generally care about her in that way. Her mom had left her, and she didn't really have that many friends. There was Bellamy, who simply never had enough time anymore. And then there was Finn…

...

A few weeks later, she could barely remember why she had ever been afraid. They were lying in bed together, her hand on his chest, his fingers tracing her hairline. It had become so natural, so peaceful, love making in the true sense of the expression, and she knew they should be talking about sweet nothings, except, all she could manage was voicing her fear of her looming fate.

"They mentioned it again," she began, looking up into his face, and he frowned at her, confused for just a second before he understood, somehow always knowing what was going on inside her head.

"The department?"

She nodded, averting her gaze. Wishing she could change the topic.

"The committee was apparently very 'impressed.'" She bit her lip, cuddling up more, burying her face against his chest, trying not to think about what would happen after the procedure. Would they still be lying together like this? Would he still want to? Would _she_ still want to?

"Maybe if someone else volunteers in your stead?" He sounded ridiculously hopeful and it made her irrationally angry. She was merely a few months older, yet sometimes it felt like too big of an age gap. He was a child, and she… was jaded.

"Of how many volunteers have you heard, Finn?" It was a rhetorical question, and she couldn't help the venom in her tone. There were no volunteers, not for being an Eternal, and he knew it. You got selected, chosen, picked out. It was disguised as an honor, but in truth it was like sentencing someone to eternal torture. Worse than death. What a fitting name, then… Eternal.

She shivered involuntarily, but he was kind enough or smart enough not to acknowledge it. Because Raven Reyes wasn't weak. She didn't shiver and was not afraid. She was strong, a fighter, and she could deal with this.

Except. She really couldn't.

...

It was a bright clear summer morning when the emissaries of the Eternal Department eventually came to fetch her. The knocking on her door was loud and unrelenting, and she was pretty sure it was waking up everyone else on her hallway as well.

She immediately knew what this was about. She hadn't slept soundly ever since the instructor first told her she was one of the chosen ones. She had feared the moment ever since. For weeks, months. Months of dreading the inevitable. And now it was here.

She opened the door to a few somber faces. A dark handsome woman with long tresses of hair framing her stoic face extended a hand.

"Raven Reyes?"

She blinked, swallowing hard, panic surging up the small of her back and spreading from there as she shook the woman's hand reluctantly. "Ma'am?"

"Would you please come with us." It was not a question so much as an order. The woman had probably done this a hundred times. There was no inflection to her words, no smile on her face, no explanation of what they were doing there. It was assumed she knew. And she did.

They were here to bring her over, to have her cut and turned into an Eternal. It was really happening. Raven felt paralyzed, all her usual cockiness vanished. She stared at the woman and her small entourage.

"Can I grab a few things? I mean… will I need anything?" she asked dumbly, trying to fight the urge to run, because of course running meant instant execution.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Finn opening his door, but she focused on the woman's mouth, working hard to understand what she was saying, but it felt as if she'd suddenly been struck deaf or dumb and she couldn't seem to make any sense of it all.

Finn walked over, so casually, hands shoved into his pockets, and she tried to shoo him away like a fly, to shoot him warning glances, to make sure he stayed off the Department's radar, but he wasn't paying attention to her cues. Or if he did, he ignored them.

"Excuse me," he said and her eyes stared daggers at him. Why was he drawing attention to himself? The stupid idiot. She was this close to reprimanding him, to calling his name, but she didn't want them to know it so she stayed quiet instead. His arms held away from his body, he walked up to the small group of people, looking their leader dead in the eyes when he said, "Leave her. I'll do it, okay?" There was the trace of a shake in his voice perhaps, but he made up for it with a firm stance, head held high, chin raised, soft sweet Finn looking more badass than he had ever done before. Which was not saying much. Raven almost laughed. But this was not funny at all. This was terrifying.

Feeling her throat close, she stood rooted to the spot, her mind going crazy, but she was unable to speak for what felt like forever and was, in truth, just a few seconds. Then she finally opened her mouth, chin wobbling, and she told them all, "No."

No one listened. The thing was, volunteers didn't exist. So when one finally emerged and gave himself up to the cause, they simply couldn't ignore it. It was the best propaganda they could have ever hoped for. Finn surely knew it, too.

More doors had been opened a crack, nameless faces peeking out, hushed whispers here and there.

Raven looked at Finn with a sadness she felt deep in her bones, and he gave her a look, a smile in return. "It's okay," he mouthed. But it wasn't. It would never be okay. How could they even consider taking him?

"He's not 17 yet!" she called out in a last attempt to thwart his plans.

But he _was_ a volunteer. Something so rare that they simply couldn't deny him. No one volunteered for what almost amounted to a death penalty executed excruciatingly slowly. No one except her best friend and son of the Captain (and everyone knew that in truth, he had been bullied into it, hadn't had a choice, like the rest of them.)

And now there was Finn.

Stupid and too cocky, he didn't even know what he was getting himself into, did he? Because he loved her. Too much. How in the world did she deserve to be loved like that? By someone as sweet and innocent and peaceful as him.

...

Until he wasn't any of those things anymore, until he, too, was damaged, and only that love remained.

* * *

…

* * *

…

The cold metal of the table Finn was lying on felt like ice. He tried to remain calm when it touched the bare skin of his back and arms, tried to keep his breathing in check, but suddenly he didn't feel as cocky and brave anymore as he had tried to make them all believe he was.

Make Raven believe…

The room was way too bright, and yet the people in there with him all seemed to be nothing like shadows. He blinked hard, trying to see, but other than their white uniforms he could only see blurry faces.

When the first shadow moved to strap him down, he had to fight the urge to jump off the table and call it quits, but he knew he couldn't balk now, couldn't let Raven down. If he wanted them to spare her, he needed to do this. To let them do this to him.

There was an abrupt searing pain in his right arm, and when he moved his head to look, he saw them extract a needle from his vein. Probably a sedative, he tried reasoning, because he had to make sense of things or the fear would take over.

What the hell had he been thinking, volunteering for this? He was no damn hero, he wasn't even particularly athletic or good at enduring your usual run of the mill pains, but what he was headed toward… it could very well end his life.

For a girl. He was doing this for a girl because he was stupid and romantic, and hopelessly in love with her. But there was nothing romantic about this anymore.

"He's ready now," someone said, speaking about him as if he wasn't there, because no one talked to him. No soothing kind words, no explanations of what they were doing.

He had the roughest idea. That was all. He had once seen Raven's strange friend from afar. The Captain's son, a dark intimidating looking dude with hollow cheeks and a grim face, and a blazing bandage wrapped around his arm.

Was that going to be him?

His brain didn't want to function. He wasn't sure he could do this, but there was no turning back now. He heard metal strike metal, tasted copper in the air, and then…

Swallowing hard around the lump blocking his airways, he flinched violently against his straps as a large blazing blade appeared by his side, getting lowered all too slowly, until the tip was just half an inch away from the bare skin of his arm.

His breath hitched. No, he wanted to say, or maybe he did say it out loud. Maybe he even yelled it, he wasn't sure and would never know, because right then, a dozen or so hands grabbed him, and the blade connected with his arm.

An explosion of a million tiny shiny pieces seemed to tear his arm straight off, seemed to shoot into him and multiply until a net of lightning coursed through his body, his veins. But when he looked again, half blind with a pain so vast it felt like he would have to die, couldn't survive this, his arm was still there.

 _He_ was still there. Only… he wasn't. He was being obliterated, couldn't think anymore, couldn't see, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't…

As the brightness of the room dulled abruptly, the pain stayed, washing over him, rolling him around until he lost all sense of direction, of self, until finally, an all encompassing darkness replaced the dim light and it was finally over.

…

Except, it wasn't. It had only just begun. And when he came to again, a thick shiny bandage wrapped tightly around his arm, a constant pain pulsing underneath, a tall thin woman stepped in front of him, holding out the blazing sword that would become his, would be part of him from now on.

Why Raven even stayed with him after, when he was completely changed, dulled in light of the blinding sheen of his weapon, he didn't know. Didn't understand. Maybe it was sympathy. Though she assured him it wasn't.

She deserved better, he knew that too, but he wasn't strong enough to let her go, either. Not after… that.

Their love was the only thing keeping him going, keeping him afloat in an ocean of pain. And maybe that was selfish of him. It definitely was. Still, he couldn't let her go. Not yet.

But he began working on it.


	3. Severed

...

~ **Now** ~

…

"Ow!" Gingerly rubbing his upper arm where she had unceremoniously stuck her sharp needle into him, John Murphy turned to glare at Raven Reyes. She was standing just a little behind where he was sitting on a stool in front of her, the glaring light of the white laboratory almost blinding him after the darkness outside. He had come here directly from his shift with the city guard. It was almost time to head to bed, but the young scientist had ordered him back here in order to try out her newest concoction: the latest version of an antidote to the mind bonds his people developed - that he had developed, too, and had hated ever since.

Still, he was done with being poked on an almost daily basis. Getting up, he made sure he let her know as much. "This better be more successful than your last two hundred and fifty seven attempts at curing this, Reyes. That shit hurts!"

"You're a whiner," she informed him, squinting at him while cleaning up her supplies. "That wasn't bad."

"Easy for you to say," he retorted. "You weren't the one getting stuck by a half foot long needle." He glowered at her, slowly getting up. Still holding one hand over the injection site, the stinging feeling slowly subsiding, he raised himself to his full height before sidling over to her a little more. When he was almost close enough to touch her, she finally looked up at him properly, a little exasperated.

Good. He smirked. He kind of really enjoyed teasing her a bit. And she didn't like it when someone got too close to her work station, so what better way to get to her than—

"Murphy, back off!"

"What?!" He raised his hands in mock surrender, suppressing a grin as she glared at him. But he quickly regretted it because of the pain in his arm.

"Geez, the hell did you put in that cocktail, Reyes? This stings worse than the last few times combined." He had to stifle the urge to bend over in pain right in front of her, but he didn't want her to think even less of him, so he toughened it out as best as he could.

He wasn't a fan of needles to begin with, and sometimes he wondered why he had even agreed to all this. To being the guinea pig to a couple of wanna be saviors of humanity that had set out to work on eliminating the mind bonds his people created.

_Because you hate being bonded and having me in your head 24/7._

Making a face, he turned his focus inward. _Emori..._

_Still here to remind you, John._

_I'm guessing that means this was for naught again._

Cursing silently to himself, he noticed Raven's gaze on him. "What?!" he hissed, grabbing his jacket to put it on. He had places to be after all.

He felt Emori's amusement. _Not like your bed is going anywhere without you._

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head as if he could get rid of her that way.

"You know it'll take time…" Raven's voice was way too sympathetic all of a sudden. Understanding. He hated it when Raven freaking Reyes felt sorry for him.

Looking up at her, he realized that his tongue felt too heavy, his throat too closed. No, he really didn't want her sympathy. He liked it better when she glared at him all aloof and angry, always reminding him of what an asshole he really was and that he had tortured her best friend.

Yeah, he couldn't deny that he was a piece of shit.

"Come on, John. Don't get impatient now—"

"Hard not to," he interrupted her before she could say even more, and he felt his own temper shift, unable to stop himself. "It's been almost a year and nothing but prods and pokes. You people suck at this scientist business. Or maybe it's time to accept that this fucking cure is not about to happen."

In an abrupt surge of anger, he kicked the nearest cabinet door hard, denting its metal door - and seriously stubbing his toes. A searing pain shot through his foot, making him swear even louder. "Fuck that," he yelled, earning himself another raised eyebrow, and a reprimand by Emori. Gosh, he was so tired of her in his brain.

Couldn't she shut up already? Couldn't the world shut up?

 _Love you too, John…_ Emori sounded so sober, so collected.

 _How do you even do that?!_ He made a face again, annoyed, but she was too used to his attitude, and his temper. She didn't grace him with a reply. At least not a verbal one, just a wave of contempt and… indifference. Nothing new there, and that sucked, too. It hurt.

His freaking arm hurt, too.

_John?_

He wasn't feeling so hot anymore. Or like joking, or encroaching on Raven's personal space, or…

He placed a hand on the counter as a rogue wave of dizziness made him feel like the ground was beginning to move underneath him.

"Stop the act, Murphy. You're not very good at it, so… just go to bed. Let me know if you notice any changes, okay? And come see me in the morning."

Raven was all business again and he was trying to focus on her voice as his brain began to feel sluggish, his view clouding over. This was probably not good. At least it didn't feel very good, but what did he know.

 _John, I'm_ —

A sudden zapping feeling blinded him like a flash of lightning, making him feel nauseous and disoriented. "Emori?" he tried calling out in his mind, or was it outside? Where was he? What was going on?

Where… was she? A vast emptiness abruptly appeared in his brain, numbing his vision, his thoughts, his world, and then, just like that, the world went… away.

"John!"

Did he really hear Raven call out to him with panic in her voice? Concern? For him? Nah, that wasn't possible. Nothing was possible anymore, there was just this awful awful pain and then…

… nothing.

* * *

…

"Oh crap."

Wild hair fell into Raven's face as she rushed over to where she had seen Murphy slump to the ground as if his strings had been cut.

Suddenly, her heart was in her throat, beating too fast as she knelt down beside him, quickly checking his breathing. A sigh escaped her when she realized he was at least not dead yet, then her brow furrowed as a million thoughts went through her head.

Why had he collapsed? Peeling open one lid, she saw that his pupils still reacted to light. Good. Going on to his arm, she inspected the injection site, and gasped.

"What the…" Her words trailed away as she stared at the sheen that had begun spreading from where she had stuck the needle into the muscle just a little earlier. Of course it wasn't the first time she had seen something similar, but this one… almost as if to mock her, as if to make fun of them all, was distinctly more golden than silver, and it was spreading in thin meandering lines.

"Shit," she hissed, not expecting that. "Shit shit shit. What is this? - Murphy? Can you hear me? Murphy. John."

Gently patting his cheek, still absently holding his arm with her other hand, she tried to cajole him awake, to no avail. Should she run to get Kane? Abby? Whose expertise was this, even?

Maybe she had finally prodded the poor guy one too many times and now his bots were wreaking havoc in an attempt to kill off the constant input of enemy bots? Could that be it?

What if instead of a cure she had just created a deathly weapon to kill all Golden?

Heat had crept up to the nape of her neck and was slowly spreading further until she felt beads of perspiration on her forehead. Suddenly, it was just way too freaking hot.

"Come on, John. Please…"

Frantically, she went over the steps of her latest experiments again. Trying to figure out what she had done differently. Had she added too many of the bots she had extracted from Abby's blood before? Had any of them multiplied, perhaps, even though she had been so sure they weren't able to do that?

But then, what did she know about nanorobotics? Awfully little. No, that was an exaggeration. She knew nothing about it. Freaking nothing. She should have never meddled with this.

Oh gosh, now she was in over her head and maybe this kid in front of her - as obnoxious and tiring as he was - might die because of her. Die.

"John, can you try and open your eyes for me? Please. Please…" She wasn't even aware of how desperate her pleas sounded, but the feeling was spreading inside of her quickly.

She had to get help. Maybe Abby—

Abruptly, Raven tried to stand up, absently looking at her hand on Murphy's arm as she now let go of him, and froze.

More puzzled than shocked or scared, she held out her hand, then brought it close to her eyes. In her rush to get to him, she had forgotten to put her usual gloves on, and yet it looked like she was wearing one now, her fingers, her palm, the back of her hand all glistening with a soft golden hue. Her heartbeat accelerating, she stared at it now, her body already worrying while her mind didn't seem to want to comprehend.

This was probably not a good thing.

A soft rap on the door made her turn her head toward it in time to see Finn appear.

"Hey, Ray," he began, then, as she just stared at him, wide eyed and paralyzed, his gaze went from her face to her hand and Murphy on the floor, and he came racing toward her.

"Shit, what happened?!" He looked so concerned…

"I don't know," she said softly, staring at him, trying to smile when he moved to touch her arm, and abruptly her senses whooshed back and she pulled away. "Don't," she hissed, making him flinch away, and with an apologetic expression she explained, "I don't want this to infect you, too."

"Infect me?" His gaze was blank, a frown creasing his brow as he tried to process her words and she sighed. Yet again she was worried about him. How _he_ was dealing. Even now, when she should probably be worried about herself more, and especially Murphy, who was still lying there, unconscious and with his arm slowly growing golden.

Shaking her hair out of her face, her ponytail onto her back, she looked from him to John, bending down until she could feel his breath against her face.

"We don't know what this is, and whether it could spread to someone else, too. - Could you bring me my gloves? Second drawer, right hand cabinet." She nodded over the roughly as Finn got up swiftly, doing as she had asked.

"Where?"

Raven heard him rummaging as she cradled her arm, and shooting Finn a quick glance, she redirected. "Not that one. Over by the microscope. Sorry…" She realized just then that she hadn't been very clear. There were a hundred cabinets down here and Finn didn't exactly come down a lot. He was not Murphy, who had begun to quietly assist her on occasion. Just to kill some time, and get on her nerves, of course…

When he came back with the gloves, she nodded for him to just throw them to her, then put them on quickly, beginning to gently pat down Murphy, then pushing him into a sideways position. It was a lot more strenuous than she had hoped. The man was heavy.

"What should I do?"

Raven scoffed. Sometimes she really wished Finn of old was back. The Finn she had met way back when. At the academy. But that Finn had died at the mining site. No, he had never truly come back from being turned into an Eternal, and now she was here and would have needed someone to be strong for her, but it couldn't be him.

For Finn _she_ had to be strong.

For Murphy, too.

"Go get Abby," she therefore said amid her ministrations, and when she looked up, she saw Finn's hands in fists, an inner battle roaring inside of him that she had to pull him out of or—

"Finn. Go."

He jerked his head, his gaze finding hers again before he looked down on John. "You'll be alright here?"

"Fine. As long as you get Abby. If you see Kane, bring him too."

Nodding, he finally turned around and jogged out the door, leaving Raven to deal with this alone.

"Come on, John," she cajoled again, not expecting an answer, but suddenly his eyes peeled open, flickered, then he stared at her and shot upright so quickly that she toppled backwards with a gasp.

"Geez, Murphy, you scared the hell out of me! You alright?" She tilted her head, frowning at him with a mixture of shock and wonder as he stared at her a little vacantly before his gaze wandered to her hand on his shoulder.

"The hell was that?" His voice was a rasp, but in the quiet of the laboratory it still felt loud, and raw. Raven felt the steady beat of his heart in a vein on his neck, imagined it so vividly as if she could really see the pulse move under the skin, could see the blood being pumped through his body, probably mixing more and more with the liquid she had injected him with minutes ago. It felt so much longer. Had it really only been minutes?

Had Finn really been down here?

The stakkato of Murphy's heart grew in intensity, the strange images in her mind making Raven nauseous, before she quickly pulled her hand away and the feeling stopped.

John shrank away from her as if she had stung him, and their gazes met.

"You collapsed," she eventually explained, trying to sound calm, then nodded toward his upper arm, watching as he followed her gesture, his eyes widening when he saw it.

"Reyes," he said way too calmly, licking his lips as he carefully turned his arm a little, staring at it. "Please tell me you have an idea what this is."

She pulled at her lip with her teeth, shrugging self-consciously. "I'm sorry," she breathed, "this is… I have no idea what's going on…"

His nostrils flared, and she could see it work in him, could see him get ready to explode at her, and it made a ripple of goosebumps rush over her body in an uncomfortable sensation. For some odd reason the thought of John Murphy getting angry at her, truly and deservedly angry, was not a good one at all.

"If it's any consolation," she blurted out, pulling at her left glove with her right to show him her hand, "I'm in the same boat as you." And she presented him with her slightly shimmering hand, looking up at him sideways, waiting for a reaction.

A soft chuckle escaped him as he averted his gaze, rubbing a palm over his eyes. Maybe he sounded disbelieving, maybe desperate, she wasn't sure. But when he spoke again, it was without the anger she had seen brewing in him before.

"Better get on that, Reyes. A Silveren with a golden hand… that sounds like a really shitty version of one of those songs you guys like so much. - Oh, and since you didn't ask yet: no, it didn't work. Emori is still in here. Or… she's back, I should say. She was gone for a short bit there. Then again, going by what you said, I guess so was I. So... hard to say, but whatever this is, it may very well be that you're actually slowly getting somewhere with all this. Or we're both just damaged goods now."

He grinned at her grimly, then slowly moved to get up off the ground completely, even daring to offer her a hand once he was up.

And all Raven could do was take it and let him lift her up.

Damaged goods...

...

What the hell was she supposed to do now?


	4. New missions

…

Clarke had zoned out. Staring off to the side, her gaze blurry and turned inward, her mind was awhirl with information, too much to stay in the moment.

She had gotten the news that very morning: Her best friend Wells… was dead. The man who had betrayed her, who had then come back from reprogramming to save her a second time, was dead.

Those cheesy dreams she had had where she busted him out of lock up before they tried to reprogram him yet again, where he became her son's - or maybe it was a daughter - kind uncle Wells, always playing around, always bringing a stick figure or an apple or some other small gift. Like he had once done for Clarke in the past. All of those had been stupid dreams, nothing more. He was dead.

And the world was at the verge of a new war. They hadn't even destroyed a quarter of the Eternal mining sites yet. They hadn't figured out how to decipher the technology behind the bonds. Now the Neutral Zoners were going rogue, all negotiations with Nyko - their emissary - fruitless.

 _Clarke_.

She startled at hearing Bellamy, feeling him lightly nudge her mentally, and she tried to smile for his sake, but it didn't feel genuine at all. Because it wasn't. She didn't feel like smiling, and of course he knew it.

 _Wanna go meet up with your mom? I can finish this up. We're pretty much done anyways. I'll fill you in later_ , he suggested, smiling, but she made a face, rolling her eyes. Not at him, however, just at the prospect of having to defend herself in front of her mom.

It had been two months since she had found out she was pregnant, a month since she had told Abby, and ever since then, her mom adamantly tried to keep Clarke from going out there and doing her job.

"You're pregnant, Clarke," she would say at least ten times a day, and it annoyed the hell out of her. She was not invalid. She was always careful. She had already stepped away from the more dangerous missions, wasn't going out to the mining sites anymore, but she was not going to keep her life on hold until this baby was born.

People relied on her. They needed her. She only had to look out the city walls, where a large camp of refugees had appeared, its uprooted inhabitants only slowly learning to live with their new situation, while she and Bellamy were constantly trying to negotiate with the Golden command over a peaceful solution for everyone.

But the Silveren refugees were not allowed in the city. The guard had been multiplied, the city been turned into a fortress, and it was hard to even get supplies, food, water to the people outside its premises.

Now Abby wanted to keep Clarke locked away in Kane's mansion, treating her like a damn child again and she simply—

 _She's trying to look out for you, is all…_ Bellamy tried not to grin at her, but his still obvious amusement over her grumpy mood was not helping matters. Huffing, she had to admit that he was right, though, and that she was probably overreacting. The news about Wells didn't help.

With a sigh, she slowly pushed herself up off her chair, ready to excuse herself and walk over to the city to do the inevitable, when the opening flap to the large tent they had sat in L suddenly flew open and a young man stormed in that she remembered from the settlement. One of Raven's men.

"Nate—" Bellamy began, but the man didn't let him finish.

"Sorry, Captain son," he blurted, face flushed, chest heaving. He must have run here, Clarke thought, forcing herself to stay calm and not allow a blossoming panic to surface. "One of the teams came back from the Neutral Zone saying that Nyko is on his way to the site at the Black Ruins. They're already past the forests to the north and…"

The next words got drowned out by a sudden erupting clamor all around them. Clarke closed her eyes, trying to take a deep breath, listening to her heart beating frantically. The Black Ruins were their next mission. One of the smaller mining sites, and in the middle of the Neutral Zone. An exclave. A secret. Well hidden.

But apparently still not hidden well enough. A team had been preparing to go out there and take it out before the Zoners would get wind of its existence, and now it was too late.

 _Gonna be a freaking race against time now_ , Bellamy told her and she almost nodded before catching herself. _Fuck_.

_We need to send our team ASAP. Think we can get ready in an hour?_

_You're not coming, Clarke._

Suddenly, he stood right before her, grabbing her arm, making her glare at him, even though she knew he didn't mean to patronize her. He was just worried. About her. Their baby…

Pregnant women didn't go to war. Not like that. Not when it was this dangerous.

But Clarke was no freaking princess. She didn't just stay at home and cooked and waited. She also didn't make things harder by being stupid and stubborn…

 _Your words. Not mine._ Bellamy looked at her mildy, briefly kissing her forehead before they nodded at each other, Clarke with a sigh.

"Go," she told him. “Get ready. Get the team ready. I'll meet you at the gate before you head out."

With that, she turned around and stormed out the tent to race over to the mansion, to get Kane. He'd have to come on that trip. If she couldn't, she needed to make sure someone else was there to assist Bellamy. Someone she could trust knew what they were doing. And that meant him.

At least their link would allow her to stay in touch with Bellamy through it all… She had grown so dependent on their connection, on their bond that she didn't even know what she would do without it anymore.

But this… this was becoming more than a small uprising, and she was scared. If Kane didn't get his friend - or whatever he was - reined in again, a real war was going to break out again soon.

She had grown up in one, it had been her normal, and yet the prospect of this new war was terrifying. That the Neutral Zone was suddenly not neutral anymore but ready to fight their own fights, turned everything upside down. And there was something truly worrisome about that. At least with the old war they had known what to expect. The enemy had been the same one for decades.

Now the old war was not even quite finished, peace rather fragile, and this new component made it all even more unpredictable. And Clarke was in the middle of it all, pregnant to boot. This was not exactly the greatest time to have a baby… She scoffed to herself as she made her way through the camp and out, heading toward the city gates as fast as she could. She needed to hurry.

* * *

...

When she finally found her mom, Abby was in the middle of examining Murphy - and Raven - down in the lab, an apprehensive looking Kane standing not far away, fidgeting with the prominent microscope.

"What's going on?" Clarke frowned at them all and Raven shrugged awkwardly before showing her her hand that looked… like it was slightly shiny? Abruptly, Clarke stepped forward, ready to touch, but it was Abby, who pulled her away with a shake of her head.

"Clarke, don't." She gave her daughter a pointed stare before explaining, "It's gotten a lot better already, the sheen is slowly subsiding, but it looks like our latest concoction for a cure has definitely caused more of a reaction than anything before."

"Yeah, and hurts like a bitch," Murphy piped up as Clarke shot him a quick glance. Good, she thought, that man deserved some more pain for what he had done to Bellamy, orders or not. To her, he was still very much the torturer he had been for the General and she wasn't ready yet to forgive him, even if they did have him to thank for the fact that they were all here now.

And she grudgingly appreciated his willingness to be their test subject.

Still.

 _Can't let it go, huh?_ Bellamy felt soothing in her mind and she had to suppress a smile.

_What he did…_

_I know. We don't need to like him. At least he's trying..._

Clarke grimaced. That might have been true, but it wasn't enough. Not yet. _Let's keep an eye on him,_ she told Bellamy, then focused on the people in the room with her, leaving him to figure out the details of the mission to stop Nyko.

"Well," Abby continued with an eye roll in Clarke's general direction that made her stifle a laugh, "we don't know whether it's still contagious so I'd rather not risk anyone else coming in contact with this." She turned to Raven, who was sitting on a stool as Kane squinted at her hand resting on the counter.

"I took a sample," he informed the room at large, before looking at Raven with a smile. "Looking much better already," he said, "I think the bots are mostly on the surface. I'll keep irrigating it a bit more and then you should be good to go—"

"Let's still put them both in quarantine," Abby interrupted him, "I don't want even more rogue nanobots to be part of the equation. We have enough to deal with as it is."

Clarke was still standing around feeling somewhat useless, when she noticed something. "Where's Emori?"

Murphy jerked his head, grinning briefly before tapping his head. "Still here. Aaaand…" The door opened right then and he finished, "Here," just as the girl walked into the room behind Clarke, startling slightly at seeing her there.

"Clarke?"

Clarke waved an arm awkwardly, then scanned the room for a chair or stool to sit on. The perks of pregnancy were really no perks at all. Even standing was draining - and she was barely a few months into the whole adventure…

Emori went over to Murphy, stopping short before she could quite reach him because he shook his head at her. Shoulder sagging, she came to stand not far from where Clarke now sat, staring at the soft shimmer coming from his arm.

"Is this gonna stay? Coz you almost look like a bad caricature of an Eternal now, John."

She chuckled lightly as he rolled his eyes at her, clearly not amused. Clarke couldn't even blame him.

Forcing herself not to listen as the two began bickering back and forth, she turned to Abby and Raven, clearing her throat.

"Did you anticipate this could happen?"

"What do you think?" Raven huffed, reining her sarcasm in before it could turn more venomous. "I'm sorry," she allowed, sighing. "No. We did not anticipate this happening. Kane's working theory is that Murphy's blood stream was over saturated with bots and the things simply accumulated at the incision site, spreading over to me when I touched him."

Clarke frowned, not happy with the explanation at all. "Is that all?"

"Well…," Raven stammered, "He passed out when I first injected him. Then said that Emori had been gone for a bit before that…"

"Emori?" Abby called out to the girl for confirmation and she nodded.

"Couldn't feel him, either. It was both scary and amazing at the same time…"

She exchanged a glance with her bond partner, who stayed surprisingly quiet. No quip, no snarky comment.

"A partial success then?" Clarke asked, and Raven shrugged. But it was Kane who replied with a smile.

"I'd say yes," he said, patting Raven's shoulder, making the girl side eye him as she shrank away from him a little. It was slightly comical to watch, but Clarke forced herself to remain stoic. "The bots can be tampered all right. Now we know that the connection between two Bonded can indeed be broken without either of them dying. This is a pretty big precedent. We can work with that."

"Can we?" Raven asked, crossing her arms, looking down on her arm briefly. The sheen was almost gone now, and her gaze met Clarke's when she looked back up, something unspoken passing between them. Concern, perhaps, Clarke wasn't even sure.

 _Is Finn with you guys?_ Bellamy suddenly piped up, and rather than replying to him, she communicated what she saw, sending him a mental image of the room, Abby tending to Murphy, Raven now slowly getting up, still keeping a rather anxious seeming Finn at a distance. Kane now peeking over Abby's shoulder as she quietly talked to her patient.

_Can you send him over? Indra thinks he should come on this mission too._

_Finn_ _?!_ Clarke's brow furrowed. Why would Indra want Finn of all people on that mission? He hadn't gone on any of their trips ever since he had fought with them at Aurora's mining site. Raven wouldn't let him, saying he was too damaged, a claim that Abby had supported by saying he had suffered severe PTSD and was probably best kept away from any active fighting.

No one had asked _him_ , but now that Clarke looked at him a little more closely - something she hadn't done in quite a while, she could see why Raven was so careful with him. He looked harsher these days, sunken cheeks and dark eyes. The softness she had once seen in him, which had made him look more like a boy than a man, had completely vanished, and yet there was a new vulnerability in him that seemed to contradict all that.

And Indra wanted him on this most dangerous mission to date?

 _She thinks we need a success story,_ Bellamy tried other explain what he didn't seem to understand himself _._ Clarke could almost see him shrug dismissively _. Of all the Eternals, he and I were the first ones completely healed._

 _That's why…_ Clarke understood instantly. Indra was smart. Taking Finn alongside Bellamy would show their troops that change was possible. That Bellamy wasn't just a fluke. The warrior woman didn't shy away from parading around their success if it meant that people were more willing to fight for this change.

 _You think it's a good idea?_ she asked, because she still wasn't convinced it was, and she could feel that Bellamy agreed.

 _Raven_ _will probably not be happy…_ His non-answer told her that he was willing to try, trusting that Indra knew what the troops really needed. The warrior woman did have a good ear for them all, there was no denying that…

_I'll send him over, then..._

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to soak up Bellamy's presence for just a moment longer before she returned to the outside world, zoning in on a yet unsuspecting Finn.

"Bellamy said we might have to head out today?" Kane abruptly asked, startling Clarke, and she nodded at him briefly, wondering whether he, too, could read minds, before looking over at Finn again.

"Yeah," she allowed, "actually, they'll leave in an hour already—"

"An hour?!" The voices overlapped as everyone was shocked at the news, but all Clarke could do was shrug and reiterate quickly what Nate had told them before.

"Nyko," Kane softly hissed, "that son of a bitch…"

Abby was squinting at him, looking annoyed, but he merely shrugged. "I told you I tried talking to him."

"Clearly not very successfully…"

Clarke stood up, wiping a hand over her forehead. "Well," she began, trying to think of a good way to bring this up and blanking. "Why don't you and Raven keep working on the treatment, mom. And Kane… you need to pack. Finn."

He looked at her out of dark eyes, raising his chin slightly, still a soldier, still knowing when he heard an order coming.

"Yeah?"

"You too. Indra wants you to be part of her team."

He nodded, moving to leave when Raven roughly grabbed his arm, effectively pulling him back.

"She what?! Abso-freaking-lutely not!"

"Raven…" Clarke tried to catch her gaze, but the girl shook her head, getting up and stomping toward the door.

"Quarantine, Raven." Abby's voice brokered no argument, and yet the girl merely glared at her, not listening.

"Just gimme a minute, doc. I need to have a word with Indra - or better yet, with her bestie Octavia, or why not Bellamy. He needs to keep that sister of his in check or—"

"Don't, Ray…" It was Finn who held her back now, shaking his head slightly at her as he did. Clarke could see the fight in the other girl, the anger bubbling, but for some strange reason, Raven Reyes listened to this kid in front of her now as he calmly whispered something only for her to hear. She listened like she always had, and Clarke might not have understood it, but it was undeniable that these two shared a strange, a deep relationship.

And just like that, Raven deflated, and with a soft kiss on her forehead, Finn went on his way.

 _Indra_ _better be right about this being a good idea, or Raven won't be the only one coming for her…_ she told Bellamy and felt him agree.

 _I_ _know_.

…


	5. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t mind me, just having a bit of fun posting this...

…

The air outside was crisp, especially for a summer day. But summer hadn't had an easy time this year, not unlike Finn.

Sniffing, he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand as he made his way out of the city and toward the camp right outside its premises. A sense of doom had begun to creep into him as soon as he had stepped foot out of Kane's house and onto the pavement in front of it. He hadn't left the building much in the last few months, and he knew that while Raven didn't say anything, and nobody else did either, they all looked at him sideways, worried and concerned, and like he was somehow damaged now. Which he guessed he was.

Pressing his lips together, he forced himself to continue on his way, past staring inhabitants, then the guards. People shot him sideways glances, others openly changed the side they were walking on, not trusting the fragile peace they had only recently established. It was as if everyone could sense he was a Silveren, that he didn't belong here. That he used to be an Eternal…

Why Indra - who barely even knew him - thought it was a good idea he joined their newest mission was a mystery to him. But then again, she probably had no clue just how screwed up he was.

Once he had made it past the city walls, he tried to take a deep breath to calm himself. There was something about the camp that he just didn't like. There were people there… people that had worked with those he had killed at the mining site.

Subconsciously rubbing his arm where a scar was still hidden under his sleeve, he made himself continue on his way, straight into the camp. No stopping. The ground was damp and muddy from the latest heavy rains and he made a face as he saw the dirt spatter his boots and pants.

There was no question where he needed to go. While he had rarely been out here, he knew the tent in which they usually held their meetings all too well. Situated right at the center, it was Clarke's and Bellamy's home of sorts, and the place from which they pretty much ruled the camp, their arms stretching out much farther than that these days.

How they even managed that was a mystery to Finn: looking out for these people, being there for them, someone to look up to. He could have never done the same. People… creeped him out these days. It was already hard enough to deal with John Murphy's and Abby Griffin's constant presence down in the labs when he came to visit Raven.

When he eventually arrived at the tent, he stopped in his tracks just a few feet away from the entrance, steeling himself as best as he could. He had no idea who was even in there, though he figured it would include Indra, Bellamy, probably his sister and her boyfriend too, who never left her side. And maybe a handful of others, some of the almost healed Eternals perhaps as they would have the best combat experiences.

And of course some of the Golden that represented their new allies - technically still half enemies. If it weren't for the threat coming from the Neutral Zone, they would have probably long forced the Silveren refugees out.

Abruptly, the tent flap opened, and an irate looking Octavia stormed out and past him with a fiery glare. He took a deep breath, taking this as his cue, when he heard her call out his name, and he turned around to meet her gaze where she had stopped just a little away, kicking angrily at the dirty ground.

"Hope you're ready to stop the moping, former Eternal. Indra seems to think you can bring something to the table and I'd hate for her to find out that one of ours is actually just a whiny wuss."

Scoffing, he rolled his eyes. He probably deserved it, her little outbreak, and he wasn't going to argue with her now, even though he felt a sudden annoyance rise in him.

What the hell did she know about anything? About him? Nothing. If she wanted to lay into someone for moping, she could do that with her stupid brother. Besides...

"It wasn't my idea," he muttered, deflating quickly instead of pursuing his anger, because it simply wasn’t worth it. Lowering his head, he turned around with a weary shrug. He didn't expect her to say more, so when she muttered uncharacteristically softly, "I know," he shot her another glance, frowning when he noticed a resigned half smile on her face.

"Just…" Octavia sighed. "I hope she won't regret this…"

"Yeah," he allowed, "that makes two of us." Then he tapped his head by way of greeting and with a deep intake of breath walked into the tent.

…

It was stifling in there. Too dark. He felt his throat close, his chest tighten, and he tried to tell himself that there was no reason to freak out. But there were at least fifteen people in there. Fifteen. And half of them he had seen back at the mining site.

"Finn, good, you're here." Bellamy pulled him closer, oblivious to the fact that he was already struggling not to run before they had even left for anywhere, and Finn tried to raise is chin and look confident. He could do this, right? Like he had seemed like he knew what he was doing when he had made sure Raven wasn't taken away to be turned into an Eternal…

"I need you on my team," Indra, who had been hidden in the shadows before, her dark skin almost like a camouflage, stepped a little closer, making him take an involuntary step back. Closing his eyes briefly, he tried to breathe. To stay calm.

"Okay."

She shot him a glance, suddenly grinning. "You're not even asking why?"

"I'm sure you have your reasons." He shrugged dismissively, noticing by some of the reactions that he must have come across way more cocky than he felt. His neck began prickling uncomfortably and he rubbed over it with one hand, trying to look behind him to check that the exit was still right there.

Indra stared at him with her dark eyes, her expression not allowing any interpretation of her thoughts or feelings and he had to fight the urge to just balk or at the very least ask her what the hell she wanted with him. Because of course she wasn't volunteering that information.

"Alright," Bellamy said when Indra remained cryptically silent, steering them all back to what they must have been discussing beforehand.

Finn briefly wondered what had made Octavia run out, but knew better than to ask any questions.

"Let's get packed up and meet at the outer perimeter in thirty. Finn, a word?"

Swallowing, he nodded, running a hand through his hair to occupy his damn hands. Somehow, he felt awfully displaced, and the stares of the other people in the room didn't help at all. He had no clue what Bellamy was going to talk to him about, though he hoped it was nothing more than to fill him in on why exactly he was here and what kind of mission this really was.

When everyone had left, Indra not without giving him a strange look that made his hair stand on end, Bellamy finally nodded over to a desk sitting against the side of the tent.

"I know this is asking a lot, after everything that happened at Aurora's mining site," he said, and Finn clenched his teeth, hands balling into fists where he had shoved them in his pockets. Bellamy had his own awful memories, after all his mother had died back then, Finn knew that, but he couldn't understand how the guy still seemed to be so put together. Maybe it was Clarke in his head, their bond.

Though Finn had a kind of bond of his own. If not a mind bond. Raven was… special. She was what kept him going.

When he saw Bellamy frown at him with a question in his face, he realized that he must have zoned out, that the man was waiting for some kind of answer.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You can opt out of going. It's not like Indra holds power over our troops. Though she did volunteer to help us sort this business with Nyko out and try to keep peace in the Neutral Zone, so I'd like to honor her input and requests. But if you'd rather stay behind—"

"Nah, I'm…" He faltered, suddenly feeling worse than before. Bellamy thought he was a nutcase, didn't he? Did everyone see it that way? Was he fragile Finn now, the broken guy that needed to be handled with care?

He hated that image. Didn't want it. Straightening even more, he looked at Bellamy head on when he replied, hoping his voice sounded firm and full of conviction. "I'm ready to help. Tell me what you need me to do."

Bellamy sighed, seeming strangely relieved. "This mission," he said, "I don't know if Clarke had a chance to fill you in yet?"

Finn shook his head, and Bellamy nodded. "Well, our recon team spotted a lot of movement close to the mining site at the Black Ruins. After what Kane said about Nyko and his plan to arm the Neutral Zone, we believe this is his best chance, and that he's gonna take it. If they get to the site before we do… I don't think I need to continue…"

Part of Finn wanted him to, needed him to spell it out so he could understand, but of course Bellamy was right. There was only one scenario. Nyko's people would take over the site. Would start mining Eternal Metal, would continue trying to create their own Eternal soldiers. A soft shiver ran through his body at the thought, but he had himself under control again quickly.

"We leave in thirty?"

Bellamy nodded again. "And I'd like you there, because you're one of the few that has seen the destruction of a site similar in size to the one we're headed to. You've met Nyko, too. And you know how to fight Eternals, if it comes to it."

"Yuh. - Let me just… say goodbye to Raven and then I'll meet you."

The other man patted his shoulder briefly, giving him a grim if honest smile. "You do that. She'll probably want my head for this."

A chuckle escaped Finn. "You know her," he said, and Bellamy rolled his eyes in agreement.

"Oh yeah…"

* * *

…

 _You alright?_ Clarke's presence was like a breath of fresh air. Bellamy only wished he could be here with him, really here, not just in his head. He wanted to be able to touch her, feel her, watch her as she undressed and he could see the smallest bump where only her flat stomach had been before.

_You'd like that, wouldn't you?_

He smiled to himself before growing sober again.

 _I hope this mission isn't gonna take too long. I don't know what to do without you there…_ Admitting that still felt strange, even though they had shared way more intimate things, memories, feelings with each other.

 _I already miss you_ , she said, and he wasn't quite sure whether the aching yearning was hers or his anymore.

_I'll make my way over to you in a minute. Can't leave without saying goodbye… - Besides, I have a feeling that Raven will want a word with me, or rip my head off, and I better clear the air._

_So you're really bringing Finn?_

_Yup._

_You think it's a good idea?_

He was too tired to argue about it or make up his mind about Finn. _Can we just not waste our last few minutes together talking about that?_

There was a mix of annoyance and amusement on her side. He knew that she wanted to be part of this all, the discussions, the planning. She was not one to just idly sit by while he and the others set out to try and prevent a disaster from happening. But while it hadn't been him to suggest she stay behind he couldn't deny that he was kind of glad.

At least that way she was out of harm's way. And knowing she was here, with her mom, and close to all the amenities of Kane's fancy home wasn't such a bad thing, either. If anything was the matter with Clarke or the baby, Abby would be able to get right on that.

 _And who will make sure_ you're _okay?_

He smiled to himself, then hurried to get to her one last time before the big trip. Time was running away with him, and he really wasn't going to leave without a goodbye.

_A little trust, princess. I can take care of myself._

_Is that so?_

_If not, I'm sure you'll be in my head to keep me on my toes._

He could practically feel her eyeroll, but she didn't say anything else, and he didn't like that either.

It was going to be a long time away from her.

* * *

…

They left soon after, and Clarke felt her heart sink at standing there watching them go. A large group of their people when it should have been just a small endeavor, a secret mission. But now Nyko's threat had surfaced and they couldn't just sneak in anymore and destroy the mining site.

Now they were truly on the verge of war.

Kissing Bellamy a last time, feeling his lips on hers, his arms around her, she had wanted to never let go. But now he was riding off, leading their troops into what could very well become a battle. And she was not by his side.

Eventually, they were nothing more than a smudge against the horizon. She had waited so long, not caring how desperate it probably looked, but now it was time to head back inside, where Raven was probably already busy staring at slide after slide of samples, the microscope her new best friend.

Clarke wished she had something to occupy herself with. Something other than the people in the camp that always wanted something from her.

"Clarke. There you are. A word?"

Rolling her eyes, she huffed in annoyance as she saw Titus appear by her side. She had barely made it past the first row of tents when the man had spotted her. Jogging toward her, he had caught up in seconds, and gone was her hope to just sneak into her tent for a few moments to herself.

"What is it, Titus? Can it wait till—"

"I'm afraid not." He paused to look at her, and she couldn't help but accelerate a little, almost hoping she could at least make this a bit harder for him. There was something about the man she simply didn't like. Bald and strangely shiny, he stuck out among the people of the camp. His reddish tinged long coat only aided in that impression, and it seemed to be exactly what he was going for.

After Aurora's death, he had hoped to be of more importance to the people, Clarke knew that just from interacting with him, and she could feel his almost open hostility toward her, but especially Bellamy, the Captain's son. He hated how their people had taken to him, to them, and was constantly trying to advise against anything they suggested or decided.

"People are worried about a war, Clarke."

"We're trying to prevent that. It's why Bellamy went out there—"

"No." He didn't even let her finish, and she sighed, resigning herself to just hearing him out. "They say Kane is in cahoots with the leader of the Neutral Zoners. Nyko."

In cahoots… Clarke wanted to roll her eyes, but forced herself to remain civil. If she was being honest, she couldn't completely blame him or the people he pretended to speak for. She had been worried about Kane's relationship with Nyko, too.

Ever since her mom had found out that the two men had once run a business together, had even made the plan to arm the Neutral Zone together, Clarke had felt worried that Kane could have been playing them all along.

What if he was going to turn his back on them all when it most counted?

 _We're keeping an eye on him at all times_ , Bellamy assured her, and she couldn't help but wonder whether it had been smart to let the man go on their mission to begin with.

What if something happened and he switched sides? Or got killed? There were still so many mining sites to be taken care of, people to be healed; would they even manage all that without him there?

Titus loudly cleared his throat, jolting her back rather unceremoniously. With a soft frown, she returned her attention to him. But the way he looked at her, she must have missed what he had said.

"I'm sorry," she said, "What was that?"

With an exaggerated huff, he started over. "I said, our people want to know what's going on, and how exactly Bellamy is trying to handle the situation with Nyko. They're ready to call it quits. To leave the camp. No one wants to stay in this… this place for longer than necessary and with their presumed new leader gone, they're becoming restless."

So that was the real problem. Clarke nodded. She could see why Titus brought it up. He was pretending to be a follower, but deep down, she knew she would have to look out for him. Chances were that he had been the one to worry the people in the camp to begin with, to stir their fears, bring up their wants and needs.

It was easy enough. Looking around, she saw the muddy ground, the tents strewn across in a half methodical way. The people needed more than this place could offer them. They had lost everything, had given up everything. For this?

Gnawing on her lip, she tried to think. She needed to come up with something, and quickly so, or this whole place would soon be no more, and the people living as her neighbors… who knew whether they would even stay on their side or join Nyko with his promise of something new. Something that could only be better than what they had now.

"I'll talk to them," she said out loud, waving a hand as if she could swat him away like a fly.

Gruffly, he nodded, opening his mouth as if to say something else, but she didn't wait. Her tent was calling to her, or maybe her body was calling for it, all she knew was that she needed to get away, and so she did.


	6. Turn for the worse

…

[ **Two years ago…]**

John Murphy was bored and yawned exaggeratedly. Sitting in the last row of the classroom, he let his chair sway at a dangerous level with his legs up on the table, feeling quite comfortably hidden behind the broad back of his fellow student right in front of him.

Up front, instructor Pike's sonorous voice was droning on about their time having come, of going out into the world to do good and blah blah blah. John simply couldn't focus anymore. His eyes were heavy, his mind traveling elsewhere.

Preparation was a waste of his time and he couldn't for the life of him see why people even bothered. He would never become part of a mind-bond, he was pretty certain of it. John Murphy, the sickly kid that almost died when he was just a boy? The scrawny child that no one liked and that no one looked at twice because he simply wasn't much to look at, was he? He clenched his jaw at the unbidden thoughts, forcing himself to keep his self hatred at a minimum.

"Murphy!" A fist banged on his table so loudly he almost toppled out of his chair as his legs snapped back on the ground and he sat up to stare at an angry looking Pike. "Are we boring you?"

John swallowed, pasting a fake smile onto his face when he replied with a raise of his eyebrows. "Yeah, kinda, actually…"

Pike's flat hand thumped on his desk, and the man glared at him with an angry grin. "Well, in that case, why don't you lead today's class of Preparation, Mr. Murphy? Make it a little more interesting for all of us."

They both smirked at each other, both thinking triumph was on their side, but John was pretty sure his triumph trumped that of the old man. With a cocky head jerk, hands placed on his desk, he stood up to casually swagger to the front of the room, facing his classmates.

"Alright," he began, plopping down on Pike's desk, studying his feet for a long moment. "Where were we? - Right. The Silveren are assholes, the Golden not much better. We've been fighting each other for what seems like an eternity, both of us mostly treating our own kind like shit. The Silveren torment a decent percentage of their own people with the Eternal tech, which those kindly pay forward by wounding and killing an even bigger number of our people. To make it worse, command does everything to make our lives worse by forcing us into mind-bonds that basically make us go crazy—"

"Enough!" Pike yelled, his face an angered mask. But he was still standing off to the side, far enough away for John to continue and shoot the man a nasty grin.

"They tell us it's an honor and that it feels beautiful, but, think about it: do you really have thoughts pure enough and good enough to share them with some random stranger 24/7?"

He didn't get to finish his little speech.

Abruptly, Pike had lunged forward and practically began manhandling him out the door. He was vaguely aware of a few of his fellows complaining about Pike's treatment of him. He also heard a few of them talk about the bonds as if they suddenly saw them in a new light.

Good. He got to warn them, got to tell them what he really thought. He would probably pay for it by getting locked up as a traitor, but he honestly didn't even care. He had wanted to tell someone how fucked up this all was, and now he had.

He was ready to deal with the consequences. It wasn't like life had ever had anything good for him in store anyways. He wasn't going to miss out much.

…

It turned out, however, that that wasn't at all how his life continued.

John Murphy was twenty years old, biding his time in lock up, feeling a bit lost and a bit smug, because he knew he wasn't going to have to try out for a bond now. He was a traitor after all, and traitors didn't get sent to the tryouts.

He wasn't loyal, or strong or handsome or any of those other traits the Bonded generally seemed to display, either, so they wouldn't be tempted to make an exception.

But then, one day, he woke up with a splitting migraine and the next thing he knew, his mind was soaring out of him in a strange meandering band and with a searing zap, it connected to a vastness of thoughts and emotions all so foreign and bizarre that he simply didn't know what to make of them.

And just like that, he became bonded, without a tryout, without anyone else there to guide him, and his government decided to let him go after all. Because of course they couldn't let his new honorable "skill"go to waste behind bars...

* * *

...

~ **Now** ~

…

The Black Ruins finally appeared in front of them on the third day. Three long days, and Octavia was glad that at least Lincoln was with her, making the whole trip a little more bearable.

In contrast to the rest of them, she didn't mind sleeping under the bare sky, but the rain that had ruined most of summer was getting to her, too, and she wasn't the only one that had developed a nasty cold just a few hours into their trip.

Stifling a sneeze, she turned to her brother, who was riding beside her now, both their horses slowly coming to a stop as they neared a gap in the countryside that allowed a view of the ruins that were just as black as their name suggested.

"Fitting name," Kane piped up behind them, and Octavia rolled her eyes at Bell. The man was incredibly cheesy at times.

Both ignoring their companion, the siblings exchanged a glance as Bellamy abruptly motioned for them all to be quiet. Pointing, he indicated a movement not far from where they were.

Troops. The Neutral Zoners.

"Nyko?" she mouthed, and looked from Bellamy to Kane, who nodded.

"Looks like him."

"How many people are that?" Octavia felt a shiver creep up the small of her back, spreading to her limbs from there. She had been so sure of herself before, so ready to show that bastard he couldn't mess with them, but now… she wasn't that confident anymore.

They had come with two hundred people. But Nyko had brought what looked like a thousand. Or more…

The thing was, Octavia Blake felt almost a little betrayed. She had been on the side of the Neutral Zone for almost as long as she could remember. It had been her safe haven. Then, when she had joined the military despite everything, trying to follow in Bellamy's footsteps, trying to get closer to their mother and prove to the woman that her daughter was worth more than being ignored, she had still secretly looked out for the Neutral Zone, had volunteered for every mission out there.

Until they had all been fed up with the war and she had given up pretending that her efforts could make a difference to anyone. Least of all her mother.

If she hadn't found Lincoln back then, she wasn't sure what would have become of her. But with him by her side, she had suddenly felt whole. And like she had a true purpose. To live in the Neutral Zone and actually fight to keep it neutral, keep it safe for whoever needed it.

Now here was Nyko destroying all she had believed in, turning the Neutral Zone into just another faction in a war.

Pressing her lips together, she exchanged a look with her brother, then with Lincoln, whose soft eyes rested on her, reassuring her yet again.

"We can't let him get to the metal before us. That bastard is gonna ruin everything we've been working for."

She was ready to charge forward, her horse dancing under her, when Bellamy held out a hand to stop her and their troops.

"Wait."

"Bell," she hissed, glaring at him with rising anger. Why was he stalling when every freaking second counted? But he shook his head, imploring her with his dark eyes.

"We can't just barge in, O. They're too many. It would end in a damn bloodbath with all of us dead."

"What do you suggest, _Captain_ _son_?" She couldn't help the moniker, and her brother's now equally angry stare told her that she had gotten to him. But he was reining himself in, surprising her. Yet there was a sudden coldness in his tone when he spoke.

"Wait for night fall. Make our way over the slope right there," he pointed toward the horizon, where she could see a forest of pines meandering across the hills that hid the ruins of the old city.

"And then what? By then Nyko will have started mining. He'll either have killed our people working down there or—"

"We'll have to chance it," Bellamy interrupted her, his expression even more grim and unrelenting. At least she knew how tough of a decision this was for him. Leaving the miners to their own fate couldn't have been easy on him. But she had to admit he was probably right.

So far, the Zoners hadn't seen them. If they snuck in at night, they had a chance to ambush them, taking them out when they were unsuspecting and more vulnerable.

"What about the metal?" Octavia asked, worried that even if they did get to Nyko's people, they would never be able to get them all. And what if a number of them escaped with some of the metal, and continued with their awful plan of using it to create their own Eternals?

Kane cleared his throat awkwardly, looking a little sheepish. No one had forgotten that he had once made Nyko believe they were doing this all together. Octavia for one certainly didn't quite believe that he had since changed sides. While she liked him well enough, and he had proven himself on numerous occasions, he was also someone with his very own agenda. And he was hard to read.

The one thing that kept Octavia from openly doubting him was Indra. For some reason the older woman believed him over her fellow forester, Nyko, and she and Kane had even developed a strange relationship of mutual respect.

Now the man leaned forward a little bit, focusing on Bellamy when he spoke. "It won't be easy to transport the metal. They'll need carriages for it, something larger and more conspicuous than horses or soldiers on foot." He shot Octavia a glance, then Indra, who had appeared behind them, accompanied by a grim looking Lincoln. Nodding at them, Kane continued. "You all know about my business with Nyko... We both have experience with this trade. He'll know how to transport his bounty. I'm pretty certain that he'll have left troops along the way to guarantee a smooth way back."

"What does that mean, Kane?" Indra asked, her tone level, her expression unreadable behind a stoic mask. Octavia envied the woman for her calm sometimes.

"It means… there'll be more people for us to deal with if we can't stop them before they reach the open. We need to cut them off before they can leave the mine or we won't stand a chance."

"We need to split up then." Bellamy stared at them, looking unhappy. Suddenly Octavia felt incredibly bad for him, for the responsibility he was so reluctantly shouldering. She knew he was struggling with sending his own people into such a dangerous situation and splitting the already small number in half surely didn't make matters any easier. Now she wished she hadn't called him Captain son, hadn't tried to hurt him like that.

Sometimes she couldn't help herself, or her temper, however. It was time she worked on that if she wanted to help Bell, help their people get out of their demise.

"I'll cut them off by the entrance," she suggested, thinking on the spot, "You need to get Kane in so he can work his magic before they can steal too much of the metal."

"And then what. We hope for the best?"

Bellamy looked ready to call it all off, but she smiled at him winningly, confidently, and replied, "Exactly that."

* * *

…

 _This is not good,_ Clarke communicated to Bellamy, a surge of emotions washing over to her from his side as she opened her barriers a bit wider, trying to nudge him out. She could tell that he was closing himself off from her, didn't want her to worry, but it wasn't working. Because these days, she always worried when she couldn't see past his walls, when he was hiding behind his barriers. _Bell_ _. Talk to me._

_I just don't know what to do. We're… completely unprepared for this scale. I wasn't thinking. I underestimated the whole goddamn enterprise. Of course Nyko would come well prepared. I just—_

_No one could have known he had already recruited that many people._ She tried to appease him, but he wasn't having any of that. He was beating himself up, was upset about his lack of preparedness, and she couldn't blame him. She was similarly upset. And annoyed that she wasn't there to try and help.

_It's like I'm leading our people to slaughter…_

Catching herself absently touching her jacket where it hid her stomach, she rolled her eyes at herself. Of course she wasn't there to help.

 _You're still here with me_ , Bellamy informed her and despite herself she had to smile.

_We're pretty cheesy, aren't we?_

She felt his brief flicker of amusement and knew it had to suffice. She couldn't make decisions for him now. Because whatever they had said, she wasn't really there, didn't feel the atmosphere, didn't see the terrain, didn't know how their troops were doing.

 _Do what needs to be done, Bellamy_ , she finally said, the harsh words tasting bitter in her mouth. But she knew it needed to be done. She knew people were going to die, and she just hoped it wasn't going to be Bellamy, or Octavia. Or even Kane. Feeling like an awful person, she warded her mind a little more again, not wanting him to see how dark it got in there at times. How awful she truly was.

But it was still a truth she lived by: that the greater good of the many trumped that of the few. And Bellamy was out there to make sure that the majority would stay safe, while she was going to try her best and help here, in the city. Assisting her mom and Raven with their work on a cure for the bonds, at the same time governing the camp as best as she could.

With a sigh, she went on her way, preparing herself to face the camp inhabitants, and have her daily conversation with Titus.

 _I love you, Bellamy, be safe,_ she tried to tell him, but he had warded himself off again already and she wasn't sure he had heard her.

* * *

…

* * *

...

Days later, and things were all back to normal. Well, as normal as John Murphy's life could be called.

His arm had stopped glowing and hurting, Emori was back in his mind, he was busy guarding the city and had begun to help Clarke out down in the camp.

The latter hadn't been his idea, of course, he generally preferred staying away from that nasty place with its smells and mud and dirty frustrated Silveren, but the doc had made him go so she could keep in touch with her daughter at all times.

He felt like a damn babysitter these days, and he didn't like it. Especially since Clarke could very well take care of herself. She didn't want him there, either. Besides, she made him feel awkward as hell about what he had done to her boyfriend, her bond partner.

 _You were following orders, John,_ Emori reminded him, and he made a face, not convinced. He was a piece of shit. Everyone had always known that, he included. If he was being honest, he had enjoyed torturing Bellamy. The man was a Silveren, had been a freaking Eternal back then, and John had felt good about showing someone like him what pain really meant. Didn't that make him a monster?

_You're not a monster, John. That was before—_

_Before what, huh?_

Emori was getting annoyed with him, tired of his constant self-hatred. Of course he couldn't blame her, it was tiring enough to be himself, but someone else seeing the mess that was his thoughts… He didn't envy her. Strangely, she was so very different from him. More focused, less dragged down by things, and he feared that the longer they stayed linked, the more he'd drag her with him.

_Before you knew him. When you were still following orders. And now stop with all that negativity. Things are how they are for now, but with any luck, Doc and Raven will find a way now. Last time was so close…_

John ran a hand over his forehead, nodding at no one and nothing in particular. He wished he could be hopeful, but since even that last time hadn't exactly changed much…

He eventually reached the door to the lab, ready for yet another check in with Doc Griffin and Reyes, but before he could quite grab the door handle and let himself in, something zapped in his brain and he began to spiral down into dizziness.

_Oh shit, this doesn't feel so—_

Emori's words in his mind broke off abruptly, and struggling to hold onto something to keep himself from getting washed away and crashing down, he fumbled with his hands, not noticing when he banged hard against the door, then slumped to the ground in a heap, the side of his head connecting with the hard cold floor, a splitting pain shooting up into his skull and down his spine before he couldn't feel anything anymore.

* * *

…

A loud banging noise startled Raven, and she looked up from where she had sat next to Abby, trying to figure out what she saw in front of her.

The slide under the microscope was a sample from her own hand, a culture they had taken, and they had been comparing it with Murphy's samples from the last few days, noticing a gradual change in both of them, and a glaring difference.

While Raven's sample had normalized itself almost completely - something she could also see on her own hand, which had almost gone back to normal, John's had done something else. The nanobots they had extracted from Abby before had multiplied - were still multiplying - and had begun to slowly override the golden bots in his system.

What they wanted to check now was whether this was true for his bloodstream as well. So they had asked him to come in today for another sample.

"What the hell was that?" she asked, exchanging a glance with Abby, who shrugged at her, taking off her glasses as Raven moved to walk over to the door. Opening it with a swift motion, her gaze immediately fell on what she now knew must have caused that noise: John Murphy, test subject number 1, was lying in a growing puddle of his own blood, knocked out and looking ghostly pale.

"Shit," she cursed, then kneeled down quickly and called over to Abby. "Doc!" Her hand went up to touch him, before she abruptly hesitated, remembering the last time she had done that. The last time he had collapsed…

"Abby!" she called out again, relieved when the woman appeared by her side. "I… wasn't sure I could touch him, not without gloves, not after…"

She trailed off, thankful when Abby smiled at her with understanding, before she felt for a pulse.

"It was smart that you waited," she told Raven, then added, "He's alive."

Raven sighed. "You think this has to do with the treatment?"

Abby shrugged, then worked to turn Murphy over and onto his side, making sure his airways were clear before she checked on the laceration on his eyebrow. "Poor kid hit his head pretty badly," she said, and for some reason what stuck out to Raven was the part about the "poor kid." John Murphy was anything but that. He had tortured Bellamy, and who knew how many others.

"Raven!"

"What?" She was jolted back by Abby's harsh exclamation, and apologized when she saw the other woman's frown. "I'm sorry, I was just—"

"Can you get me my bag? I need to patch this up, and then we'll have to lay him down somewhere. He can't stay on the floor."

"What do you think happened?"

Abby ignored the question, gently slapping Murphy's cheeks. "John, can you hear me? Come on, kid. Open your eyes for me."

Raven was almost certain he'd be back in a few seconds, just like last time. But when she went to grab Abby's medical supplies, then watched her stitch up the wound on Murphy's face, and the guy still disn't wake up, she slowly grew worried. Worried about John Murphy of all people. Clenching her teeth, she suppressed a huff and rolled her eyes at herself. Was she growing soft? Was it because Finn wasn't around to use up all her energy?

She was still constantly worried about him, too, of course, but she hated to admit that part of her was relieved he was gone, on that mission with Bellamy and the others. Now someone else could take care of him for a bit.

"What the hell happened?" another voice suddenly blurted, and Clarke appeared in the hallway, breaking into a sprint when she noticed someone lying on the ground.

"Murphy?"

"He's not waking up," Abby quietly said, her voice raspy and detached. Raven was amazed yet again how well the woman could keep her emotions hidden.

"He collapsed again? Because of the treatment?" Clarke exchanged a glance with her mother, then Raven, who merely shrugged at her, as confused as she was.

"Someone needs to go find Emori." Abby looked up, and Raven wanted to say she'd do it, but something kept her rooted to the spot. A sudden fear paralyzing her that she couldn't explain.

Thankfully Clarke stepped in. "I'll go,"'she offered, "Is she still on her shift?"

She meant guard duty, and Raven nodded. Having worked with the two for so many months now, she knew way too much about their schedules, their habits, their lives.

"Okay." Clarke turned to leave, but Abby called her before she had gotten very far.

"Don't touch her. No matter in what state you'll find her in. Don't touch her. Not without gloves…"

Clarke jerked her head harshly rather than nodding. "Will do." With that she was off, and Raven was left to stare after her, the paralysis slowly leaving her again when Abby patted her back.

"Put some gloves on. I'll need you to help me lift him up and over to the gurney."

"You got it, Doc."

And when she grabbed John Murphy minutes later, putting her arms under his to cross them over his chest and lift him up, she couldn't help but wonder again what she had done.

Was he dying after all?

The thought sent a sudden panic down her back. Like she actually cared about him now.


	7. Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to hopesjourney for being kind and commenting and reading! 
> 
> Thanks to any silent readers, too. And for the kudos. :)
> 
> Makes me feel like I’m not just posting it for my selfish self. :)

…

Finn was breathing too fast. The world around him was suddenly so quiet that the sound of his own labored inhalations was all he could hear for a while, and it scared him.

When his lungs widened to take in air, an awful pain shot through his shoulder, making him hold his breath until he gasped for air, white stars exploding at the back of his skull, starting the cycle anew, before he slipped into a hyperventilating rhythm.

There was snow on the ground, or… no, it was summer. It couldn't be snow. Ash. Ash falling from the sky in thick flakes, slowly coating the ground around him, the trees too, until everything looked like a wintery dream. It smelled burnt.

His eyes flicked around, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. People on the ground. Not moving. A white figure walked among them, accompanied by a few blurry shadows that had to be soldiers, too.

Memory whooshed back with sudden force and he knew they were not his people. And they were coming closer.

His too shallow breathing accelerated, he couldn't help it. He thought of Raven briefly, glad she wasn't here, couldn't see him, weak and struggling. He turned his head as best as he could, his gaze falling on a body close to where he sat leaning against a tree. No, not leaning. Pinned.

The person was still breathing, was slowly moving, an arm trying to fumble for a weapon on the ashen ground. Closing his eyes for a moment, he forced himself to calm down, to slow his breathing before it would tear his lungs apart. If that person didn't stop moving, they'd attract the attention of that small group of enemies, and then they'd both be dead.

He had no idea whether Bellamy and Kane had been successful, but he knew that the team he had been on had done their duty. They had stopped the carriages, had destroyed the roads Nyko's people had built to transport the metal on. At least that way they'd lose a bit of time before they could do anything with their bounty.

Maybe the people at Arkadia would send reinforcements soon, would stop the man and his group of rebels once and for all. For that to happen, Finn would have to try and stay alive first. To guide them here. Maybe he could still find a Bonded so they could report.

Blinking, he tried to get rid of a blackish fog clouding his view, but it wasn't working so well.

The person on the ground was now heavily crawling forward, making him anxious. He wanted to call out and tell them to stop, to not draw attention or they'd get killed, but he couldn't. The enemy would hear him. They were so close now, kicking the bodies left and right with their boots, making sure the people were all dead.

How had he ended up here again?

He remembered the loud crash and rumble of the explosion. So vast and all encompassing. He remembered thinking something had gone wrong. Something hadn't been right. A plume of blazing smoke had risen into the sky before a black cloud had descended upon the world, so thick that it had darkened the day around them.

By then he had just unfrozen out of a panicked paralysis to join the fight. He had begun fighting off some of the men that were trying to guard the road, had watched how fiercely Indra was guiding her people into this battle, had seen Octavia Blake, the Captain's daughter, wield her sword so expertly that her opponents hadn't stood a chance and then…

Nothing. Pain. Waking up leaning against this tree, rough and oddly cold.

He swallowed, even that motion hurting, when he saw the person stand up, revealing the slim figure of no one else but Octavia, Octavia with blood running down into her eyes, blood staining her dark clothes, her sword half raised as if she was trying to fight again.

"Nyko," she called out, her voice more a croak, and Finn tried to stop her, to tell her to stay down, but the words wouldn't come and it was too late anyways, because right then, the white figure turned around, grinning before patting one of the shadows' shoulders.

"You weren't lying, Nyko," a raspy voice said, "these kids are fierce. I'll honor that if nothing else…"

With that, the man stomped forward, quickly reaching the staggeringly standing Octavia, and Finn's breath hitched as the stranger easily tossed her sword from her with a flick of the weapon in his own hand.

"Don't kill her yet, Roan," the shadow who was presumably Nyko said, "She's Blake's little sister and we might need her to get to him."

Did that mean that at least Bellamy was alive?

Finn tried to get up, to get to Octavia, but it was almost impossible, every movement agony.

"O," he hissed, cut off by pain, but she turned to look at him anyways, clearly surprised that someone else beside her was still alive.

His call had alerted the enemy to his presence, too, but of course they knew he was no threat.

"Eternal," the stranger said, shoving Octavia down into the ashes unceremoniously, where she struggled to get up again, but the man didn't pay any attention, solely focused on Finn now. There was a grin on his face, a brutish looking face, yet strangely handsome, and Finn had the sudden distinct impression that this man was the real one in power. Not Nyko.

He blinked, he could have sworn he had just closed his eyes for a split second, but when he looked again, the man was sitting hunched directly in front of him, his smile even wider as he lightly nudged whatever was pinning Finn to the tree.

A yell escaped him, his eyes half rolling back into his skull, he couldn't help it. Bucking against the awful sensation, he completely forgot to breathe until the man clapped his chest a couple of times. "Easy, kid..."

Then, when he knew he had Finn's attention, he nodded at something to the side and said, "How fitting."

Only then did Finn turn, and following the man's gaze he saw for the first time why he couldn't move. A large piece of Eternal metal held him nailed to the tree, too bright where it bore into him, and he almost chuckled. Fitting indeed.

"An Eternal stabbed by Eternal metal. How it should be, don't you think?" The man laughed, then waved a hand, making the shadows walk over to him. "Get the girl, and kill this one here. Or… leave him for his people. He'll be a good warning."

"We can't leave the metal in, Roan," Nyko said, and now Finn could see the man's face. Paler, more drawn than the last time he had seen him. He clearly wasn't happy with this development.

"Why not?"

"Because Kane destroyed the damn mine before we could harvest enough of the metal. We need every last scrap we can find, like this piece right here."

"Fine. Replace it with your sword if you have to. Just… I'd hate for the symbolism to get destroyed." The man wasn't looking at Nyko but Finn when he continued. "An Eternal marred by his own weapon." Abruptly, he pulled Finn's sleeve up, exposing the strange dull scar underneath. "A healed Eternal to boot. But nothing is forever. And the pain you inflicted is back to haunt you, as you deserve."

"Leave him alone." Octavia had managed to stand back up, legs shaking, but in a fighting stance, her hands balled into fists, her arms held like a boxer. No one had dared touch her yet, however, as if they didn't quite trust the situation, trust that she was as weak as she seemed.

Finn stared up at her, wide eyed, shaking his head. She couldn't do this, couldn't be so stupid to risk her life, not for him.

He didn't know her well enough…

* * *

…

Octavia wasn't going to just succumb and let these people take her. Their leader - Roan or whatever the hell his stupid name was - seemed like a caricature of a war lord, and she wasn't ready to allow him to leave one of her own as a symbol for her people while taking her to taunt Bellamy.

At least she had learned that way that her brother was still alive. Bell was alive and while they hadn't completely succeeded, they had managed to destroy the mining site eventually and the road back to wherever Nyko and his new best friend had wanted to transport the metal. This wasn't over.

She felt bone fired, every part of her body felt sore and torn after the explosion had thrown her around like a rag doll, but she wasn't someone to give up and lie down. She'd die trying to fight them if she had to.

Roan slowly stood up, patting Finn's injury and making him gasp before facing her, his broad shoulders sagging slightly as he did. "You care for this one?" He raised an eyebrow, seeming unconvinced.

Raising her chin, she stared at him defiantly. "Yes," she hissed, nothing more. She wasn't intimidated by him even though maybe she should have been. Running a hand over the long blade of his sword, he leisurely walked a little closer toward her.

"Huh," he made. But he didn't get a chance to say more because right then Lincoln appeared from where he must have hidden in the woods, and attacked the man's companions so swiftly that two of them were instantly on the ground, Nyko ready to follow when suddenly, before she had even had a chance to smile and regain her confidence, her fighting spirit, Octavia heard an awful gurgling sound. Then she saw not Nyko but Lincoln slump to the ground, his eyes meeting hers briefly before they rolled to reveal the whites, his hands clutching at the blood gushing from where his throat had been cut.

"No!" she yelled, stumbling forward, forgetting what she was even here to do, forgetting the very real chance that she might soon be dead too, might follow Lincoln. But it couldn't be, it couldn't be. He couldn't be dead.

Not Lincoln. Not him. No.

With a loud roar, she abruptly jumped into action, trying to get to Cole, to help him. But things were happening so quickly and then there was another, mindnumbingly loud explosion, the ground shaking underneath them all, a wall of fire slowly creeping away from where the mining site had been and toward them, and someone - maybe Nyko - pulled Roan away before he could attack Octavia, to take her or kill her.

"We gotta go!" someone yelled. "Shit."

And then the world grew eerily quiet, as if time had slowed down and the sound had been muted, and she was crawling across the ashes, past Finn, past the bodies on the ground, until her hands finally found Lincoln, his eyes unseeing, wide open. His hands had fallen to the side, bloodied, red, and he wasn't moving, wasn't breathing. Because he was dead. As dead as everyone else. As dead as she would soon be because when she looked up again, a wail escaping her that wouldn't stop, she saw the fire roll toward her, but she didn't care.

She didn't care.

It was over.

* * *

…

He wasn't quite sure what it was, maybe a last kernel of self preservation, but when Finn saw Lincoln fall, when he saw Octavia scramble toward the poor guy's lifeless body, and Roan leaving, when he saw the flames come toward them, a surge of adrenaline coursed through him, and he pulled and tore at the piece of metal in his shoulder to get free. When he couldn't get it out, he steeled himself as best as he could, gritted his teeth and with a last effort, he pushed himself off the tree, and off the metal rod until he felt his consciousness waver, heard himself scream as if it was someone else. But then he was free, falling to his hands and knees, heaving, shaking, ready to pass out, yet forcing himself to go on, to stand up and get Octavia. Get her out, away, somewhere, before the fire would incinerate them.

They needed to leave, and leave now. Or they would die. And while that thought didn't even sound so bad to him, he couldn't let that happen to her.

Struggling up, he half crawled over to the girl, gripping her arm hard as he got there. He tried not to look at the dead around them, at Lincoln in particular, but it was impossible. They were everywhere. Everyone was dead…

Mouth dry, he tried to swallow, coughing involuntarily as the dry air irritated his airways more. "We need to go," he muttered, because his voice wasn't obeying either, and he coughed again, this time harder, aggravating his injury to the point where he had to stifle another yell.

At least that got Octavia's attention, and she turned to look at him, her hands still at Lincoln's bloody throat. Her expression made Finn's face scrunch up in sympathy. There was so much devastation and pain there that he didn't know what to do or say. But now was no time for that anyway, so he merely pointed at the wave of red and orange coming their way, as if to underscore the point that the ground was still shaking underneath them.

"We need to go!"

Her stare was blank when she shook her head. "No, I can't leave him. I need to…" She was stammering, faltering. "Help me pick him up." Standing up, she began pulling at the much larger figure of her dead boyfriend, and Finn clenched his jaw as he forced himself to get up, too, to grab her arms and still her movements. She tried to shake him off, making him hiss out with the motion, but he didn't let go regardlessly.

It was almost as if he was watching someone else. Someone more capable and selfless than himself. Briefly, a memory of the last time he got injured flashed through his mind, and he saw himself sitting on a bed lethargically, someone else having to make all the decisions for him, having to do all the work. Part of him was ready to let himself fall like that again, to give up. But he couldn't. This time, there was no one else to take responsibility. And this girl in front of him needed him to step up.

So he did. Closing his eyes briefly, he channeled whatever strength he had left, then pulled Octavia close until she was a mere inch away from him, her breath warm against his face.

"Lincoln is dead," he informed her harshly, "We need to go. We need to try and find whoever else is still alive…"

"They're all gone." She looked so lost that it pained him more than the physical agony that was his shoulder. "Lincoln… Bell—"

"He could still be out there. Which is why we have to _go_."

"Not after this second explosion…" She shook her head, forlorn.

Tilting his head, he took her in. She had lost hope, but not her senses. She was aware of what was happening, what had happened, and he had to take that as a good sign.

Right then, her eyes suddenly rolled back, flickering closed, and she fell forward toward him. With a shocked gasp, he instinctively broke her fall, holding onto her, holding her upright as best as he could, his breaths a staccato of pain as he had to shoulder the added weight.

Shit. What was he supposed to do now? Raising his head high, he tried to get his bearings, tried to find a way out, somewhere to hide, escape the flames that were eating their way toward them, so close now that it had gotten at least a few degrees warmer around them already.

Then he just hoisted her up as best as he could, clenching his teeth hard to block out the pain and he ran. Stumbled, staggered. Falling forward, then crawling, he soon didn't know where he was even going anymore. Everything was white hot pain, the landscape blurred and then… he began slipping on the muddy ground. Tightening his grip on Octavia so as not to lose her, he tried to stop himself, but the ground was sloping down, a hill perhaps, some structure he didn't remember from their way over here, but then, he had no idea where he even was anymore.

He was fighting to regain control, but as tree stumps and underbrush assaulted them, he lost his grasp on Octavia, and seconds later, his torn open shoulder connected with something hard and unrelenting, and as his view exploded into yellow and white, the sky turning bright red above him, he fell and fell until all was black.


	8. Inferno

...

The kid's fingers briefly twitched as Marcus Kane laid him down on the ground rather roughly, panting heavily from the strain of having carried the dead weight of the body for the last hour or so. He half collapsed right next to the boy, trying to catch his breath, as another booming sound shook the world around them and he instinctively shielded the unconscious kid before him as best as he could.

Debris crumbled down on them where he had found shelter in what looked to be a long forgotten abandoned mining tunnel, and he hoped for both of them that the fire wouldn't get them here.

Marcus had had a sense of deja vu when they had first set out. They had managed to sneak into the mine alright, just like they had done so many times before, at the Captain's favorite mining site a little over a year ago, but also at the few smaller ones they had visited since then. It had seemed so familiar here, he had almost already seen how it would end: With the site exploding and them telling everyone they came across to run for it. Stupidly, he had thought he'd see Nyko and would be able to persuade him to join forces to get their people out and to safety.

He scoffed at the thought now, then coughed harshly as he slowly straightened himself, waiting to see whether the earth would continue rumbling or quiet down. Sniffing, he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but it was taking a while. Enough time for him to go over it all in his head yet again.

It had all played out so similarly. There had been him, Bellamy, and a handful of others who had made it down to the core, while a larger part of their team had created a distraction over by the gates, and the rest had waited in hiding. As backup.

Once they had heard the others by the main entrance, he and his little group had followed Bellamy down a scarily steep precipice. Coming from the eastern side of the harsh black crater the Big One had created, they had been almost invisible. But it had taken them a while to get down to the veins of molten sheen down below. They had had to take out a bunch of miners once they got down there, barely making it in time before a grimy looking woman could ring the emergency alarm bell. But they had made it, and he had poured his concoction down into the core and…

Suddenly things had gone south so fast that he had barely gotten away with his life.

How the hell had it come so far? What had he done? What had been his mistake? Too much of the agent? Underestimation of the structural integrity of the mine? He didn't freaking know, and it grated on him. All he did know for sure was that he had killed a man, with his own hands. He would forever remember that man, his startled face and dulling eyes, the first and hopefully only life Marcus had ever taken, and he felt a large lump in his throat again as he stared at his bloody hands.

But this blood wasn't that of the man. This blood had come after…

After rubbing his hands on his pants, he rummaged through his bag, frantically searching for his medical supplies. Kneeling down in the small cave they had managed to flee into after the second, unexpected explosion, he took a few calculated breaths, telling himself to calm down. Finally, he managed to find what he had been looking for. A small flask of alcohol, salve, and gauze.

"This is gonna hurt, I'm afraid," he said, but of course there was no reply. A grim smile flitted across his features as he thought of what Abby would think if she saw him now, trying to be a doctor of sorts, or at least a medic. Then he went about his work, slowly peeling away his patient's burnt shirt, some of the skin coming off right alongside it, and he grimaced on the poor kid's behalf. At least he was out… Not like when he had first picked him up awkwardly. That scream still rang in Marcus's ear. It had been the last real sign of life he had gotten from Bellamy Blake.

He owed this kid his life, so he was going to do everything in his power to repay him, this young man that was the hope of a whole freaking people.

More than that. Of the world.

Because despite what Marcus liked to tell everyone, that it was thanks to his own intellect, his experimentation, his merit that there was a cure, that they had a way to destroy the vile Eternal mines, it was really because of the Captain's son's determination and persuasion that he had joined this cause. He might have reached out first, might have wanted to get his cure out there, but he had never seen himself at the helm of a movement to actually end the war, end the Eternal reign.

It had been Bellamy and his impossible bond with Clarke that had inspired Marcus to be more than just the catalyst. To be part of the biggest change since the Last War had ended with the destruction of the whole damn world.

If the kid died on him now, and with him his Golden bond-partner back in the city, Marcus wasn't sure what would happen with the world. With this war. With his cure. Because he sure as hell wasn't going out there alone. Wouldn't have gone out there in the first place, had Clarke and Bellamy not made him.

He had become a better man during the last year, a man with a real hope to become something in this world, when all he had grown up to believe was that he was inferior because of his mixed lineage. There weren't all that many "bastards," but he sure as hell was one, he had even been proud of it at times. And suddenly, this heritage hadn't meant being ostracized from society anymore. Suddenly he had had people he cared about, that cared about him. He had had a cause and a purpose.

And love.

So if Bellamy Blake died on him, all that would be lost, gone. If the kid died, Marcus's purpose was gone, his hope, and his love. Because if he couldn't save Bellamy, then his partner would die, too, his pregnant partner. Abby's daughter.

No. That couldn't happen. It couldn't.

With shaking hands, he ripped open a roll of gauze and dribbled some of the alcohol on it. He had to try and sterilize the wound as best as he could, had to try to put some dressings on, and then… wait.

Because he didn't even know what the hell he was supposed to do down here. Had anyone else survived? How long would he have to wait until it was remotely save to leave the tunnel?

Out there roared an inferno; some chain reaction had unearthed a horror so much larger than anything he had anticipated.

The Black Ruins hadn't even been supposed to be as large of a site as Aurora's. And yet here he was as the world came crashing down around him, with nowhere left to go.

"Come on, kid. Help me here," he said, talking more to himself than Bellamy, who was still mercifully unconscious so that Marcus could continue his garish job.

They hadn't even been halfway to the top before the core had exploded, way way faster than it had been supposed to happen. Flames like silvery gleaming daggers had shot up, like molten lava making its way toward them, and before they had had a chance to duck for cover, it had rained down on them, devouring most of their group so quickly that they didn't even have time to scream.

Except for Bellamy. Bellamy, who had led the way, and who had been crushed by a large glob of Eternal metal from behind, the substance fusing to his clothes within seconds, burning down to the skin on his back. And Marcus still saw him let go of where he had held onto the rocky wall they had been climbing up, saw the kid fall toward him, but he didn't remember what happened then, how he had managed to break the boy's fall and catch him. But that's what he had done. And now they were here, in this dark old tunnel.

The ground was still rumbling and it was so damn hot. He wiped the back of his hand over his brow as he went about his work, carefully removing dead skin and fabric. He tried to pry away parts of the metal, but it was so damn difficult. Maybe if he had had some of his concoction left, he could have poured it on there, but there was nothing left now.

He tried to think as he poured more alcohol, then eventually applied a good dose of the salve.

"I really hope Clarke is there with you right now," he muttered, startling as the kid stirred slightly, a soft moan escaping him. Then he remembered the baby, and clicked his tongue, hoping this wasn't causing any problems on the other end.

These bonds could be truly awful…

"Come on, son. I need you to be strong. Nothing you haven't dealt with before, right? You're used to pain, remember?"

Because he had been an Eternal up until recently…

It was as if a switch had been turned on in Marcus's empty head, and he scrutinized the wound before wrapping it up. The metal… would it just cause the wound to be an Eternal one? Or could something else be happening? Could the metal send new nanobots through Bellamy's whole body? Nanobots that could reactivate his Eternal scar?

Looking up at the too dark roof of the tunnel, Marcus tried to comprehend what that could mean for all of them, including the others that had been close when the site exploded. Had anyone survived? How many Eternal wounds had been sustained? How was he going to treat all of them? And what if the Neutral Zoners needed their help? Who was to say how they should distribute it? Would their own people be a priority, or whoever was injured the worst? And where would they treat everyone? Triaging a battlefield would not be an easy task, but of course he was getting ahead of himself. The logistics of this were simply too mind-boggling. There'd be so much to do.

That was, if he and Bellamy even made it out of the tunnel. Which was still rather questionable…

* * *

…

Clarke didn't need long to find Emori. After guard duty, the girl had apparently made her way straight back to Kane's mansion, probably to meet John and to get checked by Raven or Abby, just like him.

As soon as Clarke made her way up the stairs and down the hallway toward the kitchen, she spotted a slumped form resting half against the wall, half on the floor. A surge of worry made her race forward so that she got to Emori within seconds. Hunching down, she felt for a pulse, only to be disappointed. Her panic grew.

"Mom!"

There was a trickle of blood coming out of each of the girl's ears, and clear liquid from her nose, and Clarke had absolutely no idea what to do.

"Mom!"

She couldn't just wait. Positioning Emori's lifeless body so that she could start CPR, Clarke went to work. A quick deep exhalation into the girl's mouth, then a few quick compressions of her chest, and repeat.

How long had Emori been lying there? Were Clarke's attempts just futile at this point?

"Mom!"

"What is it?" Abby was jogging toward her, her bag of medical supplies cradled before her. But Clarke didn't have to answer. It was rather obvious why she had called, and when she watched as Abby examined the girl now, taking over from her daughter, she instantly knew that it was too late. That Emori was dead.

Exchanging a glance with her mom, she swallowed. "What about Murphy?"

Abby made a face, a grimace, then shrugged. "He's still alive. For now. But I'm not sure for how long."

"I don't understand what happened." Clarke was confused. She got up slowly while her mother closed Emori's wide open eyes, sighing loudly as she did.

"Neither do I. I'm… guessing the treatment did do something to disconnect their bond…"

"Then why did she die and he didn't? That doesn't make sense. You sure he _is_ still alive?"

A small gasp escaped Clarke when Abby nodded for confirmation. She didn't even know why, but she truly didn't want Murphy dead.

"I don't know, Clarke. He could still follow her any minute. Or not. But he's still not woken up and… I don't know! They got the same injections. They…"

…

Clarke wasn't listening anymore. Abruptly, a barrier had opened up in her mind, and the world had grown larger around her. The hallway turning into a blazing fiery pit, she felt like she was losing the ground under her feet, and she stumbled.

"Clarke?" Abby's concerned face appeared before her, but it was so hard to focus. So hard to see. Her fingers grasped for her mother's arms, her heart beating in her chest and throat, and all she could think of was—

 _Bellamy_.

There was no answer, nothing. Until suddenly her head seemed to explode with a foreign pain and a myriad of images and emotions, a white hot searing cold clutching her from behind, burning itself into her, and it took everything within her to focus on where she was, where she stood with her mother, in the hallway with a dead girl, so that she wouldn't lose consciousness and fall.

She remembered the all encompassing pain of Bellamy's Eternal scar, and this was just as unbearable, just as awful.

_Bellamy!_

What the hell had happened to him?

"Clarke, what's going on? Is it Bellamy? Is it the mission?"

 _Bellamy. Are you okay?_ What a stupid stupid question. He was far from okay, he was barely even still alive. He was…

 _You're okay. You're okay. I got you,_ she breathed, half aloud, making her mother frown, but she didn't notice, because all she could concentrate on was Bellamy and that pain and the feeling of falling falling falling, until her legs, too, gave out and Abby caught her.

"Clarke!"


	9. Unknown

…

There was the sound of a slow trickle. Water dripping down on rocks. It was the first thing that came back to her, her hearing the first sense to comply again, then Octavia slowly opened her eyes.

Her head felt like it had been smashed in, a pounding headache sitting between her eyes, and she had to struggle for a few moments before she could see clearly. With one hand, she gingerly touched where the pain was worst and noticed a gash on the root of her nose. That explained the headache, at least in part.

As her conscience came back more and more, so did the pain in other places, and she remembered.

How the explosion - the first explosion - had surprised her. She had watched her people fall left and right, and heard them yell and scream as a sudden fiery vapor had surrounded them, setting many of them on fire, throwing others off their horses, as had happened to her. The poor animal had rolled half on top of her, probably crushing a few of her ribs and mangling her left leg. She could consider herself lucky if she hadn't suffered any internal bleeding, and of course she couldn't be sure that she hadn't.

Trying to raise herself into a sitting position, she moaned, gritting her teeth against the protests of her body. Behind her was a long dark wall, above her what looked like a ceiling cut from stone, and she realized that someone must have brought her here, and no one that seemed to care much about her either, or they wouldn't have just dumped her on the cold floor.

Only then did she notice that someone had actually wrapped her leg. And her arm. Carefully lifting one flap of her torn shirt, she saw a patch of white on the side of her stomach, and a large bandage around her rib cage. Panting, she rolled her eyes, at herself or whoever had "saved" her, she wasn't sure. Whoever they were, they were not her friends, or she would at least be lying on a blanket of some sort.

She wanted to move further, to get up, but couldn't. The pain got so strong that she hissed, and she fell back, feeling nauseous and exhausted.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a familiar voice said, and she made a face. Really, she thought, of all the people she could have gotten stuck with, it was the freaking nutcase Finn?

Glaring into the darkness, she searched until she found him sitting a few feet away from her, leaning against the damp looking wall, and even in the dim light of the place they were in she could see that he looked ashen.

"You're not having a freaking breakdown again, are you? Because, fuck if I can deal with your sensitivities down here on top of this whole mess…"

His chuckle surprised her, almost made her angry, but it stopped so abruptly and turned into an unhealthy sounding cough that she merely frowned and tried yet again to sit up.

"Don't," he half wheezed, shaking his head at her now, and before she could make another comment or try to show him just how much stronger than him she really was, he continued, "They pulled a freaking branch out of your stomach. You're lucky you're even still alive. If you move," he made a strange long pause, then added, "that might change… Lost a shit ton of blood…"

A branch. In her stomach. Octavia tried to comprehend what the hell had even happened.

An image of Finn sitting pinned to a tree appeared before her mind's eye; Lincoln storming out of the woods to come to her aid.

Lincoln…

"He's dead," she breathed, the sudden realization sending a sting through her that hurt more than any of her physical injuries. Lincoln was dead. She had seen his empty eyes, had felt his blood, warm and sticky. "He's dead…" Her heart clenched, her face scrunched up, exacerbating her headache, but she couldn't help it.

"I'm so sorry…"

She had almost forgotten that Finn was there until he spoke. Closing her eyes, she tried to keep the tears at bay that threatened to come. She couldn't cry in front of him. He was the weak one, the broken one, not Octavia Blake.

But Lincoln was dead.

And she was broken, broken so badly that she didn't know what to do, how to keep going, how to even care where she was and what had happened.

For one awful agonizing moment, she couldn't stop herself, couldn't rein in the despair, and a wail escaped her, so foreign as if it came from someone else. And that moment stretched until her chest ached, her throat, her headache growing worse, until arms came around her, the warmth of someone else's body. Somewhere it registered with her that it was Finn, could only be Fin, and she tried to shake him off, to keep her vulnerability to herself, away from his prying eyes and too sympathetic worried face, but then she didn't have the strength anymore, and the need for comfort got so strong that she let him hold her, an arm pulling her closer so she could lay against him, hide her face, allow him to hold her, without saying a word.

Later, when her sobs subsided, her body sore from crying, the wound in her stomach raw from the strain, she felt too empty to even care anymore what her companion had witnessed. Not even their predicament interested her. Where they were, how they had gotten there, and thankfully, Finn didn't speak. Just let her be…

It was only much later, after she had drifted into a shallow sleep of exhaustion, then woken up to a little more light, that she began asking herself questions. That the old, strong Octavia returned.

Her gaze wandered a little aimlessly as she tried to collect what little strength her body had gained, before she moved to sit up. Finn had an arm around her, sitting at an awkward angle, and she was ready to tell him to let go when she saw that his eyes were closed. But that wasn't even what kept her from calling out to him. It wasn't like she had suddenly grown soft and worried about waking him up, robbing him of some much needed sleep.

What did stop her, however, was the sheen peeking out from under the sleeve of the arm he was holding her with. His weapon arm. Except. Kane had healed him months ago, hadn't he?

And yet his scar had a silvery gleam once again…

* * *

…

"Clarke, please stay down." Abby frowned at her pale daughter, exchanging a glance with a very concerned looking Raven. The girl had crossed her arms, waiting for Clarke to tell them what the hell had happened. Why she had almost passed out.

"I need to go and look for him," she was just saying, her eyes wide and full of an urgency that Abby understood all too well. Her daughter was in love, and whatever she had experienced - witnessed - over her mind-link, it couldn't have been good.

With a sigh, Abby shoved her down on the couch again, where she and Raven had carried her.

"Already on it, Clarke," Raven told her, "Nate sent out a scouting team to—"

"No." Clarke shook her head, looking frantic. "We need more than that. We need to try and recruit the Golden. More of the Silveren. We need more people, we need…"

"Clarke." Abby's soft voice didn't quite reach her daughter, and she pressed her lips together, trying to think of a different approach.

Her girl spoke right over here, gripping her hand with sudden ferocity. "We need to go now. Whatever happened, it was bad. He… he got injured really badly, but that isn't even all. I think…" She faltered, subconsciously pressing a hand against her stomach, making Abby smile at her sadly.

"The baby is fine," she whispered in reassurance, making Clarke nod without commenting. Abby wasn't sure whether there was a trade of relief in her daughter's face or not. She looked like she was far away.

"I think we're all in danger, mom. Whatever happened, it was big."

"Big how?" Raven interjected, her face showing a deep frown as she fidgeted with her arms.

"I... I don't know; the explosion was so... vast."

"Vast? As in, out of control vast? Like, could it maybe have been catalyzed by something and then…"

Clarke gave her a look that stopped her, a sudden understanding of whatever she must have seen, and Abby felt a vise around her heart as she saw Raven nod.

Marcus was down there, had poured his agent into the core. What if it had cost him his life?

"Shit," Raven cursed, gnawing on a finger as she began pacing the room. "We need a map," she suddenly added, looking from Abby to Clarke, one of her sudden epiphanies clearly in full progress. "We need a map detailing the mining sites. I need to figure out whether any of the mines could be connected through something other than the Big Ones. Maybe there's something in the ground… Maybe…" She faltered, her expression suddenly changing as her gaze zoned in on Clarke.

"What you… felt… Did you see Finn through Bell?" Her voice was a mere whisper, her face a pained mask when Clarke shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I don't… know."

Raven nodded, abruptly turning around. "I'll go find a map and check on Murphy."

Abby clenched her jaw, trying to ban the awful thought she had at being reminded of the kid. She didn't like him very much, and part of her wished it had been him instead of Bellamy on that trip. Then she wouldn't have to worry about Clarke right now. But she was being unfair, when knew that. Murphy may have done bad things, but they hadn't even been worse than what she had done herself. And he had done them for his people, just like her. That she didn't like him was not a good enough reason to wish something bad on him. Besides, he was already suffering as it was. If he survived, dealing with Emori's death would certainly have an effect on him.

And he could very well be the second case of a broken bond survivor. After her.

These growing similarities between her and Murphy were beginning to make her feel uneasy.

* * *

…

By day four of being trapped in the mining tunnel, Kane was ready to give up. What little food he had brought with him was gone. Trying to catch water running down the cool rock surrounding him was not an easy feat, and he was sure starvation was imminent if he didn't try and get them out of there soon.

For days, the fires raging outside had made it impossible to step outside or even close to the entrance, but within the last few hours or so he had begun to see a change. The red tinge had slowly dissipated a bit and he figured that the core had finally burnt out, the fire having traveled elsewhere to find new nourishment.

This was their chance.

With a determined inhalation, he gathered his remaining strength and began to pack up, shooting a sideways glance at Bellamy's prone form. The poor kid had been in and out of consciousness, never with him for much longer than a few lucid moments in between, and Marcus figured that it was for the better as the wound on the kid's back was devastating and raw. It was a miracle that he was even still alive, and he had to wonder whether it had anything to do with the kid's mind bond, because he was almost certain that without it, the kid would have long succumbed and died. Maybe Clarke was shielding him from the pain every so often, helping his body get enough rest to heal itself. One could only hope.

When he was done collecting his few belongings, his medical kit the most important thing among them, he went over to Bellamy, preparing himself for the next part. He was going to have to carry the boy, for however long it took, and very likely through a burnt wasteland.

He had had a lot of time to think over what could have gone wrong, and still he wasn't entirely certain. He suspected a net of metallic seams in the rock leading to and away from the core. But since they had no records from the Before, it was impossible to know for certain whether maybe there had been a different kind of mining site there back then.

Or… maybe even a type of volcanic activity. The earth had shaken for a long time after the first explosion, and Marcus had entertained the idea that maybe it had been a natural phenomenon after all that had exacerbated the situation. A volcano, or a tectonic instability could have also caused the devastation.

But of course all that was speculation, and right now he simply had more important matters to attend to. With flaring nostrils, he kneeled on one knee, carefully beginning to position Bellamy in such a way that he could lift him. Hoisting the kid's body over his own shoulders, he then staggered back up again, trying to gain his balance as Bellamy gave a low groan.

"Sorry, son," Marcus said, huffing under the added weight. "Once we're out there we'll have to try and build a travois for you. The beams in here are all of the carrying type so I couldn't use them..."

He sighed at the thought of trying to find materials out there. This was going to be a suicide mission if ever there was one. Chances were, all trees had been burned down by the fires, and he'd end up having to carry Bellamy the entire way back to Arkadia - or wherever he even made it before he'd surely collapse, too. But he couldn't give up either, couldn't just sit down and wait for death to come and claim him. No, a Kane fought till the end, whatever that meant.

With that, he took a few careful steps toward the entrance, a dim light quickly engulfing him, guiding the way out of the confines of the tunnel. Then they were on their way, for better or for worse.

* * *

...

"Finn. Finn..."

He tried to ignore the calls, didn't want to open his eyes. Everything was a wide ocean of blazing fluctuating waves, pulling him under and spitting him out, and he knew it was going to scorch him if he gave in and looked.

"Come on, Finn."

It wasn't Raven, but a female voice, which made him puzzle briefly before he remembered. Octavia. He had tried to get her away from the flames, and in a way he had. But they had both paid for it, had been captured when they had lain at the bottom of a canyon, miraculously still alive.

Of course he hadn't been conscious for that part, had only woken up much later, to find himself in this hellhole of a cell, watching helplessly as some blurry figures huddled around Octavia, doing something he couldn't quite see.

He remembered the strain of trying to get to her, fighting against merciless binds that had cut into him so much that his vision had exploded into stars. He remembered yelling for them to stop and leave her be.

And he remembered when that gruff somewhat familiar face had appeared not an inch from his to grin at him. Roan - if that had really been his name - grabbing his shoulders hard and telling him, "We're just helping your little friend, Eternal. If I were you, I'd be more worried about myself. Right now you're lucky to be alive, and it's only because of this here."

With that he had patted the soft spot under Finn's clavicle, making his eyes roll back instantly as the world disappeared in a zap of agony.

"Finn. Look at me."

Shaking his head, he grimaced, trying to let the spiral of pain and exhaustion drag him down again, but the voice - Octavia - was insistent, and he knew he couldn't just leave her alone now. Not here. He needed to help her get out.

Peeling his eyes open, lids flickering a couple of times as he adjusted to consciousness, he found Octavia kneeling sideways before him. Following a sudden impulse, he extended an arm to gently touch her shirt, noticing that it was not the same one she had worn before. This one, while also dark, was not torn, or bloodied, but clean.

Closing his eyes again to rest, he said, "Glad they gave you something else to wear…"

She scoffed. "Thanks for noticing?"

He chuckled, quickly stopping at the sensation it created. Swallowing, he noticed how dry his mouth felt. Water would have been nice…

"Stay with me."

He opened his eyes again to smile a lopsided smile at her. "You should probably lie down. I thought you were dead. All that blood…"

It was her turn to chuckle, then shake her head. "I thought _you_ were dead. You've been out for a while."

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to leave you alone in this mess…" His eyes rolled back a little bit again, and he felt her gently slap his cheek.

"No drifting off again, Finn. I need you to focus. We need to get out of here. We need to get you to Kane if he's still alive."

Octavia said something else, but it was so damn hard to pay attention.

"Where is 'here' anyways?" he asked, not expecting that she had an answer, but forcing himself to lock his wandering gaze on her face, to not be so damn weak anymore, to not be the pathetic nutcase everyone had pegged him for. Couldn't he for once be strong for someone?

This time, there was no Raven to have his back. No Raven he could easily impress with stupid decisions. Just harsh Octavia Blake who had just lost her boyfriend, and maybe even her brother. Who needed someone to look out for her.

She was shaking her head now, her features looking drawn. "Nyko's… friend was here, so I'm figuring we're wherever they keep their camp. - He thinks Bell is still alive…"

Finn nodded, hissing out when something dug into him, and lifting his arm - the one he could at least still move a little, he felt what seemed to be a piece of metal around his neck, almost like a collar pinning him to the wall behind him.

Octavia shook her head again. "Yeah, don't move," she said, "They seem to think you're quite the flight risk." She smiled softly, looking down, then pressed a hand against her side as she tried to move a bit, with a moan pushing her legs out from under her so she could rest beside him. "Me on the other hand… they're underestimating me like everyone else. Which is good." She nodded to where her legs were in shackles, seemingly the only binds keeping her.

He looked at her tiredly, making a face as he rested his head against the wall. "Maybe they just know you wouldn't get very far. Not with those injuries."

"Said the guy with the destroyed shoulder."

Raising an eyebrow at her, he scoffed. "I don't need a shoulder to walk."

"And I—" Abruptly, she broke off as her gaze fell on her left leg. The knee and thigh were thickly bandaged, as were her ankle and foot. The entire limb had gotten crushed well before their tumble, but now it was even worse. If Finn were to wager a guess, he doubted she'd ever walk normally again.

"I'm sorry," was all he said, making an attempt to gently nudge her, which he instantly paid for when his arm protested. Exhaling sharply, he looked down, confused by this new pain, and his breath caught when he saw the blaze running up his sleeve from his palm.

"Yeah," Octavia said quietly, "It's what I wanted to tell you… Your shoulder doesn't look much better—"

"It's why they haven't killed me yet," he realized, gritting his teeth as his hand went up to his shoulder, though he didn't dare look. As his fingers grazed his collarbone, he felt Octavia's hand on his wrist, gently pulling it away with a shake of her head. Finally he understood Roan's words. Whatever Kane's treatment solution had achieved, something had undone it all. And he didn't have a bandage anymore.

"It's why we need to get you to Kane. Or Abby," Octavia said, as if she had read his mind, and he looked at her with a frown.

Just great...


	10. Broken bond

...

It was dark when John woke up, finding himself lying in an unfamiliar bed, wearing unfamiliar clothes. Looking down on himself, he touched the fabric of his shirt, then rubbed his eyes as if to make sure he was seeing clearly.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly rolled to his side, then hoisted himself upright, swinging his feet down on the too cold floor, grimacing as he did.

"Couldn't have given me socks?" he muttered to himself with a roll of his eyes. Whoever had taken care of him clearly hadn't calculated that he would try and get up in the middle of the night when no one was around.

_What's going on, Em. You asleep? I can't even freaking feel you at all…_

He trailed off, stopping in his tracks. She wasn't just asleep. She was not there, not in his head. She was gone, his mind feeling almost lonely, strangely empty.

_Emori._

Scratching his head, he stood frozen for a moment, unsure of whether he should panic or be thrilled. Wasn't this what he had wanted ever since their minds had bonded? To be alone in his head again? Then why did it feel so… awful all of a sudden?

_Emori?_

The panic eventually won and he stumbled forward, through the darkness, frantically looking for the door. Finding a deserted hallway, he realized this was Kane's mansion. The way to the oversized study - the built in laboratory - was one he knew by heart, even in complete darkness, even when he was quite positively starting to panic.

But he didn't have to walk all that far…

He had barely taken the first few steps, when a door opened further down the hallway, and Raven Reyes appeared in the dim light coming from the room behind her, her hair wilder than usual, unkempt and not in its typical ponytail.

Soon after, another door opened and the doc appeared, looking similarly disheveled - or maybe just sleepy, which made sense because it was so dark, and why the hell was he up this late and when had it even turned dark in the first place and—

"Where's Emori?" The words were out before he had even finished thinking his damn thought to the end, and he ran a hand through his hair, wiping it over his eyes next as a nasty headache made itself known.

"Murphy, you shouldn't be up."

"Shouldn't be up?" His brows knit together in a frown that exacerbated his headache. Why the hell couldn't he seem to make sense of anything that was going on? And why was the doc so close to him all of a sudden. "You just teleport or something?"

She frowned at him as she shook her head, extending a hand to place it on his forehead, making him swat at her.

"What the hell are you doing? Where is Emori? Why am I even still here?!"

"You have a fever, John." Abby looked at him with open concern now, and a hint of wonder.

Wonder?

"Yeah, whatever. Maybe I caught a bug. This freaking no-summer is too damn wet and cold."

"John…"

He looked up when he heard Raven speak. Usually, there was a certain derisiveness in her tone when she spoke with him, something cold and detached. But right now, right now she sounded… sad, worried. She hadn't even called him by his last name.

An awful ache began spreading in him, starting somewhere in his chest, tendrils snaking out from there like a disease, clawing at him until he had trouble breathing.

He knew it then. With sudden clarity, he understood, even though no one had said anything yet. He just… knew.

"She's dead, isn't she? Emori?"

He scoffed softly, grinning a pained grin as he saw the two women's eyes on him, filled with more compassion than someone like him had ever gotten.

"She's dead?" His face turned into a grimace as he tried to comprehend, tried to fight the freaking tendrils from consuming him. She wasn't just gone out of his head… "But I'm still here."

Abby nodded, stepping closer yet again, but he whirled away from her, raising his arms as if to protect himself from her, even though of course she was just the doc.

His brain wasn't functioning, though. It was empty and foreign and while he had said the words, he couldn't seem to understand. Emori was dead and he was still alive. For how long?

"She can't be dead. That… that was never supposed to happen. We were supposed to sever the stupid bond, that's all. Not… not kill her?" It came out as a question, but of course it wasn't one. His chest hurt so bad that he almost wondered whether he was having a heart attack, his vision filling with the obnoxious lightning strokes of an oncoming migraine though his head already hurt.

 _Emori. Don't be gone…_ he said to her, not expecting a reply anymore, knowing now there would never be one again. "She can't be gone," he breathed, staring at Abby for a moment before his gaze found Raven's, clung to it as if his life depended on it. A part of him ordered himself to keep it together and not lose it completely in front of her. She had had enough to deal with with her obnoxious emotionally unstable wuss of a boyfriend. She didn't need to deal with him behaving similarly. But he couldn't function anymore, nothing was obeying him anymore.

She couldn't be gone. Emori couldn't be dead.

"I'm all alone now," he choked out, trying to shield his face with his arm as stupid tears began to well, "I'm alone. I'm… she's… don't be gone, don't be gone. Don't be—"

Arms came around him, arms that he tried to swat away for just a second, arms that were warm and comforting. Raven's arms that held him, held him when he sank to his knees, sank against her, unable to stop the sobs that were now raking his body, unable to care anymore.

His bond was severed, his mind only his again. It should have been a glorious moment, but all it was was agony.

* * *

…

Abby exchanged a glance with Raven, the girl mouthing for her to go. With a nod, she turned away, deciding to check on Clarke while she was up.

Seeing this usually rather cocky kid who hadn't yet made it easy for anyone to care much for him break down like that was one of the hardest things she had had to watch.

Not only because of him but the memories it evoked in her. Memories of a time she had hoped to never revisit, a time when she had lost her bond partner and husband Jake, had given up her daughter to keep her safe, had been completely and utterly alone.

She felt everything John Murphy felt, and more. Because she had been there. To think that there was finally someone who understood what it was like to lose a bond and live, it was almost a relief. She hated herself for even thinking that way, but it was true.

When Jake had died, from that first moment when she saw him writhe in agony because of what that Eternal had done to him to the last one, where his pain crescendoed only to abruptly stop, Abby had been there to witness it, to feel it. To helplessly experience him slipping under and away. All the images and emotions that had exploded inside of him and out in his last living second, they had suddenly been obliterated then vanished completely, out of her head but for a dim memory, and she had been so horribly awfully alone that she had broken down right there and then screaming not because of the pain of her own wounds, but the lack of Jake's presence.

The word 'devastated' had finally taken on meaning for her, because it was the only one that could begin to describe how she felt.

Pressing her fingers against the root of her nose now, she tried to relax, to focus on the present, on something else so as not to slip down into those depressing thoughts again.

Even after all these years, she still missed him, still felt lonely without him. An emptiness was inside of her that neither her reunion with Clarke nor her careful relationship with Marcus Kane could fix, and she knew that John Murphy still had a long journey ahead of him. If he survived…

The thing was, people out there were waiting for results, were desperate for a "cure" for the bonds, too. The Golden had recently grown more and more upset with the fact that Kane was often out there helping people with Eternal wounds _and_ Eternal soldiers likewise, unable to understand why he even took pity on who they considered to be monsters.

As if their tensions with the Neutral Zone weren't enough to deal with, that development endangered the fragile peace agreement they had had for barely a year now. But if her people knew what a strain it really was to lose a bond, how difficult it was, how taxing, maybe then they'd not be so eager anymore to be cured.

Maybe John Murphy's treatment could help them all. Two "healed" former Bonded surely had more of an impact than one. Or so she hoped.

"Mom?"

Without paying much attention, Abby had reached the room Clarke slept in, a precaution, because she hadn't been willing to send her daughter back to the camp in her current state, pregnant - and with her partner, her boyfriend gravely injured as far as they knew.

What Abby hadn't told Clarke was that she fully intended on trying to treat her with the same concoction they had used on Murphy if she so much as showed the slightest sign that things with Bellamy were going south. She was not willing to let that Silveren drag her child down with him, no matter whether he was a good kid or not.

She simply couldn't.

Now here she was, a tired looking Clarke slowly sitting up in bed to face her, a concerned frown appearing on her face at seeing her mother in her room so late at night.

"Just wanted to check on you," she whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed, sweeping a few strands of hair out of her daughter's face.

"Is everything alright?"

Abby sighed, debating whether she should tell Clarke about it or not. She settled for a compromise. "John woke up."

Clarke's eyes widened. "How is he? Did he say anything?"

"He knows that Emori is dead…" Abby's voice was not much more than a hoarse whisper as if all strength had left her. "Raven is with him now."

Clarke nodded, lost in thought. "I don't like the guy, but… I feel awful for him. I mean, you probably know best what he feels like now…" Her voice ebbed away as she looked at her mom, both women growing quiet before Abby nodded.

"It's… not easy. But he's strong, so I have confidence in his ability to come back from this."

There was something unspoken between them, half acknowledged in the silence of the room, but then Abby let the moment pass.

"Anything from Bellamy?"

Clarke shook her head, and Abby's gaze fell on where she was now holding her daughter's hand, feeling the warmth even through her glove. No, she couldn't let her go, not again.

"I'm scared, mom. I should feel more from him. He shouldn't be able to ward himself off from me, not in his condition—"

"We don't even know what his condition is, sweetheart."

Clarke's chin wobbled, her eyes filling with tears. "I can't lose him."

Abby wanted to say "you won't", but she didn't want to make promises no one could keep. The truth was, whatever had happened, she highly doubted it was going to end very well.

Aside from Bellamy, there had been one other Bonded among the group of people that had left for the mining site, and she had only recently been informed that their partner had been found dead.

There were no other news from their mission, and whatever had happened to Bellamy didn't bode well for their success.

They had all seen the remnants of a large explosion wafting in the air a few days ago, a thick smoke clouding the sky, making the temperature drop a degree or two. There had been a rumble in the ground far worse than back at the Captain's mining site, a detail they had all noticed yet not spoken about because the implications were just so… terrifying.

Whatever had happened, it had not gone according to plan, but the mining site had exploded. The question now was: had anyone survived? Had their people? Had the Zoners?

When Abby remained quiet, Clarke abruptly took her hand away, straightening her back. "I've spoken to Nate, Titus, one of Indra's people… and Jaha."

Abby perked up at the name. "Thelonious?"

Clarke nodded. "We're going to go after them. Jaha said he'll send troops, and we'll get our people ready too. I'll be at the helm—"

"Clarke, that's insane." Abby got up, wiping her hands over her face in disbelief. She felt a sudden heat and temper creep into her at hearing her daughter's plans. "You can't just drop everything and go out there unprepared."

"I'm not unprepared. We've had a few days to mull this over. We've discussed a strategy—"

"A strategy?!" Abby huffed, rolling her eyes. "Why the hell am I hearing about this only now? Clarke, you're pregnant for goodness's sake, your partner is hurt and might die, you can't honestly think it's a good idea to leave now on this suicide mission!"

"I know what I'm doing." Clarke's mouth was a thin displeased line. She didn't like her mom's reaction, but Abby didn't care. She didn't. This was her daughter, and she was behaving stupidly.

"Are you sure? Because it doesn't sound like it! We don't even know what happened. How bad it is—"

"That's exactly why we need to go out there and see for ourselves! Would you rather just sit here and wait? Work happily away on that bond treatment that seems to bring more grief than anything?"

"It could save lives! It could save yours!" There, she had said it. And Clarke looked so stricken as if Abby had slapped her.

"You don't think he's going to live."

It was Abby's turn to press her lips together, shoulders sagging as she did. "No," she eventually said, "I don't think he is."

Unshed tears made Clarke's eyes look watery and sad as she nodded her head, grimacing. "Okay. - But I do. I'm going to make sure of it."

"I can't help you if you're out there, Clarke…"

"Then don't."

Abby closed her eyes, taking a deep heaving breath. Then she looked at her daughter and they both knew Abby was going to accompany Clarke on that trip, anyways. No matter what she had just said, she wasn't going to let her child leave, not like that. And if she could do anything to help, she would.

"When are we leaving?" she therefore asked, raising her chin high as she looked at her daughter, trying hard not to break, to stay stoic.

"Tomorrow at noon. We're meeting at the eastern gates."

With a nod, Abby turned around and walked to the door, stopping briefly before exiting. "I'll see you then," she said, then left without looking at Clarke again.

* * *

…

When she was alone again, Clarke sighed, falling back onto her pillows. She knew she should have told Abby about her plans earlier, but she hadn't known how. Her mother wanted her safe, and far away from any battles. She understood that, she really did. But Clarke couldn't just stay behind and wait and hope for the best. Bellamy was out there, hurt and possibly alone, and she needed to get to him. Needed to see him, to help him. Hold him.

 _Please talk to me, Bell. I know you're there. I can feel your pain at the edges of my conscience._ She sighed, allowing the tears to finally fall. She felt so helpless and alone without him there. Sobbing, she focused her attention inward again, in search of that pain, the only reminder she had that he was indeed still there. It was bubbling under the surface, threatening to spill over any second, but it didn't. It hadn't, yet. But she wanted it to.

 _It's alright,_ she told him, _Let_ _me share this with you, let me take it on. You don't have to shoulder this alone… Please. - I'm coming for you, okay? I'm coming for you…_

And then, eventually, a gate seemed to open inside of her, her barriers breaking away, or maybe his, and a tidal wave washed over to her, so vast that she was drowning for a moment, lost and confused and in so much pain, until she could feel him there, too, his presence, and the sensation grew the slightest bit more bearable.

 _I_ _got_ _you_ , she breathed and pulled his conscience with her, over to their shared space before she erected her walls anew, shielding them both.


	11. Alive

…

Lincoln appeared out of the forest, fire blazing behind him, flames licking at the looming canopies above his head. Octavia should have felt worried, should have come racing toward him, but she stood frozen, smiling at seeing him again.

"You're dead," she breathed, not comprehending, and not caring, and he smiled right back, stopping just a few feet away from her. She ached for him, wanted to touch him, but abruptly, the world darkened as fiery branches rained down on them, and a huge log came crashing and all she could do was watch and scream as Lincoln went up in flames.

"Octavia! O!"

She blinked, moving too quickly as she shot upright, her abdomen and leg both protesting, making her yelp. Looking down, she saw the mess that was her left leg, only then turning her head to focus on the voice again.

"You okay?"

Finn was looking at her with concern, and part of her was ready to slap that stupid expression right out of his face.

"I'm fine," she snapped, "You should worry about yourself." His eyes flickered, the corners of his mouth moved briefly, but he didn't say anything, just averted his gaze, turning to the side as best as his collar would allow.

Deflating, she kept staring over at him, this kid that she had once thought was kind of cute. Then he had turned into this harsh detached version of himself and she had felt sorry for him for a bit before growing annoyed with his constant tantrum-y behavior. Now her view of him was changing yet again, even though she didn't want to admit it to herself just yet.

But they were in this together, and she'd probably do well accepting that and trying to be friendly, but she couldn't.

She was surprised at how strong he suddenly was, however, whether she wanted to see it or not. Suddenly, he was the collected one, who kept it together, didn't complain about his pain or anything, hadn't given up yet, either. He had even saved her back there from the flames.

The weak nutcase was strong. While Octavia Blake was fading fast.

She swallowed, trying not to start crying, and feeling a sob rise in her anyways. Because Lincoln was dead, Bell probably lost, her awful mother dead, and her father a freaking rapist that had never cared about her. Now the world was coming to an end while she sat here, chained, her leg crushed and pulsing with excruciating pain, and she couldn't do anything about it all, couldn't even think clearly anymore.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, giving up the fight, letting the grief wash over her. "I'm sorry, I just…" But the words wouldn't come, her feelings a jumbled mess she couldn't translate into anything verbal. She wanted him to understand because she needed someone to understand, and he was there, with her. But she couldn't say anything, could only sob, burying her face in her hands so she wouldn't have to see him look at her, dismiss her, think less of her for having treated him the way she had even though she was no better than him.

She sobbed, aching for Lincoln, for his calm demeanor, his strength, his love. For Bell, who had always come looking for her. Now there was no one left. And she missed them too much, too much to know how to even go on.

Falling in on herself she remained, until she felt a soft touch against her shoulder, a hand that she shook off so vehemently that she heard him stifle a pained gasp, and still he didn't let that deter him. Tried again, and again, until she allowed herself to accept the gesture, accept his comfort, and she turned halfway to bury her face against his chest, feeling the light touch of his hand against the back of her head as she cried, the beat of his heart close to her ear, and it felt… good.

* * *

…

The days passed in a blur, one big neverending veil that had laid itself over the land and that only sporadically lifted a little so he could see. Now was such a moment, and Bellamy opened his eyes only to blink against the too bright light, moaning softly at the searing sensation still rippling across his back with every movement, no matter how small. It took him a moment to comprehend that he was lying on his side, and that he was moving. Or… something was moving him. And not a horse.

 _You okay, princess?_ he asked, too weak to address whoever was with him, desperate to speak to no one but Clarke, anyways.

 _Am_ I _okay?_

There was light amusement in her tone, a chuckle, a flutter, and it made him smile briefly.

 _I'm sorry,_ he said, closing his eyes, trying to stay afloat on top of the pain, knowing it was only possible because she was there. Already the pain grew in intensity again, and he grimaced, unable to function properly, unable to stay with her even though he wanted to.

It had cost him everything to keep her secluded from his agony, to protect her and the baby, but in the end he had given up, accepting her, accepting her help, because he couldn't be strong anymore.

He was done.

 _I'm coming for you,_ she told him again, and he couldn't argue, couldn't tell her no. He was too relieved, too ready for this to be over, and since he couldn't wish for death, he wished for her.

 _I know,_ she said, sounding pained and sympathetic, and he felt weak and stupid, but she wouldn't allow him to think that way, either.

_You're not alone. Who is with you? Can you show me what the landscape around you looks like?_

He tried to send her images of what he saw, even though it wasn't much. A burnt desert, dusted with ashes, barely any life around. Incinerated trees, bare hills, a sky so dark that it could have been night, but he could still see the outline of the sun hiding behind that darkness.

 _Did we destroy the world?_ he asked, whether himself or her or his silent companion, he wasn't sure. No one answered.

 _I'm on my way. We'll find you_ , Clarke said, and he drifted off again, clinging to her voice like an anchor as the pain consumed him once again.

* * *

…

Kane rapped the can he was holding in one hand with his fingers, checking whether it made an off sound. It wouldn't help anyone if he managed to poison himself by accident, or poison Bellamy…

It was a bit of a miracle that they both were even still alive, especially the kid.

He needed to get the boy back home, though, so that he could treat him with his cure. The wound on the back was a garish molten mass of metal and burnt skin that needed better treatment, but that wasn't the only thing that concerned Marcus. As he had wondered - or feared, really, the Eternal metal had indeed wreaked havoc in Bellamy's body, sending its nanobots out to reactivate the Eternal scar.

This was a worrisome precedent endangering his entire undertaking of ridding the world of all Eternals and Eternal wounds. If it was so easy to undo his cure's effects, they were all in danger of falling victim to Nyko's bigger plan. Marcus hadn't forgotten how militant his friend had grown before their ways had parted completely. The man had made strange alliances for a forester, venturing out deep into the Neutral Zone, so that he could arm the people and fight Golden and Silveren alike. If he found out how easily he could reactivate all the Eternals Kane had already treated or started to treat, he might decide it was easier to capture and brain wash them instead of experimenting for himself.

Which would mean he'd be ready to establish his own Eternal army much sooner than anticipated. But as concerning as that thought was, now was not the time to think about it. There were more pressing matters, one of them being the fact that food was damn hard to come by, and Marcus had no idea where they even were.

He had been trying to find at least one of their people out here, just one, but had only found bodies. It was awful. He wondered whether this was what life had been like after the Big Ones had struck. Since there were no records of the time, he could only speculate, but it seemed just as bleak as he had always envisioned the end of the Before would have been.

Now here he was, fighting with a stupid can of food that didn't have a label anymore, and he hoped it wasn't somehow contaminated, or worse, more beans.

He had found them a resting place against the rocky wall of a smaller canyon, where they were out of sight of any passers by. He didn't want to risk the wrong people finding them, although he was starting to think that anyone finding them would by now be a good thing.

Prying the can open with the sharp end of a stone, he rolled his eyes when he eventually opened the can to indeed find more beans. At least they were nourishing, a good source of protein, something they desperately needed. But his refined palate missed the treats he could get at home. Home. He grimaced at the thought, hoping that Abby was still there when he got back.

"You haven't heard from Clarke lately, have you?" he asked his usually rather quiet companion, startling a bit when the kid groaned softly as if in reply. Rushing over to the travois Bellamy was still lying on under a thick blanket Marcus had scavenged on day three, or maybe four, he knelt down beside him to check his vital signs, coaxing the kid a bit when he noticed that his eyelids were fluttering.

"Bellamy. Can you hear me, son?… You're with me. Marcus. Kane," he said, feeling a bit dumb, but continuing anyways. When the boy opened his eyes, his gaze flitting around for a while before settling on Marcus, the older man smiled at him with genuine relief. "It's good to see you awake, my friend."

"Kane?" The word was a mere croak, but it was the first thing the kid had said in at least a week, and that alone was cause for a little celebration. Maybe he wouldn't even have to force any mushed food into the boy today, but could actually make him eat it.

"Yes," he said, and gently patted Bellamy's cheek. "Welcome back." Then, signaling with a raised finger, he abruptly got up. "Hold on a second. You need to eat. I've barely been able to get anything into you, but you need your strength, and…" he trailed off, already back with the can of beans, smiling at his frowning companion, who shook his head as soon as Marcus dug his fingers into the can and offered him some.

"No…"

"I'm afraid you'll have to. Bellamy. I need you to work with me here. Do you remember what happened?"

He eyed the younger man carefully, waiting for a reply that he got in the form of a short jerk of the head, followed by a sucked in breath.

"Don't move too abruptly. You've been badly injured. Your back…" Marcus contemplated how much to tell him, then decided on the truth. "Got burnt by spraying hot metal. I got most of the metal off, but the skin… Bellamy, under better circumstances you would have needed a skin graft. But out here…"

"The mine," the kid interrupted him, and Marcus nodded.

"We got there in time. But.. something went wrong and I still don't know what. The whole thing exploded when we were still down there."

"O."

Marcus worked his lips for a moment, lowering his head. "I haven't seen her. I'm sorry. I haven't seen anyone…"

Bellamy remained silent, awfully so, his eyes filling with more pain again. Marcus offered him the beans again, cajoling him to eat. "It's important. You can't die, you know what would happen if you did."

The poor kid's eyes rolled back a little, as he bared his throat involuntarily, fighting the pain and losing. "It hurts," he said, sounding smaller than Kane had ever heard him.

"I know," he said, "I'm trying my best to soothe the burns, but… we need to get you back."

"She said she's coming, but I couldn't tell her where we are…"

Marcus frowned warily. The kid was talking about Clarke of course. This was their chance. Maybe their' bond could save them after all. "You talked to her?" he asked, growing excited when Bellamy nodded weakly before finally accepting a bit of the beans, chewing with such labored movements that Marcus had to look away.

"Good, that's good. Let me try and relay a bit about where we've been going. Maybe they have a map, maybe they can figure out where we are…"

He had to hope because if he didn't, they would soon be lost. Giving Bellamy a few more beans, he began to tell him about their journey, trying to recall every little detail that could become important for their rescue.

* * *

…

"She's strong. I have to admit I'm a little impressed." Roan smiled, half lost in thought as Echo, his second in command, stood in front of him with a scowl.

The young woman had just brought Octavia Blake over to what Roan liked to call his throne room, mostly as a jab to his overbearing mother who had begun strutting around as if she were a queen when the Silveren empire had fallen, and that was in truth just a large dark room that may have once been a factory of something in the long gone Before.

Now he watched Echo with an amused air, before getting up off his seat to walk toward her and her hostage.

The girl was a great fighter herself. Even so, an injured Octavia had just managed to hit her in the face so hard that Echo's eye was already beginning to swell shut, and she was not happy about that at all. She stood hovering over the Silveren, holding her arms in a rather rough and uncomfortable looking grip, and Roan felt the need to step in, because after all he had plans for the Captain's daughter, and for those he needed her in better condition than she currently was.

"Enough," he said, his usually gruff and rumbly tone a little softer as he almost gently laid a hand on hers. She shot him a flickering glare, then looked away, abruptly letting go of Octavia, making the girl slump to the ground rather heavily.

An almost yell escaped her, and Roan tilted his head, frowning as he watched the girl hold her broken, mangled leg. They needed to take better care of her.

"Go and send someone for her injuries," he commanded, making Echo's flickering glare return. He could tell she wanted to say something, but she caught herself, and half bowing, turned around to walk away.

Now it was just him and that fierce little Silveren, and he brought out his dagger with a casual motion of his hand, not underestimating her even in her current state. Because he had seen her fight before. Had seen how she took on his men - Nyko's men, and had come out on top most of the time. Until the explosion had taken them all by surprise, even her, who he suspected had been in on that plan.

Yet something must have gotten out of control.

He took a deep breath, squinting down where she stared up at him, her eyes dark and angry.

"You're a fighter, Octavia Blake." If she was surprised that he knew her name, she didn't show it, her stare impenetrable and unwavering. She had lifted herself onto her upper arms, her back bowed like that of a cat so she could look at him while her legs were useless underneath her. "I'll have them fix your leg—"

"It can't be fixed."

She speaks, he thought, his smile widening. "We'll see," he said, hunching down beside her so they were eye level with each other. Because he was no king, and he didn't need the same stupid methods his mother was so fond of. The woman seemed to think she was Captain Aurora reincarnate, but he wasn't going to allow her to make the same mistakes the Silveren had made.

"Let me go, or kill me."

His eyebrows raised, he scoffed. "I will do neither. I want you on my side, Octavia. I've heard a lot about you. You've been with the Neutral Zone for a while before… before you returned to help your brother with his plan. Now don't get me wrong, I like what you did. In theory. I like that the Captain is history - sorry for your loss by the way," he winked at her briefly, satisfied when that did get a reaction out of her. A soft hiss, but better than nothing. Whatever she tried to make them believe, or maybe believed herself, her spirits weren't broken yet.

"But it's not how peace works. Violence creates more violence, it's been like that forever. Case in point being that the Last War might have destroyed most of the world, and yet we're at it again. It wasn't the last after all. Neither will this one be. And to be prepared, we need better protection. We need the same tech. We need to be equals…"

Octavia chuckled, looking a bit like a lunatic. "And how do I factor in to that? You think I'd help you steal Eternal tech when all I've tried is to eradicate it?"

With a mild expression he waited for her to calm down a bit again. He knew the trump card was his, and she knew it too. They were playing here, acting. And he could allow her the courtesy of pretending she had a choice if it ended with her helping him instead of choosing death.

He'd hate for her to go that way, but he would do it, would kill her and send her out as a message to her people, to her obnoxious older brother. If he was still alive…

They remained silent for a long time, just staring at each other, Octavia's pain quite obviously growing in intensity the longer she sat there with her leg crumpled underneath her. She tried to shift her weight, never leaving him out of her sight, but it was a struggle and she soon gave up, her lids flickering dangerously the closer she got to passing out.

"Now would be a good time to decide," he told her, crossing his arms in front of him, briefly looking up when he heard a noise at the door. Nyko was there, currently their only medic, and he signaled for him to wait. "So?"

Her lips twitched, the muscles in her jaw dancing as she bit down. Looking down on the ground for almost a minute, she seemed to contemplate his offer. When she looked up again, he saw resignation, but also something else. He understood what it was as soon as she answered.

"My friend needs an Eternal bandage. If you can get him one, I'll help you."

He raised his eyebrows at her, pressing his lips together briefly as he stifled a smirk. She was smart. Finding an Eternal bandage was almost as impossible as finding an Eternal Weapon just lying around.

"And if I can't?"

The trump was hers now, and they both knew it. He should have felt more annoyed by it, and in a way he was, but he also rather enjoyed seeing her aloofness return. This girl was something.

"He will die. And if he does, so will everyone else you try to turn into an Eternal."

Roan looked at her, frowning in thought. Was she telling him the truth? Did the Eternals die that easily?

"You might also want to consider that he's your key to success. We've treated a lot of Eternals this last year. Most of them are almost completely cured by now. Finn was one of the first. If his scar could get reactivated, so will theirs." There was something akin to grudging triumph in her tone when she continued. "It'll be a lot easier to do that than create your own. The experiments alone would cost you a lot of people…"

She had a point of course.

"What about the weapons? Surely you took care of all of them with your little magic potion."

"We did. Most of them anyways... But I'm sure the reason you keep me here is because you know that I have the location of other mining sites."

She glared at him and he grinned, nodding.

"You are correct. Will you help me find them?"

"I'll help you find _one_. If you can promise me you'll not use the tech to start a war. Because if you do…"

She tilted her head, jerking it sideways, showing her disdain, and Roan couldn't help but nod. She held a strange power over him, and he'd better not show her as much. Of course her unvoiced threat was rather weak at best, so it was easy to agree. By the time they'd be that far into the process, he hoped she'd be well on their side anyways.

"We have a deal."


	12. Run

...

It was the first sunny day in a damn long time, but John sat in Kane's large kitchen, staring into his mug rather than out the large framed windows letting in the light of late morning.

Where he was, it was still dark.

"Hey…" Raven had appeared at the doorway, slowly waking into the room to grab herself some tea as well.

Hearing her made him cringe as he all too vividly remembered his awkward breakdown the last time he had seen her.

He nodded to her, the only courtesy he could muster to not seem like a complete asshole, then he stared back at the murky liquid before him that had cooled down so much that he knew he wouldn't care drinking it anymore.

"I'm sorry," he abruptly blurted, surprising himself, wondering whether there was still someone else reining his thoughts and decisions after all. No, when he reached out and searched, more out of habit than anything, there was only emptiness, and his own pathetic self.

Raven frowned at him, moving a chair to sit down next to him rather than opposite and her closeness made his skin bristle.

"No need," she said, nothing else, and it made him look at her for real this time, open and direct. She gazed straight back, and he shrugged, slouching back a little in his chair.

"So, is everyone disappointed that I'm still around?"

She scoffed, her brow knitting together briefly, ponytail dancing as she turned her head to take a sip of her tea, cursing slightly when she burned her tongue.

"They're glad you're still here, actually, you idiot. - Though probably less because of your charming nature and more because it means what we've been working so hard on is beginning to show some results."

Her honesty was disarming, and a bit shocking. But what had he expected? Of course no one really cared about him as a person. No one ever had, other than Emori, and that was mostly due to the bond.

With a sigh, he took a sip after all, just to have something to do, but he grimaced when he tasted the too bitter liquid and shoved the stupid mug away.

"Yeah, not my favorite either. We need to get Kane some new tea." Raven shot him a glance, a smile now on her features that he couldn't help but reciprocate, if only for a second.

"He has all this money and no taste. Bad combination," he said, making her chuckle, and it was a strangely mesmerizing sound. He didn't think he'd ever heard her chuckle before. Not in the entire year they had spent together. They had joked around at times, but she had mostly rolled her eyes at him, and they had bantered back and forth a bit before she had poked him with a needle, and then he'd been on his way again, and that had been that.

They had never talked much. Not really. Not about anything that mattered. Except for that one time when she had confided in him how Finn was struggling and how she didn't know what to do and he had gotten to hold her for a while before they had parted, pretending all was well again.

Were they going to do the same now? Because he wasn't sure he could. Swallowing, he closed his eyes for a moment, before he laid his hands on the table and pushed himself up.

"I should get going," he said, reaching for his cup as an afterthought, startling when Raven laid a hand over his.

Their gazes met again, and he felt himself falter, crumble. Taking a few deep breaths, he tried to hold it together.

"I'm sorry about Emori," Raven whispered, pressing down on his hand a little, and he felt a snarky reply wanting to make its way out and clenched his jaw to stop himself, averting his gaze as he did.

"Yeah."

"You know Clarke went on her way to look for our people, right? For Kane, too."

He nodded, unsure why she told him. It wasn't like he could help with that any more. Without the bond he was pretty damn useless, just another city guard these days. Raven swallowed, retrieving her hand, leaving a cold spot on his. Walking over to the sink, he didn't look at her, wondering whether she still looked at him. He could almost feel her gaze on his back.

"Can I tell you something awful?"

"We all know I'm the master of saying awful stuff, so… sure." He tried to make it sound funny, but it fell short. She didn't seem to notice or care however, her eyes suddenly swimming with tears, making his heart clench. He didn't know what it was with this girl and him, but she always got to him, even when he thought he didn't care.

"I'm… kinda relieved Finn is missing."

She made a pause as if she expected him to be appalled, but he wasn't. He had turned around, his hands grabbing the counter as he leaned back, waiting.

She took a shuddering breath before she continued. "I love him. I really do. With all my heart I love him. But I'm glad he's gone and that I don't have to deal with how disconnected he is, how withdrawn. That I don't have to deal with this shell of who he used to be. I've missed him for a long time already, and now that he's actually gone, I feel like I can finally allow myself to grieve him." She cry-chuckled, wiping at her eyes. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this…"

He did, which made him smile sadly. "Because you know I'm glad Emori is gone, too. It's not quite the same, yet in a way it is…"

She raised her head, leaning forward a bit, then nodded. "Yeah," she allowed, "Maybe…"

* * *

…

Thelonious Jaha was a force to be reckoned with, had always been. When Clarke had first seen him again, she hadn't known what to do or say to him. His son was dead, his son that had been so entwined with her own life and struggles lately, and she couldn't help but feel like he was going to blame her for it.

But then he had embraced her, like the father she didn't have anymore, as if she were the child _he_ didn't have anymore, and it had felt right.

She had finally gotten a chance to talk about Wells and his sacrifice, to tell his father that in the end, his son had known what was right. Who he was. And she had seen it in Thelonious's face, how it gave him a little bit of peace.

"I always knew he would remember," he had said with a small smile that had been a little sad, but mostly fond, then he had thanked her for sharing her memories with him, before the present had begun to preoccupy them with its new problems and struggles.

Now here they were, sitting on their horses next to each other, on a dangerous mission to look for their lost troops that had vanished over two weeks ago, not a single one returning from the Black Ruins. Clarke didn't know what to think of it all. It was as if there was something dark and dangerous looming out there and she was stupid enough to walk straight toward it. It wasn't unlike what she had had to do before, after bonding with Bellamy. Running off into the unknown, to save his life, and hers.

And yet everything was different now. She was pregnant, Bellamy gone without being able to tell her much about where he was, and a large number of their people with him. She didn't have a choice. These people, not only the ones who had vanished, but the ever growing number in the camps, and the loyalists in the city, they all relied on her, looked up to her for guidance, and she wasn't going to let them down.

"To the Black Ruins first," Jaha was saying, and she focused back on him, nodding her agreement.

They were going there first to find out what had happened before venturing out to find their lost. The Black Ruins would be their destination for now, but she hoped they'd find their people sooner.

With a grim and determined expression Jaha took the bridles of his horse and gently spoke to the animal before galloping off with a last nod in Clarke's direction. The man's hair had grown a lot grayer recently. Clarke thought he finally looked like the wise man he was supposed to be. One of their commanders, one of them.

"We'll find them," he had told her, and she hoped he was right.

Not waiting either, she raced after him quickly, welcoming the wind in her face and even the slightly ashen smell that had begun to tinge the air more and more over the last few days. At least she was doing something, was finally on her way. She was going to find out what had happened.

And hopefully, she would soon be reunited with Bellamy.

 _I'm coming for you_ , she told him again, like a mantra she kept repeating all day, although she was almost certain he couldn't hear her right now. _I'm on my way…_

* * *

…

When Octavia wasn't there the moment he woke up out of an uneasy sleep, Finn panicked for one awful minute. He wasn't able to breathe or think clearly, until he slowly but surely managed to calm down. It wasn't like he could do much from where they had chained him to the wall, anyways, unless he wanted to kill himself of course.

Which he kind of did. As the pain was growing, coursing through his body ever more viciously, it was becoming unbearable. With his scar back to its old blazing silvery hue, he knew it wasn't going to take long for the sheen to spread and consume him, because he didn't have a bandage anymore. He hadn't thought he'd ever need one again, or he would have kept it. Another stupidity on his part, because who went out to an Eternal mining site without bringing the one thing they knew helped with Eternal wounds?

Bellamy had probably been smarter. Kane for sure.

Why had they even brought him? He was hopeless, crippled by his PTSD - if he wanted to be generous - but probably rather a wuss gone crazy because he was too weak to deal with the world.

He knew that Indra had insisted he come, for some reason she had never truly disclosed. The warrior had pretended it was because he was one of the first healed Eternals, but what did that even mean or matter? The woman would probably change her mind if she knew that it was him of all people who was with Octavia. The girl was almost an ersatz daughter to Indra after all, and no one in their right mind would think he could help anyone in a tough situation, least of all someone they cared about a lot.

But wallowing in self pity and telling himself how weak and useless he was wasn't going to help anyone. He needed to get it together, and fast.

Octavia was probably just gone because they had plans for her. Once she was back, and she would be, he might as well try his best to help her escape before he died of this godforsaken Eternal curse. With that thought in mind, he channeled his sudden surge of anger and determination and grabbed the collar around his neck hard, ignoring all protests of his body. Pushing against it with all his might, he tried to pry it off, or make it dislodge from its hinges in the wall. He needed to work on this while Octavia was gone, needed to try and get out, so that maybe he could surprise whoever came to bring O back and help her make a dash for it.

He wouldn't have much time left, of that he was sure, and he'd be damned if he didn't try to go out on a high note, maybe making Raven proud so that she could finally move on, and let him go…

* * *

…

Octavia sniffed, secretly relieved that she hadn't cried out when Nyko of all people had tended to her injuries. Now the man was done, his strangely bright eyes piercing her before he got up and turned away to face Roan.

"This is not going to end well," he told the other man, but Roan merely scoffed.

"Is that your professional opinion on the state of her health, my friend, or something else?"

Nyko grumbled, shaking his head, and it dawned on Octavia then that Kane's former friend had never been the force behind all this. It had always been Roan.

"Well, the stomach wound is healing nicely. She got lucky there that she didn't perforate her intestines or any other vital organs. But her leg doesn't look good."

"As long as she'll live."

"If you let her, that shouldn't be a problem."

Roan laughed at what he clearly perceived as a joke, and Octavia grew cold inside. She was in deep shit. At the mercy of these men - and the awful girl that had carried her out here, and who was now back, staring daggers at her.

"Return her to the cell, Echo," Roan addressed her right then, before looking straight at Octavia, while still talking to Echo. "Bind her hands better this time; she's a fierce one and you underestimated her. Don't make that mistake again. - As for you…" He winked at Octavia, making her clench her teeth so as not to snap at him yet. She needed to keep as low a profile as she possibly could, needed to stay in his good favors. "If your friend can survive long enough, I'll bring you the bandage."

"You better hurry then. Because if he dies, the deal is off the table."

Yeah. Who had she been kidding… Thankfully, Roan didn't seem phased, just grinned at her one last time before motioning for Echo to take her away, then he turned his focus back toward Nyko, laying an arm around the man's neck in an intimate and almost conspiratorial gesture.

Octavia felt herself being lifted under her arms by two bystanding men, Echo roughly ordering them to get going. "Watch her leg," she spat, obviously not because she cared, but because Roan had ordered her to be careful. Thus they went on their way, back through the dark hallways they had come through before, down a number of stairs and then some more, always further down until they had reached what must have once been the basement of a large building and now was half buried by debris where part of that building had long ago collapsed. Octavia tried to memorize the way, but it was so dark and confusing at times, and her consciousness was struggling with the rough movements of the men carrying her along that she doubted she was getting it all.

Then they were back, Echo stepping forward, shooting her a nasty smirk as she slowly unlocked the large metal door in front of her. Octavia shook a little under the harsh grasps, angry now, ready to strike the stupid woman. But she knew she should probably wait until she was a little better, at least her stomach healed. Until Roan had procured a bandage for Finn.

If he kept his promise… if he even knew how to.

At that moment she could see it all so clearly that she slumped in on herself a little bit in despair. This was never going to work. They wouldn't let either of them go. They would use them, would probably experiment on Finn, would force her to help in what amounted to mass torture, and she knew she couldn't do it. No one's life was worth that, certainly not hers or Finn's.

She might as well start fighting now, dying a warrior, making Indra proud, making Bell proud, and Lincoln. Then she would join them.

…

So she suddenly bucked, the movement tugging on the men's arms, making them stumble and curse, before she felt Echo grab her, ready to toss her into the room.

The door opened much louder than planned, banging against the side where the room had caved in centuries ago, and Octavia anticipated a harsh fall to the floor, Echo probably attacking her with her baton, but then she felt a whiff of air as something fast blurred past her, _someone_ , and she was surprised to see Finn hurl himself at their three captors, taking them on with a sudden ease he shouldn't have been capable of, certainly not in his current condition.

He whirled around, hitting one of the men over the head with what looked like the broken remnants of the collar he had previously worn, then went on to slam his outstretched foot against the solar plexus of the other one.

Octavia stumbled, barely managing not to fall on her injured leg as both men dropped her, and finally her senses were back enough so that she could assist him in taking on Echo.

The woman was a much fiercer opponent, dangerous and lithe, and with a swift movement she managed to hit Finn where it would harm him the most, her baton connecting with his clavicle, making his knees give out as he went down, yelling out in agony, but still brandishing the piece of metal like it was a weapon.

Echo grinned at him. "Give up, kid. You're not an Eternal anymore, not without your sword. And don't think we need you alive, because we don't."

"I know." He scoffed, heavily getting up again, Echo waiting for him to be more of an equal again. It was going to be her weakness and her downfall. That she underestimated her opponents. With an angry grin, Octavia abruptly propelled herself forward, using the velocity of her momentum to crash into the other woman's legs, making her lose her balance and topple forward.

Exchanging a brief glance with Finn, they both rushed forward with reckless abandon, moving quickly to take her out completely, either of them grabbing one of Echo's arms, Octavia hoisting herself up and over her until she could use her weight to keep her in place while Finn ran to bring the shackles Octavia had worn earlier, making them snap around their opponent's wrists.

"No!" Echo yelled, writhing under Octavia's weight, so angry that her face had grown pale, and while Octavia loved seeing her that way, they didn't have any time to gloat, needed to get out, and away.

"Come on," she hissed over to Finn, grabbing him by the hand as she got up and off Echo again, hitting the other woman's head for good measure, knocking her out. "Let's go."

Finn's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, frozen for one scary moment in which Octavia saw herself dealing with yet another one of his episodes that she liked to consider tantrums, but then he surprised her yet again by grabbing her hand just as harshly, putting one arm around her waist and helping her up and out of the room.

They were back in the darkness of the hallway, now eerily quiet and forlorn, and with a jerk of her head, Octavia pointed into the direction she had come from, hoping against hope that they would make it out of there alright.


	13. Finding a way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you don’t mind that I’m posting a bunch of chapters at the same time. I got some editing work done so I’ll just go ahead and get it out there. :)
> 
> Happy reading!

...

Abby was tired of riding on horseback. She was tired of the Neutral Zone, tired of the dangers lurking everywhere.

Once, she had thought the Neutral Zone was their chance, that Thelonious Jaha had all the answers when he had suggested to strengthen the Neutral Zone. She had hoped one day they would all become neutral, no longer Golden or Silveren, just people. But of course that kind of thinking had been naive. People always found a way to fight over something, and what she saw now… it looked like the Neutral Zone had become neutralized.

A wasteland had stretched where only weeks before had been green fields and vast forests. So many people had lived out there, foresters, deformed, people that didn't consider themselves part of either of the main factions anymore. People like Abby.

Now it was all gone.

Whatever had happened, she had a part in it. She and the man she loved. Marcus had set out to heal the world to save it, but instead he had made it all worse. A sob was lodged at the back of her throat, threatening to surface, but she had to keep it down, had to keep it together, for her daughter, for the many that had come with them. If their doctor broke down, who could they turn to?

Clarke was at the helm, slowly trotting forward, quietly talking to Thelonious. Abby wondered whether they had spoken about Wells at all, but she doubted it. The wounds were too fresh.

Now there were other wounds to deal with. Deeper, all encompassing. They hadn't found one single person yet, no survivors, and they were only a day away from the Black Ruins now. Abby chuckled softly to herself, but it wasn't a happy sound. The Black Ruins has become such an apt name, soon the entire desolation would probably be known by it…

"We'll set up camp for the night," Clarke said, jolting her mom back. Their gazes met briefly before her daughter continued to address their troops.

And when had that happened? When had Clarke Griffin turned into a leader? Such a strong proud figure, guiding them all. Abby knew she couldn't claim to have been a part of that, not a big one or a very influential one anyways, but she marveled at that development, wondering how things might have turned out if her daughter had bonded with someone else…

Now both of them were with someone who wasn't a pure Golden, Abby with Marcus, Clarke with Bellamy, and despite everything, the thought brought a smile to her face. But then she remembered that both men were missing, just two of many more they were looking for, and her smile vanished as fast as it had appeared.

"Mom?"

Abby caught herself, looking at Clarke with what she hoped was a somewhat collected expression.

"Yuh. I'm… I'll make my rounds, see how everyone is holding up." She paused, smiling again. "Starting with you. How are you, Clarke? Have you eaten?"

"I'm fine, mom."

Abby pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to reprimand her daughter. The girl was pregnant. She was so young, almost half a child still herself, and she was expecting a baby. The thought still boggled Abby's mind. While she was happy to become a grandma, she wasn't quite ready yet for it. And it couldn't have come at a less opportune time…

Sighing, she nodded, letting it go. It wouldn't do anyone good if she and Clarke started fighting now. She only hoped she wouldn't regret it later.

"Alright." She patted her daughter's arm briefly, then steeled herself for her rounds. War had a way of getting to the people quickly. Someone to boost their morale, to check in and talk with them a little bit would hopefully help them, and if Abby could do that, Clarke could focus on herself for a few precious moments, before planning their next moves.

* * *

…

They had traveled for days, always on the move, and Marcus was beginning to lose hope. What little luck they'd had - finding a few rations of food here and there, he had even killed a rabbit a few days ago - it was always followed by a string of unfortunate events.

First, they had run out of water. Parched to the point where he had almost passed out, they had gotten into a downpour from hell, and while it had helped with their lack of water, it had also soaked them to the bone, making him freeze for days and worry about Bellamy even more.

But his companion hadn't complained. Lying way too still on the travois as Marcus pulled him across the land, the kid had slept away most of their journey. There had come a moment when he had thought the boy had died after all, just yesterday, but then Bellamy had woken up again for a few minutes, almost seeming back to normal before the pain claimed him again and pulled him back under.

Whenever Marcus was ready to give up, something always happened that kept him going, however. Bellamy waking up, him finding food, or now… now he was standing on a hill looking down, spotting what looked like a few intact huts in a small secluded place, a forest, if not as big, its trees more the size of underbrush, sheltered by the walls of a ravine.

From up where he stood, it looked like paradise in the middle of a crater of nothing, and his heart jumped a little at the view.

Shooting a glance at Bellamy, he bend down a bit to pat the kid's arm lightly, noticing that his fingers moved ever so slightly as if in answer.

"There's a small settlement down there," he said, barely recognizing his own voice that was gruff from lack of use and the ashen air he had been inhaling for weeks now. "I'll go check it out. Maybe we won't have to sleep under the open sky tonight…"

He smiled to himself, wishing that for once he'd have someone to talk to again, someone who said more than a handful of words at a time before passing out. Most of all, though, he was glad that he wasn't alone, that Bellamy was still alive, because damn if the kid hadn't grown on him even more…

* * *

…

Bellamy was vaguely aware of their movement. The waves in his body sometimes corresponded with those from the outside, at other times they were out of sync, and the world whirled while his body stood still, or the pain rushed through him while the world seemed to have stopped.

There was a descent and then a rise, but mostly just one long meandering band taking him with it, a mumbling accompanying him as Kane talked to himself or maybe to him, he couldn't be sure.

And every so often he felt her. Clarke, who gave him the strength to go on, to keep on fighting his way up and out of this mess, but it was so damn hard and he so exhausted and sometimes he faltered, ready to give up, to just slip away. Then she was there and he could fight for another day or two.

Today, though, something was different. The spiral wouldn't let him out even when she called for him, the pain pulling him under, a heat trapped in his body that he couldn't tolerate for much longer. He was panicking, he was dying, and he couldn't do anything about it, couldn't even open his mouth to yell for Kane to—

"Stop!"

* * *

…

They trudged on through the dark maze underneath the building, the even walls of the hallway having long been replaced by a rougher surface, rocks, and stone where the ground had devoured half of the structure, and Octavia couldn't help but panic at the feeling of being trapped down here.

Shooting a glance at Finn, she continued following him as he pulled her with him, ever farther. Her leg was screaming, her stomach revolting, her whole body ready to shut down, but whenever she tugged at Finn and told him she needed a break, just a second, just a moment to close her eyes or rest her legs or just lay down completely, he cajoled her to go just a little bit longer, a few feet more, and she always ended up following.

Until she couldn't do it anymore. Raising herself up one last time, she took a staggering labored breath, turning to face her companion who she could barely even see in the dark.

"We're lost," she muttered, "We'll never make it out of here." Then she collapsed so suddenly that she didn't even feel herself hit the floor anymore, or his arms coming around to catch her. Everything just blissfully stopped.

…

Finn's breath hitched when he caught Octavia, her full weight almost dragging him down with her as she lost consciousness.

"No," he hissed, "Octavia, come on. Get up. Please. I can't carry you…"

But no matter what he said, he knew he would have to, because he also couldn't just leave her behind. Or give up. He had to keep going, had to get her out.

Finally allowing himself a minute to catch his breath, he kneeled down, holding her tightly, gently slapping her cheeks, feeling her pulse before he clenched his jaw and forced himself to get up again.

Easier said than done. His body was roaring with pain, burning with overexertion, his injured shoulder a searing mass, but he closed his eyes, trying to channel his thoughts, remembering what they had told him before they cut into him.

"The pain is your weakness and your strength. Nothing worse can happen to you. Allow it in, allow it to consume you, then emerge on the other side."

It had always sounded like bullshit to him, had never done anything for him, but suddenly it seemed to work. Pushing himself upward, balancing Octavia's weight, he slowly came to stand, then, with a deep inhalation, he managed to hoist her up and over his good shoulder before he went back on his way. Tripping and stumbling at first, almost going down under the added weight, he eventually got into a certain groove, or maybe he was just losing it completely, barely conscious anymore. It didn't matter.

What mattered was that he was moving, ever further into the underground maze, until there was a dim light visible again, still far away, but there, and he kept walking, down that strange tunnel that shouldn't have been there - and where had it come from? - until he emerged out in the open, blinking up into a moonlit night, the light so bright as if it was day, casting his shadow onto the ground before him.

And still he kept going on, couldn't stop yet, or they might be found, so he walked, and walked, until he couldn't walk anymore and dropped Octavia as the ground came up to meet him rather gracelessly, his torn shoulder connecting with the rocky surface, a crunching sound filling his ears, but he didn't even feel pain anymore, didn't feel anything, only…

Relief.

* * *

…

Marcus licked his lips, panicking. Again. Bellamy's fever was suddenly spiking and he had no idea what to do. He had rushed down the rest of the way to the cabins, only to find most of them borded up and deserted. Of course. The people living there had probably seen the large dark plume rising from the mining site, and since they couldn't have known their little settlement would be spared, they had fled.

Yet, he still knocked before trying to enter the first of the small sheds, a little disappointed when no one answered.

"Hello?" he hollered, not waiting for much longer than a few seconds before moving onto the next one, repeating it all. "Hello?! Open up, please! I have a wounded young man with me. He needs help. Hello!"

Shooting a glance over to where he had parked the travois with Bellamy securely strapped in, he made his round, then, when no one answered, he banged hard at the last door, banging and banging, until his fists hurt. He needed to get into one of these little huts. But the people seemed to have barred their doors rather well, and they wouldn't budge.

Searching, he turned around, stumbling through the place half drunk on starvation, his gaze finally falling on what looked like a pitchfork, or maybe a large shovel, he couldn't quite tell from where he stood.

Sprinting over to where it leaned against the side of a small barn or working shed, he grabbed it, then raced back to the one cabin that had a window, hacking away at it with all the pent up frustration that had accumulated over the last weeks. The glass shattered and sprayed toward him, forcing him to duck down and shield his face. Wrapping the sleeve of his jacket around his hand, he went on to make sure to break of the last few pieces of glass so that they wouldn't cut him or Bellamy later.

Then he looked up to admire his handiwork. It would do. Even though he had no idea how he was supposed to get Bellamy in there, but at least it was a way into the cabin. They'd have a roof above their heads and with any luck - and he really needed an extra dose of luck - there were food rations in there, and some medication. Just… something.

Heaving in a breath, he steeled himself, then jogged back to Bellamy. Steering the travois over to the cabin, he tried to go over his options again. He had developed a thought a while ago. Maybe if he left the kid behind for a bit, he could be faster, could go in search of help. He hadn't dared leave the boy out in the open, but now that they had found this place… Maybe he could dare it after all.

But first he'd have to see to it that he got him stabilized again, got the fever to go down. As he moved to loosen the straps around Bellamy, he could feel how hot he was burning, and it worried him. What if he had developed gangrene? Some other type of infection?

If only Abby were here, she could help him with this. But it was only him out here, and he'd have to make do with his rudimentary knowledge of medicine.

A loud sigh escaped him. Flexing his arms he prepared himself for the next part: lifting Bellamy up and off the stretcher, then through the window.

It took him the better half of an hour to finally figure out the logistics, and he chuckled to himself when he finally sat on the other side of the outer wall, sweaty and spent, but with Bellamy lying right next to him, still in one piece.

Starvation really was no joke. It was a bit of a miracle he hadn't collapsed a long time ago, that Bellamy was still alive too.

With the amount of bodily work Marcus had had to do in the last few weeks, he would have needed a much higher caloric diet than he had gotten, but somehow he had made it. The Kane clan was sturdy, if nothing else. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was a mixed blood, a Golden with a tinge of Silveren heritage on his father's side.

Maybe that's why Bellamy was still alive, too. He wasn't pure either, after all.

Marcus chuckled again, rolling his eyes at himself. He should stop with those stupid theories. The boy's fever still needed immediate attention, and Marcus had to go looking for some medicine and food.

With a last effort, he hoisted himself up. Laying a hand on Bellamy's forehead, he frowned in sorrow when the temperature was still almost scalding.

"Let's get some liquid into you," he muttered, moving to trickle a bit of their last water into the kid's mouth. With a surge of sudden fondness, he stroked Bellamy's head, wondering whether this was what it felt like to love a child.

Scoffing, he wiped a hand over his eyes, noticing just how tired he was. Marcus Kane was growing soft. Who would have thought…


	14. Promise of power

…

"How's it coming, Reyes?"

Raven rolled her eyes, looking up from her work briefly to glare at John.

"Not much has changed since you asked me that last time," she checked the time, "approximately thirty minutes ago."

It was his turn to roll his eyes, then he resumed tapping the counter before him with his fingers.

"Geez, John. Stop."

He stared at her, the wheels in his head quite obviously turning before he looked at his hand, then made a fist and shoved it into his pocket.

"Thank you," she said, returning her attention back to her work. She had taken another sample of his blood, had run a few tests, and was now comparing the results from the different times she had drawn his blood before.

It was funny, really. Ever since she had confided in him, ever since he had broken down, they had tried to pretend things were still as they had been before, but they both knew it wasn't true. It was almost as if they had a silent understanding now, to keep each other company, be there for each other, while still bantering like there was no tomorrow, pretending they didn't like each other.

But they did, didn't they?

Raven looked up again, noticing him still watching her, and she smiled involuntarily. "Let me work," she reprimanded him as if he had done something again to distract her, and he glared at her, then pushed himself off the counter in an overly dramatic gesture, walking toward the door with a nonchalant half wave of his arm, his head held high in a rather cocky posture.

"Yeah, whatever. Guard duty is calling anyways."

"People still look at you weird?"

"Nah. Not really. Well… Had a forester wonder whether I was the 'fallen, risen again' or some stupid shit like that the other day," he airquoted, making a face. "But whatever. Those people have the strangest lore."

Raven frowned sympathetically. "At least they generally like to stay away from the cities..."

"Yeah... - Anyways. So long, Reyes."

"Be nice to people, Murphy."

She heard him scoff before he left the lab, leaving her alone again. Alone with her own dark thoughts, and the work that kept her busy, kept her sane.

Whenever he wasn't there to distract her, her mind circled around Finn, out there, lost, or dead. Probably both. She was certain now that she would probably never see him again, it had been weeks after all, and still she hadn't allowed herself to cry. Because she didn't deserve to mourn him when she had betrayed him like she had.

She would always love him, she knew that, he was a part of her heart, of the fabric of her song after all. But she was so relieved that she didn't need to tread carefully around him anymore, didn't need to tiptoe and worry about his glum moods. Most of all, she didn't need to see him and miss the person he had once been, who she could still see somewhere in him, like a sad reminder of days long gone.

She didn't have to face her guilt on a daily basis anymore, seeing in him what could have been her if he hadn't saved her. If he hadn't become an Eternal instead of her. Not that she had made him do it, but the guilt was still there. Now, though, now it was time to move on. If only her mind would finally get the memo…

With a sigh, she actively forced herself to turn her focus back on the samples, studying the nanobots under her microscope.

This was her job now. Not being out there, beside Clarke and the others, looking for their people. But here, in the lab. Looking out for their people in a different way. Because this was it. As John's blood showed, the agent they had created with the help of Abby's sample was working. Not quite in the desired way, and she still didn't understand why Emori had died, but it was working. They were on to something real, finally. On to finding a true cure.

"You would be proud of me, wouldn't you?" she addressed the memory of Finn, then, with a soft smile, she jotted down some more notes, her focus completely returning.

* * *

…

Clarke wasn't feeling so great anymore. Bellamy was a dull presence of agony somewhere at the periphery of her mind, and she didn't understand why he was so far away, why it felt so different these days.

She remembered how things had been before, when Bellamy had still carried the Eternal scar. She had been able to help him, shield him, but now she couldn't seem to get through to him. As if he was too far away, the distance between them ever growing, and it scared her.

Wiping a hand over her forehead, she grimaced at how sweaty she was. It was a cold summer, and yet she had grown considerably hotter during the days spent on the road.

They still hadn't found a trace of their people, but the closer they got, the worse the land looked. The devastation was mind boggling. It made her heart seize.

How had it come to this? The controlled explosion of Aurora's site had been contained rather quickly, the fire fizzling out as soon as the large core had imploded in on itself. And that had supposedly been the largest known site of Eternal metal.

Why then had the Black Ruins created such a wasteland? And how bad would it be even closer to the actual core?

A shiver ran down her spine, to the small of her back, spreading from there, and she hugged herself as she waited for her mom to get back to their shared tent. They'd be leaving again first thing in the morning, but their troops were tired and exhausted, and a bit disillusioned by now, too, so she, Thelonious Jaha, and Abby had all done their rounds to offer a listening ear and a bit of a pep talk. Clarke wasn't very good at that latter part. She was still not quite used to the many-faceted duties of a leader, and she was simply better at making harsh decisions and moving into action herself.

 _I really need you,_ she sent out in Bellamy's direction, but as expected there was no reaction, not even a flicker.

…

It was much later when Abby eventually returned, looking drawn and just as tired as Clarke felt, but she still had a smile for her daughter as she flopped down beside her, taking off her boots and rubbing her sore feet.

"How'd it go?"

Her mom sighed, cuddling up a little with Clarke, intertwining arms.

"They're on edge. Wary."

"Can't blame them…" Clarke scoffed, looking down as her mother leaned her head against the taut fabric of their tent.

"Most of them have family and friends among the missing… What we've seen out here…" Abby trailed off, sighing, but she didn't have to continue. Clarke knew. Their hope decreased with every day, every hour. And nothing they could say would make that better. The evidence that something bad had happened had become too glaringly obvious.

"Do you think this is what it looked like after the Big Ones went off?" she asked, glancing over to see her mom shrug.

"Maybe. Hard to say. All I know is that humanity came back from that, so we will make it, too."

Clarke raised an eyebrow. This was a rather optimistic view she hadn't heard from her mother before. Usually Abby had complained about how civilization had lost so much, had never fully recovered.

She had to admit it was nice to hear this other opinion now. It gave her a little more hope again.

Closing her eyes, she fought with herself for a moment, unsure of whether to ask this question that constantly burned inside of her. But she had to, she needed to know.

„You think we'll find anyone? Bellamy? Marcus?"

Abby's features crumbled a little, mirroring those of her daughter. "I have to believe that, yeah."

"It's just… I can barely feel him. Was it ever like that for you when you and dad were so far apart from each other?"

There was a flicker of understanding in her mother's eyes, an almost smile that confused Clarke. "What?"

"It's the baby," Abby replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Clarke still didn't understand. Furrowing her brow, she stared at her mom a little lost, before she continued.

"The pregnancy protects you; it is known to… weaken the bond a little. It did so for me, when I was pregnant with you."

Clarke swallowed, still confused, but slowly following. "It did?"

"Uh huh." Abby nudged her gently. "A way to protect the baby, I'm sure. Right now you can't deal with as much as you normally would…"

"Bellamy…"

"He'll be fine, Clarke. I know it. Call me crazy, but I have this feeling that wherever they are, Bellamy and Marcus made it out alive, and they're together."

Her smile a little wistful she laid an arm around her daughter, and Clarke soaked it up desperately. She wanted to believe her mom was right, wanted to believe it so badly. Wanted to believe they'd find them soon.

* * *

…

"I'm sorry." Echo stared at the ground rather than at her king, waiting for his fit of anger to pass. She had just told Roan about the escape of their two prime captives, and he was expectedly unhappy about it. No, he was enraged.

"This was our best chance to get access to more mining sites! To arm our people and to find an easier way to create our own Eternals! How…" He kicked over a couple of chairs, then swiped off everything that had lain on the big table in the middle of the room that he used as a desk of sorts, and a meeting place for his staff.

Now there was only Echo, and a rather calm Nyko waiting somewhere in the back. She shot him a hateful glare from under her lashes, not liking the man one bit. He had presented himself as a leader of sorts on way too many occasions and she didn't like how much Roan trusted him.

"How did you manage to let two severely injured kids," he spat the last word at her like an insult, "get the upper hand on you?! - You better find them! They can't have gotten that far, can they?!"

She swallowed, shaking her head. "I doubt it, my king."

He looked positively exasperated. "Stop with the 'king.' I'm not your king!"

He scoffed, slowly seeming to collect himself a little. She knew the storm was going to be over soon. Roan wasn't generally a very explosive man, but when something really angered him, he could show this different side.

"I have a proposition." Nyko had stepped forward, looking humble and subdued and Echo wished she could kick that act right out of him. But of course Roan didn't see it, and as usual he nodded for his confidant to speak. "Gather our troops, and march toward Arkadia."

"Are you insane?" Echo chuckled disbelievingly. The Golden city that functioned as a capital was heavily guarded. Since the Silveren surrender had led to a large camp popping up right outside its gates, it had become an even more dangerous place to be. Plus, they would have to march through the entire wasteland in between, a trek that would be quite taxing and possibly take weeks.

Nyko however merely shot her an almost bored looking glance. "The enemy have been weakened by the incident at the Black Ruins. They've lost a large number of their fighters while our numbers are still strong since we were on the more fortunate side when the explosions happened…"

Echo gritted her teeth at the memory. They might have been enemies, but seeing hundreds of people pretty much get incinerated within seconds had left a lasting impression on her that was fuel for her nightmares.

"That doesn't help with our arms problem," Roan said, and Nyko agreed with a nod.

"The camp… some of the refugees are Eternals, and their families…"

"You are crazy." Echo shook her head. Did the man expect her and her soldiers to take on a nest of freaking Eternals? Those were bad enough on their own…

"Most of them are in the stages of being healed by Kane's cure. They're just normal soldiers now, maybe even weaker because they've grown to rely on the adrenaline surge created by their weapons, and now they don't have that anymore."

"But—"

He didn't let her finish, making her grit her teeth in anger. "They might be more willing than you'd think to get back what they lost."

"Excruciating pain?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes, but Nyko merely gave her a pointed look while Roan raised a hand to silence her.

"Power," Nyko calmly said, and gritting her teeth she forced herself to really contemplate the man's words. Grudgingly, she had to admit he might have a point. "We'll propose to turn them back into Eternals if they fight on our side," he continued, "Join forces with us. Then we take down Arkadia to make our stand."

Roan beamed, clearly liking the idea. Yet all Echo could think was that she hadn't signed up for an actual war. It had only ever been about a balance of power. But this… this was crazy. This was dangerous, and she didn't like it. At all.


	15. Healing

…

* * *

...

* * *

...

[ **five** **years** **ago** ]

...

"Why can't you stick with something, just once?!" Bellamy glared at his sister, and Octavia glared right back. They had been over this. Millions of times.

Or at least that's what it felt like.

Bellamy wanted her to see things through, but she always ran away, could never focus long enough. It was the same with her healer's apprenticeship. She had maybe gone three months or four, but then she had grown tired of it and given up. Had decided to join the military instead. Just like her big brother.

Could he really blame her? He certainly did. Stomping around the kitchen, he was a picture of a man ready to explode. It was almost funny. Except it wasn't.

Octavia smirked anyways, flinching away in shock when he suddenly banged both hands on the table she was still sitting at, eating her dinner.

Ever since he'd become an Eternal and wasn't home as much any more, he had made it a thing for them to at least have dinner together, but the downside was that they also had all their fights then, too. And they fought a lot. Because while he loved her so much, and she loved him too much, their mother was an asshole who hated everyone, including her children. Therefore Octavia has grown up with a feeling of being unloved and inadequate and she felt the constant need to lash out at everyone and everything. Even Bellamy.

Especially Bellamy, because he was the only one who never left her.

She also really didn't think being a healer was a good fit for her. Learning about Eternal bandages and how to treat Eternal wounds she had fallen asleep a couple of times, only to be reprimanded by the instructing healer.

So today she had decided to shoot back and tell him that she was done, and she had walked out of there and straight over to the recruiting office. Only to be reprimanded for that, too, by her brother this time. Her body was shaking with upset as she was facing him now.

"We can't all be part of the chosen elite, Eternal," she retorted, watching as the last word made the corners of his mouth twitch and his eyes shutter, and she felt instantly bad. Deflating, she stared hard at her half eaten food.

"I thought you liked helping people…" Bellamy's tone had changed to low dissappointment, and Octavia made a face. He wasn't wrong…

"It's just…" She wasn't sure she could tell him.

"I never wanted this for you, O. I mean, the military?" There was so much sadness in his features, and it gave her a pang. She had never meant for this to upset him so much.

"I thought this way we could see each other more often." Her traitorous chin was beginning to wobble as she fought hard not to cry.

Bellamy's shoulders sagged. For a moment he just looked at her, head tilted slightly to the side as he took her in, then he softly said her name. Just a sigh.

"O…"

"I know, I know, it's stupid. We'll probably not even be anywhere near each other, what with you being in the Eternal Department. And we both know I don't even believe in this stupid war and now I can't get out of this anymore… It was just so—"

Before she could say anymore, he had rounded the table to wrap her up in a tight embrace, her sobs breaking free as she pressed her face against him.

"I just… hate how much you're gone now…"

"I'll make more of an effort, O, okay? But you promise me that you won't go anywhere near the Eternal Department, okay? Don't draw too much attention to yourself during training."

He gently pulled her back a little to look at her imploringly. "Don't try to be the best. I know you are good, but they can't find out, or you'll end up with this, too, and that can't happen. Okay? It can't…"

He had raised up his bandaged arm briefly, and she nodded, understanding. Then he pulled her close again and she clung to him for another long moment.

* * *

...

* * *

…

~ **Now** ~

...

They reached the Black Ruins close to dusk. But it didn't matter because the world was so dark and gray out there, the sky still clouded, that they had ridden in eternal night for quite some time. Temperatures had dropped so low that their people were freezing and not for the first time, Thelonious Jaha felt like he had traveled through time and was back when the Before had gone down in ashes and dust.

He wondered whether the people back then had felt as lost and in awe as he did now, and the thought made him shiver.

Keeping up morale among their troops had proven more and more difficult during the last few days, and now that they all could see the dead black crater that had appeared where once the mining site had busily hummed, it had taken a complete nosedive.

Some of the people were clamoring to go back right away, others were ready to barge forward and attack any Neutral Zoners in sight, and it had taken Thelonious a lot of patience and talking to remind them that this was probably something caused by their own people, not theirs.

Tensions were breaking out between Silveren and Golden, too, some of them blaming Bellamy as the Captain's son for this disaster while others felt like Kane the bastard half-Golden had tricked them into doing his dangerous and devastating work.

It was a balancing act to mediate between them all, but the worst, really, the worst was that he'd have to talk to Clarke Griffin soon and persuade her to head back. Because he, commander Thelonious Jaha, friend and supporter of the Neutral Zone, didn't see hope for the people lost here anymore, but what he did see and feel was a hostility in the air, something brewing in the Neutral Zone, a hatred against those who had destroyed the mining site so devastatingly, leaving nothing but ashes and wasteland behind. And he knew that this was a turning point, that the Neutral Zone which had teetered on the edge of becoming yet another faction in the war for quite some time now had finally tipped.

They would be coming for them.

That was his takeaway from seeing the newly blackened ruins before him. The fragile peace was over once more, and they were in the middle of enemy territory.

…

He reined his horse in, waiting for his son's best friend. The girl had changed so much from the foster daughter she had once been to a fierce warrior, a young woman that was much more ready to fight than her people, and he hoped she would get them to do what would be necessary.

"We need to leave, Clarke," he said now, and the look she gave him told him that she had come to the same conclusion.

"This was us," she muttered, jerking her head toward the black nightmare in front of them, just like him not quite able to block out the shocked murmurs rising behind them.

"Yeah…" He nodded, his face as grim as his mood. He was almost glad Wells wasn't around to see this mess. Almost…

"Would you mind bringing our people back home?" She looked at him openly, and he was surprised by her question for only one moment. "I'd like to go looking for survivors a little longer. With just a small team…"

She meant her bond partner. Though he didn't doubt she was the type to go looking for her own.

"Of course," he said, pausing briefly, waiting to see whether she'd say anything else. When she didn't, he went on. "Take Abby. You'll need a doctor on your team."

"But—"

"We'll be fine. We have a few other trained medics. And if you don't mind, I'll use the last bit of light to head back in the direction of home. I don't want our people to have to spend any more time out here than necessary.

Clarke nodded, mouthing a thank you that she never quite verbalized, and they left it at that.

"May we meet again soon, Clarke Griffin."

* * *

…

The sensation in her leg was the first to come back. Gnawing at her subconscious, it slowly made Octavia open her eyes, her lids half stuck together, her lips dry and cracked.

Moaning, she rolled onto her side, trying to sit up, because she knew she had to move, had to do something or she would die here.

It took her a while, but eventually she managed to get up on one knee, her eyes almost rolling back as she did. Looking around, she tried to gain her bearings, surprised to find a roof of sorts above her, rocky and black. A cave, perhaps. Most likely.

She was so parched. Her tongue felt huge and dry, like sand was filling her mouth, and she wiped across it as if to make sure. It was then that her gaze fell on the flask. Banged up and toppled over, it was unlikely that it still held any drinkable water, but she was desperate and she'd rather die of freaking dysentery right about now than thirst, so she clawed her hands into the ground, rough and gritty, and pulled herself forward, unable to stand up just yet.

"Come on," she cajoled herself, her vocal cords feeling like little saws in the throat, so she left it at that, clenching her jaw as she made her way.

Finally, she reached the flask, greedily putting it to her lips and lapping at whatever was still inside. Instant relief coursed through her as there was indeed some water still left, its taste a bit metallic but nothing too bad, and it tasted like the best drink she had ever had.

Only then did she remember what had happened, how they had escaped. Suddenly frantic, she turned around to look for Finn and couldn't see him anywhere. Her heart was beating too fast as the all too real fear of being completely alone took hold of her. Was she maybe just worried about that? Or was she beginning to care about freaking Finn of all people? The same kid she had watched turn from the slightly dorky boyfriend of feisty Raven into a glum and troubled young man?

She told herself she didn't care. That she wasn't upset that he had left her here.

But then she realized that he must have gotten her to the cave, must have found this sheltered place for her to hide in, all that while she had been unconscious and nothing more than a burden with her injured leg, and she knew that someone who did that wouldn't simply leave or abandon her.

Then where was he?

Octavia clenched her teeth, tensing her body as she forced herself to get up for real. She needed to go look for him as much as for some food. She couldn't do this alone. She had lost too much already.

With Bellamy lost, with Lincoln… She couldn't even bring herself to think the word, to think of that last image she had of him. She simply couldn't lose another person, not even Fin.

It took her a few minutes, but eventually she had made it into a standing position, holding onto the rock for support. She'd have to hobble out of the cave, and with no idea what was even waiting for her out there, the prospect was terrifying. She was no stranger to scary situations, her training under Indra had long turned her into a capable warrior herself, and still there were moments where fear returned to her life. Like now.

Shaking her head and rolling her eyes at herself, she went on her way, ignoring the protests of her leg and her mind alike. If he was out there, if he hadn't returned, he could be in danger. After all he hadn't exactly been in a very good state either.

The walk toward the outside took her a long time in which she was ready to give up on multiple occasions, but she fought through every time, forcing herself to keep going. She had brought the bottle, too, in hopes of finding water out there.

When she had almost reached the entrance, a shadow abruptly fell on her, darkening the opening in the rock and she shrank against the walls, he heart fluttering in her chest like it wanted out as much as she did. Already she was going over any possible ways of defending herself, patting down her pockets for something, anything to fight with, when a raspy voice called her name.

"Octavia."

Brow creasing, she tilted her head, trying to see against the brightness coming from outside.

"Finn?"

"You should lie down. Here, I brought water. Caught us a fish, too. Though no promises that it's any good." He was so close now that she could see his face, cheeks hollow, lips almost colorless, but with a smile on his face that changed his entire appearance. "I'm glad you're up…"

His breath was warm against her skin, a little too warm perhaps, and she swallowed, suddenly feeling… odd. She stared at him for a moment, her lips twitching as she thought of something to say, but then she was spared as he held out an old rusty can filled to the brim with water.

"Come on," he said, "you need to rest. Let's sit down and try and eat that fish."

"Raw?" Of all the things she could and should have asked, it was that question that came out of her mouth, and she was ready to be annoyed with herself when she heard him lightly laugh, a sound so foreign, so… nice that she had to smile too.

"Didn't you hear? It's how all the fancy chefs serve it these days."

Octavia chuckled, accepting his proffered arm without a second thought and followed him back deeper into the cave.

"How did you even find this place, not to mention make it here?" she asked when they had finally sat down and he busied himself preparing the fish while she drank some more of the water, rubbing her smarting knee. She was acutely aware of how silent he'd grown, how withdrawn he looked, and she wished that blissful moment of banter back that had passed way too quickly. "Finn?"

"I'm sorry, what?" He looked up at her, and gone was any trace of that smile, only darkness left in his eyes, his features. And pain.

Frowning, she leaned over until she could touch his hand, could make him stop what he was doing. "Let me see," she said, not a question. Her tone was brokering no argument and he made a face as he looked at her, but did as she had told him to.

Shoving up his sleeve by rubbing his arm against his thigh rather than using his other hand, he bared his wrist and lower arm, exposing the large ragged scar underneath, its glow eerily bright in the dimness of the cave. Octavia pressed her lips together, nodding at him briefly, and he pulled the sleeve back down.

"We need to get you a bandage… Can you manage with the pain?"

He jerked his head, a rather unconvincing nod, but she didn't question it.

"And your shoulder?" She tapped the spot on her own body, remembering where she had seen the rod of Eternal metal stick out of him before, and this time, he didn't look at her, made no attempt at showing her. "Finn."

He had closed his eyes, still holding the half disemboweled fish in his hand as if forgotten. It was as if he was frozen in time, as if they were frozen in time for a bit, before she softly called his name again, and this time, he did look at her.

"How bad is it."

He swallowed, his tongue clicking as he did. "It's—"

"Don't say 'fine' now," she interrupted him, exasperated already, fed up with this all too familiar deflection technique that her own brother had mastered long before this kid in front of her had been turned into an Eternal.

A flicker went through his eyes, she could tell that she had struck a cord, though she didn't quite know in what way.

"It still hurts," he then said, his tone flat, "but you know how it is. With your leg and stomach…"

No arguing there, she was definitely still in a lot of pain. Raising an eyebrow, she rubbed her neck, her long braids falling into her face a little, almost as if to shield her when she admitted, "Yeah. - But I wasn't speared by Eternal metal, so…"

"So what?"

"I'm just a little amazed that you're even still standing I guess. You're… so much stronger than I thought." Maybe she shouldn't have said that. His eyes shuttered instantly, a distance growing between them rather abruptly, and she didn't like it.

With a scoff, he put the fish down, staring at her. It almost looked like he wanted to retort, but no words came, just awful grating silence. Eventually, Octavia heaved herself up, she didn't even know why, and limped over to him until she could sit down right next to him, their legs touching. She looked down just as he did, noticing it at the same time, but neither of them moved. Neither of them said anything. Then she lifted her hand, her fingers grazing his throat briefly as she slowly moved further down, their gazes locked now as he warily watched her. When her fingertips finally hovered right above where he had been pierced, she noticed him hold his breath, shake his head ever so slightly, but she didn't stop. She couldn't.

Then, with a very gentle, careful grasp, she pulled at his shirt, tugging it down so she could see.

A soft gasp escaped her, a mix of wonder and shock, and when he averted his face, flinching under her touch, her hand reached up to cup his cheek.

"It's okay," she breathed, leaning in more, her forehead touching his, and he didn't move away this time, allowed their proximity. "It's okay."

But it wasn't okay. It was… something she had never seen before. The entire area around the entry wound under his collarbone had spidered into a web of blazing threads of silver, brighter than any Eternal scar she had ever seen. But that wasn't all. She could still see the bone peeking through, shining just as much, and yet the wound was slowly knitting closed. Smaller than it had been before. As if something was healing it in record speed.

The nanobots…

…


	16. Help

…

On their second day in the cabin, Marcus was ready for a breakdown, but he knew everything relied on him too much. Bellamy relied on him.

The poor kid was moaning in his uneasy sleep now, tossing more than was good for his back, his body writhing so much that Marcus worried he'd aggravate his back too much. The fever wasn't breaking, no matter what he tried, and he was out of ideas. Bellamy was close to dying, he knew it, he had been close for weeks now, and maybe it was time to cut his losses and move on.

But he couldn't. If he gave up now, he'd have blood on his hands, Bellamy's, and Clarke's. Maybe even Abby's because he wasn't sure she'd survive losing her daughter.

He couldn't let that happen. He had ransacked the cabin, had used up what little medicine there was to be found, had arranged all the food in a neat line on the small table in the living room area so he didn't need to venture far away from the boy to grab any of it. But now it was time to go out there again, to try and break into the other huts and see what they had to offer.

"I'll be back soon," he informed Bellamy, as if the kid cared, and with a determined strut he climbed out the window and made his way through the first cabin, pitchfork in tow.

He ended up hacking away for hours, with reckless abandon. But in the end he was successful. He had made his way into almost all the cabins, collecting everything he found in a large sack he had found in the first cabin. The sun, still clouded by ashes, even weeks and weeks after the disaster, was already on a declining arc when he eventually made his way back, feeling guilty that he had left Bellamy alone for so long.

Sniffing, he rubbed his nose. It had gotten cold. There was barely any evidence left that summer was still in progress and he was starting to get worried about what it would mean for the coming fall and winter. But he shouldn't think that far, there were more imminent things that needed his attention first. So he hurried back quickly, hauling his bounty over his shoulder, then made it back to the cabin.

"I'm back," he said, announcing his return as if the kid would care, then carefully lowered the sack through the window first, where it landed with a soft clang. Then he followed, only to be greeted by a dark figure kneeling by Bellamy's side.

His whole body tensed as he tried to reach for the small dagger he kept on him at all times. When his fingers finally felt the shape and he pulled it out quickly, the shadow spoke.

"No need for that, Marcus Kane."

His shoulders sagged as he recognized the voice of Indra, the forester warrior. With a shaky exhalation, he took a step toward her, not quite believing that she was here, that she was real.

"Indra?"

She walked out of the darkness and into the last light of day falling through the window, showing her dark face, painted with tattoos and scars.

"Wouldn't have expected you to take such good care of Blake."

He raised an eyebrow at her words, watching as she inspected him, her gaze moving up and down him before she held out a hand to grab his upper arm by way of greeting.

Reciprocating the gesture, he almost hugged the woman, he was so relieved. But even now he knew better than to break the forester rules. And hugs simply weren't a very forester type thing to do.

"I'm glad to see you made it out."

"Few have…"

He nodded sadly. There was nothing for him to add there. With a wave of his arm he indicated Bellamy, only now noticing that the kid's arm sported what looked like an Eternal bandage, and a kind of poultice had been placed over the large angry wound in his back.

"You did that?"

She clicked her tongue, turning to the boy. "You did well keeping him alive, Kane of the Golden, but the boy needed more to come back from this."

"You had a bandage? You… You're a healer? I didn't…"

She chuckled, the sound closer to a cackle. "Your people are so far removed from the necessities of life."

"Whatever that means," he mumbled, making a face. He didn't think she could hear him, but then she looked at him, tapping his chest with a hard finger.

"It means that you people don't teach your young survival skills anymore. Everyone needs to be able to heal. In a world like ours we don't have the luxury to have just a few designated 'healers.'"

He saw her point, especially in light of recent events. He really did, and he was willing to work on that - provided he ever made it back.

"This needs to be changed every four hours," she informed him, pointing at the poultice. "I'll show you how it's done. It's a miracle the boy made it this long. You must have done something right."

Coming from her it was almost a compliment and he chuckled. "Kid is a survivor, that's for sure…"

"Like his sister."

Marcus raised his head, surprised. "Did you see her then? Is she alive?" His heart was beating a little faster, not only because he had gotten to know the girl better during the last year and had grown quite fond of her, but also because any other survivor would be a miracle. And after Indra had showed up, he was ready to believe in miracles again.

The warrior eyed him warily, squinting slightly as she did. "No. But I know she will be fine," she said cryptically, not elaborating any further. Stooping down, she picked up a small pack she had laid right next to the couch Bellamy was lying on and put it back over her shoulder, touching Marcus's arm lightly as she walked past him.

"Hold up," he said when he realized she was about to just climb out of the window and leave. "What are you doing? Where are you going? You can't go back out there all by yourself."

"There are people still out there, and an army waiting to march on your people. The Captain's daughter is out there…"

"You said she's fine," he said stupidly, too flustered to say more.

"Doesn't mean she couldn't use some help. Besides, the fallen has risen again, and I am needed."

"The fallen?" He furrowed his brow, wondering what kind of forester lore she could be referring to, and just what it could mean. He didn't much believe in these tales, though he knew that like all stories they held a certain truth to them.

The only answer he got was a smile, however. Had he ever seen Indra smile before? This fierce warrior woman of the reclusive foresters? Licking his lips, he tried to go a different route when she remained silent. Because he didn't want the woman to leave, it was dangerous out there after all, and he could really use her help. "We should stay together," he therefore suggested, "Help each other."

"You don't need my help. I left instructions for the poultice, so you will know how to reapply it. Don't let him get up until at least four days and nights have passed. He will want to go earlier than that, so it's on you to make sure he doesn't." She winked, gently laying a hand on his shoulder

"Indra." There was no fight in him. He knew she had made her decision and wouldn't stay. "Be safe out there. And may we meet again someday..."

"You too, Marcus Kane. I'll see you again on the day the fallen-risen-again returns to save us."

"Okay," he said, as if he had any idea what that meant, waving at her, then watching her turn around and climb out the window as amble as a child.

Then she was gone and he was alone again. Well, not quite alone...

* * *

…

Two days later, Bellamy was sitting sideways in a reclining sofa chair, his back not touching the backrest, a blanket spread over him, and yet he was still cold, shivers raking his body. Gritting his teeth, he tried to suffer through it, glaring when Kane came over to sit down right next to him with a content looking face.

"You're awfully happy."

Marcus's grin only widened. "Just very glad you're finally back with me, my friend. That's all."

Back. Bellamy clenched his jaw, still having trouble comprehending what the man had told him. That he had been in and mostly out of consciousness for weeks. That he had sometimes briefly woken and talked about Clarke, even though he barely had any memory of that happening. Even now she seemed so far away, and he had trouble reaching her.

 _I'm on my way. I'll find you_ , she had relayed yet again, but he hadn't been much of a help. Had no idea where they were. Neither did Marcus.

"Drink a little more," the man now said, and Bellamy weakly shook his head. "I can't."

"It's important."

Kane was the most obnoxious nurse he'd ever met.

_Worse than me?_

_Yeah._

He smiled at hearing Clarke, feeling her like a soothing thought in his head.

 _Glad you're a little better finally. I was worried about you._ There was more to it than she let on, he could feel it. A deep anguished fear had lodged inside of her and it pained him to know he was the reason for it.

_I'm sorry, princess._

_No need. Do drink up, though._

He could almost see her smile, and with a groan, he took the cup from Kane's hand, slowly taking a few sips before his hand began shaking too much and Marcus hurried to take the cup away again.

"Easy."

"I hate these freaking shakes."

Kane smiled. "They mean your fever has finally broken. Your body is working to get you to get better. It's taken long enough."

"Yeah…"

"Come on, son." Marcus bent over a bit to pat Bellamy's shoulder before checking his temperature, making him back away. "Already much better. The rest has done you good, as has Indra's medicine."

Bellamy swallowed a little drily, something Kane seemed to pick up on, and he handed him the cup again, holding it this time so Bellamy wouldn't spill anything.

"Thanks," he muttered, closing his eyes, annoyed that something like simply being awake could be so exhausting.

"Give it a bit of time, and you'll soon feel better." Marcus looked pleased, with himself, or with Bellamy's improved health, it was hard to tell, but he couldn't blame the man. After all Kane had kept him alive for weeks when he could have easily left him behind. That Indra had been by to also take care of him was hard to believe, but he was grateful because she had helped him too. Had probably saved him just as much.

"Did she say where she was headed?" he asked now, desperate for some news on his sister. That Indra believed she was alive, while not based on any evidence, was something he had readily accepted because he couldn't bear the thought of Octavia gone.

Kane shook his head, rolling his eyes a little as he said, "You know how she gets, a lot of unclear allusions and metaphors. She mentioned a 'fallen who has risen again' - don't ask me what that even means, but according to her we'll eventually find out, because we'll meet again when the fallen comes to save us all."

Bellamy raised an eyebrow in doubt. He couldn't blame the other man for not taking the warrior woman's talk seriously. They had just learned to take whatever she said at face value, not questioning it unless it seemed too unreasonable.

"Alright." He nodded, grimacing as another wave of shivers ran through him, making his teeth chatter. "As soon as this is over, we gotta get out there and look for O then. And Clarke."

"Easy there, young fella. Indra said you're not even to get up for at least four days. We're down two."

Bellamy glared at Kane with rising annoyance. "She's not here now. And I feel much better already—"

"Need I remind you that I've had to haul your ass across a freaking desert of nothing but ashes for weeks?!" Kane interrupted him, a sudden anger marring his features as he stood up to pace the cabin.

"No," Bellamy allowed, his voice not much more than a resigned whisper. "And I thank you for that but—"

"No 'but'. We wait until you're better. We'll get on our way as soon as you can walk on your own for an extended period of time. No sooner."

Nodding, Bellamy let himself sink into the sofa a little more. He was growing tired fast, and he knew he couldn't argue with Kane. The man had done enough. "Thank you, for doing all this," he abruptly said, looking at him with raw honesty and gratefulness, which Marcus returned with a genuine smile. A fond smile.

"It was the right thing to do…"

Bellamy sighed, his eyes already growing too heavy to keep open much longer. His eyelids were beginning to flutter.

"It's more than most would have done," he muttered, "More than my own parents ever did…"

 _Rest. Bell…_ Clarke told him, suddenly feeling so much closer.

_I miss you, princess…_

_I miss you…_

"Anything for a friend," Marcus said, sounding very far away. Then Bellamy felt a gentle pat on his shoulder, a stroke over his head, and he got dragged off again by sleep, for the first time without the searing burning pain staying prevalent in his brain.

* * *

…

"Clarke." Abby huffed, rubbing her cold hands against each other. Summer was officially coming close to its end, even though it had been as cold as autumn for weeks prior. The explosion at the Black Ruins had been so vast that it had influenced the climate, and that alone was reason enough for her to be worried.

They had ridden through the bleak landscape for weeks now, their troops probably long back home, and still they hadn't found anyone who had survived the disaster. Their small group was growing more and more disillusioned, young Nate and his friend Monty, quiet Harper, and the ever brooding Shaw. They were a small group, just like Clarke had wanted it, so as not to endanger too many more people. But now they were all growing weary and homesick, and Abby had promised to talk to her daughter.

As she now approached Clarke where she was standing on a precipice looking across the black and gray underneath, she could see her stomach silhouetted against the strange light of a too early dusk, and a wistful smile crossed her features. This baby at least was growing fast and growing well, a small relief in this bleak world.

"Your people are ready to head home…"

Clarke turned to look at her, her face a stoic mask. "I know," she allowed. "They can return if they want. But I'll have to keep looking. I know I'm getting closer, I can feel it. I can feel him…"

Abby nodded, understanding. They all knew that they had long stopped looking for survivors, that they were only really looking for two of them now. Bellamy and Marcus.

When Clarke had first told Abby the news, she hadn't been able to stop the tears. She still felt the relief. "Marcus is with Bellamy," Clarke had said. "He saved him."

Abby hadn't realized until then that she had still sometimes doubted the man. Despite her love for him, she had questioned her decision to be with him, had questioned _him_. Whether he was truly a good person.

Now she knew.

"Two more days," Abby said. I'm sure I can persuade them to wait this long, but then we'll have to head back. With you," she insisted, making Clarke roll her eyes.

"I can—"

Abby shook her head, not letting her finish. "I mean it, Clarke. With you. You're close to the third trimester now. You need to get off the back of a horse. Marcus has kept Bellamy safe this long. He'll manage without us for longer. They'll make their way home. Bellamy is the Captain's son after all, he's tough. They'll be fine."

Clarke pressed her lips together, making a face, but she didn't say anything in reply. Didn't argue. Abby took that to be a good sign. Giving her daughter a sideways hug and a kiss on her forehead, she then made her way back toward the others, ready to fill them in.

But she had barely made it off the precipice when she heard Clarke call her back, her voice sounding alarmed.

Abby instantly tensed, jogging back until she came to stand right next to her daughter.

"What's going on?"

Clarke pointed, and Abby's heart rate began to pick up its pace. Down in the canyon, there was what looked like a long meandering moving band. People. Thousands of them, barely visible in the darkness. They had chosen the path wisely, well hidden from view.

An army. And not theirs.

Abby and Clarke exchanged a glance. This would change their plans completely.


	17. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murven have lunch. And other things...

…

"I'm waiting, Reyes." John rhythmically tapped the counter, rolling his eyes at how long the girl was taking again. Taking her out to lunch had become kind of a regular thing ever since pretty much everyone they knew had gone in search of people that would never come back, and now that the search troop was back, but without a number of their friends, they had begun to kind of rely on each other a little more than he would have ever imagined possible.

Raven had become a constant in his life when no one else had stayed around. When the loneliness after losing Emori had threatened to swallow him whole. And he had to admit he had started to really enjoy her presence. To live for their little moments of banter and sometimes, yes, also deeper, more serious conversations.

What he would never get used to, however, was the amount of time she needed to clean up the lab and pry herself from her oh so captivating research.

"Reyes!" he yelled now when she was lifting an arm to excuse herself yet again, smiling a disarming smile at him.

"Last thing, I promise!"

"You said that about the last four things," he reminded her, then hopped off his stool and swaggered over to her, nonchalantly grabbing her hand and pulling her with him.

"Murphy!" she whined, annoyed, tugging at her arm to free herself. When she did, he simply grabbed her again, shaking his head.

"Nope, you're done for today. All your precious vials will still be here tomorrow, same as your notes. The latest badge of hopeful Bonded can wait another day before you prod them again. Trust someone who's been through it, it'll do them good…" He looked at her, suddenly more earnest than just a minute ago, and he noticed how she stopped fighting him. "Good," he said, a smile back in place. "Now let's go."

...

They went to a small little place that always had good food and not too many people, one of those slightly hidden pockets that only those in the know frequented. And he liked it that way. People didn't generally care much for him so if he didn't have to deal with too many of them, all the better.

"My treat," he announced as he flopped down on a bench opposite Raven, watching her as she tucked a strand of her hair back into her ponytail, tilting her head almost shily as she studied the small menu leaflet.

"So… what's good? The…" She scrunched up her face, trying to make sense of what she saw, and he had to chuckle a little. "Purple Grains? Beans in a Heap? Seriously? What the heck are these dishes?" The poor girl still hadn't learned half of Golden cuisine.

"It sounds weirder than it is," he said, pointing to a table close to theirs, where someone had just been served a soup. "Purple Grains is a vegetable soup heavy on the beets, with whatever grain is currently in season. So… usually some barley or wheat, or farro or quinoa."

She listened with a genuinely interested expression and he faltered a little for just a moment as his thoughts kept returning to how she had tucked her hair back, or how she now bit her lower lip absently.

"And the Beans? Just a giant heap of beans?"

He chuckled. "Kinda, yeah. Lots of beans, usually black, mashed up with lots of garlic, served with a side of crunchy bread and a salad."

Raven sighed, furrowing her brow as she studied the rest of the short menu. "Okay," she then said, "you'll have to explain the rest too. Tots and… canoes? Medallions? - You know what? I should probably just go with the beans. Beans I can get behind. Beans I've had."

"I thought you were adventurous, Reyes. Come on. Try something else. Live a little."

She scoffed, but smiled. And there it was again, that strange feeling taking ahold of him as he watched her. The way she played with her hair, how her eyebrows knit together when she was in thought, or tapped her leg obliviously. All those small things she did that made him lose it. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Alright," she eventually said, "explain these other dishes, then."

They quickly went through the remainder of choices, just a handful of things, one of them a stew, one of them a sweet dessert known as the Golden temptation, with lots of caramel over chocolatey pastry, and in the end Raven went with the Purple Grains soup and the dessert, slapping his arm lightly when she had ordered.

"This better not be something completely different than you said. Something gross."

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. This girl really did something strange to him lately. Maybe he should try and put a little more distance between them again...

"Trust me, you'll like it."

"Trust you?" She wagged an eyebrow, pretending to be suspicious of him, and he smirked at her, winking.

"What's not to trust? Come on, Reyes, you know me inside and out, down to the crazy amok running bots in my blood." He grinned at her with his best disarming grin, and she chuckled.

* * *

...

It was late when they finally headed back, their bellies full, the taste of the almost too sweet, slightly salty caramel still in Raven's mouth, and she wasn't even meaning anything by it when she grabbed his arm, intertwining hers with his.

Like that they went back to Kane's mansion, passing a few other people on the streets, someone looking at her a little strangely because they were still not used to a Silveren walking around their city, but Murphy stared down whoever didn't look friendly enough, and she gave him a sideways look, enjoying this nicer side of him.

She knew he liked to put on a facade, liked to pretend to be the asshole that nobody liked, but deep down he actually deeply cared about his friends, and she had become one of them.

At times she worried what Bellamy would think of her if he found out how well she was getting along with his torturer lately, and she was admittedly still occasionally struggling with the fact. But she also knew Murphy was a soldier and had followed orders back then, something she could most definitely relate to. And what would Finn think? But she tried not to think of either of them too much, because it only made her feel sad, and lost, and she was done feeling like that.

When they had reached the large building Kane called his home, it was time to say goodbye, just like usual, as she would head back into the lab to continue working on the cure, taking samples from her newest handful of test subjects, and he went on to start his guard duty.

"Thanks for this," she said, turning to face him. One hand already on the doorknob, she lingered as he smiled at her briefly before performing an exaggerated bow.

"Anything for the lady. I figured it was time I introduced you to some Golden culture and food. You've been in this place long enough."

She rolled her eyes a little, but smiled. "I guess that means I'll have to try and actually cook you some Silveren food for tomorrow's lunch," she said, annoyed with herself for even suggesting such a thing. It wasn't exactly like she was a good cook, or knew many Silveren dishes. Her people really didn't have funny little names for the things they ate. Beans were beans, potatoes potatoes. Bread was bread.

But maybe she could make him some rice pudding with almonds and cherries… Just a gesture. Showing him that she wasn't as unrefined as he might think.

"Didn't know you could cook," Murphy said, his smile a little lost on his features now, and she had to fight the sudden strange impulse to graze his lips with her fingertips. Shaking her head, she put a smile on her face, raising her chin cockily.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, John Murphy."

"Can't wait to find out." His smile widened again, then slowly froze, his eyes boring into her until her skin began to prickle. Swallowing, she searched for something to say, but her mind went blank when he slowly moved a little closer. There was a palpable tension between them, something they both knew and felt was there, she could see it in his eyes, in the way he looked at her, then ran a hand over his head, before he abruptly backed away again. Sniffing, he rubbed his nose, not quite looking at her when he said a little too fast, "I'll see you tomorrow, then. And just so you know—"

She didn't find out what he had wanted to say, because right then she followed a sudden impulse and kissed him right on the lips.

It was her turn to back away, and she apologized quickly when she saw his perplexed expression, wiping her mouth as she did. But then he leaned forward and grabbed her neck, one hand in her hair as he pulled her toward him, reciprocating her kiss, taking it to the next level, not letting go…

And she closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel alright again. Loved.

* * *

…

Octavia's leg was throbbing. She had put it up a little, resting it on a rocky ledge, and it helped a little. They had spent three days in the cave together, three days in which she had rested, in which Finn had taken care of her, gone on some food runs to provide for them, but she knew their time here was running out. They needed to get going.

While she was amazed at how Finn had stepped up to the task, had almost done a complete 180 from the guy he had been just a few weeks ago, withdrawn and disconnected, she knew he needed a bandage soon. Something for his arm or the sheen would spread further and then he'd be in even more pain, until—

She stopped herself right there, closing her eyes briefly to take a deep breath. Then she slowly pushed herself up until she stood on her feet, using the rocky wall for support as she hobbled over to where he sat now, leaning against the opposite wall, cradling his arm.

"Hey," she said, making him turn to look at her, and a smile replaced the exhaustion on his face when his gaze fell on her leg.

"You're walking much better…"

She breathed in deeply, speaking on the exhale. "Yeah." Then she let herself flop down next to him, offering him one of the apples they still had left.

He took it with a quiet "thanks," but didn't eat it yet.

Tilting her head, she took him in, smiling to herself. It was strange, she thought, how her view of him had changed within the last few days. A year ago she would have never seen this coming, that she'd enjoy his company. That she'd think of him as a friend, as someone capable of impressing her. But she was impressed. By how he kept it together, didn't complain, didn't mope either.

As if he knew what she was thinking, he said, "Sorry, I'm just tired today…" Then he bit into the fruit, offering it back to her as he chewed.

Shaking her head, she stretched her leg carefully. "It's all yours."

"You sure?" He gave her a questioning look and she nodded.

"We need to get on our way, Finn," she then told him, the non-sequitur not surprising him at all.

"I know… you sure you'll be able to handle it?"

She raised an eyebrow, a fake indignated expression on her face. "You know who you're talking to, right? Octavia Blake can handle everything, and then some, in case you didn't know."

His light chuckle was contagious. "Okay, okay, my mistake. I'm sorry," he said. But soon they both grew more serious again, and Octavia knew she'd have to say it, because he wouldn't.

"We need to find something for your arm, before it's too late."

He made a face, the corners of his mouth turning downward for a moment, as Octavia continued, "I was thinking of going back to the settlement they kept us at."

Eyes widening, her stared at her, his vehement "no" his only reply.

"Finn. Chances for finding a bandage in this wasteland are minimal. But maybe we'd have more luck—"

"We're not going back there. We're lucky they haven't found us yet. I'm not gonna risk that by strutting straight back there, especially with your leg the way it is."

"What about you?" She was growing frustrated with him after all. While she could appreciate his new heroic outlook on life, the way he took care of her, he was going about it with a little too much reckless abandon in regards to his own health.

"What _about_ me? I'll manage."

She scoffed. "You'll manage. How? You do remember what happened to Bell, right? How bad it got? How Clarke almost died, too, because of it?"

He didn't look at her, but she could see his jaw muscles work as it made him grow angry. Good. She needed his fighting spirits back.

"We need to find something to wrap around your arm. - How's the shoulder, by the way?"

He glared at her, and for a moment she thought he was just going to get up and leave her sitting there, but then his back slumped a little and he wearily rubbed his forehead with the palm of his bad.

"It's… better, I guess. And yet not."

It still hurt then. She nodded, understanding. While they didn't quite know what was happening to him, they did know that the wound was healing, that the sheen wasn't spreading more. But the pain still persisted, similar to that of the scar on his arm.

Maybe if they found a bandage, they could patch his shoulder, too. But how were they supposed to find a freaking bandage? Finn was right, going back to the Zoner's camp would be dangerous and chances of finding a bandage there slim. Roan's reaction to her "offer" had told her as much.

What if they didn't need to go back? What if they tried to get home, passing the Black Ruins? Maybe they could find some remnants of the metal there and figure out a way to create a bandage?

She grabbed Finn's wrist at the thought, her eyes wide with new excitement.

"What if we go back to the Ruins instead?" she asked him, making him frown at her as if she had gone crazy.

"What the hell would we do that for?"

"I can make you a bandage - if we can find just a little bit of Eternal metal."

"You… what? How do you know how to make one?"

She scoffed softly, smiling at him. "I'm not as shallow as you think. Before I became a soldier, I briefly trained to become a healer. It wasn't for me, but… I remember a few things."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised, the corners of his mouth curling upward again.

"I don't think you're shallow, but yeah, admittedly I hadn't pegged you for a healer, either. I'm sorry..."

She had been ready to give a fierce comeback, but his apologetic reply made her huff out instead, unsure of what to say to that. She couldn't exactly fault him for not knowing about her past stint in the medical department. A little self-consciously, she turned away, her braids falling into her face, hiding her a little. "Yeah, well… nobody really knows about it. But that's not the point. We need to get going, Fin . Tonight."

"Okay," he said, a mere whisper, before he cleared his throat. Watching him from under her lashes she saw him flex his hand, briefly seeing the scar gleam on his palm as he did. He knew it was time, and so did she.

"Let's pack up then. Get ready before it's completely dark."

"Do you even know where we need to go?"

She shrugged as she stood up. "We'll just follow the traces of devastation."

"Sounds so easy when you put it that way."

Laughing, she waved an arm in a dismissive gesture. "Yup. Easier said than done, I'm sure… Come on," she said, holding out her hand, making him look up at her before he took it and got to his feet.

"Alright, Octavia Blake, lead the way."

She liked to see the determined smile he gave her, and smiled right back, hoping it was at all convincing. Because in truth she had no clue how to make a bandage, and she was just glad he hadn't called her out on it...

* * *

…

Echo didn't like the latest developments. One moment she was still at the Stronghold, the next she had been demoted from second to just one of the ranks because the stupid little Silveren girl and her Eternal scum had managed to escape on her watch. Worse. They had fought their way past her.

As if all that wasn't humiliating enough, she was now forced to march alongside their troops into what she felt was a suicide mission. Taking on Arkadia was the stupidest idea she had ever heard Nyko utter. But for some reason the man had Roan's trust, so what could she do? She shivered, pulling her jacket closed, annoyed that even the weather was not on her side anymore. Summer had come and gone, fall starting too early when the ashes from the mining site's explosion had clouded the air for days and weeks.

For that alone the Silveren and Golden alliance should be held accountable, should pay. Just not in the way Roan planned.

"What's that?" someone suddenly asked ahead, and soon there was a commotion, many urgent voices, and their whole trail just stopped.

She rolled her eyes. These troops were not prepared at all, some of them badly trained, because she hadn't been able to oversee them all. She faulted Nyko for that, too. Sniffing, she wiped her nose on her sleeve, then pushed her way through the soldiers. It didn't take her long to see what the matter was. A group of strangers, around twenty maybe, were sitting huddled together around a fire, most of them dirty and worn looking, and they weren't even trying to get up and defend themselves against their much larger sum.

Stepping forward, her baton at the ready, Echo squinted at them, trying to gauge the situation.

"You survived the explosion," she realized, holding her arms out to stop some of her people from barging forward, ready to attack. "Why didn't you go back to where you came from? This is no place for you."

One of the group, a fierce looking woman with shaggy long hair and prominent cheekbones stood up, taking a few steps toward her. "There is no place for us anymore," she said, meeting Echo's gaze head on. "Not here, not back there. We are done."

Echo frowned at her. "You know that we can't ignore what happened. We view it as an act of war."

The woman scoffed, looking almost bored, and Echo had to force herself to remain calm. Stepping from one foot to the other, she raised her chin.

"You do realize that the mining site was always on Silveren territory, right?"

"The Black Ruins are deep in the Neutral Zone," Echo shot back, ignoring the agreeing murmurs behind her.

"Ever heard of the term 'exclave'?" The woman sounded tired and weary, like she was explaining something over and over to a dumb child. Echo didn't appreciate her tone. She was seething, ready to slap her as a show of power, but then the woman lowered her head, running a hand over her face. "But I'm not here to argue about semantics or even territories. Like I said, we are done. We don't mean you any trouble if you don't…"

Echo wasn't quite sure what to do. She and her troop were the first to head through the wasteland, and the first coming from the south. It had been meant as another jab at her because the southern route was the longest and the furthest away from Arkadia and the Golden lands and Silveren territories. That these people were here was unexpected to say the least, but it was her chance. She had spotted a few among them with wrapped arms, maybe normal injuries from the horrid explosions. But what if some of them were Eternals? Or former Eternals?

Maybe once they reached their troops' meeting point, she could already present Roan with his very first reactivated supersoldiers…

Putting a smile on her face, she held out a hand to the other woman.

"I'm Echo," she then said, "and I have an offer for you."


	18. There’s always something

…

"Geez, Kane, I'm good to go, I told you." Bellamy was exasperated.

He and Marcus had spent the last few minutes arguing loudly about how to proceed. Ever since Clarke had alerted him to the fact that Neutral Zone troops were seemingly marching toward Golden lands and Silveren territories, he had grown restless and had pushed himself to get back to health even more. Grateful for the bandage that Indra had provided him with, he had mostly had to deal with his back, which admittedly had been bad enough.

It was still grating. The pain had let up a bit, but was still there, his back stiff where the skin had been burnt. At least Kane had eventually managed to get the last bits of Eternal metal off it, and he had had ample time to make at least a small portion of his secret concoction to treat the rest of it so it didn't remain an Eternal wound.

But when the man had proceeded to treat his arm, too, Bellamy had stopped him. He wasn't quite sure why, but suddenly he had felt like it wasn't worth it to go through all that again when it seemed all too easy to reactivate the scar. Plus, the Zoners seemed to be on a war path, and it could come in handy to still be able to wield an Eternal Weapon.

 _Still seems like a step back in the wrong direction._ Clarke wasn't happy with him either, as she didn't tire to inform him. _What? Did you forget what we worked so hard for last year?_

 _No I didn't._ He ran his hands through his hair, pacing, glaring at Kane as the man squinted at him suspiciously now, clearly noticing that he was in his head again.

Sure enough he quipped, "She doesn't support this either, does she?"

Bellamy's angry frown deepened. "Just shut up," he retorted. "We need to get going and meet up with them. Try to reach Arkadia before the Zoners do."

"Bellamy, you're not ready yet. You—"

"I am! _We_ did this, Kane. We screwed this up and now the Zoners are coming for our people. I need to do something to stop them." He felt frustratingly helpless, and the other man's attitude didn't help.

_He's right, Bell._

_You're really siding with him?_

_I'm not siding with anyone. I'm worried about you. Besides, we're on our way back. We're going as fast as we can to alert our people. You and Kane are probably safer just going at your own pace._

_I don't want to be safe, Clarke. I want to be with you. And our people._

There was a surge of affection coming from her that he easily reciprocated, relieved that despite their arguing, it didn't change anything between them.

 _Just… promise me to not overdo it, and we'll discuss the rest later,_ she eventually told him, and he smiled, communicating his agreement. Then he focused back on Kane.

"Let's go," he said, grabbing his bag before he made his way past the annoyed looking other man and out the window.

"You're a bully, Bellamy Blake," Kane called out, and Bellamy smirked at him.

"Runs in the family."

With that he was out, and took a deep breath before deciding which way to go. Arkadia lay to the East so that's where they needed to head. He knew they wouldn't be very fast on foot, but thankfully, he also knew that the Zoners didn't really use horses, so they might be able to catch up if they just kept going…

 _Don't overdo it_ , Clarke reminded him and for the first time in forever he was a little annoyed that she could sometimes just read his thoughts.

_Okay, princess…_

* * *

…

The next time they saw each other, should have felt awkward. John had been prepared for silent treatment or being ignored or even a little speech of how maybe they could just agree to pretend it never happened. And he would have probably gone along with all of it.

But then he walked into Kane's kitchen, just to steal a cup of the man's awful tea and maybe a cookie or two before going in to face Raven and be poked by a needle again, and she was already there, sitting at the table, greeting him with an unexpected smile.

Taken visibly aback, he needed a moment to process, to understand that this girl was actually smiling at him. Well, now it was a frown-smile.

"You decide to ignore me now or something?" she asked, making him roll his eyes as he pushed himself off the doorway to swagger over to her.

"Nah, I just… wasn't sure whether maybe you'd want to…?" He trailed off as she laughed at him.

"And here I used to think you were a cocky bastard, John Murphy, when in truth you're actually kinda sweet."

She had gotten up off her chair to walk over to meet him halfway, and a little shily, she grabbed his hands and got on her tiptoes to lightly kiss him.

"Kinda sweet, huh?" he said, smiling, before he leaned in to kiss her again just as they heard a loud banging at the door and they both startled, letting go of each other.

"The hell was that?" Raven shot him a cautious glance that he answered with a shrug.

"Let's find out."

…

When they had reached the door, the banging was still continuing, and Raven opened it with annoyance, only to face Commander Jaha.

"You're back?!" she blurted, feeling like an idiot, but the commander didn't seem to care that she had just stated the obvious in a rather unfriendly tone.

"Raven Reyes?"

"Uh, yeah…"

"What's this about?" John had appeared by her side, putting an arm before her rather protectively, and she was equal parts annoyed and moved by the gesture. Looking briefly at him, she turned her attention back to Jaha quickly as he explained, "We didn't even think we'd find anyone anymore. But just before we got to the Golden borders, we found a few survivors, most of them with severe Eternal wounds, and since Kane isn't back, I was hoping you could help…"

He didn't wait for her reply, instead already barging past her and Murphy, leading a group of people carrying injured into the hallway. "Where should we bring them?"

"Uh…" Raven's eyes widened at the sheer number of people, at Jaha's sudden complete trust in her abilities, and it took her a minute to find her ability to speak again. Pointing, she rushed to get ahead of them all, Murphy following her with a nod.

"The lab is down there. Kane has a few guest rooms, too. Maybe… maybe set them up there first and I'll do my rounds. You'll need to tell me who's worst off…"

Jaha shot her a glance, still directing his people into the house, and all Raven could think was what Kane would think when he came home to this. If he came home…

As things went crazy, she was relieved to feel Murphy's hand on her back briefly, hearing him say, "At your service, Reyes."

Then she took a deep breath and guided the men and women further into the house, shoving up her sleeves as she went, trying to get a first grasp on how bad everyone was. There were no screams, nothing like what she'd seen on a battlefield before, nothing that would indicate that any of the soldiers had suffered Eternal scars, but then she saw the traitorous sheen on arms and legs and faces, everywhere and she knew it was going to be impossible to save these people. Her breath caught, and she froze.

"Reyes? Raven."

She looked up to see John frown at her, his hands on her upper arms.

"They're going to die," she muttered, "they're already dead, I can't do anything for them anymore. I don't even know how they made it this long…"

"Just do what you can, I'll help you."

She stifled a sob, wiping her eyes as she took a deep breath, Jaha and his soldiers unaware of her little moment.

"I don't know what to do! All I could try is ease their suffering until they die—"

"Then we'll do that." John looked determined, strong. His firm grip helped ground her. "Raven... Whatever we can. Okay? No one expects anything else."

"Whatever we can," she repeated, nodding. Putting her hair into a tighter ponytail, she then proceeded, racing into the lab and rummaging through the drawers for anything and everything she could maybe use. "Someone get some medical personnel from the hospital," she then ordered, and Jaha nodded. "On it!"

Then he was off and she was in charge.

She could do this. She had to.

* * *

…

The farther they went into the wasteland, the worse off Octavia had been. Her leg wasn't ready yet for walking, she knew it, and so did Finn. But he also knew her well enough to understand her need to pretend she was okay and could take care of herself. However, the point had come and gone where it was time to stop. She was leaning on him with pretty much all her weight, and he'd done his best to keep up with that, but now he was exhausted too, his shoulder and arm protesting with ever new surges of pain. So he was ready to call it a day, when Octavia abruptly stopped to point.

"Look," she said, "it can't be much more than a mile now, and we'll be there. Let's rest as soon as we're down there."

He had to squint a little, not sure what he was seeing in the dusky light that didn't even tell him how late it really was. It could have been close to nightfall or just after noon for all he knew. The Ruins were still producing a lot of smoke, almost like a volcano, and he wasn't sure how great of an idea it was to set up camp there at all. But he was also ready to just plop down somewhere, so he wasn't going to argue.

If Octavia said this was the place for them to rest, then fine, he could deal with that.

"Okay," he therefore said out loud, taking a deep breath to steel himself for the last leg of today's trek, then he tightened his grip around her again and half hurled her on with him.

* * *

…

Octavia felt awful. Not just because of her leg that wouldn't stop reminding her that it was broken in too many places and would probably never work properly again. But also because Finn was putting up with her without complaint.

She had half hoped he'd return to being whiney and mopey and complain about being stuck with her or how awful the fate of an Eternal was, or, heck, even about being away from Raven, so she could at least be annoyed with him. But instead he had kept cajoling her on, almost too chipper for her own grumpy mood, thus making it impossible for her to direct her grumpy mood at him.

It was only within the last two hours or so that he had suddenly grown concerningly quiet. All she could really hear from him was his labored breathing and the occasional half-grunt when she asked whether he was okay.

When they finally reached the blackened precipice leading down into the exploded core, they were both so exhausted they could barely stay upright anymore, and the bleakness of the Ruins didn't exactly function as an energy boost either.

There was almost nothing there anymore. None of the huts of the miners, none of the sheen of the metal except for a smoldering gleam, no people, no trees or machinery.

The only thing that had survived were the Black Ruins themselves. Large structures of buildings from the Before. A sea of them, vast like a city, half buried under dirt since way before their time, stood before them, and while she had never heard of anyone daring to go in there for fear they might collapse, she was ready to do just that now. They needed some kind of shelter after all, and this was their best bet. It couldn't be much worse than laying down straight on the ashen ground that was still warm in places so close to the core.

Jerking her head in that direction, she lightly nudged an absent looking Finn. "Ready to be a little adventurous and walk into ruins with me again?" She grinned, but his answering smile was a bit wan at best, so she decided to just steer him into the direction and he followed without complaint.

"Can't be so bad, right?" he eventually said, and she agreed, even though deep down she wasn't so sure.

They decided on checking out the structure furthest away from the crater, which seemed to be the most intact. It almost even still looked like a building, a tower perhaps, not quite unlike the large construction Aurora had had built on her mining site. Octavia had to wonder now whether it had maybe actually been modeled after this one.

"You sure about this?" Finn asked, shooting her a glance as they stood before it, large black beams rising up into the dark sky, so tall even though it was quite obvious that the upper stories had long collapsed, the windows broken out and staring back at them like unseeing eyes. Octavia felt a bit creeped out, but she couldn't let on how she was really feeling. She was the strong Captain's daughter, offspring of the evil queen, and she didn't show her fear.

So she squared her shoulders as best as she could and nodded. "Come on, or are you too scared?"

Rolling his eyes, Finn pressed his lips together, visibly annoyed, though he didn't say anything. Instead he walked forward in a straight line, so fast that it was hard for her to hang onto him, her leg feeling like a log of pain underneath her.

There were no doors anymore, the entrance a wide open gap of collapsed walls, but it looked like they, too, had been in that position for a long time, so not a recent development and chances were they weren't going to crash down on them now.

Inside, it was dark and dusty, a strange dry smell in the air. But the deeper they ventured inside, the less they could smell of the smoke and ashes, and the more the ruin's own smell came to the forefront.

"Somebody should air this place out. Smells worse than at the gym back at the academy," Finn joked, and Octavia was honestly surprised that he was in the mood for it. But it felt good.

"And that's with all the windows broken out…" She chuckled, but the sound died on her lips quickly. She was too tired and the building too dark and creepy and she was simply ready to let it all go for today and just drop down where she now stood and sleep. Swallowing, she tapped his chest lightly as he continued on, ever deeper into the building.

"Can we…" Gosh, her mouth felt so dry. "Can we stop? I… really need to sit down."

"Ya, okay," he said, frowning at her before he quickly scanned the place. "Over there. Come on, I'll carry you."

"I can walk just fine," she snapped, swatting him away, although they both knew she wouldn't be able to walk much without using him as a crutch.

"Suit yourself," he said, scoffing. He took a few steps back, raising his arms as if in surrender, only to abruptly hiss out and double over from the motion. "Shit," he cursed, and she hobbled over to him gracelessly to gently touch his arm.

"You alright?" She hated how anxious she suddenly was. A weird mix of fear and worry had made her skin break out in goosebumps, her heart sinking down into her stomach. He really did need that bandage. And someone to examine his shoulder. "Finn?"

"Fine." Slowly, he straightened again, his face as ashen as the wasteland outside, dark circles under his eyes, cheeks sunken to the point where they made him look almost hollowed out in the darkness of their shelter.

"You're not fine."

"Ya, well, nothing we can do about that now, is there? Do me a favor and let me just get you over there. It's further away from the windows so the wind won't get to us as much. And besides, it looks like there could be some type of chairs there. Something to maybe sleep on instead of on the cold floor."

Her voice was small when she grudgingly accepted, more for his sake than her own. No, scratch that, she was relieved to let go and allow him to see her weak side. To accept his help and not have to walk even just a few more inches without him. Besides, he had seen her at her worst already, hadn't he? And he was still here.

And so was she.

"Okay…"

He picked her up rather unceremoniously, almost like she was just a toddler, then he quickly carried her over where there were indeed a couple of chairs strewn across the floor in what seemed to have once been a room with glass walls - and why would anyone build walls made of glass?

Once he set her down on one of them, she adjusted her leg as best as she could, massaging it as she watched him put the chairs up so that someone could indeed lie in the middle of them, and with a nod, he invited her to do just that before he slumped down right next to her, a heaving breath shuddering out of him as he closed his eyes.

She smiled. "I'll be first shift. You go sleep."

"I… wha?!" Bleary eyed he looked at her, and she just nudged him lightly.

"Or how about we both lie down together? Not like anyone is likely to come in here, and I'm freaking freezing."

He gave her a curious look, but then shrugged. "Yeah, okay, fine… I'll just…"

Then his head suddenly snapped back as his body started seizing and he crashed to the floor, making Octavia yell out for him in shock.

No…


	19. Together again

...

They lay huddled in the dark. Clarke was trying to get comfortable on her side because she couldn't lay on her freaking stomach anymore, Abby right next to her, looking through binoculars.

For a couple days now they had been forced to lay low and wait it out because the large troop of Zoners ahead of them had set up camp and hadn't moved for days. Why that was the case, Clarke had no idea. Briefly, she had entertained the idea of sneaking past them somehow to go and alert Arkadia, but the only way past the group was on the other side of the ravine they were traveling in and she didn't like the idea of not seeing their enemy, of losing sight of them completely.

She wanted them to be back out in the open before she did that. Then, they could climb up the mountain to their side a little more and get past them without alerting anyone to their presence.

But the waiting was frustrating and felt counter intuitive, and she didn't like it one bit. Upon hearing her mom gasp beside her, she turned her attention toward her. "What is it?"

"I think they have some of our people."

Clarke's brow creased in sorrow. "We haven't found any survivors. You honestly think they did and captured them?"

Abby put down the binoculars, shaking her head, then she handed them over to her daughter, pointing. "Look to the side of the big tent in the middle. I think that's Jackson. I worked with him at the hospital way back when, remember?… The woman with the brown hair, I've seen her before, too. I just can't quite place her right now…"

Clarke held the binoculars before her eyes, squinting through. She had to look for a bit, but then she saw what her mom had seen. That was Jackson indeed. But she had never seen the woman. And they didn't seem to be too unhappy about their stay among the Zoners.

"Doesn't look like they're hostages," Clarke muttered, feeling a sudden sense of betrayal. But then she noticed the other figures huddled together and while they didn't seem to be held against their will, she noticed that most of them were injured, looking weary and tired. The Zoners coming by had maybe been their only chance to survive. Because Clarke had failed them, hadn't been able to get to them first for some reason.

"What do we do now?"

She scoffed. This was not an easy decision, but the only choice she saw was doing nothing. "We wait for them to keep moving, just like we planned. Then we head on to Arkadia to warn our people."

"What about our people down there?" Abby asked, and Clarke gave her a look that made her mom nod. She understood.

 _We need to at least try and get them out_ , Bellamy piped up in Clarke's head, and her face fell a little with a sudden surge of sadness and sympathy. She knew where he was coming from. He felt like he had failed these people that had accompanied him to the mining site of the Black Ruins. No one could have foreseen the disaster that had happened, and yet he felt responsible. She couldn't blame him because she would have felt the same. She did feel the same. These people had trusted them, and they had paid dearly for it.

 _We can't, Bellamy,_ she said, rubbing her eyes. While she was glad being able to speak with him again, to feel him, it was tiring to always do it in her mind. Lately it had gotten more strenuous. As if being pregnant took all of her body's energy and the bond was too hard to maintain on top of that.

She still hadn't even had enough time to think properly about the fact that she was going to have a baby. A baby, when she was still mostly living in a tent, in a world getting ready for yet another battle. And now she was arguing with Bellamy?

 _We're not arguing. Are we?_ he seemed too good natured to be, for sure… She could also feel his excitement washing over from when she had mentioned their baby, and she had to smile.

_You know we can't help them, right? We're too few people, and we need to think of the ones back home…_

"You're right," he said, startling both her and her mom visibly, and she turned around, scrambling up, trying to comprehend, as Abby did the same.

Clarke's heart felt ready to explode as she raced toward where he had suddenly appeared, his hair shaggy, his clothes dirty and worn, looking incredibly tired but with a smile on his face that mirrored her own.

"Bellamy," she gasped, her arms coming up around his neck as their foreheads touched, as she breathed him in, her relief so overwhelming that it almost made her knees buckle.

For a long time she just clung to him, then moved a little to be able to kiss him, the touch of his chapped lips the best feeling she'd felt in a while. Then she glimpsed a waving Marcus Kane from over Bellamy's shoulder and slowly disentangled herself, never completely letting go.

"Where the hell did you guys come from?" she asked, "You just gave me a freaking heart attack."

Clarke needed more time to completely process that he was really here. With her. That he had somehow managed to catch up with them and had been able to sneak up behind them like that.

"Sorry, princess," Bellamy said, "Didn't mean to startle you."

"It's just… if you saw us—"

He shook his head, interrupting her quickly. "There's no way they can see you from down there. We got lucky. You had mentioned the ravine and so I figured you'd stay atop it."

"He was pretty insistent…" Kane was grinning, his arm around Abby, who had snuggled up to him, looking as relieved as her daughter.

"I bet he was…" Clarke had half forgotten their little argument, or where they were, but then it all came back with sudden ferocity when Shaw came into view, motioning for them to get down.

"What?" she mouthed as they all went down on their stomachs, trying to see in the ever growing darkness. Shaw pointed toward the east of the ravine, a little away from the main Zoner camp, and as they all looked a little closer, they could see movement. People were starting to pack up and move. They had probably been waiting for nightfall to resume their trek, protected by the ravine and darkness, and Clarke felt her chest tighten.

The Zoners were smart, and organized, and there were a lot of them. She still had some hope left that they'd be able to talk with them, but with every day that passed, that hope grew smaller. There was something rather determined about the Zoners' movements, and she wondered whether they'd even be willing to listen to anything other than force.

_Probably not…_

She looked at Bellamy, taking a deep breath as their gazes met. Gosh, she had missed him so much. As if she hadn't been whole this entire time. But now that he was here, she knew they would be able to find a way to resolve all this. They had to.

* * *

…

The lab looked like a battlefield when Raven finally slumped down into one of the chairs and just took a few deep breaths, taking it all in. At least the house had grown quiet, and her patients had all been treated as best as possible.

"Want me to stay? Help you clean up a bit?"

She looked up to see Anya poke her head in. The woman was a young doctor at the hospital and had followed Commander Jaha earlier to help out. It had also been her to determine that bringing them over to the hospital wouldn't really do much at this point; the only thing they could do was make it as comfortable for their patients as possible.

Because that's all that was left for them to do anymore.

With a sigh, Raven shook her head. "Nah, I'll get on it in a bit. Since I know where everything goes it shouldn't be too bad. Thanks though."

"You sure?"

She forced herself to smile, then nodded. "See you tomorrow morning?"

It was Anya's turn to nod, and a brief smile flitted across her face, making her hard features look almost soft for a fleeting moment. Then she was off and Raven alone in the brightly illuminated study.

"Alright," she cajoled herself, pushing herself up to get onto her task, as she tried to force her brain to work. Where even to start? She had told Anya she knew where everything went, but that was kind of a lie. She had rummaged through all the drawers earlier, like a maniac looking for things to maybe whip up something akin to Kane's concoction, but it hadn't worked so well, and now everything lay strewn around. On top of that there was blood and rags and dirt on the floor and it was just—

"Pretty disgusting."

John had appeared by the door, arms crossed in front of him as he seemed to debate whether he even wanted to come in. Then he abruptly walked toward a corner to the far end of the room and grabbed a mop Raven hadn't even noticed before.

"Alright," he said, "I'll clean this nasty floor, and you'll take care of… this stuff." He picked up a half opened package of gloves that had lain on the ground and handed it to her with a smirk. "Come on, Reyes, the sooner you're done, the sooner I'll be able to give you one of my world famous massages."

She raised an eyebrow, half heartedly beginning to stow away things. "World famous massages, huh? I didn't realize you were a masseur."

"There's so much you still don't know about me. I'm a deep ocean, vastly unexplored," he joked, and she had to roll her eyes, but with a grin. His strategy was working; already she felt a little better.

…

Only once even the last piece was back in its assigned place did they eventually call it a day, and with a last look at the now clean lab, Raven turned off the lights and grabbed John's hand, following him down the hallway.

They peeked into the guest rooms, making sure everyone was still hanging on, then went over to Raven's room together, where John stopped in his tracks, a little awkwardly scratching his head.

"Um…" he stuttered, unsure of what to say or do. Could he kiss her? Was that too forward after a day like today? Was he thinking this over? "You were amazing today," he then said, inwardly cringing at his words. But then she surprised him by leaning forward, grabbing the lapels of his shirt and half pulling him with her into the room, her mouth already on his, her legs straddling him abruptly, almost making him topple under the added weight, and together they tumbled toward her bed, where all rational thoughts vanished instantly as he pushed her down onto the covers, and she pulled her shirt off quickly, then tugged at his belt with an urgency that startled him for just a second before he reciprocated it.

The day had been freaking hard, these suffering people…

Now, though, now it was just her and him and this damn dark room with the way too big bed and all he cared about anymore was to be with her.

Tomorrow would come, even now he knew that, but he didn't care. Not in this moment, not with her. Finally, he didn't feel so alone in his head anymore. Because he had her…


	20. Being used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know or remember what name Diyoza goes by when she’s referring to herself. For this story I therefore went with “Char.”
> 
> Hope it’s not too confusing.

...

He wanted to rip his arm off. Hell, make that his arm and shoulder. It needed to stop, just stop or he'd lose it completely.

This was agony. Hell. Whatever he wanted to call it. How had he forgotten so quickly? After Kane had healed his scar, he had gotten so used to the absence of pain, but the idiot that he was, he hadn't even really appreciated it, had he? He had been sorry for himself most of the time, hadn't helped out much at the camp or anywhere. Hadn't helped Raven, either. He had been a freaking ghost. As if without the pain he had been nothing anymore. Well, he should be happier now then. Because the pain was back. Maybe even worse than before, hard to say.

"Finn, look at me."

He half snorted, not a very gallant or gentlemanly sound, not that anyone cared.

"Look at me."

Another wave made his body writhe as if of its own accord, and he clenched his jaw so hard he felt his teeth gnash. If they broke, he wouldn't even be half surprised. It was all too much.

"Please. Please don't die on me now." She sounded awfully upset. "I lost everyone already. Lincoln…" A sob interrupted her, and something in him zapped. Octavia Blake was crying, over all the ones she'd lost.

Over him.

"No one ever comes back. No one ever stays. Lincoln was… he was my soulmate and now he's gone. Bell…" She sobbed again, harder now, and he felt a drop land on his cheek, suddenly becoming aware of his body again, not just his arm or his shoulder. Not just that blazing searing ice cold heat. A tear on his cheek, a hand on his chest, one holding his hand, stroking his fingers…

"Please don't leave me alone. I can't do this by myself. I…"

Fighting, he tried to open his eyes. This girl was breaking down, and he was making it worse. He needed to pull himself together, and snap out of it. A soft gasp escaped him as yet another pulse shot through him, but he did manage to blink, his eyelids fluttering for a bit until he could finally focus on her.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, trying to smile and not quite getting it right, and her eyes widened as she looked at him. "I don't know what happened…"

"Oh gosh, Finn! You scared the crap out of me." Gently, she pressed down on his chest as he tried to sit up, shaking her head. "Don't. I don't want you to collapse again."

Collapse? She nodded although he was certain he hadn't said that out loud, but she could probably see the question in his eyes.

With a sigh, he closed them again briefly, only for her to gently pat his cheek.

"Stay with me," she said, and he swatted at her hand with a hint of annoyance.

"I'm fine. I just need to…" Yeah, what? Apparently he had passed out like an idiot and now she'd only think even worse of him. Not that it mattered much. Maybe after another minute of rest he could show her that he wasn't as breakable as she thought. Looking up, he saw her staring down at him, but there was no annoyance in her features, just genuine worry.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "Didn't mean to make an idiot out of myself again."

A soft scoff escaped her. "You're not an idiot, Finn. You're injured. It's a miracle you managed that long without a bandage. - Speaking of… I have a confession…"

She trailed off or maybe he was drifting off, he wasn't entirely sure, but as another surge of pain raced through him, making him throw back his head and buck under it as if his body was possessed, he couldn't follow anymore, couldn't really think. Gritting his teeth, he tried to stay awake, for her more than anything, and as his eyes tried to focus on her, to focus on something other than the pain, he saw that worry in her face again before he didn't see anything anymore.

* * *

…

"No no no no no…" Octavia slapped Finn's cheeks, first gently, then harder. Then she pushed a fist down on his sternum, rubbing over it with her knuckles like she had seen people do to the injured after battle. But his eyes only briefly flickered open again, before his head lolled to the side and she was alone again.

"No. Please…"

Scanning the room, she tried to come up with something to do. Because she needed to do something. The floor was cold. Maybe, if she could find a few more blankets…

But that wouldn't help with the actual problem. Hissing briefly, she repositioned her pulsing leg, then pulled down Finn's shirt a bit to check on his shoulder. The sheen hadn't spread much on that side, which was a small relief. On his left arm, however, it had crept up all the way to his neck, almost like it had done on Bell all those months ago.

He had come back from that, she reminded herself, her brother had come back from it and so would Finn. She repeated it over and over in her head like a mantra while she carefully got up, trying to find something she could use as a crutch. She'd have to go down to the burnt core, hoping she'd find any remnants of the metal. Maybe if she found a piece of fabric, she could at least try to make a bandage out of it.

Swallowing, she ran a hand over her face, grinning in desperation. How was she supposed to do that? She hadn't paid attention at all, barely even remembered that the fabric wasn't spun from the metal itself, but infused with it somehow. But how?

Finn relied on her to figure this out. And she… she relied on him. She couldn't do this alone. Without him. Going back where she had no one anymore. Slowly but surely, she made her way deeper into the building. The farther she walked, the more tilted the floor became. Stooping down, she picked up what looked like part of a desk perhaps or a chair, a long piece of metal with a bow at the end, and she used it as a crutch of sorts. It helped a little, which was good, but her leg was dead weight, a rather painful dead weight, and the longer she was upright, the worse it got.

A light would have been nice, too, a torch. But she was too afraid to try and light a fire in here. She didn't even trust the integrity of the stupid building anymore. While its outer casing had withstood time, the inside looked a lot worse. Stories had crashed down into each other, and she knew there were at least still ten or so above her.

Swallowing, she decided to try and get up there anyways, provided she could find a staircase. And she was lucky. Right next to an ominous square shaped black hole leading both up and down, she found mostly intact looking stairs.

"Please don't break," she whispered to herself, then slowly heaved herself up. When she had climbed up to the first landing, she peeked back down to scan the room, looking for Finn's still form. "I'll be back soon," she called out to him, praying that it was true. Because if she messed this up, if she got herself killed now, he would die, too.

* * *

…

Charmaine Diyoza didn't like Echo. Or the Neutral Zoners for that matter. But she had given her everything to follow the promises of the Captain son and the Princess, and it had led her here. Rationally, she understood that these two hadn't planned or even expected the explosion to be this devastating. But it had been. And now a large portion of earth was dead, and most of her people along with it. She would never forget their screams…

So when Echo had offered to take her and the remaining few of their troops in, she had accepted on their behalf. Jackson hadn't been happy with her, and neither had McCreary. But the man never liked any of her decisions, even now that he was one of the first ones to profit from them.

Since both he and Char had been Eternals once, the Zoners had been most interested in them, had checked them over for injuries sustained during the explosion and had been positively thrilled to find a few small scrapes and cuts, some of them tinged a slight silver. Small Eternal wounds, painful, but nothing too awful, though that could change the longer it lasted. After all, even a small pain could become grating if it never stopped. She knew that all too well.

Echo had had a bandage for them, already knowing what Char hadn't even quite realized herself: that the scar on her arm had begun gleaming again. Not much, just a little, but the sheen had grown over the last few days they had spent in the company of the Zoners.

Now the Zoner king's second was back to check on her yet again, before they'd all head out into the night, and she looked pleased when Char showed her the arm.

"You can wrap it up again," she now said, and Char did as she was told.

"What's your plan?" she asked the other woman with a suspicious squint, and Echo frowned at her.

"You know our plan. We'll help return you to your people."

"Out of the goodness of your hearts?" She scoffed. "I've played along so far, but I'm not dumb. I want the truth. You're planning an attack, aren't you? That's why we're always traveling at night…"

Echo didn't even try to deny it. "You're smart," she said, nothing more, and Char sighed tiredly.

"You want to use us against them."

"I wouldn't put it that way. In fact, I want you all on our side. I want you to persuade the other cured Eternals to switch over too, regain their lost powers, like you did."

"You mean regain their pain." Char glared at the woman as she shrugged at her. She was trying to gauge what Echo was really thinking. She was smart, that was for sure. This was a once in a lifetime chance to get to a lot of former Eternals at once, recruit them for their cause. Normally, they were strewn across the territories, but ever since the Captain had perished and her son had taken up command, things had changed, and the Eternals had lost all power. She wasn't even sure whether Echo didn't maybe have a point.

"Pain is a part of life, Diyoza. Wouldn't you rather have power with it? Be on the side that allowed you to use that power?"

Losing the pain had felt fantastic at first. Char remembered her exhilaration, her relief. But soon, she had begun to miss something. The privilege and power that came with being an Eternal. Now this woman was offering it all back.

And Char found herself nodding. "Okay."

* * *

…

Marcus was walking with Abby, interlinking his fingers with hers. She was guiding her horse, and he was relieved that for once he didn't have to carry all their things anymore.

Traveling with Bellamy for weeks had… changed him. He was leaner, stronger, but also more exhausted, and a bit of relief was just the right thing.

Having Abby back, however, was what really mattered. As he leaned in a little, to breathe her in, she moved her head away a little, stifling a soft giggle, quite unlike herself. But he liked it.

Then he sobered quickly as he saw the few dim lights from torches down below in the ravine, wondering whether his old friend Nyko was there, just a few hundred feet away from where he walked, destruction on his mind.

Things had gotten out of hand. He had had all the best intentions to stop the war and make sure there was a power balance between all, Golden, Silveren, Neutral Zoners, and yes, even foresters. But Nyko had brought it all to the next level, had turned it all into a new war.

No. Marcus swallowed, shaking his head, which made Abby look at him with a frown.

"I was just blaming Nyko for this mess," he admitted, "but in truth it's my fault. All of it."

"Marcus…"

"No, it is. I should have talked to him again. We once shared the same agenda, and he's not a bad man. I know him. This… this looming war…" He sighed. "This is not the Nyko I know. He wanted to prevent a war, not start one. Yes, he went about it the wrong way - _we_ did. But—"

"There's still a chance to talk," Abby interjected, gripping his hand harder, and he wondered how he even deserved this woman in his life. How he deserved to be given all these extra chances that made him see clearer. "If we make it to Arkadia before they do…"

"They're angry," Marcus noted, and Abby nodded.

"Of course they are. We came out to stop them from getting the metal and ended up blowing half the Neutral Zone into oblivion. We lost so many people, and we don't even know how many died on their side. They interpreted it as an act of war; we would have done the same. I mean," she gave him a pointed look, "we already took them going in and planning to ransack the mining site as an act of war - and we're not even Silveren."

Marcus nodded, seeing her point. "I should have examined the mining site more," he berated himself, shaking his head in dismay. "I overlooked something and now we're all paying for it, the Zoners as much as we are."

"You didn't know. We all didn't."

"Yeah…"

The excuse didn't work. Not for him. But he'd take it for now. They didn't speak for a long time, just nudging each other gently every so often, Marcus pointing out how Abby's daughter had wrapped her arm around Bellamy's waist, both of them walking almost as one. He knew how much the kid had missed the girl, and he was glad to see them so happy, see him hold up so well.

If someone had told him just a year or so ago that he'd one day think of the Silveren Captain's son almost as his own, he wouldn't have believed it. But the last few weeks had done something to him, had changed him completely.

As if suddenly he understood what it truly meant to care for others. Not just in a romantic kind of way like with Abby, but differently. The encounter with Bellamy had changed him. The boy's fierce will to change the world into a better place, maybe it had rubbed off on Marcus more than he had realized.

He only hoped there was a way still to stop the war and see this kid lead the world to peace after all.

* * *

…

The sun was rising like a bleary pink gray ball when they finally set up camp. The Zoners had walked the entire night, and even though Clarke had felt deeply exhausted, she had urged her little group on.

Their paramount interest was to get to Arkadia before the Zoners, so they had to keep up. Had to stay on their tracks until eventually they'd have to sneak past and ahead, something Clarke intended on doing as soon as the ravine widened into a larger canyon and they could hide easier from the people down below. There was a large forest coming up ahead that they would use for shelter, and she hoped to reach it in a day or two, but right now she was so glad to be able to just lay down for a bit and rest. Her stomach felt tight and uncomfortable, and Abby had told her she needed to take it easier or she'd end up with premature labor, and she couldn't risk that, not out here.

"You okay, princess?" Bellamy whispered, a hand in her hair where she had rested her head against him. He was lying on his side, still unable to put his weight on his back, and she marveled at the meandering mass that the fire of the explosion had created on his skin. Like a map. Raw, and red, and painful.

"Yuh," she muttered now, her finger grazing the edges of the wound, far enough away to not hurt him, and she sighed.

"Baby okay?"

"I think so. Little kicker. I think baby likes this adventure more than me." She chuckled softly, looking up to see him smile, before she sobered again. Her hand had wandered further, to his arm, lightly touching the bandage Indra had given him and she made a mental note to thank that woman when and if she next saw her.

"So the scar is back to the way it was," she said, and felt his jaw muscles work. "How you coping with that? I haven't really been able to share any pain, I'm so sorry, mom thinks it's because of the baby—"

"Sh…" He shushed her, softly, a finger to her lips, and she frowned at him, seeing the smile still in place. "I'm okay," he said, "I really am." It sounded like a promise. "To be honest I thought I'd be more upset about this being back. I mean, it's undoing everything we worked so hard for. But… I don't know. There's worse things. And I'm just glad I got you. And this little one right here…"

Sighing, she allowed him to leave it at that as her fingers trailed further, reaching other parts.

"What do you think you're doing?" He chuckled softly, and she smirked at him, flirting.

"What do _you_ think?"

"Didn't your mom say you need all the rest you can get?"

"She also said I need to do something to fight the stress…"

He raised an eyebrow. "That so?"

"Unh huh."

"In that case…" Abruptly, he pushed himself up and gently rolled her over until she lay on her back. "Close your eyes and de-stress with me, princess." And with that he vanished between her legs, making her stifle a giggle with the back of her hand.

Gosh, this felt too good. She had missed him so much, had missed this, too. If only they wouldn't have to deal with the world out there...


	21. The Blazing

...

A strange light came filtering down the staircase, making Octavia blink. Panting, she held onto the banister, needing a moment to rest her throbbing leg and catch her breath. She had made her way almost to the top and felt ready to collapse.

So far, she had searched every story, finding a few useful things here and there. Some blankets, wood she had thrown down so she could maybe build a fire with it later, and a lot of things she had no idea what they even were. Black flat screens of some sort, most of them broken, with letter boards before them. Maybe some strange communications devices, she didn't know and didn't really care.

But now there was this sheen and a stupid part of her hoped that maybe there was a source of Eternal metal up there, something she could use to help Finn.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she had to fight so the world would stop spinning. She was so exhausted… Then she took a deep breath and continued on her way. The sheen grew with every step, making her skin crawl a bit. What was she going to find up there?

When she had gotten to the last set of stairs which looked rather broken and dangerous, she noticed that a few planks of some material, maybe wood, had been laid over them on one side, almost like a ramp.

Manmade.

Someone had been here before her, that much was clear. With caution, she made it up the last bit, dragging her leg behind her, panting heavily, only to be greeted by what looked like glowing kid-sized dolls at first glance, but then they stood up and loomed over her like the largest people she'd ever seen.

Gasping in shock, she froze as she tried to gauge what to make of these creatures - no, people - that stood huddled together, chattering in some type of language she didn't understand.

She put on a smile and held away the hand that wasn't holding the banister for support. "Hi," she said, her voice barely complying, "I'm Octavia. I don't mean any harm. I'm just looking for something to help my friend with…"

The people were exchanging glances, looking at her nervously out of deep dark eyes. Most of them had deformed looking limbs, but that wasn't what made her openly stare at them. After all, she had been out in the forests often, playing with the deformed for as long as she could remember. These people, however, positively shone, not just in some places, but everywhere. Like they had bathed in Eternal metal.

Her brain stuttered, then started back up again, her thoughts beginning to race.

"I… my friend, he has an injury?" She hobbled toward them, slow enough to not set them off, though they seemed wary of her. Indicating her arm, then her shoulder, then pointing at them, she continued. "It has a sheen, just like your skin… He… we're not build for it, though, and and and… he's in pain. He's going to die if I can't find a way to… contain the spreading…"

The dark eyes were all trained on her, an unanswered question visible in them. Some of the strangers had cocked their heads, some were still chattering in low voices, as if discussing what she could be talking about.

Then, one of them stepped forward, making Octavia back away a little, her heart now pounding. What if these guys thought it best to get rid of her?

The tall stranger, a woman as far as Cassia could tell, tapped her chest, enunciating, "Dell." Then she pointed at Octavia. "O-tavia?"

She nodded with excitement. "Yes." She patted her chest. "Octavia. Nice to meet you, Dell." Pointing down, she paused briefly to collect herself before continuing. "Please, my friend really needs help, if there's anything—"

Dell moved her head up and down slowly, like an exaggerated nod. "Help," she said. "Frien?"

"Yuh." Octavia turned half toward the stairs, waving her arm. "He's down there."

"Dell come. Bring frien."

Octavia nodded, deducting that the woman was offering to accompany her, but unsure whether she was going to bring friends or whether she meant she'd bring Finn up here. "Okay. Thank you," she said anyways. Then she bowed her head, touching her heart, thus making Dell cock her head and smile.

"Okay thank you," the woman repeated, probably not quite understanding what it meant, and Octavia had to smile. But when she moved to climb back down, the woman lightly touched her arm and shook her head.

"Dell bring frien. O-tavia here."

And Octavia nodded, finally understanding. Hopefully Finn was still unconscious and wouldn't freak out when this shimmering tall stranger came to grab him. But she couldn't do anything about it now. With a sigh, she let herself sink to the topmost stair, allowing herself to take a few heaving breaths. Part of her was glad she didn't have to go back down yet. She was so exhausted. As she watched the woman descend down the stairs, shooting her a last smiling gaze, she was aware of some of the others approaching her from behind and she forced herself to remain calm and not flinch away when they began touching her, which wasn't easy.

Gritting her teeth, she smiled. But then one of them kneeled down before her, looking at her as his gleaming hands reached out to touch her hurt leg, and she did flinch away. The man said something she couldn't understand, but it sounded soothing, and she relaxed a little.

"It's broken multiple times," she explained, which of course he probably couldn't understand either, but he nodded, a soft smile on his face, as he patted her leg down, making her yelp out in places. Then he turned to his comrades and chattered away over her head before returning his attention to her.

"Help," he then said, indicating her leg, then he patted himself like Dell had done before. "Sung. Sung help O-tavia."

"Okay…"

Then he helped her get up, motioning for another one to come over and assist as they got her deeper into their strange realm.

* * *

…

They got their chance to get past the Zoner troops on the following day.

Clarke spurred them all on to be as fast as they could. For the first leg of their remaining journey they went on foot, but as soon as they were far enough away, she urged Shaw, Harper, Monty, and Nate to go ahead and alert Commander Jaha about the danger coming their way, while she and Abby were sharing their horses with Bellamy and Marcus, trying to catch up.

They had traveled the entire night, following the Zoners, keeping track of their movements, and were tired now, ready to rest themselves. But there was no time. Clarke needed to warn her people, and while she had sent out her companions, she didn't want to stay behind, needed to be there and help defend her city and the camp at its gates that didn't have any real defenses of its own.

 _What do you want to do once we're there?_ Bellamy asked her now. Sitting behind her on the horse, he had wrapped his arms around her so he wouldn't fall as the animal did its best to get them closer to home.

Clarke had no idea. She didn't have to try and communicate it, just had to share that feeling with him and she felt his understanding. She was relieved that she didn't have to explain anything, the bond making it easier for her to just share even her crudest half formed thoughts and feelings if she wanted to.

_You know, maybe you should have ridden with them. We could have kept in touch over the bond—_

_No,_ she interrupted him, _I've been without you for weeks. I just got you back. There's nothing I could say or do that the others can't do for me…_

 _You've become such a delegator_. She could feel if not see his smile and huffed. Though maybe he was right. She wasn't quite sure how it had happened, but she wasn't that girl without a plan anymore. The terrified girl feeling forced into having to try out for a mind bond. The one that had bonded with an enemy and had been thrown into a war she had never considered her own.

And it hadn't been. This one however, this was hers. She was responsible, whether she wanted to or not, and while she felt for the Zoners, too, she knew she'd do everything within her power to stand up for Arkadia and the camp of displaced Silveren. Her people. Her responsibility.

 _And mine…_ Bellamy said, and it felt good to be sharing that with him too.

 _We can do this, right?_ she asked. _Stop this war? Or at least protect our people?_

_We can do this, princess._

* * *

…

Nyko was tired. He had been sitting with Roan for an hour after they had set up camp, discussing strategies, and for the umpteenth time, the man had asked him about Marcus Kane.

He wasn't quite sure when it had started, whether only after this conversation or much earlier, but he had begun to question this whole enterprise.

His plan to arm the Neutral Zone, even, a plan he had followed for so long that it was part of his fabric. When he had lost his son in the war, three years ago, that's when he had met Kane and they had made their plan. It had sounded like a good idea, to keep both Golden and Silveren in check, remind them that there were other powerful people. He had worked so hard for it. Their endeavors. Their smuggling business. He had even worked for the Silveren Captain to disguise what he was really up to.

But now… now they were so close to finally reaching their goal and… it didn't feel right. So many people had died so uselessly already. He knew it wasn't really anyone's fault. The Black Ruins had always been a dangerous place. There were rumors, legends he remember hearing from his forester grandma, and it should have tipped him off to the danger, should have kept him away. But he hadn't listened and now it was too late.

They were maybe two days out from reaching the Golden lands and the Silveren refugee camp, and with how many men and women Roan had brought, they'd easily overrun the city, or at least besiege it.

If only there was still a way out of it…

Closing his eyes, Nyko squared his shoulders and made his way over to his tent, grimacing when he saw Echo already waiting there for him, her newest pet project in tow.

He wished he had never suggested reactivating the refugee Eternals. Now he would have to deal with the seeds he had sown. Taking a deep breath, he walked toward the two women.

"Echo."

"Nyko... Roan sent me over to show you our progress. I think we may have managed to make a semi functioning weapon out of the bits of metal you could salvage…"

Great, he thought, rolling his eyes, although part of him was admittedly intrigued. Their first Eternal Weapon. The first Eternal soldier allied to the Neutral Zone.

Maybe this was a start after all...

* * *

...

The last one was dead. With a shuddering breath, Raven pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the trash, then kicked the can for good measure.

She wasn't cut out for this. For being a doctor or medic or healer or whatever they wanted to call it. She was a soldier, a scientist at heart, but not someone that was good at patching people up. Or dealing with their pain and heartache. Case in point being that her former boyfriend had been a bit of a mental wreck and she hadn't been able to help him.

"It's not the trash can's fault."

She made a face.

John wasn't grinning, even he knew the situation called for something else, but she could see a flicker in his eyes telling her that he was a bit amused at her small outbreak. She couldn't even really blame him, either. Kicking trash cans wasn't exactly very mature behavior.

"I'm just… I couldn't do anything for them. I don't know why I even tried. They're all dead, John."

He had walked over to her, softly kissing her neck. "You made their last days bearable. That's not nothing."

"It's not enough."

"I'm not arguing." He gave her a look, putting his hands on her shoulders. "But this is not on you. If anything, Kane and Blake screwed this up."

Pushing him off, she glared at him, suddenly on the defense. "They tried to prevent a disaster. They've been working super hard to free the world of Eternal metal. You think that's a screw up?"

"That's not how I meant it."

She crossed her arms. "What _did_ you mean?"

"Forget it."

"No, John. I wanna hear." She wasn't going to just let it go. She had developed feelings for this idiot and she needed to know whether she should better back away before it was too late.

"I know what they've been doing is a good thing. Hell, without him and the princess, and dear old Sleaze-Kane I would still be running around with Emori in my brain - or maybe I'd have killed myself at this point, but…" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "The Black Ruins are… widely unknown territory. All we knew was that there was a large city once, in the Before. Maybe it was the biggest one. Maybe we should have made sure first whether the mining site wasn't… I don't know… bigger than assumed or something. That's all I'm saying, really…"

She wanted so bad to still be angry, to lash out at him, because it felt so damn good and liberating to get that pent up negative energy out. But he had a point. With a sigh, she deflated. Wiping at her eyes.

"I'm sorry if I upset you more," John said, coming closer again and this time, she didn't push him away. "And I'm sorry they all died. I know you did your best…"

"Tell that to Commander Jaha." She scoffed, frowning as she saw John's expression change.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered, and she turned around to see the man's grave looking face, and behind him, Nate.

"You're back," she hissed, focusing on Nate rather than on the commander, and she quickly moved toward where he stood, panting and looking like he had just completed a race.

"Indeed he is," Jaha answered for her former comrade, and his voice sounded just as grave. "We have news from Clarke and Bellamy."

"She found him?" Raven's eyes widened with excitement, but Jaha went on as if she hadn't said anything.

"The Zoners are on the move. And they've almost reached our lands. We need to prepare for war."

"Shit. Are you serious?" John beside her rolled his eyes, sounding much more casual than she felt… War. Her heart sank into her stomach. Not again…


	22. Infect

…

There was a bright light everywhere, all encompassing. Then Finn realized that he hadn't even opened his eyes yet, so he did, lifting an arm to shield himself from the glare.

"Finn!"

His vision adjusted and soon he could make out Octavia, and he frowned at her relieved looking face. Turning his head, he felt her hand cup his cheek, then gently press on his chest, as if making sure he wouldn't try to get up. Which was kind of funny, considering that he felt like he had been chewed and spat out and would probably only keel over if he so much as tried to stand.

He made a face, annoyed with himself. Swallowing, he felt that familiar dry feeling in his throat and was surprised when Octavia offered him a strange looking cup. But he didn't really care where she might have found it or why it looked like it had been made from metal, he just greedily drank from it, not caring that the contents ran down his cheek a little to his neck. He drank it up as if it was the clearest water even though it tasted disgusting.

"Geez, this is bad," he rasped, making her chuckle, then he tried to sit up after all, but she wouldn't let him.

Shaking her head, she spoke with an unusually soft voice. "Don't. You need rest. Remember what happened?"

He shook his head when his mind came up blank. He had gotten her into one of the buildings, and he really hadn't felt very good anymore. He remembered that part. But aside from that? Just agony.

"You had some kind of seizure. The sheen… has spread considerably…"

His hand moved to his collar, but she gently took it in hers when he touched something foreign feeling.

Her chest rose as she inhaled deeply, as if to steel herself, and his frown deepened. What was she not telling him.

"That bad, huh?"

"Actually… it was. But. Don't panic, okay? I met some people here, and they helped contain it. They applied some kind of poultice on your shoulder and arm to treat you, and… it seems to be doing something, right? At least you woke up finally. - They patched up my leg too. It's finally getting a bit better…"

Too much information at once. He struggled piecing it all together. He was still alive, obviously. Someone had treated Octavia and him. She had met people? Here?

"In this building?" he asked, confused, and even though he was a bit slow, she wasn't and nodded quickly, smiling.

"They're… something else. You should see them. They're out hunting now. Apparently they do that when it's brightest outside so they won't be seen so easily."

"What?" That didn't even make sense. He ran a hand over his eyes, closing them briefly to focus inward, to process.

"Yeah, they're… Finn, these people's skin glows just like your scar, your shoulder. But they don't seem to be in pain or anything. This is normal for them…"

The pull of sleep was growing with every second he was awake, everything seemed a bit much, and yet he wasn't going to just let unconsciousness drag him away again. People with glowing skin. Octavia seemed to have been with them for quite a while. And also, his pain had lessened considerably.

"How long was I out?"

He watched as she gnawed on her lip a little, her eyes flitting over him and across the room until he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"How long?"

"A week?"

His eyes widened. What the hell? Now he pushed himself up into a sitting position anyways, despite her feeble attempt at stopping him and his body's raging protests. For a moment, the world swirled around him dangerously, then it stopped.

"You were really close to dying, Finn…" Her voice was barely intelligible, her whisper was so low. She wasn't looking at him anymore, either, but down, and he gently tapped her chin, making her look up again. There were tears in her eyes, tears that surprised him, confused him because they seemed to be directed at him.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, and for the first time in a very long time he noticed that he had finally stepped out of his own head, had even left behind his strong bond to Raven in a way and was able to focus on someone else. On her.

He didn't want this girl before him to be upset, least of all because of him.

"You're sorry?" She chuckled. "You know you single handedly saved me, right? Under complete disregard of your own health if I might add. I think I should apologize. To be honest I never thought you had it in you…"

"Not sure how I'm supposed to take that…" He grinned a little awkwardly, suddenly acutely aware that her hand was still resting on his chest, her fingers fanning out over his heart.

"As a compliment," she muttered, not quite looking at him, but at her hand before she moved to pull it away. But he grabbed her wrist and held it there, their gazes meeting. He wasn't quite sure what he saw in her bright clear eyes. A sorrow, hope too, and something else. Something not quite feasible.

They let the moment pass without acknowledging it, him lowering his head, Octavia averting hers, until she looked up again with a half smile and said, "I should probably catch you up on everything before they come back…"

Right, he thought. Those strange people she had mentioned, the ones that had supposedly saved his life. The ones that lived here…

* * *

…

* * *

…

[ **Three** **years** **ago** ]

…

Marcus had been sitting at his favorite joint for over two hours, when a dark clad man entered the bar, hailing over to Sinclair and ordering some of his strongest.

Later, he would never quite know why his interest had been piqued, but back then, he slowly sidled over to the man's chosen table and jerked his head by way of greeting.

"Mind if I join you?"

The man raised an eyebrow at him, then shrugged, waving a hand to one of the free chairs.

"Kane," he introduced himself upon sitting down, offering a hand that the man took with a wary expression.

"Nyko."

Kane squinted at the man's gruff accent. There was some forester in there, and something else. "You're not a regular here, are you?"

"More so than I'd like to admit."

Kane chuckled, then sipped his wine, leaning forward a little. "Yeah," he agreed, "The city's not the nicest to people like you and me." Why he was so open, he had no clue. It was almost like he wanted to gauge where the man was coming from. What brought him here.

"People like you and me?" Nyko raised an eyebrow, just as Sinclair walked by with his drink.

"Leave our guest alone, Kane," he said, patting Marcus's shoulder, then looking at Nyko. "Let me know if he bothers you. He's a friendly enough bastard, but he has a tendency to get on people's nerves…"

Nyko scoffed. "I can see why," he said, but with a smirk. "Thanks, but we're good here."

Sinclair saluted him, then turned to get back behind the bar. "If that changes, holler."

Then he was off, and Kane felt Nyko's eyes on him again. "You were saying?"

Kane sighed. "You're not a pure Golden, I can see that from a mile away. And this city has a tendency to treat people like us," he implied his own mixed heritage rather than openly admitting to it, "like garbage sometimes. - Let me guess, going by your attire you've traveled here. If I were to wager a guess, the foresters probably also didn't let you stay, since you do have some Golden in you. So I'd go with the Neutral Zone?"

"You'd be right." Nyko nodded appreciatively, and Kane was pleased. He had read the man correctly. He had lived his entire life feeling like an outcast in his own homecity, only tolerated because of his inherited and earned wealth, so he was generally attracted by other people like him.

Nyko seemed to feel similar, and over the next hour, the two men talked about a lot of things, everything boiling down to what was wrong with the world and how different things might be if the Golden - and even their awful enemies the Silveren - weren't the only ones so privileged, the only ones in power.

And they began spinning a story of how they could change that, how easy it should be to steal metal from the Silveren - that dangerous Eternal stuff - and smuggle it through their territories, through Golden lands as well, and arm the Neutral Zone in secret. A plan that would maybe take a few years, but once it was finished, they could make themselves known and force an end of the ongoing war, force both factions to accept the other people, the mixed ones, the deformed, the tired of war back into their midst. And live in peace.

It all sounded so nice.

…

And then they actually started doing just that, and Kane felt better than he had in a long time.

Until one day, quite by accident he found a potential cure for getting rid of the Eternal metal that he thought would be suited even better for dealing with their problem. But Nyko didn't agree. He seemed to change then, growing more restless, more angered.

And then he was gone… and Marcus found someone else willing to listen to his plan: Bellamy Blake. Son of the Silveren Captain.

* * *

…

* * *

…

~ **Now** ~

…

They hadn't even reached the city walls yet when Bellamy pointed out a lot of movement in the large camp nestled right in front of Arkadia. Clarke followed his outstretched arm with her gaze and nodded to herself.

She was relieved to see that someone had begun to take matters into their hands instead of waiting for them to get back first. Something was already being done and they probably had Jaha to thank for that. Clarke had told Nate and Monty to find him specifically and not bother with any of the other people in command because of that. Because Jaha was a man of action as much as words, and it seemed to have been the right decision.

When they rode into the camp, people looked up to them, some of them stopping. They were packing up. A large strait was leading back toward the main gates, and it was quite obvious that Commander Jaha had persuaded command to allow the refugees into the city, something Clarke had secretly worried about.

"Hey, princess!" an all too familiar voice called out and she rolled her eyes.

"Murphy…"

"Good to see you, too." Clearly unperturbed by her slightly hostile tone, he grabbed their horse by the bridle and offered her a hand to get off. But Bellamy was faster, shooting the other man a glare before hopping off. "She can get down herself, Murphy."

Raising both hands appeasingly, John backed off a bit, eyeing them both, then Kane and Abby who had appeared close behind them.

"What are you doing out here, John?" Abby asked, and he seemed happy to turn his attention to her. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stood, smirking in a way Clarke thought was rather inappropriate.

"Helping these guys move, of course. Kane… hope you don't mind, but we opened your house to the public. Well, part of it…"

A brief scowl appeared on Marcus's face, but then it turned into an almost too bright beam as he caught himself, probably remembering the dire situation. "Of course," he said, patting Murphy on the back as he walked into the camp.

"Please don't tell me you are overseeing the move?" Bellamy glared at Murphy with a hint of the old hatred, and Clarke thought it best to step a little closer to him, her side nudging his.

_Leave it. He's not our concern. I'm surprised he's even still alive after the severed bond with Emori..._

_Still as sleazy as ever, though. I just don't trust him. Especially now that he got all he wanted out of this alliance._

_Bellamy…_

He shot her a brief glance, then lowered his head with a sigh. _Yeah, okay fine. I'll be civil._

_All I'm asking for._

Outside her mind, the conversation was continuing. John had shaken his head and offhandedly pointed somewhere behind him, saying something to Kane when a loud voice hollered for him.

"The hell is taking you so long, John? People are waiting over here!"

He sniffed, then grinned a little awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "That's who you're looking for," he said, then turned around with a last wave, calling back, "Ya ya, on my way, Reyes!"

Only then did they see Raven emerge from the midst of a bunch of people carrying tent rods and tarps, some of them guiding livestock away. Her ponytail was frayed and coming undone in places, her heavy boots caked in dirt, smudges on her face too. But when Clarke saw John pass her by to do as he was told, she stumbled over the fact that he lightly rubbed his sleeve over some of the smudges, Raven smiling at him briefly before he went on and her gaze fell on the newcomers.

With a sobering expression, the girl broke into a jog and soon arrived by their side.

 _Did you see that?_ Clarke shot Bellamy a covert glance, and his startled look was answer enough.

_Raven and that douchebag? Seriously?_

She wanted to chuckle at his dumbstruck expression, but forced herself to focus on Raven first, and their task at hand.

The girl fell into Bellamy's arms, then hugged both Clarke and Abby, reserving a tight smile and a handshake for Kane, but then she seemed to think twice about it and hugged him too, making the man smile a rather surprised if pleased smile.

"Gosh, I'm so glad you're back! There's so much to do. Kane, not sure anyone told you yet but the lower half of your mansion - your home," she corrected herself with a sheepish expression, "has sorta been, uh, rented out to some of the refugees."

"I heard. John was kind enough to inform me…" He tapped his head as if in salute and Raven nodded, already elsewhere in her thoughts.

"So the Zoners are on their way? How much longer? - We're still nowhere near ready packing up. Though the city walls have been fortified and we made sure we'll be ready for a potential siege. Jaha sent for help from the neighboring towns too, but there's no saying when that will get here. Arkadia is pretty isolated out here…"

"Right." Clarke nodded, gazing past Raven for a second, watching the overall commotion. She spotted Titus in the thick of it, that obnoxious man now seemingly literally getting himself dirty to help. Maybe it hadn't been such a bad decision after all, leaving him in charge of the camp.

When he looked up, their gazes meeting, she nodded to him, a small gesture he reciprocated before he continued his work, and she returned her attention to Raven.

"Where's Jaha?"

"Inside." Raven nodded toward the gates, and Clarke nodded just as Bellamy said, "Zoners should be here in half a day maybe. Not much longer. You think we can manage clearing this field before then?"

Raven scoffed. "We better. I mean… yeah. Let me go back and make sure everyone knows the time frame."

Bellamy nodded. "I'll be there to help you in a bit. We want to talk to Jaha first, but then…" He trailed off and Raven nodded.

"Yeah, okay. I'll better…" She pointed, turning around, but then froze on the spot, clearly not quite ready yet. When she looked over her shoulder at Bellamy and Clarke, there was a sudden darkness in her features. "Any trace of your sister, or… Finn?" she asked with a small voice, and when Bellamy shook his head, unable to speak, Clarke stepped forward a bit, putting a hand on the other girl's arm.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but we haven't seen either of them. I don't think, at this point…"

Raven nodded quickly, stopping her from continuing, traces of tears in her eyes. Rubbing her nose, she put on a fake smile, then said. "Now I really need to go. See you guys in a bit!" And off she ran, back into the tumultuous midst of the camp.

Sighing, Clarke looked at Bellamy, making sure he was okay. They hadn't spoken much about Octavia yet, but she could tell not knowing her fate weighed heavy on him.

"We should find Thelonious," Abby said just then, nodding at her daughter, and Clarke agreed, grabbing Bellamy's hand.

"Let's go."

* * *

…

Roan was ready. He wanted the confrontation, if not necessarily a war. Lately, Nyko had begun to try and persuade him to change their plans, but Echo's success with the reactivated Eternal and the crude prototype of their first very own Eternal Weapon made him hopeful that things were about to tip in his favor even more than he had thought.

The Neutral Zone was tired of being considered nothing but a breeding ground for outcasts and deformed, a source for livestock at best, and dumping ground for the unwanted at worst.

Roan was tired of it. And while his mother was ready to take over the rule of the world, all he really wanted was to be left alone, to be taken seriously, too. Since nobody seemed to be able to do that without the force of arms, he was ready to use them now. After all, they had worked on this for a few long years. They had bided their time until now. Now that the day was finally here.

They had begun marching the last leg of their journey in the early hours of the morning, and surprise was on their side. After the disaster at the Black Ruins, they hadn't seen nor heard much from the Silver-Gold alliance, other than the few stragglers they had picked up, and the two captives they had regretfully lost so early on. He was still impressed with the girl. Such fierce and raw defiance could have been useful…

With a sigh, he raised his chin, facing the wind that had begun tearing at their clothes. It had picked up an hour or so ago, not the greatest sign, but hell if he couldn't use a nice little thunderstorm to underscore his entrance into enemy territory.

"Roan?"

Echo had jogged up from the front to catch up with him, marching alongside him now as he led the way. He knew she wasn't happy with him, with his decision to helm this war, but he was a man of principle and he wasn't going to let his people fight in a war that he wasn't willing to spearhead.

"What," he grumbled, not looking at her, and he could almost sense her bristling.

"I talked to Nyko. He thinks if we wait till nightfall, we could sneak into the camp and get to the healed Eternals without much fuss. That way we could easily persuade them to join us, and come morning, maybe they could already—"

His uncharacteristic laughter quite obviously caught her by surprise, and he couldn't blame her. He wasn't the kind of man that laughed so openly very often, certainly not when headed toward a potential war.

"You haven't dealt with many Eternals, have you?"

"I trained Diyoza. She—"

He cut her off with a motion of his hand. "—is _one_ Eternal. That doesn't give you much of an idea of what they're really like. What they're capable of. - I don't think you're able to read the woman as well as you think. She's dangerous, Echo. And she's not necessarily on our side yet. Which is why I told you to keep an eye on her at all times."

"Yes, my king."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not your king."

"I'm sorry…" She bowed her head, but he knew her demurity was half an act at least. Which he didn't mind. Echo was fierce too, if sometimes a bit of a loose cannon.

"Your idea isn't bad per se. I agree we need to get to the camp first. But we can't recruit these Eternals. We'll have to infect them. Then we will face the city.

Her head shot up, eyes gleaming with understanding. "Understood…"


	23. Risen

...

Indra had traveled for a long time when she finally found the Blazing. Crisscrossing the wasteland, she had looked for them, following only what she knew from the songs of her people. That after the black lay in ruins, the Blazing would come, returning to the world in the gleam of the sun, to raise up the fallen to save them all.

Wiping her forehead, gritting her teeth, she marched on when she spotted the gleam. Like the sun had dove down to rest on the earth's surface for a moment, in the form of men and women. As she approached, they became aware of her, chattering a little among themselves, then growing quiet, as if turning their conversations inward.

"I'm a friend!" she called out, raising both arms up high, baring her hands so they could see she wasn't holding a weapon. With a grim expression she marched onward, part of her even now unable to believe that it was true. That they existed.

Her forefathers had been right all along.

"I'm Indra of the Forest people," she said, bowing down just a few feet away from where they stood, gazing at her, their long shimmering limbs hanging down, their bald heads tilted to the side.

"Frien," one of them repeated, a woman perhaps, Indra couldn't be sure. She was starved and thirsty, her pack resting heavy on her back. There was one more bandage stuffed inside, a small rest of water and bread, and a weapon. For he would need a weapon.

"Please. I believe my friends are here with you. I believe you saved them. And I believe you'll help us save the world from another war."

The tall woman that had spoken before took a few steps forward until she stood almost right in front of Indra, cocking her head from one side to the other.

"War?"

Indra nodded.

* * *

…

Thelonious Jaha was busy talking to one of the army generals, when Clarke finally spotted him. And someone else.

Wallace.

Her breath hitched as she saw the man that had been ready to sacrifice her, or at the very least Bellamy for what he had seen as the greater good. He had been behind the plan to make her feel like she had escaped only to find out that way what the Silveren's secrets were. Wells had died because of it, and yet the man was still free and Wells's father was now talking to him.

"Commander." She approached him, guarded and holding Bellamy's hand a little too tightly, but he didn't complain.

Jaha stepped to the side, holding out a hand for her to wait while he finished talking to the General. It didn't take long, maybe a minute, then the man left, but not without a scrutinizing sideways glance at her and Bellamy.

"Clarke," Jaha said, an earnest expression on his face. "Nate told me what you saw. That there's hundreds of them, maybe more, coming from the canyon?"

She nodded, stepping a little closer now that Wallace had left.

Jaha seemed to contemplate that, then he said, "The General is getting his troops ready. Our city walls are built to last. The Zoners don't have the tech to destroy them easily. But we'll station reinforcements everywhere, especially by the gates. - What we really need to worry about, however, is a potential siege situation."

"You think the Zoners will cut off our supply lines and try to wait until we're starving," Clarke concluded, and Jaha confirmed it.

"It's a likely scenario. Their only real chance to get to us. Thanks to you, by the way." He shot her a pointed glance, making her frown. She wasn't entirely sure what he meant. "If you hadn't spotted them coming here, and hadn't sent Nate back with the others to warn us, the camp could have become a liability. The Zoners could have overrun it and taken hostages and we would have had to negotiate for the lives of these innocent people with the added problem of most of them being Silveren…"

He didn't say any more, maybe because Bellamy was there, too, but Clarke knew exactly what he meant, and so did Bellamy. On top of the conflict with the Zoners that would have definitely turned into a war that way, they would have potentially faced a new war with the Silveren, if they had given up on the camp. They had at least dodged that bullet for now.

"Do you think we'll be able to accommodate all of them in the city for however long this will take?"

"I don't know, Clarke. I don't know. But we'll have to try."

"What about provisions? Food? Water?"

"We do have the spring providing us with water. The Zoners won't be able to tamper with it, since it comes directly from the mountains. Food… is a little more difficult, but we're working on it. We've also sent Bonded out to ask the nearest towns for help and to keep communication going with the outside world. That'll be invaluable."

He gave her a strange look that she had to read as subtle criticism of what she had been trying to work on with her mom and Raven. But while he had a point, she still stood by it. Maybe it was time to work on other, better means of long distance communication… But now was not the time to argue about that.

"Alright," she bridged, "How long do you think until all the campers are within city limits?"

"At this rate? An hour perhaps. - Titus and I agreed that we'd leave the outer tents standing to create an illusion of the camp being intact and us unsuspecting. It won't do much, but it'll maybe give us a few extra minutes and the Zoners a first blow to their morale when they find out that their attack won't come as a surprise."

It sounded like a good enough idea. Still, Clarke was growing anxious. A kick from her baby alerted her to other things she needed to consider, to her very own situation, and yet again she realized she wouldn't be able to lead any counterattacks.

 _You hate being sidelined, don't you?_ Bellamy nudged her, and she made a face in return.

_I don't like not being able to do anything._

_You've come a long way from the little Golden I met almost two years ago…_

A reluctant smile appeared on her face, as she worked on not tipping the commander off to her other conversation. To Jaha, she then said, "Okay. - We'll go check on how the campers are adjusting to their new placements. Meet you again in thirty?"

The man nodded, then they all parted ways rather unceremoniously.

 _It's going to be okay, princess,_ Bellamy told her, one hand grazing her stomach for just a moment, and she allowed herself to lean in to him, taking a deep breath.

_I hope you're right…_

* * *

…

Octavia gritted her teeth as she carefully bent her knee without much success. She tried it again, and again, to no avail. The limb was stiff and felt foreign, if at least not as painful anymore, thanks to whatever magic her new friends had used to heal her.

Now she kept practicing, watching Finn as he slept just a bit away from her.

She hated to admit it, but he had grown on her a lot. Too much. When he hadn't woken up from his unconsciousness, despite all the tricks of these strange people whose home they had accidentally invaded, she had panicked. She wasn't even quite sure why. This was just Finn Collins, a too soft kid that had broken under the strain of being an Eternal.

Yet here he was. And he had saved her, had carried her halfway across the wasteland and had brought her here because she had insisted it was a good idea.

Today, he had finally woken up again, and all of it finally seemed worth it. He was still alive. The sheen hadn't consumed him. But it also hadn't subsided, was still there, marring his arm and shoulder, meeting somewhere along his clavicles like a silvery band.

Limping over now to check on him, she hissed when her leg protested. She knew she was overdoing it, Dell had told her as much - as far as Octavia could understand, but she wanted to be ready to use it again when the time came. She wanted to go back out there and search for Bell.

With a heavy slump she flopped down next to Finn, who looked uneasy in his sleep, as if he was fighting off nightmares. Or pain. Extending an arm, she moved to gently shake him awake, but then his features softened, and her hand lingered above him, a sudden pull making her move to touch what lay hidden under the dressings for the poultice. At the edges, she could see a bit of the sheen poking through. Just a little bit, but enough for her to be strangely mesmerized. She had seen Eternal wounds and scars before, of course, yet she had never touched one before Finn.

Swallowing, she let her finger trace the thin line, briefly looking to his face to see whether he would stir, but he didn't. She didn't want to hurt him. She just… A lump formed in her throat, all the horrors of the last weeks crashing down on her suddenly as a string of images and emotions rushed back into her mind, threatening to drown her.

Lincoln, Bell, the explosion. Aurora - her mother. All the dead… Then Roan, Nyko. That awful woman, Echo. And always, Finn. He had been the constant, had been there through all of it. At the periphery at first, but not anymore. Slowly, he had edged in from there, and now… he was beginning to find his way into her stupid stupid heart.

No, not beginning. He was already there.

Stifling a sob, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, then lowered herself to the ground until she lay right next to him. Turning slowly around until she laid on her side, she snuggled up a little closer, finally allowing herself to grieve for those lost, clinging to this sleeping man beside her like a lifeline, barely aware that he woke up to gently pull her closer, just holding her until the sobs subsided. Until she could think again.

And still, he was there.

* * *

…

When he woke up and she was there, lying so close to him, he was surprised to find that it felt natural. Like he had always had this kind of close relationship with her. Even her sobbing against him didn't make him feel awkward. Just concerned for her. He didn't have any words, no "it's going to be okay" or "pull yourself together." He just let her get it out of her system, offering what comfort he had.

Eventually, she wiped over her eyes again, the sobs ebbing away. "I'm sorry," she muttered, not looking at him, and still he didn't say anything. Although she really had no reason to apologize. He just tightened his grip on her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, making her look up at him.

There was something about this moment that changed everything, but neither of them was ready to acknowledge it. Not yet. So he was almost relieved when Octavia suddenly asked, "How's the arm and shoulder?"

"Okay… a lot better, I guess. What about you? How's the leg?"

He noticed her pause, growing worried. Turning around a bit to be able to face her better, he frowned at her. "Octavia?"

She sighed. "I know I shouldn't even complain. Not with all those that have lost their lives. Not to you, with what happened to you—"

"O…" He shook his head, but she continued over him.

"It's just… it's not even all that bad anymore. What they did, our new 'friends', it made it a lot better. Even gave me a bit of my own sheen." She chuckled softly but without much humor. This piece of information was completely new to him, and he raised himself up a little, one hand wandering down to her leg.

"You have the sheen?"

"Not like you. Not like an Eternal scar. More like a shadow of it, but yeah. I guess it's because of whatever they use in their medicine. I don't know…"

"But no pain?"

She shook her head. "No pain. Not when I keep it still, that is… but… I can't really bend it or… use it properly. It's stiff and…" She sighed, not continuing, and he knew why. She was a warrior at heart, had been trained by Indra after all, had flourished out there in the open, seeking out the next fight. But a warrior with a bum leg…

He sat up slowly, running a hand over his head. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah…" She made a face for just a moment, before she sat up, too, smiling at him. "I guess we're both not quite what we used to be."

Wagging an eyebrow, he chuckled, before something else caught his attention, and then hers. The shiny building dwellers were back from their latest food gathering run, and they were not alone.

Octavia gasped. "Indra?" Stumbling to her feet, she hobbled over to the woman as fast as she possibly could, letting herself fall into the warrior's arms. "You're alive," Indra said, way more emotional than was usual for her, and suddenly Finn felt like an outsider looking in, a bit uncomfortable, until the forester woman looked over Octavia's shoulder straight at him, smiling a genuine smile.

"I knew why I sent you on this mission," she told him with a wink of her eye, confusing him to the point of goosebumps creeping up his limbs. "You brought her back to me. And now I'm here to guide you home, risen-again."

Risen again?


	24. Preparing

...

Kane coughed into his arm, rolling his eyes at the untidiness in his home. It smelled a little rancid from way too many bodies, way too many things, and he grimaced at the prospect of spending the next however many days or weeks with that many inhabitants in his four walls.

Shaking his head, he continued making his rounds, trying to put on a brave face, smiling at the poor twice-displaced people as best as he could, picking up a few pieces of garbage here and there.

"You're doing alright, Kane."

He looked up to see Bellamy standing in the doorway to his kitchen, arms crossed casually in front of him, a wide smile on his face.

His grin grew a little lopsided as he admitted, "I'm trying." He walked over to the kid to pat him lightly on the shoulder. "And you? How's the back?"

Bellamy's smile wavered a bit as he shrugged. "It's fine."

Marcus raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Uh hunh…"

Scoffing softly, he took the hint. The kid looked tired and exhausted overall, the last weeks, months still catching up with him. It was a miracle he was even standing right now, but he quite clearly didn't want to talk about it.

There was no time for rest, not yet, and they both knew it.

"So, everyone accounted for?" he therefore changed the topic, continuing when Bellamy nodded. "Good. I need to get on down to the lab now, Raven told me they had a bit of a… uh… situation here lately and we ran out of the cure. If we want to treat your arm, I better get on—"

The kid shaking his head made Marcus falter, then stop. "No? You don't want me to…"

Bellamy scoffed. "Not sure I wanna go through it again."

Frowning, he tried to comprehend. "I know the process wasn't exactly pleasant, but isn't it better than having to wear a bandage all the time?"

"Marcus…" Bellamy sighed, sounding too weary for such a young man. He also had called Marcus by his first name for the first time… Gripping the kid's shoulder, he gave him a long look.

"You're tired, son. I get it. Maybe we'll speak about this again after all this is over." With that, he smiled at him again, then walked down the hallway with a wave of his hand. "Abby's probably already waiting for me. You know those Griffin women. They're not exactly patient…"

He chuckled. Then he was off.

* * *

…

Bellamy watched Kane go for another few seconds before the man turned a corner and vanished from view. Then he pushed himself off the wall and went on his way, too. He wanted to check on Raven real quick, making sure she was okay. They hadn't seen each other for a while after all, and the short episode with Murphy earlier had made him realize that a lot of things had probably happened back here, too.

The world had kept on turning.

"Hey stranger," Clarke said, grabbing his arm where she had appeared by his side, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Where did you just come from?" He hadn't even felt her in his mind.

With a smirk, she nudged him lightly, looking almost too happy under the circumstances. "I had mom check on the baby. You know, it's been a while. We didn't exactly get a chance out there, and…" She trailed off, looking at him, then down.

He stopped in his tracks, cupping her chin, making her look at him again. There was a smile playing across her features that made him smile in turn.

"How's the little pea?"

"Certainly not a pea anymore, going by this pumpkin belly."

"Pumpkin belly, huh? Quite a cute pumpkin…"

Clarke rolled her eyes, grinning at him as she lightly slapped his arm. Part of Bellamy was surprised they could banter so easily again after all the latest setbacks, but maybe that was exactly what they needed. He wanted to stay in the moment, but knew it couldn't last, not yet.

They had places to be, had to stay alert and on the lookout, and he knew that Clarke was scheduled to meet with Commander Jaha again, going over strategies to keep everyone safe and as content as possible while preparing for the arrival of the Zoners.

"Any moment now," Clarke said, and maybe she had read his mind, he wasn't quite sure, their bond still a little less pronounced these days.

"The Zoners?"

She nodded, squeezing his hand. "It'll be okay, right? We'll deal with this too."

"Ya." He sighed, kissing her gently, tugging at her lip a little too longingly before pulling away with a tired smile. "I'll meet you out there in a bit. Just gotta check on Raven real quick, and talk to Titus."

"Good." Clarke dug two fingers into the corners of her eyes, sighing. "I think he really needs you to acknowledge his work or something. He's done a good job, of course, but now he's all grumpy and waiting for a bit of recognition."

Bellamy gave a wry smile. "Yeah, I'll make sure to address that." He sighed. "Alright princess, watch that pumpkin for us and I'll see you later."

With another kiss for good measure, he let her go and moved toward where he suspected Raven was still trying to accommodate more of their fellow Silveren.

Sure enough, she was in the middle of allotting a bunch of them makeshift beds that had been placed in the adjacent shed next to the main house, a place where Kane kept his carriages and other things related to what he had come to refer as his day job: the metal trade.

"Not over there, you idiot," she was just reprimanding John Murphy, and Bellamy was just about to think that maybe he had imagined the strange moment between his best friend and his former tormentor, when the man abruptly leaned forward and kissed her. "Love it when you're all bossy, Reyes," he said with a chuckle, making Bellamy roll his eyes and Raven laugh a genuine lighthearted laugh. "You're an idiot, John."

"But you love me, admit it."

"But I love you. And now go, we need to get this done before the Zoners get here." She rolled her eyes at him, then shooed him away, going about her business with a shake of her head.

Bellamy stood waiting, watching her for a moment. She hadn't spotted him yet, and had acted completely freely around Murphy, and the strangest part was that Bellamy was actually happy for her. In all this mess, his friend had found some happiness. He hadn't seen her like this in a damn long time. So it was with Murphy, but even that didn't really mean too much anymore. The kid had been an asshole before, but he seemed to have changed. Bellamy didn't need to be friends with him to accept that he was making Raven happy. Maybe even happier than she had ever been with Finn.

Finn, who was most likely dead. Just like O.

Curling his hands into fists, he forced himself to shake off those thoughts and walk over to Raven, calling out to her from halfway there.

When she heard her name, she looked up, scanning the room and smiling at him as soon as she had spotted him.

"Bellamy!" Quickly, she nodded to the woman she had been talking to, saying something before parting ways and meeting him. Holding a bunch of blankets, she beamed at him. "You here to help me?"

"Sure. I got twenty before I have to meet Clarke and Jaha at the gates."

She nodded, in thought. "You think they're gonna attack?"

"No idea. I hope not, but…" He cleared his throat, feeling awkward. Looking down he said, "With the way our mission screwed everything up - _I_ screwed everything up… I'm not sure they'll want to just talk. We all lost so many people because of it."

He rubbed his neck with one hand, feeling a slight searing reminder of the old pain as he got to the edges of the large burn still marring his back. When he looked up with a soft hiss, he saw Raven's brows knit together with concern.

"You know this wasn't your fault, right? It's not like you planned this explosion to be all over the place. Kand told me he suspects there must have been large veins of Eternal metal embedded everywhere in the ground, much larger than the Captain's mine."

He gnawed on the inside of his lip, not sure what to say to that. He had heard that theory of course, it was Kane's newest pet project: the layout of the mining sites and how their locations could influence the amount of metal and how it had saturated the ground or not. Yet he still blamed himself.

O was gone. So many more.

"Aren't you angry with me? For what happened to Finn?"

"What happened to him, though, Bell? Do you know? Because _I_ don't. All I know is that he was out there of his own free will. It was not like anyone forced him. Heck, I even implored him not to go, and he didn't listen, or didn't care, or... I don't know, he probably had another bout of ill advised loyalty. I…" She paused, looking at him with a sad but determined expression. "I'm sad that he's gone, don't get me wrong. But I know he wouldn't want me or you or anyone to be heartbroken about it, or blame ourselves. You get that?"

Nodding, he lowered his head, not quite convinced, but he wasn't going to argue with her. Then she tapped his chin.

"Look at me, Bellamy Blake. It's not your fault. Okay?"

"Okay…"

"Say it like you mean it."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, but with a small smile. "You _are_ bossy, Reyes."

She flushed. "You saw us, didn't you?"

His smile only widened as he nodded. "It's fine," he told her.

"You sure? I know he's a jerk for most of the time. I know what he did to you, but… he's not the same guy anymore. He'll be at the gates later, helping to keep us all safe and—"

"It's okay, Raven," he said, interrupting her ramble with a half smirk. "I know people can change. If he's good to you and makes you happy, I'm all for it. Tell him to not mess this up, though, or I'll come back to hunt him down. - And I don't just mean his guard duty job," he added with a pointed stare, and Raven chuckled.

With a nod she said, "Deal." Then she gave him a sideways hug before pushing some of the blankets at him. "You got a moment?"

"I still have to talk to Titus…" He rolled his eyes and she chuckled again, slapping his chest lightly.

"Still not happy with your role as a leader, are you?" she asked, and he grimaced, making her laugh. "Come on, let's distribute these real quick, then you can go pat dear Titus on the back for having been a real team player.."

With a sigh, he followed her. "I was hoping you could talk to him, while I go deal with—"

"Hell no," she interrupted him, grinning. "This is all you, Bellamy." With that, she led the way and he grudgingly followed her.

Despite what he had just said, Titus was the least of his worries, however. The man had indeed done a decent job in his absence and hadn't even vied for his attention yet, or challenged Bellamy's and Clarke's leadership.

No, what worried him more was the Zoners' imminent arrival, what they'd do, how the gates would be holding up. How their people would handle the situation. How Clarke would be holding up. She was pregnant after all. Too many things to consider.

_I'll be fine. And I'll be right by your side._

It felt good to feel her, even better to know that she wasn't far and that he'd see her soon.

 _Love you too,_ she communicated, and he had to smile to himself.

_You always know what I need, princess._

He felt her love and amusement.

_See you in a bit?_

_See you in a bit._


	25. Special

…

Indra had brought news that made Octavia's and Finn's heads whirl. Roan was moving on the Golden capital, on the Silveren refugee camp before it. He had passed through the large ravine dividing part of the wasteland, had traveled through forests on his way, thus alerting the clans living there to his presence.

While they had stayed out of his business, as was usual for them, they had still noted the large amount of people and weapons with worry. Word had spread, had reached Indra, too. And for the first time, the foresters had started to feel like their own peace was in danger. If Roan brought war to the Neutral Zone, their own homes would be in danger, and they couldn't idly stand by and watch.

"You're saying you'll join the fight?" Octavia's eyes were widening as Indra nodded gravely, still holding her own sword at her side like she needed to jump into battle any second. Behind her, their quiet gleaming companions were watching them while preparing food in a small oven.

"I'm saying our clans won't allow Roan to destroy what is ours. He is selfish. Only sees his own gain, his own injustices. They way he tore through some of our dwelling places…" She shook her head, her features grim. "He has no regard for my people, just like he has no regard for yours."

Octavia exchanged a glance with a frowning Finn, who shrugged at her. Absently rubbing her leg, she looked back at the warrior. "What is your plan? - And what was that talk about the 'risen-again'?" She chuckled at bit at that weird turn, noticing out of the corner of her eye how Finn ran a hand over his neck as he lowered his head, staring hard at the ground, quite obviously uncomfortable with Indra's strange moniker for him.

The woman cleared her throat, squaring her shoulders. "Forester lore," she said. "There have been songs of a battle threatening to end all battles. For a long time people believed the songs were referencing the past, the Last War. But then your people and the Golden began to fight and it was clear that it hadn't been the last one after all, that maybe the battle to end all was still waiting to be happen." She paused, tilting her head a little as if to gauge Octavia's reaction. The story was not new to her, of course. She vaguely remembered having heard some of those songs. Puzzling, her brow creased as she put two and two together.

"You think these people are the Blazing?" She couldn't help but chuckle incredulously. That would mean she was now part of a song.

Indra glared at her stonily.

"This is not funny to me."

"I'm… I'm sorry," Octavia muttered, looking to Finn again briefly, who was now squinting at the forester before them. Indra stared at him, not once blinking, and this time, he held her gaze, making Octavia frown. It was as if something was going on between those two that she didn't follow.

"The risen… you think it's Finn?"

Indra slowly turned her head to look at her. "I _know_. And he'll be the one stopping this battle before it really begins."

"No pressure…" Finn mumbled to himself, making Octavia grin over at him, nudging his leg. He gave her a brief look, rolling his eyes, and she smirked wider.

Indra continued with a stern voice. "We'll need to leave now. Roan has almost reached Arkadia. And my people are on their way there."

Octavia's eyebrows knit together. "How did you orchestrate all this? I mean, how did you find us? How did you get your people ready? And…"

"I'm a warrior, girl. I have ways. And it was my mission to ensure the fallen would rise again and help us all."

Finn scoffed. "Yeah," he muttered, "not sure how I'm supposed to do that. Maybe you're looking for someone else."

"I'm looking for the one speared in the shoulder by a ray of sun, the one with a band of silver around his neck," she leaned forward abruptly, pulling down his shirt to tap the sheen around his collarbones with her index finger, making him back away so hard that Octavia held out her arms to make Indra back off. But the woman merely grinned at them, then sat back. "You'll show them that what Roan has to offer is nothing. That they're better off following you."

"No one is going to follow me."

Indra seemed to be losing her patience with him. Jumping up, she tugged at her pack and with a swift movement, pulled a large Weapon from it, making Octavia involuntarily back away. Finn hissed in a breath beside her.

"You thought you were done wearing one of these, didn't you?"

He swallowed visibly, but said nothing. Octavia looked from him back to Indra, clearing her throat.

"We don't even know whether it still works. His scar was reactivated, yeah, but maybe it's different now, maybe—"

"Try it on," Indra said, her tone bordering on an order. She was not looking at Octavia, but Finn, who shot her an annoyed glare.

"He's not going to do that." Octavia put her foot down, suddenly upset. Indra didn't seem to understand what it meant to wield an Eternal Weapon, what a big thing it was to ask anyone to wear it. "He's lucky he's still alive," she said, nostrils flaring. "The sheen could have easily killed him. If we hadn't found these… these people here—"

"He was never going to die."

Octavia scoffed. "You honestly believe that? That your… your lore speaks of him, and that he was never in danger? _You_ didn't see him, Indra! _You_ weren't there when he was writhing in pain, passing out from it and—"

"Octavia, stop." She looked over to Finn, who seemed to have grown even more uncomfortable. Shaking his head, he implored her to let it go, but she wasn't sure she could. She had been terrified. It had not just been a minor roadblock, his life had been on the line.

But before she could go on, Indra waved an arm in an appeasing manner. "I wasn't trying to diminish what he went through. What both of you went through. Octavia. I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't so important."

"Why is it so important?" Finn challenged, standing up, fidgeting slightly with his hands.

"You know why. You told me yourself how interested Roan was in the reactivation of Eternal scars. He'll try to convince your people to take back their powers of old. He'll start a war so deadly that no one can win it."

"So, pretty much like it used to be…"

"No!" Indra clicked her tongue, clearly growing angrier by the minute. "You really don't understand, do you? There won't be any winners. The collateral damage will be immense. Haven't you seen enough terror here? When this site exploded? Roan won't just stop at Arkadia. If he can convince the former Eternals to resume their powers, if he can outfit them all with weapons - there won't be a chance for the city. And then he'll go on to weaponize the remaining mining sites…"

Octavia shook her head, not convinced. "How would he know how to do that. The Black Ruins, that was an accident. Nobody knows what went wrong."

"It's different if you're actively trying to make something explode rather than deactivating the Eternal source first." Indra raised an eyebrow, underscoring her point.

Grudgingly Octavia nodded, seeing where she was coming from. Roan's people weren't going to use Kane's concoction, his cure…

"I still don't see why Finn wearing a weapon would change any of that."

Indra huffed, then grabbed Octavia's arm. "Because he'll be their reminder and their warning. - I'll explain it on the way. But now we have to leave," she said, and even though Octavia didn't know why she was doing it, she reluctantly followed her warrior friend, turning her head to exchange a glance with Finn, shrugging at him.

"You too, Risen," Indra called out, making him roll his eyes, but follow anyways.

What the hell were they getting themselves into?

* * *

…

Things were happening way too quickly. Suddenly, they were already out in the open, the shiny people Indra had called the Blazing had managed to procure some horses from who knew where, Octavia was going along with it all, and Finn… was freaking out.

Pulling her away from where she was following Indra's orders and strapping a bag to the horse that would be hers, he dragged her a few feet with him, not listening to her protests. Only when she yelped out in pain did he stop, but not to apologize.

"What the hell are we doing here?" he hissed, still holding her arm in a too tight grip.

"Let go," she said, glaring at him, anger burning red in her cheeks, flickering in her dark eyes. That was the Octavia he had seen and known before. Taking a deep breath, he did let go, glad when she didn't immediately run back to the horse. Looking at him, her anger dissipated a little, but his was still raging.

"Are we really not even going to talk about what these… gleaming people even are? Who? - We're just going to ride off with Indra now? Believing all the nonsense she was spewing? How sure is she even that Roan made it all the way back to the freaking city?"

"I don't think you realize how much time has passed since we saw him…"

Finn clenched his jaw, his hands curling into fists. She wasn't wrong. He had no concept of time anymore. Of anything. But she hadn't answered any of his questions… Swallowing, he cast his eyes down, digging the heel of his hand against the root of his nose where a headache was forming. The motion sent a lightning of pain through his shoulder, and he stifled a gasp. Octavia frowned at him with concern, her hand grazing his arm.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," he snapped, backing away. He couldn't deal with her compassion right now. He knew he was back behaving the way she had called a tantrum before. Way back when… He remembered how she had said it, not meant for his ears. Biting down hard, he tried to fight his way back to the top. "Seriously, though? She wants me to strap on the damn weapon and play the Eternal again? Alongside a horde of foresters and these Blazing people? And what the hell is that bullshit about the risen?" He rolled his eyes, noticing that a soft smile had appeared on Octavia's face, and that irked him too.

"It sounds kinda neat, though, doesn't it? Like you're something special."

"I'm not freaking special!" he said a little too harshly, and catching himself he added with less anger, "We both know that. I'm not… I'm not what she needs or is looking for. Maybe someone like your brother—"

"Who is most likely dead," Octavia said so drily that he cringed. But she wasn't done. "Pull yourself together, Finn," she continued with a weary expression, making him clench his teeth. "So what if you're not the risen? Who freaking cares. Give them some hope, be their freaking beacon and make them go into this battle proudly. If Indra is at all right and Roan is trying to turn our people against us, against the Golden, we'll need all the help we can get. Maybe bringing the Blazing will distract them enough to… I don't know, stop this stupid battle from even happening and prevent a war."

Finn ran his hands over his face, trying to control his breathing. Staring up into the darkening sky, he tried to think of something else to do, something better. But there wasn't anything. Octavia's leg wasn't healed yet, he wasn't either, but it didn't matter. They couldn't stay here forever anyways. So why not leave now, with company.

"Finn?" Suddenly she stood rather close to him, closer than before, and he could feel her breath on his face, soft and warm. Swallowing, he looked at her, feeling awkward and self-conscious.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, grimacing. "I guess I'm just caught off guard. I can't believe anyone in their right mind could think I was this 'risen'."

"I can see it."

Frowning, he scoffed. "See what?"

"How you could be the risen. You've proven how strong you can be, Finn. That you can overcome past struggles. Don't go back now."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

Leaning forward abruptly, she kissed him straight on the mouth, startling both him and herself. Averting her gaze she took a quick step back, then faced him again. "I believe in you, Finn, risen or not. Let's just go back home. We'll… We'll take the rest from there."

With that she limped off, leaving him standing there, more confused than before. Had Octavia Blake really just kissed him?

* * *

…

The troops arrived when the sun was already descending, the red-orange glow setting the sky on fire in a way Echo wanted to see as a sign.

There was the refugee camp, lying before the city gates, and it took her a while before she noticed that the place seemed a little too quiet. The evening had barely just begun and yet the camp lay in darkness, no torches, no people visible. Tapping Roan's shoulder, she leaned in to whisper in his ear. "It's too quiet. Could be a trap."

He frowned at her, a mound appearing between his eyebrows. "How?"

She shrugged. There was no easy answer for that. Maybe someone on the enemy's side had gotten wind of their plan and warned the camp and city. How, she had no idea. It didn't matter. They still had Diyoza, could still parade the woman around and get to the former Eternals that way.

She told Roan as much now, making him contemplate how best to go about it.

"Send out a small recon team to check on the camp. Then we'll see," he said, and Echo nodded, quickly moving off to get a few people together.

It didn't take them long to find out what was going on. The camp… was just a decoy. An outer wall of tents with nothing in its midst. Someone had warned these people. Gone were their chances to quickly infect the healed Eternals and turn them back into the supersoldiers they had once been. When she told Roan about her findings, he angrily paced back and force, glaring at her as if she had all the answers. "How did this happen? Who could have known?"

"I don't know," Echo honestly told him, just as Nyko stepped forward, looking as somber as ever in his long black cloak.

"Roan," the man spoke with a gravelly voice and their king who didn't like to be called a king turned to face him. "Let us wait till morning, when the sun is up and the people behind the city walls will be able to see what we have to offer them."

"What we have to offer them?" Echo snorted, but Roan's glare silenced her.

Nyko continued, unperturbed, focused only on Roan. "The Eternal. We show them that she has her powers back, that she has a weapon. And we promise them the same. If they help us get into the city."

"There's not enough of them to override the entire guard of Arkadia," Echo chimed in, and this time, Roan didn't silence her but looked at Nyko expectantly. The man sighed, looking as if he was talking to children.

"The camp was full of Eternals - and their families, as well as other people displaced by the collapsing Silveren structures. If we can get all of them - and with the promise of new power we can, then that should indeed be enough. Tell them all they need to do is open the gates and come out to us. That we don't mean harm for anyone." He cocked his head, scrutinizing Roan. "Because we don't need to mean harm at this point, do we?"

Roan made an offhand gesture, but didn't speak. Echo squinted at him from under her lashes, unsure of how to take it. What did her king plan? He was cunning, and ruthless, but not as aggressively ready to take over the world as his mother was, who had only been willing to stay behind because she was so sure her dear son was going to bring home a victory and an empire.

Eventually, Roan shook his head. "Not yet, no. Let us see how these people treat us first." Turning to leave, he addressed Echo. "Set up camp. Set it up right here where they can see us. Then we wait till morning."

Frowning, she nodded. A camp in view of the enemy sounded like a bad idea to her, but she wasn't going to argue. As her king walked out into the open, she followed him with a few feet distance. He didn't say anything, just stood there for a long time, staring up at the giant walls surrounding Arkadia.

* * *

…

"What the hell is he doing?" Bellamy asked, a wary frown on his face that Clarke could understand all too well. She was as anxious as he was, unsure of what this man down there was trying to achieve.

He was not Nyko, that much was sure.

"He's trying to intimidate us." Thelonious Jaha was looking through a pair of binoculars, passing them on when he was done. With them, there were General Wallace and one of his lieutenants, a nasty looking man called Vinson who looked like he would have been much less out of place in one of the prison camps in the mountains, far away from society.

Clarke didn't trust either of the military men, but she knew they needed their expertise, so she was willing to suck it up for now.

Kane, too, had joined them, and as he was peeking into the distance now, using Jaha's binoculars, he clicked his tongue in recognition.

"That's Roan. I should have known."

"Who is he?" Jaha's tone was stern, but Marcus grinned at him anyways.

"Suffice it to say he's a bit more of a challenge than Nyko would have been. He was brought up like a warrior, unlike Nyko, so I'd wager a guess and say he'll be harder to persuade that there doesn't have to be a fight. Or a war."

Clarke exchanged a glance with Bellamy, whose jaw muscles were doing their usual dance as he tried to keep in his building anger.

_You think he's going to attack._

_I don't know_ , he admitted, but she could tell that he was entertaining that idea.

 _The walls are pretty hard to get past,_ she reminded him, but there was an uneasiness in him that quickly spilled over to her. Pulling her coat closed around her, she left her hands across her stomach, thinking of her baby.

_I want you with Abby in the house when this is going down, Clarke._

She stifled a scoff, as she communicated her disdain about the idea. making Vinson shoot her a glance. After all this time she still hadn't quite learned how to keep her bond a secret and she hated to have drawn that man's attention. He cocked his head and sneered at her.

"Mind sharing whatever gems you two just talked about?"

Bellamy glared at him, ready to get in his face, but Clarke held him back. _Don't_ , she told him, _we don't need any fighting in here. Let's focus on the Zoners, okay? If we have to, we'll deal with Vinson afterward…_

Grudgingly, Bellamy let it go, while Clarke focused back on the men. Shooting the lieutenant a dismissive glance, she said, "We need to replace the guards every eight hours. To make sure they're well rested and alert. Someone will have to keep an eye on the Zoners all night, though if Kane is right, I'm assuming this Roan knows enough strategies to wait till dawn. There's no way he'd try to storm a heavily guarded city in the middle of the night when that city is highly aware of his presence."

"I agree." Jaha nodded, scratching his chin as he seemed to think things over. "The guard is on a roster already. Come dawn, I will send out a team to parlay."

"I want to be on it."

Jaha inclined his head, taking her in, then nodded. "But my men will take the lead in negotiations."

"Alright."

"No," Bellamy shot, his brows coming together in an angry half bow as he glared at Clarke. Raising her chin, she asserted her point, backed up by Jaha's agreement, but Bellamy wasn't having it.

"You're allowing a pregnant woman on a mission like that?" he said directed at the commander, who looked at him with an earnest expression.

"She made her choice. And she has experience negotiating between different groups, as you know best."

She could see and feel it work in him, a certain flustered upset that he didn't quite know how to channel, and it almost made her smile.

_I know what I'm doing. And me being pregnant doesn't change that. It's not like I'm purposely endangering myself or the baby. Or do you believe that?_

He clenched his teeth, rolling his eyes at her. _You know that's not what I meant…_

The heat was out of his words, only worry left. Out loud he said, "Fine. But I'll come too."

"The more the merrier!" Vinson's sleazy grin almost made Bellamy lash out again, but he caught himself when Clarke grabbed his wrist, shaking her head once.

_That asshole better not be part of the parlay…_

"Mind if I tag along too?" Marcus looked at the commander with an earnest expression, then at the others. "I know Nyko. If he's at all part of the Zoners' own parlay group, maybe I can reason with him and in turn, he can reason with their leader."

"Do you know Roan, too?" Jaha raised a questioning eyebrow at him and Kane shrugged.

"Not personally, no. Nyko mentioned him a few times. He's… a wildcard…"

Jaha nodded, then sighed. "Good. Be ready an hour before dawn."

With that, he saluted them and they all went on their way. Kane nudged Bellamy briefly on the way back, winking at Clarke at the same time.

"I know we can sway them," he whispered, sounding way more convinced than Clarke felt.

"I hope you're right. We need a success after the disaster at Ruins…" Bellamy looked at him wrily and the older man patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"It'll be fine, son. I know Nyko. This can't be what he wanted. If we can somehow get him to convince this Roan guy too…"

But he didn't continue, and Clarke didn't blame him. There was no knowing how things would go. And reinforcements were a long ways away…


	26. At the gates

…

Dawn came, and with it John Murphy found himself at the gates, fulfilling his guard duty. Sniffing, he rubbed his cold hands briefly, before readjusting the rifle he had been holding. Mornings had grown icy in the last few days. Summer had made room for fall without him noticing it much until now.

Why was it that every little skirmish as well as the bigger battles always had to take place when it was freaking uncomfortable outside? With a roll of his eyes, he clenched his teeth, making them gnash against each other in a way that made him break out in goosebumps even more.

"Fantastic," he muttered to himself, making one of the other guards, a guy named Monty who had only just gotten back from his trip with Clarke shoot him a curious glance. He met it with a glare and a "What?!", and the kid scoffed and turned away.

"Just making sure you haven't lost it," he then muttered, making John frown then grow annoyed.

"Because I was talking to myself? Yeah, of course you'd think that it can only mean that nasty John Murphy has gone crazy."

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Mind your own freaking business."

Monty turned to face him, his expression suddenly changed. A lot firmer. "Dude, I was just worried. We all know what happened with your bond, and there's people out there that are looking up to you because you took it upon yourself to go through with it first, okay? We're just… worried, is all. And grateful, I guess. No need to be an asshole about it."

Then he tightened his grip on his own rifle, peeking through the gates from behind a metal beam.

John didn't know what to say. A bit flustered, he stood there for a moment, staring at the other man. He could almost hear what Raven would tell him. How she would nudge his side and roll her eyes at him and say, "go apologize, you idiot."

So he did.

With a quick, "Hey! I'm sorry," he got Monty's attention, preparing himself for yet another eyeroll or a comment about how stupid he was, but all he got was a nod of the head, then an abrupt, "Whoa. You see that?"

Frowning, he huddled over to Monty, following his pointer finger. There, out in the open, maybe a few feet between the camp and the city, stood a small group of Zoners, a woman with a blazing sword in their midst.

"What the actual fuck," it escaped him, then he motioned for one of the soldiers in the back to go give the signal and get the General and Commander out there.

The Zoners had stopped, just staring up at the walls, and a funny feeling crept up Murphy's spine as he watched from where he stood, mostly hidden from view.

What did these people think they were doing? And why the hell did they have an Eternal among them? One that hadn't had the procedure done, to boot. A freaking functional Eternal.

This was probably not very good.

* * *

…

Roan patted Charmaine Diyoza's back, mumbling to her. Taking a deep breath, she listened. His warm breath against her cold ear made her shiver. When he was done, she nodded and took a calculated step forward. Where she stood, she knew people behind the walls would be able to see her if they climbed up enough. All they had to do was talk loudly enough.

"People of Arkadia!" Roan's rumbling voice definitely had a good volume to it. Tensing her shoulders, Char waited for him to say what he wanted to say. Once he was done, she would stretch her arm out into the sky, brandishing her weapon like a beacon, her sleeve already rolled up so everyone could see her gleaming scar poking out.

"I know you're housing the Silveren refugees," the Zoner king continued, and she gnawed on her lip, still not quite sure whether she truly agreed where this was going. But her people had been through too much. They had given up their privileges before, and had been promised peace. For what, though? For what but more pain? A new war in which they didn't have the power to fight anymore?

She sniffed, gritting her teeth. No, she wasn't going to let them run into another fight and be killed, not after what she had had to witness at the Black Ruins.

"Do you trust these refugees? They were your enemies up until recently, after all…" Roan continued, pausing briefly, before changing direction. He had begun to sew the first seeds of distrust on the Golden side without many words, now it was time to go for the actual blow.

"And Silveren: Do you really like your new life? As refugees in a city of people that don't really care about you? That are probably rather happy that you gave up your one source of power? Do you want this? Do you want your children to grow up without pride, without a place to really call home? Living in tents when you could have so much more?"

He nodded to Char, who stepped just one more step toward him, where he pulled up her arm even higher, and she stared up at the blazing sword, feeling the strange flow inside of her. This weapon was a bit crude, not what she was used to from before, and yet Nyko had done a pretty decent job. It almost felt like the real thing.

"Look at her," Roan implored their invisible audience. "She's one of you. Or was. She gave it up, too, her Eternal status, her weapon. But look at her now: she got it back. _We_ gave it back to her! And we'll give it back to you, too: your power, your pride. If you join us and help us fight these hypocrites, we will welcome you among us with open arms! - Open the gates!"

A grin spread on his face, mirrored by Char's own. They couldn't see it yet, but she knew the words would have had an effect on her people. She simply knew, because they had worked on _her_.

* * *

…

Raven was growing nervous. Everyone had heard the Zoners outside, their offer. With a house full of her own people, most of them former Eternals or at least related to an Eternal, she didn't know what to do. People were growing restless.

"Maybe we should listen to what they have to offer," someone said, and a lot of the others agreed. Raven ran her hands over her face, then stalked over to the loudest of the complaining former Eternals.

"Are you all idiots?!" she yelled at them, shaking her head in disbelief. "Do you remember what it took us to get here? To stop this freaking war? We've all risked so damn much. We've worked so hard for this, and now you wanna give all that up and go back to having these scars and that pain, and and…" She was so angry she was lost for words, and it made her grow upset with herself. "Is that really what you want?"

"Even the Captain son has his scar back," someone noted, and the whole room seemed to agree, nodding and chattering and making Raven's head feel like it was about to explode.

Shit, she thought. She was losing them. Bellamy better get down here. She better try and find him to appease their people before they did something stupid. Before this whole situation escalated.

She also needed to warn John. He couldn't be at the gates. Not when things went south… With a deep inhalation and a shuddering exhalation, she tried to calm herself. "Listen," she then said, trying one last time. "Let me get Bellamy here and we can talk about this."

They looked at her with dark eyes and grim faces, but at least they were listening. "Please," she implored them, "before you do anything rash…"

A first tentative nod from one of the people was soon followed by the others falling silent.

"He better be here quick then," someone said, and Raven exhaled in a shudder.

She had bought them some time. Now she had to run and hope she could find Bell anywhere. And fast.

* * *

…

They walked out there, weapons at the ready. Bellamy had unearthed one of the few remaining Eternal weapons they had stashed away, locked up to deal with another time. Clarke was still carrying the dagger Octavia had once given her during the last real fight she had had to fight. The Commander and General both had a rare firearm.

It took everything for Bellamy to not just race over there and chop off that traitor woman's head. What had she been thinking, parading around for the Zoners, letting them use her as bait?

Before he could follow his thought further, Jaha grabbed his arm, startling him.

"Son, you should go back and talk with your people inside. I'm not saying they're tempted by this offer, but I don't want to risk it, either."

The words hit him like a sucker punch. The Commander had tried - or rather, pretended - to soften the blow with his choice of words, but it was obvious to Bellamy that the man indeed believed there was a real chance the Silveren would go after the Golden behind their city walls.

 _He's just being cautious,_ Clarke said, and he stared at her.

 _I_ _know,_ he replied, but still, it worked in him.

_Go. I got this…_

With a deep sigh, he nodded, then brushed past her, needing to feel her briefly before he ran off and back toward the city.

...

He had barely made it back, making a confused Murphy frown at him when he passed him at the gates, when Raven appeared from the direction of Kane's mansion, out of breath and with red cheeks.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Murphy tried to shove her back and away from the gates, but she gave him a quick imploring look then pushed him slightly away to focus on Bellamy.

"Thank goodness you're still here. You gotta come with me. We might have a problem."

Jaha had been right. The realization hit Bellamy instantly, making his heart jump in his chest, and he clenched his teeth as he grabbed her arm, already walking away with her.

"What's going on?" he hissed. Behind him, Murphy called, "Yeah, alright, just leave me here in the dark. It's cool…"

Raven shot Bellamy an excusing glance, already turning back around as she did. "I just gotta…" She waved over to the other man, then sprinted away. He couldn't hear her or Murphy, but saw the other man nod, then kiss Raven's forehead. "Be safe," Murphy then called out while she was already jogging backwards toward Bellamy and she nodded at him briefly.

"You, too, John."

"I'm a cockroach. I was born for moments like this." He smirked at her, making her roll her eyes. Then she had caught up with Bellamy and hurried him on toward the mansion.

"Sorry," she muttered, giving him a peevish look, but he didn't comment on it.

"What's going on, Raven?"

"Our people… some of them are considering taking these assholes up on their offer and I'm having a hard time convincing them that it's probably a ruse." She clicked her tongue, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. "I don't know what else to do. They know you got your Eternal scar reactivated and…"

She trailed off but he knew what she wanted to say.

"They think I'm a hypocrite and that they shouldn't have given it up in the first place."

She raised an eyebrow. "Something like that, ya. I'm sorry…"

"Yeah… - Come on, let's go. Clarke is trying to talk the Zoners out of whatever they're planning. We better make sure it's not our people that ruin everything…"

_You got this, Bell. I know you do…_

He scoffed softly, not so sure. _I'll try my best, princess. But we really need you to come through for us too…_

_I know…_


	27. Holding a breath

...

At some point, Octavia had just gotten too tired. Riding day and night, her leg protesting the longer it took, she had been drained to the point where eventually she let herself slump forward, her hands fisting the mane of her horse so she wouldn't fall completely. Thus clinging to the animal, she felt its muscles move under her as it continued its gallop, following Indra, and Finn, and a congregation of the Blazing as a large shadow appeared in front of them.

"O."

A soft touch against the base of her head made her raise herself up slowly, strong arms coming around her.

"I got this," she snapped, only then realizing that it was Finn and that they had stopped. He didn't let go at her harsh tone, just gave her this look that she didn't even know how to read. A soft halfsmile with a lot of fondness, a hint of compassion.

"Let's get you down. Time to rest for a bit."

"Rest? I thought Indra had said we needed to hurry—"

"Yeah, well. And you need rest - we need rest," he amended quickly when she couldn't help but glare at him with sudden annoyance. "Come on…"

With a grudging mumble she let him help her down. Once her feet touched ground, she half fell against him from the shock of her injured leg getting jostled. He caught her easily, her hands gripping his shirt for support and she looked up to him, frowning, then said, "It's getting a bit too cold for this kind of outfit, don't you think?"

The genuine laugh coming from him in reply startled her, but soon the corners of her mouth curled up too as she chimed in involuntarily. Until a curt voice interrupted them.

"I'm glad you two are enjoying each other, but my people have arrived and we need to discuss our strategy from here."

Swallowing the chuckle, Octavia sobered quickly, pulling herself up even more until she stood on her own, exchanging a quick furtive glance with Finn.

"Indra," she said, her expression undecided between a smile and a frown, until the warrior woman suddenly winked at her. It was such a short lived expression, just a second or so before she grew serious again, that Octavia wasn't even sure she had seen it. After all, Indra was rarely seen smiling or looking even remotely pleased. But this moment right there, she had seemed… happy with what she had seen.

Rubbing her cold ears in a self-conscious gesture, Octavia looked around, only now noticing that the large wall of shadow must have been the forest people. Eyes widening, she stared at what seemed to be the largest number of clan members she had ever seen.

Turning to face Indra, she saw the woman nod with a proud air.

"We take this threat very seriously, Octavia, Captain's daughter. And we're honored to be riding with you and the risen to keep the peace," she said with a solemn tone that caused Finn to stifle a cough.

Octavia pressed her lips together, a bit surprised by the sheer number of people. As if she hadn't realized the scale Indra had been talking about because truth was, she hadn't. And now she was wondering just what scenario exactly the woman was expecting?

Was Arkadia going to get overrun? And why had the Blazing come? Not all of them, perhaps, but a good fifteen or twenty of them. Octavia looked over to them now, puzzling yet again how they even communicated among each other. The way they chattered seemed to be just one component and the longer she spent time around them, the more she had begun to suspect that they had some kind of mind bonds of their own.

Shaking her head, she tried to focus back on Indra, or she would get all worked up again on how people that seemed doused in Silveren nanobots could also maintain the more Golden associated trait of a telepathic link. It was mind-boggling.

"So," she said, returning her focus to Indra. "How are we going to proceed from here? You said we need to hurry."

The warrior nodded her agreement. "This will be a short break only. My people need a moment to go over our strategy, and then we'll be off again."

"I still don't understand what's going on, why so many of your people are here," Finn said, the frown on his face still firmly in place, mirroring Octavia's own.

"It's because of the scale of this event. Arkadia is the Golden capital. If it falls…"

He shook his head, clearly not seeing her point.

"It won't," he said, and Octavia had to admit to herself she was with him there. Arkadia was a massive city with massive walls. No one could easily overrun it and destroy it. The Neutral Zone certainly couldn't have gotten enough tech to even attempt such a daring feat.

But Indra huffed in obvious annoyance, then poked a finger at Finn in a rather un-impressed way. "Well, maybe not if your people," she shot Octavia a glance, too, "wouldn't try to go against their hosts."

"The hell are you talking about? Our people would never—"

Indra waved an arm to stop Octavia, then she jerked her head in the direction of the Blazing.

"They've seen it happen."

"What?!" She wasn't sure she understood, and she could tell that Finn was equally bewildered.

"What are you talking about?"

The warrior woman sighed, looking hard at them both. "They are telepaths, and seers. You have spent more time with them than I have, Octavia of the Silveren, how did you not pick up on that?!"

Swallowing, Octavia had to fight to keep her rising temper in check. She didn't like to be called out like that, made to feel like a stupid child. Indra was right, though. How had the warrior learned so much about and from them, while Octavia had learned… nothing?

"I… I still don't understand how our people would do something like that…"

Indra shrugged. "If the temptation is big enough…" Then, before either Octavia or Finn could ask any more questions, she walked away, toward her people, one hand on the pommel of her sword as if she was already preparing to strike.

Octavia exchanged a glance with her flustered looking companion.

"What temptation?" she asked, and Finn shrugged, running a hand over his face in a weary gesture. Then he stood up straighter, offering her an arm.

"Maybe we can ask these Blazing ourselves."

"Yeah." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Like talking to them has worked so well for me in the last few days. But who knows, maybe the risen has a special connection to them and you can get more out of them."

He had grimaced when she had used that term, and she almost felt sorry. But she wasn't willing to apologize for something as stupid as that, and he wasn't bringing it up, either, so she remained quiet, following him slowly on his way over to the shiny strangers.

* * *

…

"Risen." The one called Acer was the first to spot them and he smiled at Finn with a soft expression that made him want to just turn around and leave again.

He hated that word, hated that he had no idea what it meant or why anyone would honestly think it could refer to him. But there was no way out of that strange responsibility it seemed, so he simply went with it, acutely aware of Octavia by his side, giving him a sideways glance.

She was still hanging onto him, trying not to put weight on her leg, and he had to admit that he liked feeling her beside him, feeling her clothes brush against his with a soft rustle every so often.

But now they were here to talk to these kind and strange people that had helped them so much, had saved his life, even, and he didn't even know what to say.

 _It_ _was_ _an_ _honor_ _to_ _help_ _you_ _and_ _the_ _girl_ , Acer said, and Renn bowed his head.

"Thank you," he muttered, then continued, _I'm sorry we invaded your home, that we brought all this mess with us. And I'm sorry I have to ask this, but… Indra_ , he pointed offhandedly behind him, _she said that you have already seen what is going to happen if we can't stop it. What have you seen?_

It felt weird to even ask, but he had to. Chances were the poor guy wouldn't understand him anyways. Then again, hadn't he just spoken rather eloquently before? Finn frowned, feeling uneasy.

_We don't all see. Dell does. Sung. Nix. I don't. Though I believe. - Let me get Dell for you. She can answer your questions..._

Finn nodded, expecting the man to return to his group and talk to the tall woman who seemed to be their leader. But he remained standing before them, smile in place, eyes taking on a vacant look.

_There are no easy answers, Risen. Your people seek lost powers. They are hurting. Those who are hurt lash out unexpectedly sometimes. It doesn't make them bad people. It doesn't make you bad. But it will be okay, because you are here to guide them back on their path. They will see you, and they will heed your warning. I have seen it._

He shook his head, looking at Octavia as if maybe she was better at this asking the right questions thing, but her stare was vacant, her features frozen in a mask of wonder, and when he tapped her chin lightly, she slowly moved to look at him, life whooshing back into her face.

"What the hell was that?" she said with a soft gasp, and only then did it slowly trickle into his conscience that something had happened he hadn't caught on to before. They had been able to understand the Blazing, had communicated with them. Confused, he stared at her, seeing the wonder in her eyes as she held his gaze.

"Did you really just communicate with them? How?" she asked, making his frown deepen.

"What do you mean? You heard them too, right?"

"I did, but… I couldn't talk to them. It was… bizarre. And then I heard you, but like you were in my head or something, not out here."

A lump was lodging in his throat, making him feel uncomfortable. Great, was he turning into even more of a freak now? As if the silver sheen wasn't enough. Averting his gaze, he fidgeted with the bandage Indra had given him for his arm, making sure it still covered the entire length of his arm, getting lost somewhere until a light touch against the side of his neck jolted him back.

Octavia was looking at him with an earnest expression and he had to fight the urge to cast his eyes down instead of meeting her gaze.

"She meant the Eternal scars, right? You think Roan found a way to do what I suggested? Reactivate the Eternals? - I should have never even mentioned it."

Scoffing, he shook his head. "He already knew. After all, he saw what happened to me. If anything, I should have made sure they didn't catch me alive - as I was trained to do." He rolled his eyes. Yet another blunder…

Her hand was still resting against his neck, his heart beating a little too fast under the touch.

"They said we can fix this. So let's fix it."

"How?" he asked, a desperate grin on his face. They didn't even really understand what the hell was supposed to happen. "If our people go against the Golden, there'll be war on more than one front. I don't see how us getting there can change any of that."

"We have Indra's people—"

His harsh scoff cut into her words. "To do what? What if our people are already mutineering as we speak? What if it's already over by the time we get there? Either they're all dead, because it's a freaking Golden city after all, or… if by some stroke of… of luck or whatever you'd wanna call it, they make it over to Roan's people, he will use them up like cheap cannon fodder just to get into Arkadia. He doesn't really care about our people. All he wants is entrance into the city. And power. It all comes down to freaking power…"

Her head slightly tilted, her dark braids falling into her face, Octavia stood before him, and he was ready to hear her tear into him for being weak and melodramatic, but then she nodded slowly and said, "You're right. And that's why we have to at least try. Because aside from us, no one cares about our people. They need us."

His jaw muscles hurt from being too taut, but it was a mere blip on his body's radar, couldn't even begin to compete with the other pain still prevalent, if dulled considerably since the Blazing had treated him. But suddenly, it washed over him again, rising and ebbing away in a strange tidal wave, almost as if it could sense his desperation.

Then Octavia leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. "We have to try, Finn. For our people," she whispered, and wrapping his hands around her neck, breathing her in, he nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Okay…"

* * *

…

Shit. Raven looked around, her ponytail flying behind her as she whipped her head around. They hadn't even made it back to Kane's place before the streets before them had filled with their enraged looking fellow Silveren, some of them brandishing batons and pipes, whatever materials they had been able to find and that could work as weapons.

Understandably, the Golden Command hadn't allowed them into the city with their weapons, and all Eternals had given up their swords way before, a precaution that Raven could now see wasn't helping much. Her heart was torn. On the one hand, she would always be one of them, a Silveren, would always stand by them. On the other, she knew that the Golden had been kind, if wary. They had allowed them shelter behind their city walls, they had agreed to the truce, had offered all assistance. She had worked by their side, with them. And she had fallen in love with one of them.

Now her people were getting ready to revolt, to undo everything they had accomplished, endanger the fragile peace. For what? A weak promise of power? Dazed, she watched as Bellamy stood up straighter, extending both arms as if he wanted to single handedly block their way.

"They're going for the gates aren't they?" she asked, face falling, and he shot her a quick sideways glance.

"Yeah."

"Shit. Alright, what do we do? We can't let them get there. They'll… if they open the gates and let the Zoners in, we're all toast."

"I know."

Raven took a deep breath. "You don't think that they'd even pull through on that offer, do you?" She had to ask, even though she was sure she knew the answer.

Bellamy's brief glare was confirmation enough. "What do you think? That the guy would willingly arm some of the strongest soldiers there are?" He scoffed. Out loud, he yelled at the nearing crowd, "Don't be stupid. It's a trap. He'll kill you as soon as you give him access to the city."

Out of the corners of her eyes, Raven saw Golden military approach and she tapped Bellamy's arm, her heart clenching.

"Bellamy."

"I know," he muttered, not looking at her but focusing on their people approaching them. "See the soldiers at your sides? They won't just let you pass, you know that. They'll fight you like an enemy. They'll kill you and you won't even make it out of here. Is that really worth it? Getting your children killed? Your families? For empty promises of things we fought so hard to get rid of?"

"Easy for you to say, Captain son," a voice called out among their midst, and when the people parted, Raven and Bellamy were both shocked to see it was Titus.

"That piece of shit," it escaped Bellamy, and she couldn't have agreed more. The man had pretended to be on their side, had worked so hard to keep the camp afloat, and now? He continued, sneering. "Don't _you_ have your Eternal powers back?"

Jaw set, Bellamy stared at the man. His anger was palpable now, just like his disappointment, and Raven couldn't blame him. Together, they had worked so freaking hard to help these people and now they wanted all that pain and desperation back? The suffering?

Would the Golden react the same way once she had finally perfected the bond cure to a state where she dared try it out again? Or should she just stop now, give up before she invested even more in something people would eventually come to loathe?

But now was not the time to think about that. Now they had to try and keep these enraged people at bay, keep them from storming into their own undoing, thus hurting the entire city of Arkadia.

"What do we do," she hissed to Bellamy, who didn't give a sign that he'd heard her, just continued to stare at Titus and the others, still holding out his arms.

"You don't want this. Let's talk about it."

"Talk?!" Titus scoffed, guiding the men and women further, shoving past Raven and Bellamy. "We're done talking, Captain son. We're done being powerless, living in tents, feeling degraded—"

"Did you forget at what cost the Eternal scars came?" Raven yelled at him as she and Bellamy tried to keep the people from moving, Golden soldiers zoning in from all directions now.

What if they decided to treat the Silveren as a threat? She knew they had a few firearms too. The whole situation could easily turn into a complete disaster even within the city walls. With the Golden closing in on them, she soon felt pushed to the outside, losing sight of Bellamy. Calling out to him, she didn't get an answer and began panicking as ever more bodies pressed against her, people yelling and screaming.

She heard shots, clatter and clanging. People fell, a lot of them hers. Raising her arms, she tried to get back into the pulk, but couldn't seem to make her way. It was all a mass of limbs and bodies. She saw her own hands grappling at something as she fell, her knees harshly connecting with the cobbled floor. People were above her, closing out the sky, and she had trouble breathing, seeing.

"Bellamy?!"

A hand clasped around her wrist from somewhere, she didn't know where, because she had lost all sense of direction, but when she looked up, it wasn't him.

"John?"

"What the hell are you doing here, Raven?"

He pulled her up, and she came to stand half leaning against him, realizing that they had somehow managed to get way too close to the gates. John must have rushed over once he saw that, trying to fend them all off.

"We can't let them get past the gates." Raven panted, barely getting the words out.

"No shit." John wildly looked around, motioning something to a few of his fellow guards. When Raven looked around, she saw that the Golden soldiers had all lined up by the gates, trying to keep the remaining crowd of Silveren from barging through. As she watched, John tried to push her behind his back, making her glare at him.

"What are you doing?!"

"Trying to keep you safe, what does it look like?!"

"I can take—"

"If you're going to tell me you can take care of yourself after I just dug you out of a pile of people, don't even continue."

She rolled her eyes at his annoyed face, even though he had a point.

"What do we do?" she asked, her hand on his back as she peeked over his shoulder, finally seeing Bellamy emerge in between the Golden and Silveren, seemingly keeping both of them at bay.

"Stop," he said, arms held up high as if he was the one surrendering. "Come on, guys. The enemy is outside! Commander Jaha and Clarke are trying to diffuse the situation out there right now, but if we fight in here, against each other…" He shook his head, desperate and lost for words. "Come on, Titus, our people will get killed if you don't stop this."

The man scoffed. "They're not yours anymore, Blake. You're in bed with the Golden - literally. You're not on our side anymore."

Chuckling without humor, Bellamy shook his head. "You know that's not true. Clarke and I did everything we could to make this all stop, to give you all a better life—"

"Yet here you are, with your Eternal powers back, but we are supposed to not do the same?"

"You think I wanted this?!"

Titus raised his chin, challenging Bellamy, but he didn't say anything.

"Come on," Bellamy was addressing the others now, looking around all the faces, some of them more confused than angry. "You can't want this. The war is finally over. You can't win anything. All you can do is lose. Your lives and a chance for the rest of our people to live in peace. Look around you, there's not a chance you'll make it out alive…"

The Silveren stood frozen, contemplating Bellamy's words. Out of the corner of her eyes Raven saw the Golden guards point their rifles, ready to intervene if Bellamy failed.

Murphy held out his hands in a gesture not unlike Bellamy's.

And Raven held her breath.


	28. Parlay interrupted

…

As she was walking over the open field before the city, past the deserted camp, Clarke's skin began to prickle. Jaha shot her a glance that she answered with a brief solemn stare before they continued on. A little to the side of the camp, the man they had all heard and seen before stood waiting, his large troop of soldiers visible in the back. As they got closer, Kane tapped her shoulder, nodding.

"That's Roan. And there's Nyko. I don't think I've meet either of the others."

 _You better hurry this up. We have a problem here,_ Bellamy piped up, setting her nerves on edge. She had hoped by now the situation would already have been deescalated.

_I'm trying…_

They both were.

Right then, Commander Jaha bridged the remaining distance extending an arm for a greeting. But neither of the Zoners took the offer.

Clearing his throat, he went on to introduce himself, then the others. "I hope we can come to a peaceful agreement," he said, making Roan smirk.

"I think we might be past that. After what you did, there's nothing you could offer us aside from leaving us your city for the taking." Roan's grin widened as Jaha raised an eyebrow.

"We can't do that."

"Then, I believe, there's no need to continue this parlay.

Clarke scoffed disbelievingly. Pushing past Jaha, she walked closer toward Roan, raising her chin to stare at him with disdain. "After what we did?" she repeated with a challenging tone, her frustration growing. "You went on a crusade to go and steal all remaining Eternal metal. If you hadn't threatened us, we could have examined the site at the Black Ruins more thoroughly and it would have never come as far as it did."

Roan's gaze rested on Clarke's stomach instead of her face, irking her, but she forced herself to remain calm.

"You have the audacity to accuse me of aiding in your blunder?" he asked, scoffing. "The metal is not yours for the taking; it never was."

"You're right. It wasn't. Neither was it yours, though. It's no ones, which is why we wanted to destroy it." She paused, sighing. "Roan, listen." She was going to try a different route, hoping for him to be a rational leader. "The metal is dangerous. For all of us. Let's work together to rid the world of it. We can help you rebuild what was lost—"

He snorted, a mixture of grim amusement on his face. But it was the young woman beside him that spoke. "Rebuild?" she hissed. "We lost lives. People. Those can't be rebuild."

"Echo." Roan shook his head at her, and she fell silent. As Clarke's gaze met Echo's briefly, she felt a pang and looked down. There was nothing she could say to that. Echo was right, of course. Both sides had lost so many lives. Octavia hadn't come home. Finn. So many others.

Beside Clarke, Commander Jaha straightened his shoulders, laying a hand on her arm right when she wanted to try and say something, anything to not let the silence take over.

"We are sorry," he said, surprising Clarke. Wasn't that too much of an admission that they had done something wrong? _Had_ they done something wrong? Looking from Jaha to Roan, she noticed something passing between them, maybe a hint of respect, she wasn't quite sure, but it gave her hope.

"We can't bring back the dead. We can, however, work on not adding to that number. Kane." Jaha nodded over to Marcus, who looked at him with an alert expression. "I'm sure we could set up a kind of task force with members of each faction to investigate what really happened at the Black Ruins?"

"Definitely," Marcus was quick to agree, nodding. "I'm sure Nyko would like to be part of—"

"Of course we'll leave it to you who you'd like to put on that team," Jaha spoke over him, inclining his head to bow to Roan. The Neutral Zoners' leader nodded at him, opening his mouth to reply.

"That's all fair and well. But not enough. Give us those former Eternals, too, and maybe we have a deal."

"You know we can't do that. These people are our guests."

"Why don't you let them decide for themselves, then?" Roan was grinning, and Clarke had to grit her teeth. The man was smart. He knew they couldn't possibly do that. That at this very moment, despite the truce and everything she and Bellamy had accomplished together, the Silveren within Arkadia's walls weren't free. And that peace was incredibly fragile because of it.

Stepping forward, her gaze locked on Roan's. "They can make their decision. But not while they're still in our city. Not while you are still at our doorstep with an army, threatening to storm us. If you back off, send your troops away, I can assure you we will let the Silveren leave and contemplate your offer. However, we will still advise them against it. And we will still continue on our mission to destroy all Eternal metal. If you are not going to support us there, fine. But don't stand in our way…"

"Clarke." Jaha's tone was cold, anger discernible in his features as he now grabbed her arm to stop her from saying any more. She was a little surprised he had let her speak for so long to begin with. His mission was much more diplomatic than hers. She just needed to deflect Roan's attention from the city, from the dangerous standoff that was happening around Bellamy at this very moment. If the Zoners got so much of a whiff of it, they could rush over to try and help the Silveren from the outside, and then…

Suddenly, a loud yelling sound came from somewhere behind the hills, and they all turned their heads to look, hands going for their weapons.

Roan hissed, glaring at Clarke. "If that is you trying to ambush us, Golden, let me tell you now that I don't care that you are pregnant. Warrior is warrior, and I will fight you as such if you don't call your people off." With that, he pulled his sword on her, which she quickly evaded by stepping back, baring her teeth in an angry grin.

"This is not us," she said, holding her dagger at the ready, her feet in a fighting stance as she faced both Roan and Echo.

Somewhere to her side, Jaha and the General who had been rather silent until then, readied themselves for a potential fight, too. "Please," Jaha was saying, raising one arm appeasingly, "We can still talk about this…"

Clarke, however, wasn't so sure anymore.

When she looked around, she saw some of the Zoners at the city gates, banging against it from one side, while Silveren were trying to open it from inside. Shots were fired, and suddenly, the world turned completely wild.

She had no idea any more what was happening. She saw the Silveren as if she was in their midst. Saw Murphy trying to keep them away while at the same time telling his fellow guards to not shoot! Not shoot. She felt the heat of too many bodies pressing against her from all sides, but it wasn't her. It wasn't her this was happening to. It was Bellamy.

_Bell!_

_You gotta get out of there, Clarke—_

Then she was back, back out in the open, her dagger barely deflecting the attack of Echo's baton as she whirled around, ducking to the ground.

More Zoners were trying to get to the gates. Roan was grinning, yelling something. Kane tried pushing Clarke away, trying in his own way to protect her.

"Come on, kid," he hissed, "we gotta get you out of this mess. Abby will be livid if she hears you were even out here in the first place..."

"I'm fine," she countered angrily, trying to push him off and failing.

Kane shook his head. "And Bellamy will kill me if I let anything happen to you. It cost me too damn much to get that kid back in one piece for you, I'm not gonna let you be stupid now."

With that, he manhandled her away, while they heard the sound of a hundred or more hooves shaking the earth, making them all stop in their tracks and stare as a wall of dust and ashes came down the hills like an avalanche, rolling into the valley Arkadia was built into.

It couldn't be their reinforcements yet, Clarke knew that much. It was days before anyone would reach them.

"What the hell," it escaped Marcus, then he pointed, one arm still wrapped around Clarke, but she didn't even fight him anymore. They had lost sight of Jaha and his people, only saw glimpses of Roan and Echo a little further away, all of them staring half shocked, half awed at the approaching number of riders on horses, spearheaded by something fast and blazing.

 _Someone_.

* * *

…

From up above on the hills, Octavia had a good glimpse of the valley below in which Arkadia lay nestled like a giant bird's egg. But what had once been a seemingly great defense for the city, now showed its weaker side. The Golden capital was surrounded by enemy forces, like a cauldron everyone wanted to dip into, and now here she was, staring down at it all, exchanging an awed glance with Finn.

"Look."

Her gaze wandered toward where Indra beside her was pointing, and she clutched at her horse's reins a little harder when she saw what the warrior woman meant.

A tumultuous looking situation over by the city's gates, a group of people pushing into it from outside, Zoners by the looks of them, then others pulling from inside. To open the doors to the enemy troops.

"That's ours…" Finn's voice was small, and Octavia knew all too well how he felt. Her throat was tightening, her fists clenching around the bridles until her fingernails dug into her palms. Her people were really trying to help the enemy? How the hell could it have come so far after everything they had accomplished in the last year?

"We gotta stop this," she said, raising her chin, taking a deep breath to fill her lungs with the cool fall air. There was still a faint smell of ash, even this far from the Black Ruins, but maybe it had settled in her hair, in her pores and she had brought it here. It didn't matter.

"How." Finn gave her a look, shaking his head. It was so obvious that he had no idea what to do, that he'd rather be anywhere but here.

Shrugging, she said, "I don't know. Get down there, ride into them, I don't care. We cannot let them do this. They'll all get killed. And over what?"

The longer she looked at him, as if he had an actual answer for her, she watched something transform in him. It started behind his eyes, like a flicker of light in the darkness, then his body tensed, his shoulders squaring.

"You are the risen," Indra told him, looking to him as if even she, the proud forester warrior, was waiting for his signal.

 _You_ _can_ _do_ _it,_ _Finn_ , Octavia thought but didn't say, and then he nodded at her, just a brief jerk of his chin, and dug his heels into his horse's flanks. For a moment, she sat watching him, not sure what she should do, what any of them should do, but when she moved to get her horse to follow, Indra held out a hand to stop Octavia, stop her own people, too.

"What the hell?!" Octavia whirled to glare at her mentor, and tried to shove her arm out of the way as Indra implored her to "Wait."

A shuddering breath escaped her but something in the other woman's demeanor did make her stop and follow her gaze, the jerk of her chin. Then they watched as Finn made his way down the slope, straight toward the entrance of the city, then stopped a good few hundred feet away from it, his horse whinnying as he reined it in with a yell, then raised his left arm, his weapon arm high.

"Stop!" he yelled, having the attention of them all for a moment before the people began moving again, began pushing and shoving at the gates.

Someone called out to them, encouraging them to continue, and even from where she stood waiting, Octavia could see that it was Roan.

"Keep going! Let us in and you can all have your powers back, your Eternal status. You can be whole again! Not live in tents and serve those that call themselves your allies."

Octavia looked at Indra again, growing nervous. Her braids flew as she turned her head, glaring between the scene down below and the forester beside her.

"We gotta do something. Help Finn. He can't do this alone."

"He is not alone."

Octavia scoffed, rolling her eyes. As much as she loved and respected the older woman, sometimes she felt the deep urge to slap her so she would talk some sense. And stop being so enigmatic about everything.

"I get it," she hissed. "You think he's the risen, here to save us all, but he's just one guy! Against so many more. We need to get down there and try to clear the gates."

"Give it time, Captain's daughter. Wait…"

Huffing, Octavia forced herself to do just that. If only for another minute or so. Down there, not too far away, Finn was holding up his arm, weapon attached, gleaming so bright like she had never seen any Eternal Weapon gleam before.

"Don't listen to him," he now yelled, staring hard at the people inside, their people, while a few of the Zoners slowly started to close in on him.

"Why would they?" Roan, who had appeared out of nowhere, stepped before him, looking up. Octavia couldn't see his features too well from where she was, but she assumed he had a grin on his face. His tone was condescending. "You already got what they want. You got your powers back, didn't you? Why won't you let them have theirs, too?"

Finn shook his head, pulling down the collar of his shirt with his free hand. His blazing arm, his weapon - so bright they could all see it from a mile away - was only part of the truth of course. Octavia knew that. Roan too. But their people needed to see, to be reminded.

His shoulder was burning just as bright, the spot where the sheen connected under his clavicles visible now as he grinned humorlessly at Roan and his people.

Abruptly, the commotion seemed to slow down as the people within the city walls froze, and Octavia up on her horse felt a cold ripple across her body. Giving Indra one last look, she saw the woman nod, then she sped down, dust flying up where her horse was going, and she rode as fast as she could until she arrived right by Finn's side.

"Captain's daughter," some hissed, a murmur spreading, and when she got close enough, she saw Roan look at her with something like amused resignation.

"You?"

She raised an eyebrow, shooting him one dismissive glance before she focused on Finn. With one arm she reached out to touch him, make him let go of his collar. She smiled, nodding her head, then turned to look over to where Indra was still waiting, and waved.

Finn sighed, following her gaze briefly. Then he turned to look at their people, asking with a tone so weary that it made Octavia's heart ache, "Do you really want this back? _This_?! Don't you remember the pain? What it did to you, to the others? If you honestly want this back, fine. I'll find a way. But this is not it. You're ruining the peace. And I'm done with war. - Aren't you?"

As he said it, a loud noise crescendoed behind them all, making everyone turn their heads once again. Shocked faces stared at the oncoming cloud of dust and horses as hundreds of foresters followed Indra down the slope until they all reached Octavia and Finn in the middle of the commotion by the gates, the Zoners quickly backing away a few feet to make room for the bucking animals.

Above their heads, Octavia stared over at the gates, her heart skipping a beat when her gaze locked on Bellamy's.

He was alive.

A fleeting smile crossed her features, mirrored by his, then her gaze wandered over a shocked looking Raven beside him, to a grim Murphy, and back to Finn.

"Here with you," she muttered, leaning in slightly, and he half snorted.

"I have no idea what I'm doing…"

"Sounds good enough to me."

A genuine smile played across his features for the briefest of moments. Then Titus behind the gates seemed to be the first to focus back on Finn, and he jolted them back with a hissed, "This is easy enough for you to say."

Octavia could see her brother try to push past the man, her throat clenching as she saw him.

"It's not freaking _easy_ ," Finn's angered voice rang out as he hopped off his horse, despite his previous words looking rather determined and sure of himself as he did, and Octavia couldn't help but feel strangely proud of him as he took a few steps, seemingly not at all intimidated by the Zoners, by anyone. And strangely, no one dared get to him, either. Maybe they were afraid. Maybe in awe…

...

"You want this?" Finn continued, holding out his arm, "I'd give it to you if I could. Hell, I'll cut into you with this weapon right now if you really want. All you have to do is put your arms out through the gate. No need to open it. - So?" He had found Titus in the crowd and was zoning in on the man. "You wanna go first?"

Everyone seemed to be looking at the man for a reaction, Zoners, Silveren, and Golden alike.

"It's a trick," Titus said, backing away slightly, while Roan appeared on the other side of the gate, stepping closer and closer to where Finn and Octavia stood.

Finn whirled around and grinned at the man, who squinted at him, drawing his weapon. "I'm not afraid of you, Eternal, and neither are these people. They want more than just the old powers back. They're done living like refugees. Can you give them back their stable homes, too? Because _I_ can."

Finn chuckled, though this was far from amusing. In fact, he was damn tired of it all. He didn't even really have a clue what he was doing here. But people counted on him, for whatever reason even believed in him. The forester clans counted on him, Indra, even Octavia, and so he squared his shoulders once more, accepting the role of the mysterious Risen as if he knew what it was all about.

Keep these people from fighting, from destroying all chances of peace. He could do that, right?

"Why would anyone believe you?" he thus asked Roan, raising his chin as he stared at the man with a now cocky grin. "Did you also tell them that you tried to keep us locked up so you could get the location of more Eternal metal out of us? So you could experiment on us and later-on on them, too, to create an army of your own Eternals? That doesn't exactly sound very peaceful to me…"

Roan huffed, wiping his brow with one hand before looking back up at Finn.

"And you? You brought an army of your own, didn't you? What for if not to fight?

As he shook his head, Finn's gaze wandered over the crowd, briefly landing on Raven, Raven behind the gates, pressed against John Murphy in a rather intimate way, next to her Bellamy, all of them alive, all of them trapped between two sides. An ache spread inside of him at seeing Raven there, still looking exactly like before, her hair coming undone, her cheeks flushed, eyes wide and full of a panicked anticipation. He still loved her, he always would, but he realized right then that his feelings had shifted somehow just like hers seemed to have done. They were both free of each other now...

Smiling, he turned to face Roan again, then searched the crowd for someone else. Listening inside as best as he could, he tried to think a name, not knowing how it really worked.

_Dell?_

_Risen, this is not our fight._

_I know. But it is mine. And I could use some help._

Out of the shadows of the foresters, the tall gleaming woman approached him then, her fellow Blazing by her side. She stood proud, towering above most of them, but she looked at Finn as if for guidance.

Gasps could be heard everywhere, people raised their weapons, but he waved at them, extending both arms. "These people have lived by the Eternal sources for centuries. We can't just keep destroying them, and we can't raid them either. It's their place to be and not ours. It's—"

* * *

…

Raven never heard the rest of Finn's words, because as soon as those blazing, gleaming creatures appeared, a ripple went through the crowd on either side of the gate, and she briefly saw Roan give his people a sign.

Then all hell broke loose and everyone began running in different directions, panicked faces looking to the strangers as if they were devils. But all Ravdn could do was stare in awe, her thoughts going a mile a minute as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that there were people out there that had survived with what looked like a tremendous amount of nanobots in their bodies.

That Finn had survived, and was still walking around even though his entire arm and shoulder were infected with bots, too.

That Octavia was alive, too, and Indra. And a horde of foresters was sitting on horses right outside the city, staring on as the Zoners rather abruptly turned away, as if completely forgetting why they had come out here in the first place.

It was bizarre. But she didn't care. All she cared about was that there was a technological mystery for her to figure out, and that her people at the gates were beginning to lay down their make shift weapons, talking among each other with awe in their eyes.

"Freaky," John muttered, standing close to her, one arm still draped across her, though a lot of tension had left his body. Then he gave her an odd look, and she frowned at him briefly, only half paying attention when he suddenly asked, "So, now that he's back…" He trailed off, looking rather self-conscious, and it took her a minute to put two and two together.

"Finn?"

"Yeah, I mean, I get it. You and him, you were... and now he's back and that's cool…" He was stuttering, making her smile. Her hands found his jacket lapels, pulling him closer. She rolled her eyes at him.

"You think I'm just gonna dump you now, John Murphy?"

"I mean..."

Shaking her head, she didn't let him continue. "Finn and I… I'll always have a spot in my heart for him, I'll always love him, but… I've moved on, and I think so has he…"

"Oh." John's eyes widened, a half smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yeah?"

She leaned closer, her lips almost grazing his. "Uh huh…"

...

* * *

"They're leaving," Kane stupidly noted, while Clarke was still slapping his hands away, and finally, he let go of her completely. Angrily, she stomped away with a last glare in his direction.

"Not because of anything we did," she hissed, but he didn't seem to pay much attention to her upset tone. With an offhanded nod, he walked after her in the opposite direction of most everyone else, making their way through the receding crowd.

Octavia and Finn were back. They had seen it with their own eyes, and Clarke wasn't sure what to feel about the entrance they had made.

 _What_ _the_ _hell_ _was_ _that_? she asked Bellamy, but he didn't have any answers for her. His excitement over his sister's return washed over to her in a wave, and her own chest tightened with emotions.

 _She's_ … _really_ _here_. _She's_ _alive_ , he said, and all she did was nod, as if forgetting that he couldn't see her.

But he could, couldn't he? Right there were the gates, becoming visible ahead as almost all Zoners had cleared the area right around them, and his smile was the most beautiful thing she had seen all day.

 _You_ _okay_ , _princess? I was worried about you…_

Clarke was about to reply when she spotted Roan just a few feet away, accompanied by Nyko and Echo. Following a sudden impulse, she jogged over to Zoner leader, roughly grabbing his shoulder, making him whirl around, sword coming dangerously close to her throat.

 _What the hell are you doing, Clarke?_ Bellamy sounded alarmed. Shutting him out, she focused on the grim looking man before her.

"What do you want?" he challenged, his sword still at her throat, and she could feel Bellamy's concern grow, could hear Kane behind her say, "Please, drop the weapon. We're not here to attack you. Right, Clarke?"

She grinned at Roan, shaking her head as much as the tip of his sword allowed. For some reason, she was not afraid.

Roan eyed her warily, his second in command close by his side, urging him to go on.

"You're afraid of these… gleaming people," Clarke noted, "Why?"

He scoffed, but didn't answer.

"Why," she repeated, squinting at him with suspicion.

"There are legends. When the sun walks the earth again, the end will be near for all that get close enough to get burned," he told her, his face way too earnest, "Run -before _you_ get burned, too…"

With that, he turned away, nodding to Echo and Nyko by his side, ready to walk away, following their people. Nyko exchanged a glance with Kane, a wry expression curling his mouth.

"You should leave, too," he advised them, making both Clarke and Marcus frown.

"Over some childish myth?!"

Nyko glared at her, his tone sharpened when he replied. "It's not just a myth. These people are infected. Your… friend," he nodded to where Finn was still standing by the gates, still busy talking with the Silveren, Octavia close by his side. "It's already started in him. Soon, the infection will spread, and he'll turn into one of them."

"That's not how this works," Clarke began, but Marcus quickly shook his head at her, before looking back at his former friend.

"You think we'll all turn into these shiny people?" he asked and Nyko gave a half nod, making Clarke scoff.

"Don't let him into your city," he told them. "Or you'll all turn." With that he eventually walked after the other two, quickening his pace to keep up.

...

For quite a while Clarke stared after him with an uneasy feeling, until Marcus gently grabbed her arm, shaking his head. "Let's go," he said, pulling her with him, and eventually she followed, not sure what to make of Roan's or Nyko's strange words.

"He knows about the bots, doesn't he?"

Marcus shot her a glance. "Nyko? Yeah. But I don't think he ever told Roan or the other Zoners…"

"What if he's right? What if there is an infectious component to it all? I mean… _Could_ he be right? These people are different. And Finn and Octavia seem to have spent time with them..."

Marcus scratched his chin, thinking about it before he said, "There very well could be. So far all we know is that it needs at least a cut, an injury sustained through contact with Eternal metal to transfer the Silveren bots into our blood streams. Which is rather different than the Golden bots, which are already inherently there. At least as far as we know. These people… seem to have way more bots in them than anyone we know. Maybe they'll let us examine them, see whether it stems from any type of injury. Though I doubt it. This level…" He trailed off, shaking his head, and Clarke understood.

There were still so many mysteries revolving around the bot technology, and now they had encountered another one, with yet unknown consequences.

What if Nyko was right? What if they'd have to quarantine Octavia and Finn?

 _We'll talk about it when you get back here,_ Bellamy chimed in, and she gave a sigh _._

_Alright. Until then, don't…_

... _let them in. I know..._


	29. Reunion

…

The Silveren had eventually calmed and laid their weapons down, allowing John Murphy to take a deep breath, then sigh. Exchanging a glance with Raven, he smiled.

She was still here, after all, by his side, rather than halfway out the gate to get to her boyfriend of old. She had said that she had moved on from Finn… John's smile widened, then he scoffed in disbelief as everything fully sank in.

They had just averted a Zoner attack, helped by a ridiculous deus ex machina apparition of Octavia Blake, Raven's broody former boytoy with an army of foresters and a bunch of shiny freaks, and Raven Reyes was still by his side, smiling.

"What's going on up there?" she asked now, tapping against his forehead, and he shrugged.

"Just… glad it went down the way it did, I guess…"

"Yuh…" Her features had darkened as her gaze was wandering now, finding Bellamy, then Finn, and John grimaced on her behalf. This couldn't be easy. She had fought so hard to come to terms with the fact that the kid had been gone, that she had been relieved about it, and now he was back.

"Excuse me for a sec?" she said, then kissed him softly, her hand wandering over his chest for a moment before she was off, walking toward the gates, where Bellamy Blake was already standing, discussing something with his sister. It all looked way more heated than a happy reunion should probably be. But he didn't pay much attention to them, his head still filled with strange thoughts as the adrenaline slowly left his body.

* * *

…

All Bellamy really wanted to do was open the gates and pull his little sister in for the biggest hug. He had come to terms with the fact that he'd probably never see her again, that she was dead, but here she was, had appeared out of nowhere, at the most crucial moment. She had helped them ward off the Zoners, and now he was supposed to just leave her out there?

But he knew he had to. They couldn't let anyone in until they had made sure that whatever these Blazing people carried in them couldn't be spread.

He was ready to give Finn's condition the benefit of the doubt. After all, Bellamy himself had suffered from a spreading of the sheen before. Chances were, Finn's could be healed as well, potentially quicker now that Kane had so much more practice using his cure.

But it was too dangerous. He owed it to the people inside the city walls to look out for them. If anything, he would have to go out there. To them, to his sister, who had apparently spent a lot of time with this kid lately.

When he suggested it, however, opening the gates to come meet her outside, Octavia shook her head.

"It's alright," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want to make this worse. - You're right. Abby or Kane should probably take a look at us first." Her smile was a bit wan where she stood a foot or so away from the gate, Finn just a little further from her, talking to some of the former Eternals inside, still calming them down.

Bellamy shot the kid a sideways glance, then focused back on his sister. "He's changed," he noticed, nodding over, and Octavia's smile grew more sincere.

"I guess so," she said, and Bellamy frowned. She had changed too. Something had happened to her, to them, and while his sister had always been fierce and independent, she suddenly seemed more mature, more weathered, too.

"What happened to you guys out there?" Bellamy rested an arm against the metal wiring of the gates, and Octavia briefly reached out, almost touching him. Then, with a sigh, she pulled back.

"I thought you were dead," she whispered, her voice so quiet he could barely make out the words. She looked tired, sad…

"So did I." He chuckled sadly, a wistful halfsmile flicking across his features at the memory of all his anguished thoughts and the pain that still lodged in his back, if slowly getting better. "I saw you limp," he noted, pointing at her leg, and she grimaced.

"Yeah. That was right at the start," she muttered, absently rubbing her knee as she fell silent. The way her gaze cleared, then blurred over, Bellamy felt a sudden pang of recognition. He hadn't been the only one she had lost - or had thought she had lost…

"Is Lincoln…" He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud, open wounds that were still not healed, because he already knew the answer. Then, when she looked up, shaking her head, unshed tears in her eyes, all he wanted to do was hug her. But he couldn't. Not yet…

"Can I tell you a secret?" Octavia abruptly said, changing the topic, and he raised his eyebrows in a question, then nodded, briefly looking behind him to see that everyone was still in line, no one trying to leave anymore, or fight. But they had all calmed down, even Titus now silently listening to whatever Finn had to say, and he was surprised to see the kid take on the role of someone these people were looking up to, and he couldn't help feel a little relieved that for once it wasn't him, that he could step into the shadows again.

"What secret?" he now asked his sister, and she leaned forward a bit, until their heads were almost touching. Then she bent down a little to lift the bandage around her leg to reveal a soft shimmer, softer than anything an Eternal weapon inflicted, but definitely there. His eyes shot up to her face, alarmed. "The hell is that?"

"No idea. I wasn't injured that way," she said, implying that it hadn't been through Eternal metal, "not like Finn… But the Blazing treated us both with some of their own medicine and… then this happened."

He nodded, trying to wrap his mind around it, trying also to not freak out. "Okay. We'll… we'll have them look into it, too. Maybe these… Blazing?" He looked at her questioningly, and she nodded. "Maybe they can show us what they did?"

"The thing is… they communicate mostly telepathically, Bell. It's… bizarre. I don't know what kind of Golden bots could have survived in them with the amount of Silveren bots they should have in their bodies. I mean… just look at them. It doesn't even make sense."

"How come we've never seen them before?"

She sighed, wiping her face with her arm to clear away any traces of tears. "They're furtive. We found them by accident, really. Walking into one of the buildings at the Black Ruins…" She chuckled softly as Lee made a face, eyes widening.

"Are you insane?!"

"It's not that different from when we all camped out in that ruined city last year," she defended herself as he ran a hand through his hair, just glad that she had come back from that at all.

No one knew how stable those buildings from the before even were.

"Those were not due to one of the Big Ones hitting."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay, big brother, calm down. We made it back from there, as you can see."

...

His grumbly face made Octavia smile with a sudden surge of fondness. She had missed him so much, even his obnoxious big brother attitude.

"And you're lucky you did," he now said with a reproachful look, when she saw his gaze move to the side. Following it, she saw Finn appear next to her, looking somewhat tired, but still standing tall, with a halfsmile curling the corners of his mouth.

"Hey you," she said, nudging him lightly, then leaning in to quickly whisper an apology. "I hope that didn't hurt."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

"We all know how true that has been in the past…" She raised an eyebrow at him, then chuckled softly as he rolled his eyes. Her hand found his as if of its own accord, and though she saw Bell notice it, frowning at her briefly, she didn't let go, just met his gaze head on, proudly.

"Things are different now," she muttered, whether to explain herself, she wasn't sure. But she felt good, and this felt right, and no matter what else happened, what Abby and Kane would find when they examined them, she was just happy to be back, and be back with Finn.

* * *

…

Raven had watched Finn for a while. How he talked with their people, getting even Titus to eventually understand. Only once they had backed away completely from the gates had he left to go over to where Octavia was talking to Bellamy. And Raven was still just standing there, proud of him, and a bit wistful.

She still loved him, was glad that he was back, but things had indeed changed, and so had her love for him. Like a memory of days gone, it had turned into a fondness, had lost all romantic undertones of old, so it didn't even hurt to see the way Octavia held his hand, or how he looked at her.

No, it felt… good. Liberating. And Raven smiled.

Walking over to the three of them slowly, she waved a hand in greeting. The smile on Finn's face widened.

"Hey Ray…"

"Finn. I barely even recognized you…"

He winked, looking at her a bit shily. "Yeah, well…"

She wanted to touch him, make sure he was really there, but when she stretched an arm out, Bellamy pulled her away just as Finn backed away.

"What?" She glared at either of them with annoyance, but it was Octavia who explained.

"We don't know, yet, whether our Blazing friends could have spread something contagious, so we all agreed to check that first before we get any closer to you guys…"

Raven made a face, but she understood and nodded. Already her mind went over things. "I should get a mobile lab ready. Bring some gloves and kits to take samples. I'm afraid I'll probably have to poke you guys a bit. I'll…" She rubbed her forehead, trying to think. "Let me get Abby. Kane still out there, Bell? Is he okay?"

He swallowed, nodding. "He and Clarke are on their way." His eyes lightened, a smile spreading on his face. "Speak of the devil," he said hoarsely, just as Raven saw Clarke walk toward them, Kane in tow, but also Jaha.

The commander was shaking his head. "Good job out here," he told them, nodding at Bellamy, then moving to pat Finn on the back, but Octavia quickly shook her head, pulling Finn away with her. There was a familiarity between them that gave Raven both a pang and a feeling of relief.

They had both moved on, in ways they might not know or even understand yet, but she had fallen in love with John Murphy, the stupid idiot that he could be, while Finn clearly had at least found someone to rely on. That it was Octavia Blake of all people was a bit of a surprise, but hell if Raven herself hadn't made an equally… startling choice.

Forcing herself to focus back on the here and now, she addressed Jaha. "I would keep my distance, Commander. We don't know yet whether the contact with these new Blazing people could have… contaminated Finn and Octavia and the foresters so we'd suggest you keep your distance until all that is sorted out."

The man nodded, a bit dumbfounded perhaps, but understanding.

"Let's get on that, then. Has someone sent for Abby?"

"On it," Raven said, but before she left, she took a few steps toward the gate, grabbing it with both hands, smiling at Finn. When he smiled back at her, her heart almost melted.

"Glad you're back," she whispered, and he gave the briefest of nods.

"Yeah…"

Then he averted his gaze and Raven rushed back into the city, in search of Abby until a voice rang out behind her.

"Hey Reyes! Wait up!" Murphy came jogging after her, finally falling into a trot beside her as they made their way.

Shooting her a sideways glance, he asked, "You okay?"

When she turned to look at him, there was genuine compassion in his features, and an earnestness she rarely saw on display, and she smiled at him and nodded as he put an arm around her. Because she really was okay. No matter what would come of all the loose ends they'd still have to deal with, she was okay.

…


	30. Quarantine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the serial posting. I’ve decided to just forego the last round of editing for now and post the rest of the story and focus on something else.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Hope you have a bit of fun with this.

...

Eventually, Jaha had given the order to open the gates again. By then the situation had been resolved, the Zoners had retreated, the Golden resumed their normal positions guarding the gates, and the Silveren had even apologized after talking to both Finn and Bellamy for an extended period of time.

Clarke was ready to finally wrap her arms around Bellamy and leave it all behind for the day, and she looked up at him as his arms came around her, pulling her close. All tension left her body then, and the weight of the last few days, maybe even weeks fell away.

"I could use a day off," she joked, making Bellamy chuckle into her hair.

"You and me both, princess…"

Leaning her head against his chest, she heard his heart beat, a soothing sound that made her want to just lay down with him. But first, she had promised Bellamy they'd go over to where Abby and Kane had allotted Octavia, Finn and their new friends accommodations, leaving the skeletal camp to them for the next few days or however long it took to figure out what was going on with them and the Blazing.

"You ready?" she therefore asked, and waited until he nodded in affirmation. He was anxious, she could tell, but she knew better than to call him out on it. Instead she said, "They'll be fine, you know?"

"Yuh," he made, not quite looking at her as they walked out into the open again. The wind had picked up, making it feel positively autumnal out there, and the early darkness only aided in that impression. Trying to close her coat and failing, she huffed to herself.

"It's time this little one makes room," she said, and Bellamy chuckled when he saw the hand's breadth of stomach poke out where the coat didn't fit over it anymore.

"Can't believe we'll really be having a little one so soon."

"Me neither." She scoffed, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Up until now, all their endeavors had kept her mind off of contemplating a life with a baby, but now it seemed to just whoosh into her mind all at once. How was she even going to do all that? Raise a child, keep doing her job, look out for all these people? She had no idea how to even start.

Bringing a baby into this kind of world…

She had thought things would look a lot different than they now did. All they had already accomplished before, it hadn't been enough. The disaster at the Ruins, the Eternals wish to want back what they had worked so hard to get rid of…

"They'll get over it," Bellamy said out loud, having read her thoughts, but she wasn't so sure. "It'll be fine, Clarke." He nudged her lightly, smiling. "Come on…"

"What if this has all been for naught? We can't save people that don't want to be saved, Bellamy. We got lucky this time. Lucky that Finn and these Blazing people showed up. Lucky that Indra brought them and her people here. But we can't rely on forester myths to come true and the Zoners to be ignorant of the bot technology forever. What if they come back?"

"Then we'll deal with it." Bellamy gave her a tired look, and she got it. She was tired too. But his non-answer didn't help any of them.

"We'll have to come up with a better plan. We'll have to catalog and examine the remaining sites thoroughly. We can't let the Black Ruins get repeated anywhere else. And we can't just sit here and wait, either. We need to prepare for the Zoners, and we need to work on resolving the problems with the former Eternals for good. And speak to the ones still waiting for treatment. I mean…" She looked at him, running a hand over her cold cheeks. "What if they refuse?"

"Clarke…"

His mouth in an unhappy bow, he stared at her. They had stopped right in front of the main tent in which Abby had set up a lab of sorts with Raven, but neither of them moved to step in yet.

"We need to talk about this, Bell," she insisted, and eventually he nodded, if briefly.

"I know. Just… can it wait till tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow… okay." She could give him that. Roan wouldn't be back tonight, probably not even in a week or a month. But something told her that eventually, he would be back, and they had to be prepared. But Bellamy was right. It could wait a little while longer…

When she finally opened the flap to the tent, she saw her mother bent over Octavia's leg, both Raven and Finn standing not far.

While Raven was focused on something Abby was pointing out, Clarke noticed that Finn wasn't as skittish around her mom anymore. Head held high, he still watched her warily, but there was a new confidence in his posture that she hadn't ever seen there. Strangely, whatever had happened to him and Octavia seemed to have done him good.

"Just wait, little Blake," John Murphy piped up from behind just then, swaggering into view. "You and Finn will be their newest project. And I can tell you from personal experience that it involves a lot of prodding and poking."

"Shut up, John," Abby and Raven said simultaneously, making him roll his eyes but chuckle. Then he turned around, a smirk appearing on his face as he spotted them.

"If that ain't the big brother and his princess…"

Bellamy didn't even grace him with a reaction, instead walking straight over to where his sister was sitting with one leg dangling off a gurney, they other stretched out in front of her.

"How's it look?" he addressed Abby, who was wrapping the leg back up right then. She gave a sigh, but smiled, especially when her gaze fell on Clarke.

"It's early, but as far as we can tell, there doesn't seem to be an infection with the bots present. The slight sheen is merely superficial, not unlike it was back when Raven got John's blood on her hand. The first samples we took all came back negative." She exchanged her gloves from sterile ones to her usual dark leather pair, and nodded to Octavia. "I still want you to lay down and rest now. Hop on over to the bed. And use the crutches I gave you." Her stare bored into poor Octavia, whose mouth had turned into a thin line, but then she nodded anyways.

"Does that mean I can finally hug my brother?" she asked while hopping off the gurney, extending an arm to grab the crutches Finn had just brought over for her.

Abby shook her head, sighing. "I'd advise against it. Just until we've made sure there's really nothing contagious in your bloodstream."

Clarke nudged Bellamy lightly, feeling the disappointment coming from him, which mirrored that visible in Octavia's expression.

"How long, you think?" she asked for the two of them, and her mom shrugged.

"I'm hoping just a couple days or so. That should give us time to monitor the blood samples for any changes, and also take new ones for comparisons…."

"What about Finn? The bots are definitely back in his system. Is it the same as with Bell?"

Raven, who was sitting in front of Kane's big microscope just a few feet away, raised her head, and Clarke looked over to her expectantly.

"So far so good," the girl said, and Clarke breathed a sigh of relief.

Bellamy didn't seem to be satisfied with that answer, however, and asked, "Which means?"

"That it looks like the kind of spreading you experienced before. We'll treat it the way we treated you. Well… minus the Old One. We'll use a regular weapon - Indra said we could use the one she gave him." Raven lowered her voice. "She really seems to think he's the next big thing or something, it's…"

"Just shut up, Raven." Finn didn't look at any of them, just rubbed his neck uncomfortably, until Octavia placed a hand on his arm, making him stop.

Raven threw her hands up as if in surrender, stifling a chuckle. "Alright, fine. But you gotta admit it's a little funny. You as the foresters' new messiah…" This time she did chuckle, earning herself another glare from Finn. "Sorry," she breathed, finally falling silent, and rolling her eyes at Bellamy, who raised an eyebrow at her.

"So… nothing out of the ordinary," Clarke noted, trying to get them all back on track, and Raven nodded.

"Like I said, so far so good."

"What about your strange new friends, and the foresters that got in contact with them?"

"We haven't been able to sample all their blood yet, but here's where it gets interesting…" Raven looked to Abby, then the until then rather quiet Kane, who both nodded for her to go on.

Clarke subconsciously clutched Bellamy's hand, and he reciprocated the gesture, both of them strangely on edge.

"These people… their blood is chock full of bots, which I guess is not that surprising what with their rather glaring appearances. But these bots… they're not Silveren. Or Golden."

Clarke frowned, not quite understanding yet what that meant. "So there's a third kind of bots? Is that what you're saying?"

Raven nodded, her expression almost solemn. Kane, who stood just a little further away from her, raised an arm, then opened his mouth.

"Actually, we're not quite sure yet. It could be an entirely different version of nanobots, yes. But the ones we extracted from them show rather interesting similarities to the ones we know from Abby - and recently John here."

He waved over to the both of them, and Clarke briefly caught Murphy's gaze, who suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Yeah," he muttered, "I hope that doesn't mean we'll turn into what they are…"

"Finn and Octavia said they have telepathic powers," Kane explained further, looking at John as he did, "I think that might mean you're in the clear. Seeing as your bots worked in severing your bond once they had been altered enough to resemble Abby's."

"But… are you saying these new bots could also just be a… a result of Silveren and Golden bots fusing together? How?" Bellamy exchanged a glance with Clarke, his confusion mixing with her own. Neither of them knew what to make of this new information, what to make of these shiny people and all the different nanobots.

"Yup," Raven said, before Kane could continue on, and going by his slightly flustered expression, he had meant to put it somewhat differently.

_Probably more wordy, too…_

Clarke grinned at Bellamy's dry comment, but quickly returned her focus to the others.

"Alright," she said, sweeping a strand of rogue hair out of her face where it had bothered her. "Any working theory on what could have happened? How they might have… turned the way they are?"

"We do have one, actually, yes." Abby had sat down on the gurney, fidgeting with her hands until she became aware of it and stopped. "Marcus thinks the Black Ruins - at least parts of them - could have been research facilities in the Before. Potentially the birthing ground of the Golden nanobots. Which could explain why they were targeted by the Big Ones."

"We're now thinking that more than one went down there - which would also explain the much stronger reaction to the agent with the consecutive disastrous explosion." Marcus exchanged a glance with Bellamy that Clarke caught, too, and she felt the turmoil going through Bellamy at the mere mention of the inferno. Would he forever blame himself?

 _We gotta move on from this_ , she told him, _You did what we thought was best. We both decided…_

_Yeah…_

Sighing, she let it go. For the moment.

What Kane had said made sense. "But what about these Blazing people? How do they factor in?"

"We're not sure yet. But it could be that they're direct descendants of survivors from the Before, survivors of the Black Ruins bombing, specifically. These survivors would have been doused in bots from all sides. But thanks to the structure of some of these Ruins, we think these buildings had been built to last through an atomic attack, if not a multitude of them. But somewhere in there, life was preserved. If these first survivors back then already looked like their descendants now, chances are they decided to hide. And so they stayed among themselves..."

Clarke was a bit mind-boggled still. And she wasn't the only one. Bellamy was shaking his head, running a hand over his face as he did.

"And you guys, what, talked to them? Telepathically?" He looked to Octavia, then Finn, who seemed to feel a little put on the spot. Then Finn cleared his throat and nodded.

"I think so, yeah."

"You think so?" Bellamy scoffed, shaking his head, and Octavia glared at her brother, pushing herself before Finn. "Were you so sure what the hell was going on when Clarke first appeared in your mind?"

Bellamy made a face, and she went on.

"It was… strange. I mean, I'm not sure how it feels for you guys. But I figure this was different. I… couldn't even communicate with them, just listen. It was just like listening in on a conversation. But you," she turned to look at Finn, "you actually talked, too. I could hear it…"

He shoved his hands into his pockets, avoiding most of their curious gazes. "Yeah, no idea how that worked. Hasn't happened since…"

Abby squinted at him, making him cast his eyes down.

"Hm," she made. "We'll definitely need to check your samples thoroughly the next few days, see whether you don't have at least traces of their bots show up in your blood work.

"What if he does?" Octavia suddenly looked almost protective.

Abby jerked her head, shrugging. "I don't know. We'd have to monitor him… He'd have to remain in quarantine until we could be sure it's not contagious."

"No." Octavia shook her head, pressing her lips together. The one word sounded determined, angered. Clarke took a step forward, trying to appease her, to explain again, but Bellamy held her back, shaking his head.

His sister seemed to catch that small gesture too, and scoffed.

"So we're what now? Your captives? Until we're cleared?"

"You're not captives, O." Bellamy looked at her with a pained expression, sighing when she glared at him, her hands fists. But before she could walk closer to them, Finn pulled her back, a gaze passing between them that made her deflate somewhat.

Right then, the tent flap opened again, and Indra walked in, making a careful wide berth around Clarke and Bellamy as she walked over to where Octavia and Finn were standing.

"They can stay with us," she announced, indicating both of them, then she smiled at Octavia. "Captain's daughter, your place is with us now. You and the risen will always have a home in our midst."

Bellamy snorted. "What's with that risen-talk anyways?"

Indra turned to stare at him, her gaze impenetrable.

 _She's crazier than I first thought,_ Bellamy communicated, and Clarke touched his arm, feeling him bristle. For some reason he had never quite taken to the forester woman, saw her as a threat. There was something buried deep in his childhood that made him wary, and she knew it had to do with his sister and how she'd always ventured out to seek the company of others.

_You know you won't lose her to them, right?_

_Won't I?_

_She loves you, Bellamy. She'll always come back._

_What if they do have…_ He didn't finish his thought but she knew what he meant.

_We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'm sure we'll come up with something if we have to. Kane and Raven can whip something up to cure them, perhaps. Or my mom, or… We'll find a way…_

"They can't just leave," Abby just told Indra, crossing her arms, but the other woman merely stared at her, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"What about the rest of us, then? Are you going to quarantine all of the forest people that were here, too? Me?"

Abby stood tall, ready to challenge back, when Marcus Kane stepped between the two women, a smile on his face. "We're not going to do that, of course," he said, directed at Indra, who had shifted her focus on him.

"Then what are you going to do?"

He sighed, looking around as if for support. Arms crossed, he tipped his head. "We'll let them go with you if they so desire."

"Marcus!" Abby sounded angrier than Clarke had heard her in a long time, but Marcus lifted a hand as if to appease her, his expression now earnest and composed.

"We can't keep them here against their will, Abby. They just helped us avert an attack on our city. We owe them that. We can let them go and maybe… maybe make up a schedule of visits where we can examine them and make sure everything is healing nicely and their still infected."

"We can't do that. We have no way of making sure they won't get in contact with—"

"Are you going to keep me looked up then, too?" Murphy suddenly chimed in, a rather surprising supporter for Octavia and Finn, and everyone frowned at him suspiciously.

"Leave it, Murphy," Raven warned, trying to pull him back out of focus, but he shook his head, looking at her.

"No, I'm genuinely curious. Nobody seemed to have thought it necessary to put me or the doc here in quarantine and we have these super weird corrupted bots in our bodies that - apparently - are very similar to the one in those freaky friends of theirs," he pointed over to Octavia, then Finn, the latter rolling his eyes, the former openly grinning.

"He's right," Octavia said, turning her attention to Abby. "You just walked freely in the city. For a damn year. Doesn't seem like anyone cared then…"

"That was different, O," Bellamy told her. "Just let it go, okay? But I agree with Murphy." _Can't_ _believe_ _I'm_ _saying_ _that_ …

Shannyn stifled a chuckle at that. But she was with him. "Alright," she therefore said, "Octavia, Finn? If you guys are okay with that, I say go with Indra. We can do everything there. No need to stay here. We'll come out to see you every other day. But you'll have to let us help, and you'll have to stay there until we're sure these bots are not in your bodies…"

Octavia inclined her head, thinking. She exchanged a long look with Finn, a moment passing between them. Then, eventually, she very softly said, "Okay…"


	31. Baby

…

It wasn't so bad. Echo wasn't happy that they had been scared into leaving without getting what they came for, but in the end it was probably all for the better. When Roan summoned her to his throne room a week after they had gotten back, he seemed to be in better spirits.

"Sit down," he told her while he was pacing the room, but she decided to just wait standing, watching him make his rounds.

"What can I do for you, my king?"

A soft scoff behind her made her turn around to see Nya appear in the doorframe, Roan's mother and self proclaimed queen.

"Have you told her yet?" the woman asked, jerking her head at Echo as if she was just a thing, and Roan stared at her with unmoving features before shaking his head.

"I was just about to, mother."

"Don't make everything such a fuss…"

Echo wanted to roll her eyes on Roan's behalf but caught herself as she noted the man's minute shake of the head before he addressed her.

"I need eyes in the Golden capital…"

Had she heard that right? He wanted her to spy on their enemies?

"Someone to find out about these gleaming creatures. About the city's defenses. The state of the alliance… I want to know more about that kid and the girl that escaped from here, and I want you to retrieve them."

Swallowing, she nodded, bowing her head low. "Yes, my king."

He sighed at her addressing him that way, but he didn't tell her off again. As if he had gotten tired of it, or maybe he had accepted it.

"When shall I leave?"

"Tonight."

A cold excitement crept into her, making her arms and legs break out in goosebumps. She was ready for this, even though she had no idea how to go about it. That stupid girl had escaped her before, had humiliated her. It was time to pay her back. But how if she was all alone?

She'd find a way...

"You'll have to convince them that you switched sides, that you ran away… I'll send Diyoza with you, maybe together you can convince them that she was the one turning you, and that she wanted to go back..."

"Understood."

"You may go now," he finished, and she bowed again, then left. She was almost to the stairs when she heard Nya cackle.

"You're sending her? Instead of an army? Just because you're scared of some strange shiny people? I thought I had raised a warrior, but maybe I was mistaken."

"Shut up, mother," Roan growled, then Echo couldn't hear them anymore. The fact was, Nya hadn't seen those "shiny people." She had no idea what she was talking about. Echo, on the other hand, had seen them, and she was ready to get behind their secret. Maybe they could be the weapon her people needed…

* * *

…

Bellamy was in the middle of dealing with the third alliance assembly, a meeting they had called into existence after the near disaster with the Zoners in front of the gates a few weeks prior, when he suddenly doubled over, stifling a surprised gasp.

"You alright, Captain son?" Nate shot him a worried glance that he shrugged off quickly as he straightened his back again, plastering a fake smile on his face.

 _What the hell was that?_ he asked in his mind, sure now that it had come from Clarke.

 _Shit_ , she cursed, _It's the contractions. They've been picking up all day._

 _You serious?_ An abrupt excited panic washed over him, his senses growing alert as he looked around the group sitting around him. Jaha was debating with some of the other commanders. General Wallace, as usual, was just listening, tapping the table in front of him rhythmically as he bided his time, surely getting ready to throw some rocks in their way when the time came.

Across from Bellamy, Titus sat, his face a dark, broody mask and he knew that the man merely put up with this new assembly because Finn had miraculously managed to persuade him.

Finn, who had undergone a strange transition since Bellamy had last seen him. The kid hadn't only left behind his former fidgety behavior, but had risen to the task of leading their displaced and frustrated people, even from afar.

Abby had still not cleared him - or Octavia - to return anywhere near the city, but people had begun to actually travel out to the forest to seek his advice. And as reluctant as Bellamy was to admit it, it had made his own leading of their people a lot easier.

Now, however, he began having trouble focusing on anything. While he was sure the strange wave-like pain coming from Clarke's side was nothing compared to what it felt like for her, it was rather off throwing.

 _I'll try and help if you let me_ , he offered but she half shoved him to the edges of her mind, a sudden fierce annoyance taking a hold of her.

 _I got this_ , she hissed, _Besides, you idiot still haven't let Kane take care of your stupid scar and I'm not going to make things worse for you by putting my own pain on y— ugh, dammit!_

Yeah, he thought, this wasn't happening. The meeting would have to wait.

 _I'm on my way,_ he told her as soon as he had realized where she was, still out at the camp, overseeing the construction of the new Silveren homes and the extension of the northern city walls to encompass the camp in the future.

_I'm fine. I'll just… finish this here and head back to…_

_You'll go straight back to the city, Clarke. Someone else can take over for today._

_I'm pretty sure I'll still have a while before baby shows up and I'm not going to let you just walk out of the meeting. You know how they get when you're not there to keep them in check. And since Finn is still not cleared, he can't take over—_

_I'll tell Nate to keep an eye on things._

_Nate?_

He could hear her scoff, but decided to ignore it. Excusing himself, he stood up, stepping over to where Nate and Kane were sitting.

"I gotta go," he told them, nodding to Kane. "You happen to know where Abby is? Still with the foresters, or is she back yet?"

Marcus raised an eyebrow as he frowned. "Still in the forest, I'm afraid. Why, is Clarke alright?"

Bellamy swallowed, feeling a little awkward. "I, uh… think she's having the baby. Soon, anyways," he stammered, and Marcus nodded.

"Why don't I come with you? We'll get her over to the hospital. I know enough people there to get her a good doc and a room of her own."

Bellamy nodded, grateful for the man as a sudden stupor seemed to take a hold of him.

"Keep an eye on these guys, Nate, will you? If they try and bash each other's heads in again, don't hesitate calling the meeting off till later. I'll be back as soon as I can."

The poor kid nodded, looking less than pleased, but Bellamy couldn't care less right now. Somewhere at the periphery of his conscience he felt Clarke's pain pick up and he knew he needed to get to her. Stat.

* * *

…

When Bellamy appeared on the horizon, looking unkempt and worried, Clarke had to smile. She had to admit that his concern was kind of cute, even though she hated how lately people had begun to treat her like she was fragile, something that apparently came with being rather pregnant. But she was so over it.

As she froze in her tracks again, trying to breathe through a new spike of pain, she wondered how this could be something women had done for thousands of generations. How could this be normal? No, she had made up her mind. She wasn't going to have this baby after all.

 _I'm afraid you'll have to._ Bellamy was smiling at her as he helped her stand up and to her annoyance he had brought Marcus Kane, too. Great, another witness.

_He's just here to help. He brought one of his carriages so we can get you back to the ci—_

He stopped mid-sentence, or maybe she could just not pay attention anymore, but suddenly all was a blur of pain and she felt her knees give out as Bellamy caught all her weight.

Her conscience came back in time to hear Kane rather drily declare, "We'll have to stay here. She's not gonna make it back to the hospital."

"What?!" Bellamy sounded panicked. Clarke tried to stand, swatting at his hands, but he didn't let go.

"Oh shit," she then hissed as another contraction seized her body, feeling like it was threatening to squash her, before an awful full feeling seemed to just want to push out of her.

The baby. Marcus was right. She wasn't going to the city. She wasn't even going anywhere else. This baby was coming right here, right at his moment. And she was terrified.

"Bellamy!" she yelled, clutching his hands as he lowered her to the ground, looking as frantic as she felt, his hair a wild mop around his head, while her own started sticking to her forehead because it was so damn hot all of a sudden.

"You!" Marcus yelled at someone, she couldn't see who and didn't care, "get us some blankets, water, first aid kit, whatever you got. She's having the baby. Now. Hurry!"

She was, wasn't she? Oh no…

* * *

…

Marcus was nervous, panicked even, but looking at the poor girl before him who was trying her hardest to get a child into this world, he forced himself to seem calm and collected. In charge. Because she needed that right now, she needed him to be strong and tell her that he knew what he was doing.

"Trust me, it's actually not the first birth I helped with," he told her with a smile on his features and she shot him a wary glance.

"Please leave it at that and don't tell me now that it was all cows and dogs and kittens."

That got a good laugh out of him. The girl was smart. But she was Abby's after all. Fierce and strong, and he wasn't worried about her, knowing that she'd be alright. He was almost more worried about Bellamy. The kid looked so pale as if he was about to pass out from worry.

Directing his attention to Clarke, he shook his head. "No, I mean human births. I used to live in the Outskirts growing up. My grandmother had taken me in for a while there. She was something like a midwife…" He trailed off, realizing that he had never really spoken much about this part of his life, but Clarke surprised him by begging him to continue.

"I need something to take my mind off of this," she said, and Marcus complied with a nod and a smile.

"You know, your child will have it better. You two have helped make this place better for people like your baby, like me… there's more mixed origin people out there than you might know, and we haven't had it easy. Not everyone got as lucky as me and had loving grandparents and a rich family. But the things you've done, you've changed so much already…"

"Marcus, shut up!" Clarke suddenly blurted before he had even gotten far, but he could see why.

This was happening now, and there was only going forward. Pushing his sliding sleeves back up, he nodded to Bellamy to hold Clarke's hands. She was going to push, and there was no waiting anymore.

…

Later, when he sat among the blood and rags and gooey things births brought with them, he rested his hand on his thighs, looking up at the sky above.

It had grown dark, stars visible, and the strong sheen of the moon spent enough light to cast shadows around him. Bellamy had long carried Clarke over to the carriage, wrapped in blankets, holding their tiny baby girl, and Marcus wanted to give them a quick moment before he came to bring them all back to the city.

It had been a good day. Out there, the unknown was still threatening to come at them, the Blazing, the strange new bots, the Zoners that were quiet for now but always a threat. But today had been good. And they had shown the world before that they could change it. They would do so again. He would. For this new baby, and all these people that had become part of his life.

Because Marcus Kane cared.

* * *

...

The carriage's movements on the rough ground wiggled them around a lot, making Clarke stifle a gasp here and there, making Bellamy tighten his grasp on her. He was worried about her. Maybe they should have stayed at the camp after all so that she and the baby wouldn't get jostled so much. But she had wanted to get their baby to the safety within the walls, and who was he to argue with that? With her…

"Isn't she gorgeous?" Clarke breathed, looking up to him with a mesmerized smile that he reciprocated.

"Yeah."

She really was the most gorgeous little person he had ever seen and he couldn't wait to show her the world. Protect her from it, too.

"Hey, Madi," Clarke said, trying out the name they had picked, and it felt so natural that it was almost eerie.

Bellamy sighed, just watching his little family, these two people that meant so much to him, and he wondered when exactly he had become someone reliable and responsible enough to take care of another human being.

"A while ago," Clarke told him, smiling. "Believe it or not, she is not the only one looking up to you…"

He raised an eyebrow, and scoffed. "Without you, no one would…"

"I guess that just means we'll have to stick together to be our best." She turned back to cuddle with their baby, watch the tiny hand that grasped her finger, and Bellamy's heart was ready to explode with all the love it could barely contain anymore.

He was so happy in this moment that all the worries about everything else took a backseat. They'd still be there come morning, and as he had now learned there'd always be new obstacles to tackle, new hurdles to jump over even when it seemed like the worst was over. But he knew he could do it. With Clarke.

For their child.


	32. And after, to the mountains

...

"So, what? Are you saying that technically I could also be this… Risen?" John broke out in laughter as he looked at Octavia. Dangling his feet off the gurney that she had refused to sit on, he threw his head back, making her glare intensify and Raven shove him lightly.

Octavia's face was grim. "You think this is so funny, but think about it, your bots are much more similar to theirs than Finn's."

He scoffed, hopping onto the floor. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to hear that there was a chance he could be this mythical forester figure of the Risen. That maybe everything Indra had talked about was actually still waiting to happen in the future, just differently.

The thing with myths was, even if you didn't believe in them, once you heard about them they were kinda stuck in your brain, ideas festering in there, thoughts revolving around them. As if now that he heard about all this, he simply couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Well, sorry to disappoint," he dismissed, "but I'm not that special."

Raven raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look. "You're still the only person whose bond we managed to sever."

"Because you were too scared to try again," he countered, regretting it as soon as he saw her hurt expression. That she had almost killed him, had maybe aided in killing Emori still weighed heavily on her and she hadn't dared try healing anyone else for fear of doing something like that again. She wanted to be sure it wouldn't happen. But how could she be without trying again?

"Anyways," he said, giving her a soft kiss on the forehead, "I'm just saying that it sounds… funny to me. Plus, Finn looks good as the reluctant hero. And he's still the only one who can properly communicate with them, so there's that."

"Ya," Octavia allowed, looking like she was deep in thought. "I've been wondering about that. - Raven, is there any sign in his blood yet that the foreign bots have infiltrated his system?"

With a shake of the head, Raven denied. "Still just Silveren bots, but still rather heightened levels. Which worries me. Has he complained much about his shoulder or arm?" When Octavia shook her head, she nodded as if to herself. "Okay. What about the treatment. Has he been wearing the weapon as much as possible?"

Octavia nodded, grimacing. "He's growing tired of it, though… The sheen hasn't gone down at all, and it's been a while now. It didn't even take this long for Bell…"

Raven sighed, tugging at her ponytail. Exchanging a glance with John, he could tell that she had no clue what she was doing anymore. Or what was going on with Finn. He didn't dare say it out loud, but the kid's altered state certainly made it seem like he was the risen after all, and secretly, John was rather relieved that that would take him out of the equation. He didn't want or need to be special. He was rather happy where he now was, alone in his head, but with Raven in his life…

"Alright, ladies. Enough moping around. We gotta get back, and I think Bellamy is waiting for Octavia to finally be able to come see them in the city." Addressing Raven he added, "Doc said it's safe now, right? That she could come and see the baby?"

With a nod, Raven's expression finally turned into a smile, and she gave Octavia a brief hug. "You're cleared, auntie O. Let's get you over to Arkadia…"

"Finally…"

As Octavia limped past them and out the tent, John and Raven both followed her with their gazes until she was gone with a last wave of her hand.

"You think she'll be okay now?" Raven asked, as if he had any answer to that, and he shrugged, wrapping his arm around her, sweeping away a few stray strands that had escaped her ponytail.

"No idea. She's the type that is just looking for it, isn't she? Always ready for a challenge. Still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that she and your ex…" He made a crude gesture, making Raven swat at his hand and roll her eyes at him.

"Stop it, John," she said exasperatedly, and he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Why?" he asked with a mock innocent frown. "You know they're totally doing it, right? I mean, you have asked him, haven't you? Seeing as he's still like, your BFF and all…"

The eyeroll intensified and she shook her head, but he could see amusement behind it, just as usual. This was their thing, still. The banter, the jabs. Sometimes it almost turned a little hatefilled again, a little too dark, like it used to be when they both hadn't liked each other. But then she or he would pull back and get them out of that with a kiss or a bolder gesture or maybe even an "I love you," and then all was well again.

And he wouldn't want to have it any other way.

John Murphy a soldier and a Golden guard, former Bonded, had somehow lost his heart to this Silveren girl, Raven Reyes, soldier, scientist, and engineer, and it felt damn right.

"Come on," he now whispered into her ear, his lips so close that she wiggled away, a soft chuckle escaping her, then he tugged at her and together they, too, made their way out, and back to the city.

* * *

…

It was long dark when Octavia returned back to the forest. She had spent the better part of a week in the city now that she had been cleared, but living within the city walls hadn't felt right. It never had.

She was still the same free spirit she had always been, and her old dream of going to the mountains with Lincoln had surfaced more and more these last few weeks.

Seeing Bell with the baby, with Clarke, seeing them all together had almost broken her heart, in a good way. Gosh, she loved these three people with everything she had and seeing them so happy, seeing her big brother so happy and whole had spread an ache in her that she hadn't been able to shake off since.

He was finally okay. They all were. She had seen it. The next disaster would come, she knew that, but they'd be better equipped to deal with it. They would be okay.

And yet she was still broken. Her leg would never be okay again. The limp was almost second nature by now. Finn still had trouble with his shoulder, and not even Kane's attempts at trying to tackle it with his cure had done much help. The bone was "infected", the man had said, and he didn't know yet how to get the bots out of bone tissue. So they kept replicating whenever the cure tried killing them off, until Finn had one day just shaken his head and told Kane to stop.

She sighed as she remembered his face now. He hadn't looked upset or sorry for himself, or even resigned. Just… done, ready to move forward.

So she had moved forward with him. Because at some point during all this, she had begun to rely on him in more ways than one. He had become the one thing that kept her going, the one person to make her feel like she was okay, too.

Because with him, she was.

Being without him for a week while she had visited her brother in the city had been harder than she had anticipated. Now she was finally back in the forest, limping her way through the thicker part of the forest toward where she and Finn shared a tent these days, in the middle of a forester camp, and she had to think of Lincoln again as she walked past these people - his people - that nodded to her as she went, full of respect and friendliness, and she wished he could have been there to see it, to experience it with her.

How his people had accepted her in the end, and even her fellow Silveren boyfriend.

She started, pressing a hand to her mouth briefly. She hadn't ever used that word before, but it was probably appropriate. Because Finn was her boyfriend, wasn't he? She had a boyfriend and she was an aunt, and maybe it was time to go for the damn mountains and be happy already.

"Hey…"

He appeared out of the shadows of the now almost blackness surrounding her, just a soft rustle of leaves giving him away, and she smiled.

"Hey yourself, stranger. I missed you."

"How was the city?"

"Eh. Madi is the cutest little thing. It was good to finally be able to hug Bell and Clarke…"

Her gaze wavered and he seemed to pick up on something that seemed to worry him. "You okay?" he asked, and she nodded quickly.

"Ya, it was just… Place is too confined. I like it better out here. With you…"

He smiled, his eyes gleaming as the expression slowly melted away the longer he stared at her. His hand came up to brush away her hair, sweep across her cheek, and she grabbed his wrist, holding it there before he could move it away.

"Can we go away sometime?"

He swallowed, his lips working, and she knew she had been a bit too vague for him to know what to say.

"I mean," she amended, "I know you're still waiting to be cleared and I get it if you'd rather go back to our people when all this is done—"

"I'm… I don't," he muttered with a half shake of his head, but she spoke over him, as if she couldn't quite believe his words or that he knew what he really wanted, and she simply had to get this out now.

"What I mean is…" She sighed, struggling with how to even put it into words. How much easier would it be if she had a bond like Bell, or if Finn could just read her thoughts like those Blazing had done, these strange people that had left again not long after the Zoners had gone, promising they'd know if Finn ever called for help again, however that was supposed to work…

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, lowering her head. Allowing herself to clear her mind as best as possible, she then looked up again and just spoke. "I've always had this wish to go to the mountains for a bit, you know? To leave everything behind and see what else is out there. It used to be something Lincoln and I would talk about… Going someplace else, with no Silveren and Golden, no Neutral Zone, no forester clans. - No Blazing and no myth of the risen…"

She clicked her tongue, chuckling softly at his expression. As if she had slapped him, he tried to back away a little, giving her space that she didn't need. Her features softened as she pulled him closer again, absently tracing his temple, his cheek with a finger. "Not away from you," she clarified. I want to go away with you. Will you come away with me, Finn?"

Licking her lips, she looked up at him, not sure what she expected. That he just up and left with her? Without a clear plan or path? The thought made her chuckle, but then he leaned forward rather abruptly, kissing her on the lips, guardedly at first, surprising her, but when she reciprocated, he grew bolder, tugging at her lips just as he tugged at her clothes. And soon she found herself doing the same. Tearing his shirt up and over his head, until she could see the terrifying if beautiful sheen meandering along his collarbones and vanishing under the bandage around his arm, and she couldn't help but graze it with the open palm of her hand, making goosebumps erupt not just on his body but on hers too, as if an electric current ran through his body, traveling over into hers.

Her breath came in ever shorter bursts as she jumped to straddle him, not satisfied with touches anymore, wanting everything, wanting him, and when they both came to lie on the cool mossy forest ground, not caring about the sticks and twigs and leaves digging into them, she rose up to look down at him as they found their rhythm, her hands coming to rest right on the marks on his skin, a shivering tingling traveling from there until she felt like she was exploding, and spent she fell forward, sweaty and happy, her limbs tangling with his, her left leg screaming, her head resting on his chest where she felt the flutter of his heart calm down again slowly, slowly, until they both laughed, and she smiled.

"I guess that means yes…"

He wagged an eyebrow briefly, then placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"It does."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it here: thanks so much for reading. This was a humbling and eye opening experience and I'm glad I came prepared so I could leave you few brave readers with a semi-finished story. :)
> 
> Special thanks to those of you who left some feedback! I didn’t get a single comment on the other site I posted this, so you guys made me feel like someone is reading this after all. :)
> 
> I hope you had a bit of fun with this and liked a part here and there.
> 
> Thanks and take care now.


End file.
